words in movies
(Both of them remove their hats as Phoebe enters.)
Phoebe: Hey! Umm, well, only okay because I just got back from, from the hospital.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, no-no-no. I'm fine. I'm okay, but umm, my Grandma sorta died.
Phoebe: It's okay, I mean she had a really incredible life. And it's not like I'm never gonna see her again, y'know she's gonna visit.
Phoebe: Yeah, her first day on a new spiritual plane and she's gonna come to the coffeehouse!
Phoebe: It's okay. Actually y'know what, it's kinda cool. 'Cause it's like y'know, one life ends and another begins.
Phoebe: Well umm, okay we were in the market and she bent down to get some yogurt and she just never came back up again.
Phoebe: It was really sweet. The last thing she said to me was; "Okay dear, you go get the eggs and I'm gonna get the yogurt and we'll meet at the checkout counter." And y'know what? We will meet at the checkout counter.
[Scene: Ursula's apartment, Phoebe is about to break the bad news to her sister. She knocks on the door.]
Phoebe: It's Phoebe.
Phoebe: Umm, well I sorta have some bad news, can I come in?
Phoebe: Umm, well, umm Grandma died.
Phoebe: No, she just died today! Okay, umm, we're having a memorial service tomorrow.
Phoebe: No you didn't!
Phoebe: Well, lots of people! Look, are you coming to memorial service or not?
Phoebe: Fine. Okay, enjoy your concert. (Starts to leave.)
[Scene: Phoebe's Grandmother's memorial, Phoebe is at the door welcoming people.]
Phoebe: Well hello, Mrs. Penella! Thank you so much for coming! Well, okay look, here's your umm, 3-D glasses and Reverend Pong will tell you when to put them on.
Phoebe: (notices his bag.) Hey, y'know what? My Grandma had the exact same bag!
Phoebe: Thanks!
(The gang moves off as Phoebe greets the new guest.)
Phoebe: Yeah, welcome.
Phoebe: Umm here's your 3-D glasses.
Phoebe: So how did you know Francis?
Phoebe: Really?! What's your name?
(Needless to say, Phoebe is stunned into silence. And one audience member gasps.)
Phoebe: You're Frank Buffay?
Phoebe: You just said
Phoebe: But
(Phoebe takes one step after him and stops.)
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: That was my dad!
[Scene: The Funeral Home, continued from earlier. Phoebe is returning after looking for her father.]
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: He said, "Nice to meet you Glenda." (They stare at her, dumbfounded) Well, obviously I couldn't give him my real name?
Phoebe: Come on, you saw the way he ran out of here! What do you think? He's gonna stick around and talk to the daughter he abandoned!
Phoebe: Well, I said, I told him y'know, that I was the executor person of Francis' will and that I needed to talk to him so I'm gonna meet him at the coffee house later.
Phoebe: All right, well, I just can't think about that right now. I just wanna say good-bye to my Grandma.
Phoebe: All right, I'd better go too. I have to go talk to my dad.
Phoebe: Umm, no, not at first 'cause I-I don't want to freak him out
Phoebe: Y'know it's funny, you'd think I'd be angry. I mean, you'd think I'd wanna rip his tiny little head off. Fortunately, I'm past it.
Monica: Phoebe, you do seem a little tense. Here, let me help you.
Phoebe: All right.
(She goes over and tries to give Phoebe a massage. Phoebe yelps in pain and jumps away from her.)
Phoebe: Oh! Get off!! Ow!! Oh, stop it!! Why?! Why are you doing that to me?!
Phoebe: As a masseuse and a human, I'm begging you, never do that to anyone!
Phoebe: (seeing the look on Chandler's face) He-he does not like it! He hates it! He's in pain!
Phoebe: Umm, thank you for meeting with me.
Phoebe: Come, sit. (He's hesitant.) Sit. (Still hesitating.) Sit! (He sits on the arm of the couch.) Umm, all righty, before we get started I justI need you to state for the official record that you are in fact Frank Buffay.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Huh?
Phoebe: Oh yes. Yes. Yeahno. She did. She left you umm, (looking in her purse) this lipstick.
Phoebe: Okay. I have just a few questions to ask so I'm going to get out my official forms. (She picks up a couple of crumpled receipts.) Okay, so, question 1) You and uh, you were married to Francis' daughter Lilly, is that correct?
Phoebe: Okay, umm, question 2) Umm, did that marriage end A. Happily, B. Medium, or C. In the total abandonment of her and her two children?
Phoebe: Yeah. See? (Quickly shows him.)
Phoebe: Hmm, okay, total abandonment. Okay, reasons for abandonment, A. Top secret government work, B. Amnesia, or C. Or you're just a selfish, irresponsible bad, bad man?
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: But you-you-you came to see Lilly?
Phoebe: Lilly's dead. (He looks up in shock.)
Phoebe: She's dead.
Phoebe: Well, if she isn't then cremating her was a big mistake.
Phoebe: 17 years ago.
Phoebe: Well, Ursula is a waitress and-and she lives in Soho. And Phoebe, (pause) is on this couch.
Phoebe: Yep, lipstick and a daughter, big day for you!
Frank Sr.: Phoebe, I-I-I-umm, (Sits down next to her and brushes against her leg.) Oops. (He backs up.) I just, I-I-I-I dont, I dont know what to say. I just can't believe that you're my daughter, you're so pretty.
Phoebe: Yes. Well, that's neither here nor there.
Phoebe: Y'know what, it doesnt matter what you say it's not gonna make a difference anyway, so you can just go.
Phoebe: That's a defense?
Phoebe: You make up songs?
(Phoebe is trying not to smile. He moves closer and very shyly holds out his hand and turns his head, hoping for Phoebe to take his hand. She doesn't.)
Phoebe: Well, I am. (Moves over and takes his hand.)
Phoebe: Not yet, no. (Drops his hand and moves back.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey returns from his audition and finds everyone but Phoebe there.]
Phoebe: Ohh, I think she knows where my Dad is.
Phoebe: (singing) ...fuchsia and mauvvve. Those are the 66 colours of my bedroommmm. (applause) Thank you, thank you. Ohh, and I invite you to count the colours in your bedroom. (Sees that Phoebe Sr. has entered, and to her) Except for you. You go away.
Phoebe: Okay.
Monica, Joey, and Phoebe: [singing] I'm on top of the world, looking down on creation and the only explanation I can find...
Phoebe: Look, look! (She lifts up the roof, and the front panel falls revealing the interior.)
Phoebe: I don't even have a 'pl'.
Joey: Look weve got to find her. Phoebe just called!! Rachels coming to tell Ross she loves him!!
Phoebe: So, what? Monica, we have the winning ticket! My psychic said I was gonna win, remember?
Phoebe: Have you thought about what you would be giving up? You can't move out of the city, what if you want Chinese food at 5am? Or a fake Rolex that breaks as soon as it rains or an Asian hooker sent right to your door?
Monica: You guys! Do you realize that any minute now, Phoebe can be pregnant?
Phoebe: Well, I made you a candle light dinner in the park.
Phoebe: And that�s Judy over there at the bar with Emma?
Phoebe: Oh, you Americans always butcher the French language.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross and Phoebe have been banished to Ross's place.]
Phoebe: Well I want to get in on this. Hey Mon? I dont think I can help you after all, I didnt realize this game was on.
Phoebe: Well, what period is it from?
Phoebe: Rachel! Come on out! Monica made breakfast!
Phoebe: Im sorry.
Phoebe Sr: What?!
Phoebe Sr: What are you doing here?!
(At that Phoebes eyes open in shock.)
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe Sr: Then don't break in!!
Phoebe: All better! Back to work! Except this clown from research told me I was fired. He should do his research, huh?
Phoebe: Ehh?
Phoebe Sr.: (to Phoebe) Im your mother.
PHOEBE: I can't believe you caved.
Phoebe: YOU DID NOT!!!! Oh! No! You came up with Relaxi Cab! Thats not good.
Phoebe: (Removing one of the strips) Ow-ow-ow-ow! Oh my God!!!
Phoebe Sr.: Well, the-the three of us we were, kind of umm, a couple.
Phoebe: Okay. (watches him leave)
Phoebe Sr.: Well, we were...
Phoebe: How close?
Phoebe Sr.: Well, Im so sorry. I thought I was leaving you with the best parents in the world, I didnt even hear about your Mom and Dad til a couple of years ago, and by then you were already grown up. I dont know, youre here, and I would, I would really, I would like to get to know you.
Phoebe: I dont ever want to see you again!
Phoebe: Well, umm, my Moms friend, Phoebe, is actually my birth Mom.
Phoebe: Oh, okay, yeah. (to Monica) I put your stuff in her room, and her stuff in your room.
Phoebe: Why, do I have a feeling thats not as happy as it sounds? (Joey points out one going into the chipper to her, as this haunty, demonic music starts to play in the background) No! Nooooo!!! (she winces in horror and hides her face against Joeys shoulder, as she sees the tree spit out from the chipper.)
Joey: (to Phoebe) Hey, how you doin?
Phoebe: So wow, it looks like you took care of everything. Thanks a lot, co-host.
Phoebe: You never run on a barge!
Phoebe: No! Rachel, thats what they want me to do. My warranty expires tomorrow, if I dont get through, theyre not gonna fix my crappy, broken phone for free! We cannot let them win! Its us versus them!
(Phoebe and Monica walk in from getting some coffee.)
Phoebe: (looking in the window) Right, oh yeah. Wow, oh, it looks like Ross is breaking up with her. Uff, I hope he lets her down easy. Lets go.
Phoebe: (running through the door) No! Oh! Youre alive! Youre alive!
Phoebe: Okay. Oooh! Oh, this is our last huddle, yeah.
Monica: (to Phoebe) Here you go. You can wear this. (hands her a sweater)
Phoebe: Okay, well umm, I know that we havent talked in a long time, but umm okay, our Mom is not our birth Mom. This-this other lady is our birth Mom.
Phoebe: (shocked) You know her?!
(Ursula is genuinely pleased that her sister has visited her, after so many years. Phoebe hesitates over how best to begin.)
Phoebe: I, umm, shut up!
(Phoebe enters.)
[Scene: the hotel lobby. Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk in from the outside.]
Chandler: (jumping up) Hey! Phoebe! We can talk to Phoebe!!
Phoebe and Rachel: Ewwww!!
[Phoebe enters all dressed up]
Phoebe: Whatcha doin'?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is finishing up a song.]
Phoebe: Okay, bye.
Phoebe: No.
Phoebe Sr.: Yeah, I guess youre right.
Phoebe: Are you asking me out? Cause it would be kinda weird since you just broke up with my sister.
Phoebe Sr.: I knew it, wow!!
Phoebe: I-I like pizza!
Phoebe: Oh, totally. Oh, God, oh, she seemed so happy too.
RACHEL: Ok, so Phoebe, now are you gonna call your dad and let him know that his dog is ok?
Phoebe Sr.: Hey! Me too!
Phoebe: Cliff, do you really believe that a character from a TV show was here in your room?
Phoebe: Oh whoa-whoa-whoa! Wait a minute, open up your hand; let me take a look. (The lady opens up her hand.) Quarter. Dime. Lint? Not interested in that. (She throws the lint away.) What's this? A Canadian coin? Get outta here! (The lady walks away.)
Phoebe: Noooo!!
Phoebe: Ross, went to get a cab so we can all... No, wh-what are you doing! No, Monica, no!
Monica: Sometimes I have bad dreams. (starts to break down, and Phoebe offers her, her hand to comfort her.)
Phoebe: Excuse me. Umm, is Vince here?
Phoebe: Oh yeah, Ive done it for years. I actually stopped because I was so accurate. Yknow, and-and yknow, one of the great joys of life is its-its wondrous unpredictability. Yknow? And also tea tends to give me the trots.
Phoebe: Okay, enough with the third degree! I-Ive, I dont live here anymore.
PHOEBE: Ooh, where are you off to, Travelin' Jake?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Joey are there.]
Phoebe: How can you not know which one?
Phoebe: Yeah, I actually dont know...
Phoebe and Rachel: Oh no.
Phoebe: So, Im here, ready to play.
Phoebe: Nothing. Nothing.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are in the kitchen.]
PHOEBE: Look kibbles, bits. Oh God, alright, get the hell off my leg you yippity piece of crap. [Flings the dog off and jumps in the cab. The dog keeps jumping up to the window.] Ok, alright, we have a problem.
Phoebe: Oh, mon Dieu!
Phoebe: No-no, sorry. Cookies are good, thanks.
Phoebe: This is madness. It's madness, I tell you, for the love of God, Monica, don't do it!! ...Thank you.
PHOEBE: No, huh uh, no way, I'm sorry, not gonna happen.
Phoebe Sr.: Ohh, so cute.
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: Well, I dont think Monica is gonna take this away.
Phoebe: I know! So this woman probably could like have all kinds of stories about my parents, and she might even know like where my Dad is. So I looked her up, and she lives out by the beach. So maybe this weekend we could go to the beach?
Phoebe: Of course! Yeah, I was uh, umm Thigh Mega Tampon.
Phoebe: Y'know what you should send him? A cartoon of cigarettes. 'Cause that why he could trade it for protection. No. That's prison.
PHOEBE: Oh, I am sorry but I am incredibly talented.
MONICA: Thank you. This is my friend Phoebe. She's gonna be helping me tonight.
Phoebe: Yeah? (sees Ross) Hi!
(Ross appears at the window behind them crouched behind a garbage can and ready to spring his attack on who he thinks are Phoebe and Rachel. The camera cuts to the exterior view and Phoebe and Rachel call the shots from inside.)
Phoebe: Na-uh, I am!
Phoebe: Okay.