words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Joey is there as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: What you got?
Phoebe: Goodie! Thanks. So, how is it living with Rachel again? I mean, apart from the great food.
Phoebe: Oh my god, Rachel asked me if I knew anyone for her too.
Phoebe: I don't know. They're so perfect for each other; it's crazy.
Phoebe: I just wish they'd realise they should be together.
Phoebe: I know. They should be a family. They should get married and have more children.
Phoebe: You know what? Maybe once they start dating, and they see what's out there, they'll realise how good they are for each other.
Phoebe: So, what are we gonna do? Are we just gonna go ahead and set them up with people?
Phoebe: Yeah. (BEAT) Oh, I know what we can do. We could set Ross and Rachel up on horrible dates, so that they'll realise how good they are together.
Phoebe: Yeah, you know what the best part of it is? I get to do my "plan-laugh." (A maniacal laugh follows.)
Rachel: Well, Phoebe set me up on a date.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is drinking coffee by the counter as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Ooh, Joey.
Phoebe: Hey. I'm so excited; I just set up Rachel with the worst guy tonight.
Phoebe: Well, it's this guy I used to massage. And by massage, I mean hold down so he wouldn't turn over and flash me.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah.
Phoebe: A teacher?
Phoebe: Well, Ross does. What... You're - you're ruining the plan! Joey, you've - you've fixed him up with his perfect woman!
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: How do you even know a woman like that?
Phoebe: Joey.
Phoebe: So now what do we do?
Phoebe: What if we don't find him somebody else? We'll just tell her the date's off, but we don't tell Ross, and he goes to the restaurant and gets stood up!
Phoebe: Ooh, so this is great! Rachel's gonna have a terrible date, Ross gets stood up, and then they'll realise how good they have it together.
Phoebe: It's not Santa's plan. No, it's... (Laughs the real "plan-laugh.")
Phoebe: No, I think we killed it.
Rachel: Well, come on, Steve; let's not rule out nervous laughter. Hey, now wait a minute. Phoebe told me that - that you owned your own restaurant. That's impressive.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Joey are there. Phoebe's cell phone rings.]
Phoebe: Hello?
Rachel: Phoebe, it's me. I'm going to hunt you down and kill you!
Phoebe: Hey, Rach!
Phoebe: You know, you are talking about one of my dear, dear friends.
Phoebe: Oh, right, so he gets a little crazy when he's stoned.
Phoebe: Did he go out for a cigarette?
Phoebe: My dear, sweet Rach.
Phoebe (to Joey): Well, our plan is working. Rachel is having a miserable time, and Ross is just stood up somewhere at a restaurant all alone.
Phoebe: By the time anyone's figured out what we've done, we'll be in sunny Mexico. (BEAT) Oh, wait, that's the end of a different plan.
[Cut to outside. Phoebe and Joey are walking down the street to Central Perk.]
Phoebe: Now, wait a minute. So, they're gonna name their first child Joey?
Phoebe: How - how do I get them to name the next one after me?
Phoebe: Oh, so they owe me like, three Phoebes.
(Phoebe sees Rachel and Ross through the window.)
Phoebe: Oh my god! Look, it's Ross and Rachel. Oh, the plan is working.
Phoebe: Don't, don't do the plan-laugh.
Rachel: Oh. Huh. You know, it is weird that Phoebe would set me up on a date that was awful on the same night that Joey set you up on a date that didn't even show.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, they're falling in love all over again.
(Rachel and Ross turn around and look at Phoebe and Joey with puzzled expressions on their faces.)
Phoebe: Oh, they see us! Oh, they, they look mad. Oh, they figured it out. They're coming this way. Run!
Phoebe: Mexico!
Phoebe: Oh! Okay! Yeah, thats okay. (To Patrick) Have a seat. (Sits Patrick down next to Rachel.)
PHOEBE: OK. I just met this producer of this like, teeny record company, who said that I have a very fresh, offbeat sound and she wants to do a demo of Smelly Cat.
(And with that, an era ends as Chandler moves in with Monica as Rachel moves in with Phoebe. It tis a sad and happy time for Friends.)
Phoebe: Rachel?
Phoebe: Are you kidding?
Phoebe: Oh, God!
Phoebe: Oh God no, I don't wanna see him take his clothes off!
Mike: Look, if Phoebe wants to marry David, she should, I'm not gonna stand in the way of that and neither should you.
Phoebe: I gotta call him. Just to talk to him, there's no harm in that.
Phoebe: Three hundred dollars, are you kidding?
Phoebe: This is how I look when I'm turned on!
Phoebe: Shocking!
[Scene: The Hallway, Phoebe comes up the stairs and hears drumming coming from Joey and Rachel's, so she enters smiling and then sees that Rachel, not Joey, is the one playing.]
Monica: (walks towards Phoebe and the stripper) Uh, look, officer... uhm Sir...
Phoebe: I don't care. We're not paying you 300 dollars for this.
Phoebe: I'm sorry, did you say all man or old man?
Phoebe: Hey everybody, Rachel was so good today. She didn't gossip at all.
Phoebe: Yes. We're here to make a rather sizeable donation to the children.
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Phoebe are sitting ignoring each other. Rachel walks up with two pieces of cake.]
Phoebe: A real man wouldnt just run to the hospital! (They dont stop.) No! What would, what would Krog do? (They ignore her and Phoebe is left alone.)
Monica: Phoebe, it's not what you wear. It's sort of your songs... I just don't think you should play at the restaurant anymore.
Phoebe: Wait, (grabs him) you know what, I got a little story. When I was in Junior High School I went through this period where I thought I was a witch. And there was this guidance counselor who said something to me, that I think will help you a lot. He said okay, 'you're not a witch you're just an average student.' See what I'm saying?
Monica: You're the most incredible woman I've ever met. How can I lose you? (Phoebe looks very flattered) Now, I don't actually have a ring...
Phoebe: You know, it's fine. We'll pay you.
Rachel: (to Phoebe) Really?
Phoebe: Wow! Five-month maternity leave, you're back for four days, kiss a co-worker, call in sick, they are lucky to have you!!
Phoebe: There you go. Okay, do you think you're gonna be okay?
Phoebe: Your last dance. Do it for us.
Phoebe: Oh no, no, no, don't stop!
Phoebe: Hold it! (Grabs the badge) N.Y.P.D! Freeze punk!
Phoebe: And to knowing that your career doesn't mean everything. (Rachel mouths "aah")
Monica: She and Phoebe took the stripper to the hospital.
Phoebe: Like a date type (looks at Rachel) person?
Phoebe: Ok, you can do this. It's just like pulling off a Band-aid. Just do it really fast, and then the wound is exposed.
(Monica sets the soup down and Phoebe picks it up and licks the rim.)
Phoebe: Oh, hey Joey.
Phoebe: So... what do you say?
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey's sitting on the couch and Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: Well, I don't care, so you pick!
Phoebe: Ok.
Phoebe: Uh-uh. Ok. What time is that.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: She did? Why?
Phoebe: Okay, what did we say was your one gift to us?
Phoebe: So Rach.
Phoebe: Rehearse it!
Ross: Hi! (he kisses Phoebe)
Phoebe: Where is Emma?
Phoebe: What's up?
Phoebe: Uhm... well, they're not in the wedding.
Phoebe: Oh! I though the pot stickers were supposed to be vegetarian!
Phoebe: I don't have a fax machine.
[Scene: The Funeral Home, continued from earlier. Phoebe is returning after looking for her father.]
Phoebe: All right, there are no questions in the happy place. Okay, just, the warm breeze, and the moonlight flowing through the trees....
(Cut to Chandler and Ross. Phoebe comes out of the ladies room and they run toward her.)
Phoebe: I decided to pee.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is there and is getting ready to direct a bunch of strippers, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe on what to do in the upcoming orgy of lesbian lust. Yes, its a dream sequence, this isnt cable.]
Jason: (to Phoebe) I-I cant believe this! You-youve slept with him?!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: YOU'RE FIRED! (mimes the CUT again) (pause and she raises her glass) Cheers! (Chandler raises his, smiling and Monica stares at him and he puts down his glass.)
Phoebe: Listen to this! My reading was wrong, Im not going die!
Phoebe: That’s it? That’s why you won’t go out with her again? So, she took some fries, big deal!
Phoebe: Oh, happy my wedding day to you!
Phoebe: I’m sorry, I can’t believe I set you up with such a MONSTER!
PHOEBE: Well, 'cause, I mean, what if, what if he's not this great dad guy? I mean, what if, what if he's just still the dirtbag who ran out on my mom and us? You know what? I've already lost a fake dad this week and I don't think I'm ready to lose a real one.
Phoebe: You won awards?
Phoebe: Wow, this is a lot!
Phoebe: Right there! That's why I'm marrying you!
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Oh my God, what's it doing here?
Phoebe: (to Monica) Help me.
(Cut to Phoebe who is in the living room, still on the phone.)
Phoebe: (Nearly in tears) Please?
Phoebe: I want you to be Crazy Bitch again.
Phoebe: More than I wanna get married.
Phoebe: I know.
Phoebe: (sounds scared already) About what?
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Okay, okay, but Rachels gonna be here too, cant I just ask her this stuff?
Phoebe: (Turning to Mike) What do you think?
Phoebe: Me too! (turning to Monica) Monica, do you think we could do it?
(Monica leaves and Phoebe closes the door behind her and tries to lock it.)
Phoebe: Oh, thank you.
Phoebe: I love you guys.
Phoebe: All right. Well, don't worry, I call shotgun! (She starts out the door.)
Phoebe: Uhuh, uhuh... Oh my God! This is really happening.
Phoebe: Yeah. I was just in there. He introduced himself and the next thing I know, were making out. You know.
Phoebe: Quite an interesting turn of events, suddenly its my book to the rescue, huh? (Reading her book) Ooh, very interesting. Yeah, well this certainly clears things up.
Phoebe: Oh wait, oh no. Wait.
Joey: I promise. And that means, never having to give a reason. (Phoebe stops herself from laughing and leaves)
Phoebe: (nervously) Okay.
Phoebe: Thank you.
Phoebe: Na-ah.
(Sarah picks up some fries from Joey’s plate and Joey looks very angry. Then we’re back to Central Perk and Joey does a you-see-what-I-mean look to Phoebe)
Joey: (whispering to Phoebe) Okay...
Phoebe: I do.
(Phoebe and Mike kiss)
Phoebe: No! There-there was a little, a little diff in the market and I lost 13 million dollars.
Phoebe: Hi