words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica is still unpacking after the move, and Phoebe is their also.]
Phoebe: Oh, hey, Mon, do you still have your like old blouses and dresses from high school?
Phoebe: Well, its just that maternity clothes are so expensive.
Rachel: Bloomingdales eliminated my department. (Phoebe gasps)
Phoebe: Personal shopping? What is that? Like where you walk around with snooty rich people and tell them what to buy?
Phoebe: That sounds great!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler are entering after the play. Phoebe and Joey are already there.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Ooh! How was Kathys play?
Phoebe: Thats a good idea for a business!
Phoebe: Hey, Mel Gibson and Clint Eastwood.
Phoebe: Oh-okay, I get the game now.
Phoebe: Oh. (Joey flips the pancake and Phoebe catches it and throws it on her plate.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are there eating pizza as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: Rachel has a new doll.
Phoebe: Ooh, what do I smell?
Phoebe: Ooh! (They all go over to her apartment)
Phoebe: What? What?
Phoebe: (getting up) Well, I hate to eat and run, but
Phoebe: Yeah, I dont need it.
Phoebe: Well, why did you make like a whole big thing out of y'know, everyone has to hang out in the big apartment?
Phoebe: If you wanted to punish them, you shouldve just made them hang out here!
Phoebe: Oh, are we gonna trash that place?
Phoebe: Wait a minute.
Phoebe: Why dont you ask him out?
Phoebe: He just got a divorce right?
Phoebe: So hes probably really nervous around women, y'know? Maybe, you just have to make the first move.
Phoebe: (shocked) Youve never asked a guy out?!!
Phoebe: Thousands of times!! That doesnt make me sound too good does it?
Phoebe: Oh, please!
Joey: (to Phoebe) Hey, how you doin?
(Phoebe looks at him, and then giggles and looks away.)
Rachel: You know what, Im gonna do that, Im gonna call him up, and Im gonna ask him out. I can do that. Ask him out. (Practising) How you doin? (Calls him) Hi! Joshua? Its Rachel Green from Bloomingdales. (Listens) Yeah, umm, I was wondering if you umm, if you umm, left your wallet at the store today? Well, we found a wallet, and we(Listens) the license? Well, that is a good idea! Uh, well, lets see here this says this license belongs to a uh, uh, belongs to a mister uh, Pheebs, and umm, yeah, so sorry to bother you at home. Ill see you tomorrow. Bye. (Hangs up) (to Phoebe) Youve done that a thousand times?
Phoebe: Ive never done that.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Phoebe are watching a movie as Chandler comes in from his bedroom.]
Phoebe: No, sorry.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is debriefing Rachel on her rejection earlier that day and telling her what she shouldve done. Ross and Phoebe are watching.]
Phoebe: Great!
Phoebe: Oh did youwhat did youdid you work for two days straight?
Phoebe: Oh good!
Phoebe: How? How is your fault?
Phoebe: Oh God, Korea is such a beautiful country.
Phoebe: Well look, if I wanted to see a fireman, I would date one. Okay? (she drags him away)
Chandler: Monica, can I talk to you for a sec? (Pulls her away from Phoebe and Rachel)
Monica: So anyway, I'm cooking dinner for him Monday night. You know, kind of like an audition. And Phoebe, he really wants you to be here, which will be great for me because then you can 'ooh' and 'ahh' and make yummy noises.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Phoebe is reading the paper and Joey enters.]
Phoebe: (is struggling with the cat) Stop it! Stop it! She keeps squirming, trying to get away! Just like when she was alive.
Phoebe: (overdoing it) Oh my God!!
Phoebe: Bye!
Phoebe: Yeah, all right. (starts to leave)
Monica: No! Phoebe!
Phoebe: Hey, Monica!
Phoebe: Oh, do you need a hug? You dont have to bring me anything!
Phoebe: Oh, she sees him! Oh, theyre hugging!
(He turns to get his coat and Monica gives Rachel and Phoebe two thumbs up as Chandler walks over to Ross.)
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Wow, its like a dirty math problem.
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Yeah! What are you saying?
Phoebe: For what? I cant believe this! I gotta get out of here. (leaves)
Phoebe: But weve only had one job.
Phoebe: (intrigued) Oh?!
Phoebe: Fine. But you can't help me develop my new universal language.
Phoebe and Girl: Ewww!!!
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Monica!
Phoebe: And, and! (She turns on a bubble maker.)
Phoebe: No.
Phoebe: Okay, Im hearing.
Phoebe: No.
Phoebe: Really?! Are you sure?
Phoebe: Yeah. Thats what you really want. Yeah, I dont want to be the reason youre unhappy, that would just make me unhappy, and I really dont want to be the reason Im unhappy.
Phoebe: (To Joey) Which means she had a couple spritzers and a quick peck on the cheek.
Phoebe: Umm, wow. This-this isnt gonna be easy. Umm, I dont think we should see each other anymore.
[Scene: Jasons apartment, Phoebe has gone to break up with Jason.]
Phoebe Sr.: I know. Im mad at me too.
Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: (entering) Are you ah, Phoebe Abott?
Phoebe: Where were you?
Phoebe: Oh, which museum?
Phoebe: (to Mischa) Thank you, very much! Oh! (to Sergei) Thank you!
Phoebe: Well, how much do you think he needs?
Phoebe: (picking up Monica's used Kleenex and putting some in her pocket.) Sure.
Ross: That's all right, Rach, we got the bags. Hi, hello. Julie, this is my sister Monica. This is Chandler. Phoebe. Joey, what up?
Phoebe: Umm, that papers two weeks old.
PHOEBE: Anyway, OK, now promise you won't like, freak out and say how great this is until I'm done, OK.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: (To Joey) Maybe its something you ate?
Phoebe: I can't believe I never realized this before, I'm in my thirty's and never been in a long-term relationship oh my god (starts crying) what's wrong with me.
Phoebe: Whats wrong Mon?
Phoebe: But now she'll never know how he feels!
(Phoebe snaps the ball to Monica, who pitches back to Rachel.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Julie is wanting to get her hair cut from Phoebe.]
[Scene: Central Perk, the next day, Phoebe is there.]
Phoebe: Oh, yay!
Phoebe: (shocked) You work with robots!!
Phoebe: Well, I didn't get embarrassed running next to Miss (panting). But no, okay. No, no, I can see why running with me would be embarrassing to you. Yeah, okay. You're uptight.
Monica: Phoebe! Come on! Lets go! (Knocks on her door.) Come on! (Phoebe enters with guitar and not ready to go.) Why arent you dressed yet?!
Phoebe: If shes no fun, why do you want to date her at all?
Phoebe: Oh, I-I gave them the puppy and it made them so happy that I decided Im gonna carry their baby.
Rachel: (to Monica and Phoebe) Oh my God, you guys, what am I doing? What am I doing? This is so un-me!
Phoebe: (on phone from Central Perk) Hey Joey, I just wanted to let you know that I found a selfless good deed. I just went down to the park and I let a bee sting me.
Monica: Oh. (to Phoebe) Can I have a tissue?
Phoebe: Umm, no, it's a purse. And there's a thermos in it.
Phoebe: Oh, good, that's good, but you don't look like you were mugged!
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: I know, Im sorry! But yknow, this ring is better! Monica never even saw the other ring.
Phoebe: Theres sooo much you dont know.
Chandler: Oh yeah, then uh, what was Phoebes song about?
Phoebe: So, did you pick one yet?
PHOEBE: OK, um, I'm gonna play, um, some songs about grandparents, OK. [singing] Now, grandma's a person who everyone likes, she bought you a train and a bright, shiny bike. But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner, And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner. Now, your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru, but the truth is she died and some day you will too. La-la-la la la-la-la la la-la-la la...
Joey: (to Leslie) So ah, Phoebe tells us you write jingles.
Ross: Catch any big fish? (Phoebe, Ross, and Monica all go over to him.)
Phoebe: Well look, you dont really like the one from uptown and youre too exhausted from dating the one up in Poughkeepsie, so I say you just end them both. Okay? You take a train up to Poughkeepsie and break up with her, and on your way back you break up with uptown. And then by the time you get home tonight, youre done!
Phoebe: Umm listen, I dont think I dont think Im gonna make it to the wedding. So I just want to wish you all the luck in the world.
Phoebe: "No time for losers, 'cause we are the champions of the world...!" Thank you!
Phoebe: What?! Oh my... (sees the remains of the house) Oh my God!! What happened?!
PHOEBE: Yeah, I don't know.
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe is still ringing her bell. A guy puts some change into the bucket.]
PHOEBE: It could be like a big giant guy.
Phoebe: I just felt so bad, missing this. So I just slipped him a little something, you know. As long as I'm back in five or six hours, it will be alright.
Phoebe: All right, Im gonna go take a pregnancy test, right now.
Rachel: Phoebe, the place has emptied because of him.
Phoebe: Yeah
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!!
Phoebe: I know!
Phoebe: Yeah, whats your point?
Phoebe: How'd he take it?
Phoebe: Well the doctor says it takes a couple days, but my bodys always been a little faster than Western medicine.
Monica: Phoebe, you are a bad ass!
Phoebe Sr: Its open! Come in!
Phoebe: (looking out the window) Oh hey, you guys, look! Ugly Naked Guy is putting stuff in boxes!
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: Im sorry, Im late.
Phoebe: Okay umm, well, first Chandler and Monica will get married and be filthy rich by the way. Yeah. But it wont work out.
Phoebe Sr: Hi!
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Why not?