words in movies
(Both of them remove their hats as Phoebe enters.)
Phoebe: Hey! Umm, well, only okay because I just got back from, from the hospital.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, no-no-no. I'm fine. I'm okay, but umm, my Grandma sorta died.
Phoebe: It's okay, I mean she had a really incredible life. And it's not like I'm never gonna see her again, y'know she's gonna visit.
Phoebe: Yeah, her first day on a new spiritual plane and she's gonna come to the coffeehouse!
Phoebe: It's okay. Actually y'know what, it's kinda cool. 'Cause it's like y'know, one life ends and another begins.
Phoebe: Well umm, okay we were in the market and she bent down to get some yogurt and she just never came back up again.
Phoebe: It was really sweet. The last thing she said to me was; "Okay dear, you go get the eggs and I'm gonna get the yogurt and we'll meet at the checkout counter." And y'know what? We will meet at the checkout counter.
[Scene: Ursula's apartment, Phoebe is about to break the bad news to her sister. She knocks on the door.]
Phoebe: It's Phoebe.
Phoebe: Umm, well I sorta have some bad news, can I come in?
Phoebe: Umm, well, umm Grandma died.
Phoebe: No, she just died today! Okay, umm, we're having a memorial service tomorrow.
Phoebe: No you didn't!
Phoebe: Well, lots of people! Look, are you coming to memorial service or not?
Phoebe: Fine. Okay, enjoy your concert. (Starts to leave.)
[Scene: Phoebe's Grandmother's memorial, Phoebe is at the door welcoming people.]
Phoebe: Well hello, Mrs. Penella! Thank you so much for coming! Well, okay look, here's your umm, 3-D glasses and Reverend Pong will tell you when to put them on.
Phoebe: (notices his bag.) Hey, y'know what? My Grandma had the exact same bag!
Phoebe: Thanks!
(The gang moves off as Phoebe greets the new guest.)
Phoebe: Yeah, welcome.
Phoebe: Umm here's your 3-D glasses.
Phoebe: So how did you know Francis?
Phoebe: Really?! What's your name?
(Needless to say, Phoebe is stunned into silence. And one audience member gasps.)
Phoebe: You're Frank Buffay?
Phoebe: You just said
Phoebe: But
(Phoebe takes one step after him and stops.)
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: That was my dad!
[Scene: The Funeral Home, continued from earlier. Phoebe is returning after looking for her father.]
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: He said, "Nice to meet you Glenda." (They stare at her, dumbfounded) Well, obviously I couldn't give him my real name?
Phoebe: Come on, you saw the way he ran out of here! What do you think? He's gonna stick around and talk to the daughter he abandoned!
Phoebe: Well, I said, I told him y'know, that I was the executor person of Francis' will and that I needed to talk to him so I'm gonna meet him at the coffee house later.
Phoebe: All right, well, I just can't think about that right now. I just wanna say good-bye to my Grandma.
Phoebe: All right, I'd better go too. I have to go talk to my dad.
Phoebe: Umm, no, not at first 'cause I-I don't want to freak him out
Phoebe: Y'know it's funny, you'd think I'd be angry. I mean, you'd think I'd wanna rip his tiny little head off. Fortunately, I'm past it.
Monica: Phoebe, you do seem a little tense. Here, let me help you.
Phoebe: All right.
(She goes over and tries to give Phoebe a massage. Phoebe yelps in pain and jumps away from her.)
Phoebe: Oh! Get off!! Ow!! Oh, stop it!! Why?! Why are you doing that to me?!
Phoebe: As a masseuse and a human, I'm begging you, never do that to anyone!
Phoebe: (seeing the look on Chandler's face) He-he does not like it! He hates it! He's in pain!
Phoebe: Umm, thank you for meeting with me.
Phoebe: Come, sit. (He's hesitant.) Sit. (Still hesitating.) Sit! (He sits on the arm of the couch.) Umm, all righty, before we get started I justI need you to state for the official record that you are in fact Frank Buffay.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Huh?
Phoebe: Oh yes. Yes. Yeahno. She did. She left you umm, (looking in her purse) this lipstick.
Phoebe: Okay. I have just a few questions to ask so I'm going to get out my official forms. (She picks up a couple of crumpled receipts.) Okay, so, question 1) You and uh, you were married to Francis' daughter Lilly, is that correct?
Phoebe: Okay, umm, question 2) Umm, did that marriage end A. Happily, B. Medium, or C. In the total abandonment of her and her two children?
Phoebe: Yeah. See? (Quickly shows him.)
Phoebe: Hmm, okay, total abandonment. Okay, reasons for abandonment, A. Top secret government work, B. Amnesia, or C. Or you're just a selfish, irresponsible bad, bad man?
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: But you-you-you came to see Lilly?
Phoebe: Lilly's dead. (He looks up in shock.)
Phoebe: She's dead.
Phoebe: Well, if she isn't then cremating her was a big mistake.
Phoebe: 17 years ago.
Phoebe: Well, Ursula is a waitress and-and she lives in Soho. And Phoebe, (pause) is on this couch.
Phoebe: Yep, lipstick and a daughter, big day for you!
Frank Sr.: Phoebe, I-I-I-umm, (Sits down next to her and brushes against her leg.) Oops. (He backs up.) I just, I-I-I-I dont, I dont know what to say. I just can't believe that you're my daughter, you're so pretty.
Phoebe: Yes. Well, that's neither here nor there.
Phoebe: Y'know what, it doesnt matter what you say it's not gonna make a difference anyway, so you can just go.
Phoebe: That's a defense?
Phoebe: You make up songs?
(Phoebe is trying not to smile. He moves closer and very shyly holds out his hand and turns his head, hoping for Phoebe to take his hand. She doesn't.)
Phoebe: Well, I am. (Moves over and takes his hand.)
Phoebe: Not yet, no. (Drops his hand and moves back.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey returns from his audition and finds everyone but Phoebe there.]
Phoebe: Wait, what was that? That sounded like someone being nice to you.
Phoebe: No, whatever! Anything!
(Phoebe grabs each of them by an ear.) Monica and Rachel: Ow! Ow! Ow!
Phoebe: (muffled through the floor) Yeah, look I was with my friend downstairs and we hear everything up here that you do, and I am sick and tired... (I tired but the rest is unintelligible).
Phoebe: No! No! I-I meant for the baby!
Phoebe: Uh-huh, great story! I'm going!
Earl: Phoebe? The lady who sells toner?
Phoebe: Yes.
Phoebe: Umm, look it, you-you cant kill yourself.
Phoebe: No-no I cant! I cant let you do it!
Phoebe: I can smell it a little, bake the pie.
Phoebe: Sure! (Thinks.) Umm, where are you from?
Phoebe: Okay, well maybe not on those levels.
Phoebe: No, its fate!
Phoebe: No! I definitely don't wanna get married. No I just wanted to make sure you didn't want to too. Whew! Coz you know when we move in and you start changing your mind there's gonna be hell to pay mister!
Phoebe: And on my way over here, I stepped in gum. ...What is up with the universe?!
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
Phoebe: (turning around and picking a cup off of a table) Oh, hey, look, I found coffee! (handing her the cup) Okay, lets skedaddle.
Tag: Phoebe! Thats a great name.
Phoebe: Yeah, but you shouldnt compare yourself to me.
All: Come on Phoebe! You can do it Phoebe! Come on!
Phoebe: Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start. (she reads a note). My friend Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I... (Monica is twirling her hands in order to make Phoebe speed up her speech) oh I... hum... I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because... (Monica is tapping her watch with her finger) it's not important... she is in rehab. Anyway, so, ok, Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just brought, uhm, my Mike and, and (Monica clears her throat) but despite, you know... it got... it got good. Ok, I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here...
Phoebe: Yeah and yeah, and it would probably be better than the last telephone job I had. Yknow, I probably wouldnt have to say spank as much. (Monica and Ross are shocked.)
Ross and Joey: No-no-no-no-no. (They start to turn away, but Phoebe stops them, and turns them back to face her.)
Phoebe: Ooh, I have tasted my own medicine and it is bitter!
Phoebe: (getting out) Okay, whos next?
Phoebe: No, I really wanna live with you! I wanna move in with you!
Phoebe: Yeah, otherwise, I mean thats, thats, thats just it for us hanging out together. Y'know is that what you want? (they both look away) Can you be civil?
Phoebe: Really?! Cause yknow that hurts.
Phoebe: Least of all you.
Phoebe: Who are you kidding? (To Joey) You just find some guy off the street for me? Oh God! This is humiliating!
Phoebe: Happy thirtieth birthday! Here! (Hands her the hippity-hop.) Its for the child in you, and the woman. Happy thirtieth!
Phoebe: Yeah. What?!
Phoebe: You have your birth certificate?
Ursula: Yes! Phoebe.
Phoebe: Nu-uh!
Phoebe: Wait! (Knocks on the door and Ursula opens it.)
Phoebe: Our mom.
Phoebe: Thats my first name.
Phoebe: Ohh! All right! All right. Heres what well do, Ill get twice as drunk as Monica and then no ones will even notice her.
[Scene: The telemarketing office, Phoebe is still talking to Earl.]
Phoebe: Well, I never knew mine. Do you remember what it is?
Phoebe: Hey, whats going on?
(Phoebe approaches as they almost get to their room.)
PHOEBE: Yeah, I agree. Ya know, I think fancy parties are only fun if you're fancy on the inside and I'm just not sure we are.
Phoebe: Joey, shes so cool. She speaks four languages.
Phoebe: So what?! That doesnt give you the right to ditch me!
Phoebe: Okay, I can do that! Oh, by the way, I love my office.
Phoebe: God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! (Joey just shakes his head.) Joey, you can't say anything!
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Phoebe: Ooh, erotiery!
Phoebe: Oh yes, yes, yes you can. Just say, um, 'Phoebe, my work is my life and that's what I have to do right now'. And I say 'your work?! Your work?! How can you say that?!'. And then you say, um, 'it's tearing me apart, but I have no choice. Can't you understand that?'. And I say (Hits him) 'no! No! I can't understand that!'.
(Ross pans the camera over to Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Oh yeah.
PHOEBE: Listen if you wanna go, just go.
Phoebe: Oh! (Phoebe walks away smiling.)
Phoebe: No, no, no! Don't call her! You wait for her to call you (Joey considers it)
Phoebe: You did the right thing.
Phoebe: Oooh, yeah. Youre a genius.
Phoebe: Why? It's fun, it's different, no-one else has a name like it.
Phoebe: No, I can't talk to you! I don't have a fancy ad in the Yellow Pages!
Chandler: I just think that things would go a lot smoother if we each have our own zone. Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping. And yknow Mon, you can be in charge of diapering and I can be in charge of looking how cute they are when they put their hands around (He degrades into baby talk, but he means when they grab his finger.)
Phoebe: Yeah? Why?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is pouring Rachel some coffee.]
[Scene: Max and David's lab, they are working. Phoebe knocks on the door]
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch in Central Perk]
Phoebe: Okay, woo! Hi.
Phoebe: Ohh, he left his cell phone.
Phoebe: I dont know.
Phoebe: A stripper at a bachelor party, that is so clich�. Why don't you get a magician?!
Phoebe: Nice try.
Chandler: Phoebe, we can hear the dog barking!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are there as Monica enters with the local paper that has the engagement picture in it.]
Phoebe: Oh! Oop! (Hands him back the ring.)
The Fireman: The next time you want to dump a fire alarm in a trash chute, dont wrap it in a blanket that says, "Property of Phoebe Buffay not Monica."
Joey: (whispers to Phoebe and Rachel) Hey, thank you so much. (They both exit.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are recovering from Ross's rebuke.]
Phoebe: Did I use that already today? Im sorry.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are returning from the strip club.]
Phoebe: Okay, I hear you! Are you capable of talking about any thing else?
Phoebe: Okay, a meat eater. Fine, thats one for you.
Rachel: (showing Phoebe her phone) His new girlfriend!
Phoebe: Good.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: No I didnt!
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: Ooh, now you lost me.
Rachel: Phoebe!
Phoebe: No.
Phoebe: That is a different phone.
Rachel: Phoebe! You cant do th
Rachel: Oh Phoebe!
Phoebe: What?! Thats the first time today!
Phoebe: Oh? And how will you know what time to come over?
PHOEBE: I know who it is you remind me of. Evelyn Dermer. 'Course, that's before she got the lousy face lift. Now she looks like Soupy Sales.
Phoebe: Yes, while I was in the chair! Thats why I take such good care of my teeth now, y'know, its not about oral hygiene, I floss to save lives!
Phoebe: Hey, so? Are you gonna do it?
Phoebe: Wh-what do we do?
Phoebe: Because its my apartment!