words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Joey is there as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: What you got?
Phoebe: Goodie! Thanks. So, how is it living with Rachel again? I mean, apart from the great food.
Phoebe: Oh my god, Rachel asked me if I knew anyone for her too.
Phoebe: I don't know. They're so perfect for each other; it's crazy.
Phoebe: I just wish they'd realise they should be together.
Phoebe: I know. They should be a family. They should get married and have more children.
Phoebe: You know what? Maybe once they start dating, and they see what's out there, they'll realise how good they are for each other.
Phoebe: So, what are we gonna do? Are we just gonna go ahead and set them up with people?
Phoebe: Yeah. (BEAT) Oh, I know what we can do. We could set Ross and Rachel up on horrible dates, so that they'll realise how good they are together.
Phoebe: Yeah, you know what the best part of it is? I get to do my "plan-laugh." (A maniacal laugh follows.)
Rachel: Well, Phoebe set me up on a date.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is drinking coffee by the counter as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Ooh, Joey.
Phoebe: Hey. I'm so excited; I just set up Rachel with the worst guy tonight.
Phoebe: Well, it's this guy I used to massage. And by massage, I mean hold down so he wouldn't turn over and flash me.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah.
Phoebe: A teacher?
Phoebe: Well, Ross does. What... You're - you're ruining the plan! Joey, you've - you've fixed him up with his perfect woman!
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: How do you even know a woman like that?
Phoebe: Joey.
Phoebe: So now what do we do?
Phoebe: What if we don't find him somebody else? We'll just tell her the date's off, but we don't tell Ross, and he goes to the restaurant and gets stood up!
Phoebe: Ooh, so this is great! Rachel's gonna have a terrible date, Ross gets stood up, and then they'll realise how good they have it together.
Phoebe: It's not Santa's plan. No, it's... (Laughs the real "plan-laugh.")
Phoebe: No, I think we killed it.
Rachel: Well, come on, Steve; let's not rule out nervous laughter. Hey, now wait a minute. Phoebe told me that - that you owned your own restaurant. That's impressive.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Joey are there. Phoebe's cell phone rings.]
Phoebe: Hello?
Rachel: Phoebe, it's me. I'm going to hunt you down and kill you!
Phoebe: Hey, Rach!
Phoebe: You know, you are talking about one of my dear, dear friends.
Phoebe: Oh, right, so he gets a little crazy when he's stoned.
Phoebe: Did he go out for a cigarette?
Phoebe: My dear, sweet Rach.
Phoebe (to Joey): Well, our plan is working. Rachel is having a miserable time, and Ross is just stood up somewhere at a restaurant all alone.
Phoebe: By the time anyone's figured out what we've done, we'll be in sunny Mexico. (BEAT) Oh, wait, that's the end of a different plan.
[Cut to outside. Phoebe and Joey are walking down the street to Central Perk.]
Phoebe: Now, wait a minute. So, they're gonna name their first child Joey?
Phoebe: How - how do I get them to name the next one after me?
Phoebe: Oh, so they owe me like, three Phoebes.
(Phoebe sees Rachel and Ross through the window.)
Phoebe: Oh my god! Look, it's Ross and Rachel. Oh, the plan is working.
Phoebe: Don't, don't do the plan-laugh.
Rachel: Oh. Huh. You know, it is weird that Phoebe would set me up on a date that was awful on the same night that Joey set you up on a date that didn't even show.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, they're falling in love all over again.
(Rachel and Ross turn around and look at Phoebe and Joey with puzzled expressions on their faces.)
Phoebe: Oh, they see us! Oh, they, they look mad. Oh, they figured it out. They're coming this way. Run!
Phoebe: Mexico!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe and Rachel are watching TV as Joey enters.]
Phoebe: Oh yeah, come here. (Puts a little wax on Joeys arm and puts a strip on it.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is playing his music. Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Phoebe: Shiny.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, and Chandler are sitting on the couch and chair as Phoebe is getting coffee.]
Phoebe: Why?!
PHOEBE: What? Is it - is this 'cause of what Ross said?
Phoebe: (smiles) Show me the badge again.
Phoebe: But no, because a doctor wont be able to help him, its just gonna yknow naturally pass through his system in like seven years.
Phoebe: (excited) Shut it down.
Phoebe: Yeah, her first day on a new spiritual plane and she's gonna come to the coffeehouse!
Phoebe: Oh yknow whats sadder than this? Bambi. I cried for three days with that movie. No wait two! Because on the third day my mother killed herself so I was partly crying for that.
Vince: Phoebe, Phoebe relax, its okay. I mean we never said this was exclusive.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]
Phoebe: So listen, you know my friend Chris who owns the crematorium?
Rachel: No, no Phoebe no, I was...no. You know what, I was, I was actually just checking to, see, if I could run. And I can!
Phoebe: Enh. Sure!
Phoebe: Ooh, absolutely!
Phoebe: Because, every time I go to the dentist, somebody dies.
Phoebe: Well, it helps the bee look tough in front of his bee friends. The bee is happy and I am definitely not.
Phoebe: Yeah, it's Y'know there'sno you may not!
Phoebe: Yeah. I really hate to give her up. Oh, I know!! Oh, you should take her!
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, first there was my aunt Mary, and then there was umm, John, my mailman, and then my, my cowboy friend Albino Bob.
Phoebe: Well its only like my favorite bay! {Actually, its not bad. It just gets a little cold in winter, but in Wisconsin winter only lasts from August to June. J }
Phoebe: No Chandler, they can swallow one of those little parts! And also, look at his smooth area, thats just gonna mess them up.
Phoebe: (to the player) Hi.
Phoebe: Ah! Well! There you go! Last to know again! And I'm guessing... since nobody told me... this is Paolo.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Phoebe, and Chandler are there.]
Joey: That's way uptown! That's like three trains away! (Phoebe pinches him.) Which is great! I love to ride that rail!
Phoebe: No...I really wanted to know how you feel about it.
Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel: (turning to look at Joey) Ewwww!!
Phoebe: What am I sitting on?
Phoebe: Okay, don't worry, I'm just checking to see if the muscle's in spasm...huh.
Phoebe: (entering, with Julio) Hi. (sits down in the chair)
[Cut to the elevator lobby, Phoebe walks up and sees a man in a wheelchair with his broken leg extended.]
Phoebe: No, no maybe cause its harder to raise them, and the added expense, and
Monica: Hey, Phoebe!
Phoebe: Well, I'm not going in first. I bet that vein on Monica's forehead is popping like crazy.
Monica: Ok people, we are back in business! (Gets her headset out of her purse) Oh God, we've missed you soo much! (takes all the notes from Phoebe) Ok, go and get your hair and make-up done, and I'll take care of everything.
Phoebe: Well, I mean, Im not my sisters, you know, whatever, and um... I mean, its true, we were one egg, once, but err, you know, weve grown apart, so, um... I dont know, why not? Okay.
Monica: Phoebe?
Chandler: Yeah, listen. Okay, before you do anything Joey-like, you might wanna run it by err... (he indicates Phoebe, who is helping Ross understand the remote control.)
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: We didnt fool around with any of them. Dwha! Dwha!
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Sorry I'm late, but I left late.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) You completely stole my answer!
Phoebe: Okay then.
Phoebe: Theres a reset button?! Ugh, thank you! Thank you! (He exits and she goes to shut it off.) Theres a reset button! My God! Why didnt I see that! (She takes off the plastic cover and looks for the button.) Reset button, reset button, where is there a reset button? (Finds it.) Oh here it is! (Picks it up off of the floor.) Oh! (She presses it hard, but of course it would help if the button was still attached to the detector. In frustration she presses it so hard it causes pain in her thumb.) Ohh, God!
Phoebe: Well how would you know?! You didn't even read it!
Phoebe: Yeah?
Ross: (entering) Phoebe!
Phoebe: Ok, well that's bad. But don't you think it might be different with someone else? Perhaps a blonde who always uses a toilet. Except for once in the ocean.
Phoebe: Good. Oh oh! Roger's having a dinner thing and he wanted me to invite you guys.
Phoebe: And the big ones for me!
Phoebe: Well, yeah! Fun is good, but y'know I also wanted to learn. Y'know, people are always talking about what they learned in high school and I never went to high school.
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: What?
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's class; Rachel walks in, on time this time.]
Phoebe: No! You should've read it yourself!
Phoebe: Yeah, this book was light years ahead of its time.
Joey: Look Phoebe I'm so sorry! Hey, look, if you don't like this guy I can find you a better one. (Looks around) Mike!! Mike!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler are sitting at a table. Rachel is working. Monica and Phoebe enter.]
Phoebe: Good! Good! Five points!
Phoebe: What's going on?
Phoebe: I really thought you making a good point. I mean y'know, until you got cut off.
Phoebe: Look everyone, its the spirit of Thanksgiving!
Phoebe: I knew I should have married Chandler.
Phoebe: I don't know! I didn't come with her!
Phoebe: Look, Precious... Mike's not worth this. You're an attractive, intelligent woman and let's face it, Mike's kind of a wang. I mean, he proposed to me while he was still seeing you... He was gonna break-up with you on your birthday? And, I don't like to kiss-and-tell, but he cheated on you a lot this weekend.
PHOEBE: You know, what I think is so great that you are totally into this person and yet for all you know she could be like 90 years old, or have two heads, or. It could be a guy.
Phoebe: I wouldn't say never, you know there's that guy (pause) well what about (pause) ok well there's gotta be someone.
Phoebe: Yeah, you are. And I'm so glad that you fought your way back in, because I don't know what I would do without you.
Phoebe: Hey you guys, guess what?
Phoebe: Well, Ive got to get out of this bed, Im going crazy here. Crazy!
Phoebe: Fine. (She hands her bell to Ginger and starts to take down her signs.) (The same old lady walks by again.) All right, I'll give you one pointer. Look out for that bitch. (The old lady.)
Phoebe: Ok. Oh good, I'm dating a Russian cab driver. (to the shop assistant). Seriously does anyone buy this? I smell like beets!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Well, it's going okay.
Monica: (Walking in from off screen.) Phoebe!
Phoebe: Wow!
Phoebe: Oh, thanks!
Phoebe: Wait, you can't take the money out.
Phoebe: Thank you! And Happy Holidays.
Phoebe: Okay, can you really tapdance?
Phoebe: Well, I snapped! Okay? You weren't taking the class seriously.
Phoebe: Okay, this is where you and I part ways. (She drops the blanket into the chute.) Noisy bitch!
Joey: Phoebe, could you do me a favour? Could you try this on? I just wanna make sure it fits.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel folding and packing clothes in suitcases as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: That game should not be played without my supervision.
Phoebe: Oh no! No no! Not at all. We're just moving in right now. See where it goes.
Phoebe: We could eat the wax! Its organic.
Phoebe: (opens her bedroom door and peeks out) Hey, is Chandler here?
Phoebe: Thank you, Happy Holidays.
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Or you can do volunteer work.
Phoebe: Okay! (Gets into position) Okay, ready?
Joey: Umm, now uh Its a scary world out there, especially for a single mom. Yknow, now I always thought you and I had a special bond so (He goes to one knee and pulls out a ring.) Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
Phoebe: That chick can't handle my corner.
(Phoebe and Mike look at him, and he goes over to the counter.)
Monica: Hi Amanda! Actually now... it’s... is not a good time. Dinner tomorrow night? (Phoebe mouths 'no') Ok, Phoebe and I will see you then!