words in movies
Chandler: Its not just their marriage! I mean, look at yours. Look at everybodys! The only person that can make marriage work is Paul Newman! And Ive met me; I am not Paul Newman. I dont race cars! I dont make popcorn! None of my proceeds go to charity.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Paul is writing something as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Really? Okay. Okay, I-Ill go upstairs. (to Paul) If-if you get me something from the car.
Paul: No! No! Its just that, my dad never did. I miss my dad.
Ross: (returning with the coffee) Okay here we are Paul, Elizabeth. (He sets down their cups.) So I hope you guys were finding something to talk about.
Paul: Let me just see if I got this straight. I tell you to stay away from my daughter or Ill have you fired. What you heard was, "Take my daughter, come up to my country house, and ruin my weekend with Rachel!"
Paul: Why cant you get a girlfriend your own age?
Rachel: Paul. Umm, I just wanted you to know that Ross really is a great guy.
Paul: Sure you did! You came in, you got all awkward, and you ran into the bedroom. You were shouting, "Joey! Joey!" Bye Rach. (Kisses her.)
Ross: All right, fine! Fine! Have me fired! But uh, I want you to know that you and I are not all that different. I mean, I too am a neat guy. (Paul just looks at him.)
Paul: Well, ever-ev-... ever since she left me, um, I haven't been able to, uh, perform. (Monica takes a sip of her drink.) ...Sexually.
Paul: Oh, you dont have to do that every time.
Chandler: Im a little busy here Paul.
Paul: Diet Coke. (Hands her the glass.)
Paul: Ross, look, I know Ive been giving you a lot of jabs and its partly because Im very protective of Lizzie, and partly because well, they just keep coming to me. But I have to admit that after all the wonderful things that Lizzie has told me and the many, many, (pause) many stories that Rachel has told me that, well (pause) youre not (pause) all bad.
[Cut to his bedroom, Ross is listening at the door as Paul opens the door, trapping Ross behind it. With Pauls back turned Ross coils up like a snake and slitters underneath the bed.]
Paul: (acting manly to try and cover up his crying) Okay. Chandler, did your dad ever hug you?
Paul: (To Rachel) Thank you, its my moms. So this is the kitchen.
Rachel: Okay. (After Paul leaves Rachel drops to the floor to confront Ross.) What?! What are you doing here?!
Rachel: Uh, Pauls Caf�. They got great food and its really romantic.
Ross: (to Paul) Just-just so you know I was a freshman and she was a senior. So it wasnt as bad as-as
Rachel: (reading a tag) This one is uh Paul ONeil.
Paul: Honey I made a reservation at China Garden, is that okay?
Paul: Hi! Hi. (Hes looking around.) I think I left my keys here somewhere.
(Paul screams like a chicken and breaks down into tears again.)
Chandler: Okay, a quick one. Come on hug it out. (Paul rushes over and hugs Chandler tightly.) Oh hey! There you go. (The hug continues.) Okay. (The hug continues.)
(Ross turns his back on Paul and makes a I hate that guy face. Paul does the same thing.)
Paul: Good. Good. Not that we dont want you to stay, obviously youre welcomeHow much more homework do you have?
Paul: Dont worry about it, I just didnt realize you were married. (Rachel returns and hears that.)
(Phoebe turns to Rachel and mimes remove a lid of a jar. Ross enters and Paul motions for Rachel to leave with him now.)
Paul: Honey, we dont have any bears here.
Paul: (over the intercom) It's, uh, it's Paul.
Frannie: Paul the Wine Guy? Oh yeah, I know Paul.
Paul: Yeah?
Monica: Change! Okay, sit down. (Shows Paul in) Two seconds.
(There's a knock on the door and it's Paul.)
Joey: Hey, Paul!
Joey: Who's Paul?
Ross: Paul the Wine Guy, Paul?
Joey: Morning, Paul.
Paul: Ooh, steer clear of you.
Paul: Isn't there?
Paul: It's okay...
Paul: Thank you! Thank you so much!
Paul: (entering from Monica's room) Morning.
(Monica and Paul walk to the door and talk in a low voice so the others can't hear. The others move Monica's table closer to the door so that they can.)
Paul: Yeah. (They kiss) Thank you. (Exits)
Paul: Two years.
Paul: So you still think you, um... might want that fifth date?
Rachel: Hello, Paul.
Rachel: No Paul, I dont know anything about you! Yknow, like-like your childhood! Tell me about your childhood!
Monica: You know Paul?
Chandler: Hi, Paul, is it?
(Ross frantically starts to open the window as Paul enters and traps him halfway out the window.)
Paul: No, I'm telling you last night was like umm, all my birthdays, both graduations, plus the barn raising scene in Witness.
Ross: And I too am just a love machine. (Hums a little bit and mimics Pauls flexing.)
All: Hey! Paul! Hi! The Wine Guy! Hey!
Paul: Okay look, Ross, just so you know that since Lizzie likes you so much, Ive decided to accept the fact that youre going out with her.
[Scene: Pauls Cabin, continued from earlier.]
Paul: (laughs then checking his watch) 1 minute 50 seconds.
Chandler: I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. Paul, was it?
Paul: Ever since she walked out on me, I, uh...
Paul: Well maybe you can date him then that would save me the trouble of killing him. (Rachel laughs then starts looking at him.) Are you okay?
Paul: Good. Bye! (Starts to leave.)
Frannie: Are you kidding? I take credit for Paul. Y'know before me, there was no snap in his turtle for two years.
Rachel: Oh, wait yes, but I cant eat too much. Paul is taking me out to dinner tonight, he said he has a big surprise planned.
Paul: A surfer.
Paul: A part of him did yes.
Paul: Ross. You and I are going to have to have a little talk.
Paul: No, unfortunately Lizzies mom passed away shortly after she was born. I raised her by myself.
Joey: Yes, its in my In in my pocket. (Paul hasnt dropped him yet.) (Chandler starts to reach for his front pocket.) My back pocket! My back pocket!
Rachel: Thats-thats great! See? I already feel like I know you a little better! Thank you. Okay, come on. Now we can go eat. Lets go. (Gets up to leave, but Paul doesnt move.)
Paul: Ill call the university and tell them about your relationship and have you fired.
PHOEBE: Paul.
Paul: Neither of us like Ross!
Paul: (whispering) Okay. (Starts for the car.)
Paul: Ill be right back. (He goes to get the ice.)
Chandler: No. How are ya Paul? (Starts to look for his credit card.)
Paul: (standing in front of a mirror and to himself) Just relax. Just relax Paul, youre doing great. (Ross moves a piece of luggage over so he can watch Paul.) She likes you. She Maybe, she likes you. She likes you. Yknow why? Because youre a (pause) neat guy. (Ross cant believe what hes hearing.) You are the man. You are (pause) the man! (He opens his shirt and looks at his chest.) I still got it. Nice and sexy. Youre just a love machine. (Starts singing) Im just a love machine and I wont work for nobody but you! Hey bab-y! (Flexes and grunts loudly.) Showtime. (Starts to leave and starts singing.) Im just a love machine, yeah ba-by! (Grunts again and Ross is stunned.)
Paul: Cant complain.
Paul: I know, I know, I'm such an idiot. I guess I should have caught on when she started going to the dentist four and five times a week. I mean, how clean can teeth get?
Paul: Oh Rachel, Im so sorry. I didnt mean to overwhelm you. Its just that, when those gates open, you (Starts to breakdown.) Hard to close em. But they are closed now. Believe me.
Paul: So Ross was in college and decided to jump at the chance to take a young girl to her high school prom.
Paul: Well, this is fun. So Ross, did you kill any of these wives?
(Rachel and Elizabeth go upstairs. Paul starts for the car, but notices his luggage is still out and decides to take in into the bedroom.)
Ross: (normal voice) No, go on! It's Paul the Wine Guy!
Paul: (laughing) That's one way! Me, I- I went for the watch.
Paul: (entering) Here you go honey! (Rachel kicks Ross back under the couch.)
Rachel: All right Paul, Im not asking for a lot here. Okay? Just give me something. Anything!
Paul: I wanted a big wheel. And instead my parents got me this little plastic chicken that you hop around on. It was embarrassing; kids made fun of me. That was a pretty tough year.
Paul: Okay. Ill give you one chance to change my mind. (Ross laughs in relief) You got one minute. (Ross suddenly gets worried.)
Paul: Wow. What can I say? (Pause, pointing at Ross) This doesnt make me like you any better!
Paul: Hey! I have so much more to tell ya, Ive written it all down!
Paul: Yeah. But then I changed my mind. Im funny like that. So I told Lizzie, now Im telling you, I dont want you seeing my daughter anymore.
Paul: Well yeah, it usually, it takes two people to (He taps his index fingers together.)
Paul: And in fifth grade I got into a fight. Well, it wasnt really a fight. Richard Darinvel bit me on the nose and, and I feel down. I still have a little scare right here (points to it) you can see it.
Paul: Im thinking that you are looking really fine it that dress.
Paul: So Ross, what your problem?
Rachel: Yeah. Yeah, I-I-I see the scare. Listen, Paul, I think this is really great that-that yknow, you shared your feelings. Its really, its beautiful, but umm, what do you say we go share some food?
Ross: It-its great to meet you Paul.
Paul: Im so happy that youre here.