words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Joey is there as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: What you got?
Phoebe: Goodie! Thanks. So, how is it living with Rachel again? I mean, apart from the great food.
Phoebe: Oh my god, Rachel asked me if I knew anyone for her too.
Phoebe: I don't know. They're so perfect for each other; it's crazy.
Phoebe: I just wish they'd realise they should be together.
Phoebe: I know. They should be a family. They should get married and have more children.
Phoebe: You know what? Maybe once they start dating, and they see what's out there, they'll realise how good they are for each other.
Phoebe: So, what are we gonna do? Are we just gonna go ahead and set them up with people?
Phoebe: Yeah. (BEAT) Oh, I know what we can do. We could set Ross and Rachel up on horrible dates, so that they'll realise how good they are together.
Phoebe: Yeah, you know what the best part of it is? I get to do my "plan-laugh." (A maniacal laugh follows.)
Rachel: Well, Phoebe set me up on a date.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is drinking coffee by the counter as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Ooh, Joey.
Phoebe: Hey. I'm so excited; I just set up Rachel with the worst guy tonight.
Phoebe: Well, it's this guy I used to massage. And by massage, I mean hold down so he wouldn't turn over and flash me.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah.
Phoebe: A teacher?
Phoebe: Well, Ross does. What... You're - you're ruining the plan! Joey, you've - you've fixed him up with his perfect woman!
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: How do you even know a woman like that?
Phoebe: Joey.
Phoebe: So now what do we do?
Phoebe: What if we don't find him somebody else? We'll just tell her the date's off, but we don't tell Ross, and he goes to the restaurant and gets stood up!
Phoebe: Ooh, so this is great! Rachel's gonna have a terrible date, Ross gets stood up, and then they'll realise how good they have it together.
Phoebe: It's not Santa's plan. No, it's... (Laughs the real "plan-laugh.")
Phoebe: No, I think we killed it.
Rachel: Well, come on, Steve; let's not rule out nervous laughter. Hey, now wait a minute. Phoebe told me that - that you owned your own restaurant. That's impressive.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Joey are there. Phoebe's cell phone rings.]
Phoebe: Hello?
Rachel: Phoebe, it's me. I'm going to hunt you down and kill you!
Phoebe: Hey, Rach!
Phoebe: You know, you are talking about one of my dear, dear friends.
Phoebe: Oh, right, so he gets a little crazy when he's stoned.
Phoebe: Did he go out for a cigarette?
Phoebe: My dear, sweet Rach.
Phoebe (to Joey): Well, our plan is working. Rachel is having a miserable time, and Ross is just stood up somewhere at a restaurant all alone.
Phoebe: By the time anyone's figured out what we've done, we'll be in sunny Mexico. (BEAT) Oh, wait, that's the end of a different plan.
[Cut to outside. Phoebe and Joey are walking down the street to Central Perk.]
Phoebe: Now, wait a minute. So, they're gonna name their first child Joey?
Phoebe: How - how do I get them to name the next one after me?
Phoebe: Oh, so they owe me like, three Phoebes.
(Phoebe sees Rachel and Ross through the window.)
Phoebe: Oh my god! Look, it's Ross and Rachel. Oh, the plan is working.
Phoebe: Don't, don't do the plan-laugh.
Rachel: Oh. Huh. You know, it is weird that Phoebe would set me up on a date that was awful on the same night that Joey set you up on a date that didn't even show.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, they're falling in love all over again.
(Rachel and Ross turn around and look at Phoebe and Joey with puzzled expressions on their faces.)
Phoebe: Oh, they see us! Oh, they, they look mad. Oh, they figured it out. They're coming this way. Run!
Phoebe: Mexico!
Phoebe: Great! Okay, good for you! (as they leave she slaps Rachel on the butt)
Phoebe: (walks him to the kitchen) Easy. Step. How did it get on?
Phoebe: All right. I gotta go. I have break up with Vince.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Oh my God! Monica's gonna totally freak out!
Phoebe: Already?!
Phoebe: Isnt it funny how we kept running into each other? Its as if someone really wants us to be together.
Phoebe: Please, dont play the music. Just uh one more. LIVE FROM NEW YORK! ITS SATURDAY NIGHT!!
[Chandler tries to warn Phoebe that the woman is coming on to her, but Phoebe doesn't see him.]
[cut to Phoebe and Rachel as Monica returns from the bathroom]
Phoebe: So you do know who he is! (laughs, Ross stares at her) Sorry.
Monica: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: (noticing a guy sitting by the green post looking at her) Oh wait a second you guys for the last couple weeks Ive been that guy everywhere I go. We take the same bus. We go to the same bookstore, the same dry cleaners; maybe hes the tea guy. (He gets up to leave, and smiles at Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Yes!
Monica: (to Phoebe) You know it's funny, the last time Paulo was here, my hair was so much shorter and cuter.
Phoebe: All right, stop it. Now youre just doing it to freak me out.
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Chandler and Monica are sitting on the couch. Phoebe and Mike enters.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Wow! See, and I didn't think you'd be able to come up with anything.
Monica: Hey, come on, Phoebe, you understand dont you?
Phoebe: No, I mean you break up with Janice and I'll break up with Tony.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Thank you!
Phoebe: No, it's not supposed to be funny, it's supposed to be scary.
Phoebe: Yeah, I think we are.
Phoebe: I still cannot believe youre engaged! (Ross looks at her) Just cause its happening so fast; not cause youre such a loser.
Phoebe: Me too.
Phoebe: Me too.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Yay!
Phoebe: Im not gonna right to you! Thats not real!
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: I guess.
[Scene: Central Perk, the next night, Phoebe is finishing up her set.]
Phoebe: What is that?
Phoebe: Oh, how did it go?
Mike: Done it. (Phoebe becomes a little more subdued) I'll be back in a couple of hours.
Phoebe: What did he say?
Phoebe: Yeah, maybe.
Phoebe: Any luck?
Phoebe: Oh sure, Cilantro Larry.
Phoebe: What?! Monica, Im scared!!
Phoebe: Not after this!
Phoebe: What-whats up?
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Rachel: Ugh. (She goes over and lays her head on Phoebes lap.)
Phoebe: Joey, you can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Believe me, there's something I've been trying to get Mike to do in bed and there's... he's just...
Phoebe: Well alright, looks like you guys have got it under control so Im just gonna go. (She gets up and Rachel looks at her, upset, and Monica just stares.) No! Really? Misery really does love company. All right! (She sits back down.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is coming out of the living room carrying his salad and a puzzlebeer! Cold beer. And he decides to fold up Phoebes massage table, but being Ross has trouble with it as there is a knock on the door. He sets the table back up and opens the door to reveal a beautiful woman.]
Phoebe: I'll have to get back to you on that. Okay, bye! (Hangs up.) Oh my God! He wants me to come over and feel his bicep and more!
Phoebe: Come on! Let us be guys! Maybe we want to be guys!
Phoebe: Oh my God Monica!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is entering, Rachel and Phoebe are already there.]
PHOEBE: Yeah, eight of them. That's 56 to him. You know also, if, if it's raining, you can't let him look up too long 'cause that cone'll fill up really really fast.
PHOEBE: Well, no no, you have to stay back. I, I have the pox.
Phoebe: Oh, this is terrible. Oh, theyve made so many changes I cant even feel my grandmothers presence anymoreOoh! New sconces!
(Phoebe buttons her lip, while the rest of the gang pretend theyre not there.)
(Both Chandler and Phoebe have shocked looks on their faces.)
Phoebe: Remembered what?
PHOEBE: OK, who is the boss of you?!!
Monica: Phoebe! But I could take one of those little feet and put it in a pita pocket.
Monica: It will be my pleasure. (to Phoebe) My guy has diplomatic coupons. Your guy cant even say coupons. (they leave)
Phoebe: Thats the same month as Halloween. So, um, what kinda things do you like to do at home?
Phoebe: Ohhh, I wanna come over there and give you a hug and wish you luck on your wedding, but I dontcant get up.
Phoebe: Hey! So you guys have anything planned for the big last night?
Phoebe: See, he's her lobster.
Phoebe: (angrily) Thats like the tenth time Ive peed since Ive been here!
Phoebe: Ooh, hey, could we put on the news? I think it might be raining.
Mrs. Potter: Phoebe, we have rules here, this isnt that kind of place.
Phoebe: I knew it! Because you love Rachel.
Phoebe: (starting to cry) Thank you so much.
Phoebe: (to her babies) Stop it!
Phoebe: I just talked him into it, dont tell me I have to do you too. The puppet master gets tired people.
Phoebe: One of the babies is kicking.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is finishing up a song.]
Monica: The baby shower for Phoebe!
Phoebe: Oh wait! That can't be the one Rachel's talking about. She didn't even know that happened. So which one was it?
Phoebe: Okay, I didnt hear that.
Phoebe: Yeah well, once again not knocking pays off. I only wish you hadnt been on the toilet.
Phoebe: Now I know that they said that the umm, the hair straightener started the fire but I think Im partly at fault. You see, I didnt, I didnt tell you but umm, but I-I had recently refilled the tissues and so yknow lets just face it, thats just kindling! So I think its better that I stay at Joeys.
Monica: Hi Phoebe.
Phoebe: Hi, guys.
Phoebe: Alrighty, here come the water works. (Rachel starts crying harder.)
DR. BURKE: Hi Phoebe, nice to meet you. [Phoebe just giggles when they shake] So, how ya been?
Phoebe: Oh!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is being triple teamed.]
Phoebe: Okay. (He grabs his gun and shoots the bird.) Oh! Oh no.
Phoebe: Umm, well I had a similar problem when I lived in Prague.
[Scene: Phoebes Work, Ross is now trying to stop Jasmine from telling Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Okay! It's worth it, if it will get you moving. You haven't worked in months.
MONICA: No, no, not a party. Just a surprise gathering of some people Rachel knows. Um, this is Phoebe and Chandler and Joey.
Rachel: (not sure of what to do) Yknow what? I dont, I dont think Phoebe really wants to come.
Phoebe: Yeah, okay.
Phoebe: Thanks you guys! Again.
[Time Lapse: the crowd has left and only Mona, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are still watching to see who will be able to move the others arm first. An event that has yet to happen.]
Phoebe: They are gonna love me.
PHOEBE: Hi Gram. Whatcha doin'?
Phoebe: Yeah, you're right. This is none of our business.