words in movies
Ross: Okay, okay. Uh, well uh, Rachel is going to need to yell sweet nothings (Paul enters) in his ear.
(Paul reveals his presence by laughing, thus concluding standard sitcom joke 2B. Paul then pulls Ross aside to have a little chat with him and tells the rest of the group that hell just be one second.)
Paul: Okay look, Ross, just so you know that since Lizzie likes you so much, Ive decided to accept the fact that youre going out with her.
Paul: Yeah. But then I changed my mind. Im funny like that. So I told Lizzie, now Im telling you, I dont want you seeing my daughter anymore.
Paul: Yes it does.
Paul: Ill call the university and tell them about your relationship and have you fired.
Rachel: Oh, wait yes, but I cant eat too much. Paul is taking me out to dinner tonight, he said he has a big surprise planned.
Paul: (To Rachel) Thank you, its my moms. So this is the kitchen.
[Scene: Pauls Cabin, Paul and Rachel are sitting on the couch drinking wine and talking.]
Paul: I know. I like it up here.
Paul: Whats the matter honey? Did you see a little mouse?
Paul: Honey, we dont have any bears here.
Paul: Okay. Ill be right back. (Gets up and heads for the kitchen.)
Rachel: Okay. (After Paul leaves Rachel drops to the floor to confront Ross.) What?! What are you doing here?!
Rachel: I came with Paul!
Paul: (entering) Here you go honey! (Rachel kicks Ross back under the couch.)
Paul: Diet Coke. (Hands her the glass.)
Paul: Okay.
Paul: Ill be right back. (He goes to get the ice.)
Paul: (entering) Here you go honey. One Diet Coke with ice.
Paul: Im so happy that youre here.
Paul: (jumping up) Elizabeth! Oh look, Elizabeths here! Who are you talking to?
Paul: How did you know we were here?
Paul: Elizabeth, what are you doing here?! (Motions that he brought Rachel here to be alone with her.)
Paul: Why are you yelling?
[Scene: Pauls Cabin, continued from earlier.]
Paul: So Lizzie, are-are-are you planning on staying the night?
Paul: Good. Good. Not that we dont want you to stay, obviously youre welcomeHow much more homework do you have?
Rachel: Really? Okay. Okay, I-Ill go upstairs. (to Paul) If-if you get me something from the car.
Paul: What do you need from the car?
Paul: (whispering) Okay. (Starts for the car.)
(Rachel and Elizabeth go upstairs. Paul starts for the car, but notices his luggage is still out and decides to take in into the bedroom.)
[Cut to his bedroom, Ross is listening at the door as Paul opens the door, trapping Ross behind it. With Pauls back turned Ross coils up like a snake and slitters underneath the bed.]
Paul: (standing in front of a mirror and to himself) Just relax. Just relax Paul, youre doing great. (Ross moves a piece of luggage over so he can watch Paul.) She likes you. She Maybe, she likes you. She likes you. Yknow why? Because youre a (pause) neat guy. (Ross cant believe what hes hearing.) You are the man. You are (pause) the man! (He opens his shirt and looks at his chest.) I still got it. Nice and sexy. Youre just a love machine. (Starts singing) Im just a love machine and I wont work for nobody but you! Hey bab-y! (Flexes and grunts loudly.) Showtime. (Starts to leave and starts singing.) Im just a love machine, yeah ba-by! (Grunts again and Ross is stunned.)
[Scene: Pauls Bedroom, Elizabeth is entering.]
(Ross frantically starts to open the window as Paul enters and traps him halfway out the window.)
Paul: Ross!
Paul: Ross. You and I are going to have to have a little talk.
Paul: Youre next!!
Paul: Let me just see if I got this straight. I tell you to stay away from my daughter or Ill have you fired. What you heard was, "Take my daughter, come up to my country house, and ruin my weekend with Rachel!"
Ross: Okay, please-please Paul, just let me explain
Paul: No, let me explain! Fired!!
Ross: All right, fine! Fine! Have me fired! But uh, I want you to know that you and I are not all that different. I mean, I too am a neat guy. (Paul just looks at him.)
Paul: (panicked) What?
Ross: And I too am just a love machine. (Hums a little bit and mimics Pauls flexing.)
Paul: Ross, let me show you where the guest room is.
Paul: I usually prefer Elizabeths boyfriends to address me as Mr. Stevens.
Paul: I dont like you going out with my daughter Ross.
Paul: Fine! Two minutes. Go.
Paul: Thats exactly what my dad used to say! (Starts to breakdown again.)
Paul: (entering) Hi honey.
Paul: I wanted to be one with the waves, yknow?
Paul: Nope! That never happened to me!
Ross: Well if it doesnt matter to her, it doesnt matter to me! (to Paul) Still not yelling!
Paul: Really?! (She nods in the affirmative.)
Elizabeth: This is my father, Paul Stevens. Dad, this is Ross Geller.
Monica: (sees someone) Paul!
Paul: Im just me, my wife died shortly after Lizzie was born.
Rachel: Yeah thats great Paul, but yknow I wanna know what(Puts her hands on his shoulders)Wow, those are really great! I just wanna know what, what is behind this-this strong, silent exterior. Yknow they say that still waters run deep and I wanna swim in yours.
[Scene: Their Building, Monica and Rachel are going to apologize to Danny. Rachel knocks on his door, which he opens and he has this really bushy beard and long hair. Picture Paul Bunyan.]
Paul: I had a sister.
Paul: What?! I cant believe youre trying to stifle me! When just 14 hours ago we figured out that that is exactly what my mother was trying to do to me!
Paul: Ill call you later. Bye Ross. (Leaves)
Monica: Maybe. Joey: Wait. Your 'not a real date' tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?
Paul: I beg your pardon?
Paul: Yeah Ross its okay, its me, Mr. Stevens.
Paul: Joey! (Goes over and hugs Joey and picks him off of his feet.)
Ross: Okay umm, why dont we all take a seat, yknow? And uh, and Ill get us all some uh some coffees(He goes to pull out Elizabeths chair, but Paul steps in)Yeah, why dont you. (Paul pulls out her chair) Uh and you guys can talk about whatever, whatever you want. Yknow? Whatever pops into your head. (He turns his back to Paul and Elizabeth and points to himself for Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe. Then he goes to order the coffee.)
[Time Lapse, Paul is now weeping uncontrollably in Rachels arms.]
Monica: You mean you know Paul like I know Paul?
Chandler: But uh Ross, Ross is a great guy! I was roommates with him in college. Uh, funny story (He starts laughing then notices that Paul isnt happy.) Youre roommate in college died didnt he?
Joey: Come on! Itll be fun! Me, you, and Ross, and Paul probably
Paul: Wait! Wait! Listen! Listen to this! (Flips a couple pages and points to something.) Yknow what I wanted to be when I was that age?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is at the counter drinking coffee as Elizabeth enters with her dad, Paul. Elizabeth goes to kiss Ross, but he just kisses her on the forehead. By the way Paul is played by Bruce Willis. Yes, that Bruce Willis from Moonlighting, Die Hard, and Armageddon.]
Paul: No, it's, it's more of a fifth date kinda revelation.
Chandler: Stay out of my freezer! [Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Paul are still eating.]
Joey: Whoa-whoa-hey-hey! (Motions to Chandler, "Whats going on?") Hi, Paul is it? (Paul nods yes and still hugging Joey.)
Paul: (barely glancing at her) No. What ever happened to that little dude. (Pause) So full of dreams
Monica: (entering, happily) All right everybody! Everybody guess what? I just convinced Paul to give us a test next week!
Ross: Okay, umm I want you to know that I have never done anything like this before. I mean, I mean Ive been in um, relationships in general, uh but I have never done it with a studentI mean I notnot it! I mean, I mean I dontWe havent done it. Uh, I mean, I mean, weve-weve-weve done stuff. (Paul is not amused.) Okay, okay, a joke, a jokelighten the mood. Umm, two guys go into a bar. One of them is Irish.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Paul is writing something as Rachel enters.]
Paul: Well, you might try accidentally breaking something valuable of hers, say her-
Monica: Hi, come in! Paul, this is.. (They are all lined up next to the door.)... everybody, everybody, this is Paul.
Paul: And anyhow, Im sorry I was so harsh before, but you have to understand that I (pause) still look at Lizzie like shes a twelve-year-old girl.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is entering looking for Joey, but instead he finds Paul and Rachel making out on the couch.]
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Paul are eating.]
Chandler: Im a little busy here Paul.
Ross: (returning with the coffee) Okay here we are Paul, Elizabeth. (He sets down their cups.) So I hope you guys were finding something to talk about.
Rachel: Paul. Umm, I just wanted you to know that Ross really is a great guy.
Paul: Well, ever-ev-... ever since she left me, um, I haven't been able to, uh, perform. (Monica takes a sip of her drink.) ...Sexually.
Paul: Ross, look, I know Ive been giving you a lot of jabs and its partly because Im very protective of Lizzie, and partly because well, they just keep coming to me. But I have to admit that after all the wonderful things that Lizzie has told me and the many, many, (pause) many stories that Rachel has told me that, well (pause) youre not (pause) all bad.
Paul: No! No! Its just that, my dad never did. I miss my dad.
Paul: Why cant you get a girlfriend your own age?
Paul: Sure you did! You came in, you got all awkward, and you ran into the bedroom. You were shouting, "Joey! Joey!" Bye Rach. (Kisses her.)
Rachel: Uh, Pauls Caf�. They got great food and its really romantic.
Paul: Oh, you dont have to do that every time.
Paul: (acting manly to try and cover up his crying) Okay. Chandler, did your dad ever hug you?
Chandler: Okay, a quick one. Come on hug it out. (Paul rushes over and hugs Chandler tightly.) Oh hey! There you go. (The hug continues.) Okay. (The hug continues.)
Ross: (to Paul) Just-just so you know I was a freshman and she was a senior. So it wasnt as bad as-as
Rachel: (reading a tag) This one is uh Paul ONeil.
Chandler: Its not just their marriage! I mean, look at yours. Look at everybodys! The only person that can make marriage work is Paul Newman! And Ive met me; I am not Paul Newman. I dont race cars! I dont make popcorn! None of my proceeds go to charity.
Paul: Hi! Hi. (Hes looking around.) I think I left my keys here somewhere.
(Paul screams like a chicken and breaks down into tears again.)
(Phoebe turns to Rachel and mimes remove a lid of a jar. Ross enters and Paul motions for Rachel to leave with him now.)
Paul: Dont worry about it, I just didnt realize you were married. (Rachel returns and hears that.)
Paul: Honey I made a reservation at China Garden, is that okay?
(Ross turns his back on Paul and makes a I hate that guy face. Paul does the same thing.)
Paul: No, I'm telling you last night was like umm, all my birthdays, both graduations, plus the barn raising scene in Witness.
Paul: (over the intercom) It's, uh, it's Paul.
Monica: Change! Okay, sit down. (Shows Paul in) Two seconds.
Paul: Two years.
Paul: So you still think you, um... might want that fifth date?
Joey: Morning, Paul.
Rachel: Hello, Paul.
Rachel: No Paul, I dont know anything about you! Yknow, like-like your childhood! Tell me about your childhood!
Frannie: Paul the Wine Guy? Oh yeah, I know Paul.
Joey: Who's Paul?
Ross: Paul the Wine Guy, Paul?
Paul: Yeah?
(There's a knock on the door and it's Paul.)
Joey: Hey, Paul!
Paul: Ooh, steer clear of you.
Paul: Isn't there?
Paul: It's okay...
Paul: Thank you! Thank you so much!
Paul: (entering from Monica's room) Morning.
(Monica and Paul walk to the door and talk in a low voice so the others can't hear. The others move Monica's table closer to the door so that they can.)
Paul: Yeah. (They kiss) Thank you. (Exits)
Monica: You know Paul?
Paul: Well maybe you can date him then that would save me the trouble of killing him. (Rachel laughs then starts looking at him.) Are you okay?
Chandler: Hi, Paul, is it?
All: Hey! Paul! Hi! The Wine Guy! Hey!
Paul: Good. Bye! (Starts to leave.)
Paul: (laughs then checking his watch) 1 minute 50 seconds.
Paul: Ever since she walked out on me, I, uh...
Chandler: I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. Paul, was it?
Frannie: Are you kidding? I take credit for Paul. Y'know before me, there was no snap in his turtle for two years.
Paul: A surfer.
Paul: A part of him did yes.
Joey: Yes, its in my In in my pocket. (Paul hasnt dropped him yet.) (Chandler starts to reach for his front pocket.) My back pocket! My back pocket!
Paul: No, unfortunately Lizzies mom passed away shortly after she was born. I raised her by myself.
Chandler: No. How are ya Paul? (Starts to look for his credit card.)
Rachel: Thats-thats great! See? I already feel like I know you a little better! Thank you. Okay, come on. Now we can go eat. Lets go. (Gets up to leave, but Paul doesnt move.)
PHOEBE: Paul.
Paul: Neither of us like Ross!
Paul: I know, I know, I'm such an idiot. I guess I should have caught on when she started going to the dentist four and five times a week. I mean, how clean can teeth get?