words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Joey is there as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: What you got?
Phoebe: Goodie! Thanks. So, how is it living with Rachel again? I mean, apart from the great food.
Phoebe: Oh my god, Rachel asked me if I knew anyone for her too.
Phoebe: I don't know. They're so perfect for each other; it's crazy.
Phoebe: I just wish they'd realise they should be together.
Phoebe: I know. They should be a family. They should get married and have more children.
Phoebe: You know what? Maybe once they start dating, and they see what's out there, they'll realise how good they are for each other.
Phoebe: So, what are we gonna do? Are we just gonna go ahead and set them up with people?
Phoebe: Yeah. (BEAT) Oh, I know what we can do. We could set Ross and Rachel up on horrible dates, so that they'll realise how good they are together.
Phoebe: Yeah, you know what the best part of it is? I get to do my "plan-laugh." (A maniacal laugh follows.)
Rachel: Well, Phoebe set me up on a date.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is drinking coffee by the counter as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Ooh, Joey.
Phoebe: Hey. I'm so excited; I just set up Rachel with the worst guy tonight.
Phoebe: Well, it's this guy I used to massage. And by massage, I mean hold down so he wouldn't turn over and flash me.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah.
Phoebe: A teacher?
Phoebe: Well, Ross does. What... You're - you're ruining the plan! Joey, you've - you've fixed him up with his perfect woman!
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: How do you even know a woman like that?
Phoebe: Joey.
Phoebe: So now what do we do?
Phoebe: What if we don't find him somebody else? We'll just tell her the date's off, but we don't tell Ross, and he goes to the restaurant and gets stood up!
Phoebe: Ooh, so this is great! Rachel's gonna have a terrible date, Ross gets stood up, and then they'll realise how good they have it together.
Phoebe: It's not Santa's plan. No, it's... (Laughs the real "plan-laugh.")
Phoebe: No, I think we killed it.
Rachel: Well, come on, Steve; let's not rule out nervous laughter. Hey, now wait a minute. Phoebe told me that - that you owned your own restaurant. That's impressive.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Joey are there. Phoebe's cell phone rings.]
Phoebe: Hello?
Rachel: Phoebe, it's me. I'm going to hunt you down and kill you!
Phoebe: Hey, Rach!
Phoebe: You know, you are talking about one of my dear, dear friends.
Phoebe: Oh, right, so he gets a little crazy when he's stoned.
Phoebe: Did he go out for a cigarette?
Phoebe: My dear, sweet Rach.
Phoebe (to Joey): Well, our plan is working. Rachel is having a miserable time, and Ross is just stood up somewhere at a restaurant all alone.
Phoebe: By the time anyone's figured out what we've done, we'll be in sunny Mexico. (BEAT) Oh, wait, that's the end of a different plan.
[Cut to outside. Phoebe and Joey are walking down the street to Central Perk.]
Phoebe: Now, wait a minute. So, they're gonna name their first child Joey?
Phoebe: How - how do I get them to name the next one after me?
Phoebe: Oh, so they owe me like, three Phoebes.
(Phoebe sees Rachel and Ross through the window.)
Phoebe: Oh my god! Look, it's Ross and Rachel. Oh, the plan is working.
Phoebe: Don't, don't do the plan-laugh.
Rachel: Oh. Huh. You know, it is weird that Phoebe would set me up on a date that was awful on the same night that Joey set you up on a date that didn't even show.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, they're falling in love all over again.
(Rachel and Ross turn around and look at Phoebe and Joey with puzzled expressions on their faces.)
Phoebe: Oh, they see us! Oh, they, they look mad. Oh, they figured it out. They're coming this way. Run!
Phoebe: Mexico!
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Please!
Phoebe: Dead. (everyone is a bit upset) Oh, it's OK, no, he was old, yeah! And he lived a full life, he was in the first wave at Omaha Beach.
Phoebe: You think you know me so well.
Phoebe: Ross, could we please, please, please listen to anything else?
Phoebe: Thats what I said.
Phoebe: Oh hey, Monica, I heard you saw Donald Trump at your convention.
(Phoebe runs in and joins her.)
Joey: (to Phoebe) Wow, that was kinda brutal.
Phoebe: Oh, I cursed it. So now bad things will happen to he who spends it.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah!
Phoebe: Yeah, well, everybody does! Im a really cool person. And y'know you had 29 years to find that out, but you didnt even try! Y'know what, you walked out on me, and Im just, Im gonna do the same thing to you.
PHOEBE: Hi Rob Dohnen.
[Scene: The rest stop, Phoebes pulling in.]
Phoebe: Never mind, I got it.
Phoebe: I know. This is really, really huge.
Phoebe: (to Paulo) Ok, you're gonna have to not touch my ass.
PHOEBE: Oh. Well is she, is she the first that you've been with?
Phoebe: (to Rachel, whos staying in the cab.) Arent you gonna go?
Ross: (holds up a hand) Little girl misses her cat. (hold up the other hand) Crazy lady thinks her mother is in a cat. (gets up) Okay, y'know what, I have to go have dinner with my son, can I trust that when you see Phoebe, you will tell her.
Phoebe: Okay, dont give me a reason to get mad, okay
Phoebe: Hey, how'd it go?
Phoebe: Ewww! Oh! Its the Mattress King!
Phoebe: (to Leslie) Oh, I thought you werent coming. What? Where were you?
Chandler: Hello Phoebe, I've been thinking about you all day. (He's holding the phone so that Monica can hear it as well.)
(He hugs her. Phoebe enters.)
Phoebe: Well, personally I think it's great you're giving yourself a break.
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: What is this?
Phoebe: No it's just that I got this new pager and I have it on vibrate. See ya!
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Okay, yeah, so it's not gonna work.
Phoebe: I cant! I cant! Unless Well are you saying that-that you would move out if-if I didnt buy that lamp?
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: Ohh, well, you're my lucky penny.
Phoebe and Monica: Hey.
Phoebe: But look Chandler, right now, no one has a lower opinion of you than I do. But I totally believe you can do this.
Phoebe: Oh, Rachel and I have appointments to get our hair cut.
Phoebe: Monica your remote doesn't work.
PHOEBE: Oh God, here we go. For the first time in my life I'm gonna say 'Hi birthfather'.
Phoebe: Good. Yknowno-no, okay, its-it feels like everythings been about me lately, so whats happening with you?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, he clipped on, he said call him as soon as you get a chance, hes at Flimbys.
Phoebe: No, y'know what dont close it (Rachel slams the door shut locking themselves out.) cause the... keys...are in there.
Phoebe: Look out, incoming pumpkin pie!
Monica: Phoebe! Come on Im serious! I just got to talk to him about all this.
Monica: All right, Phoebe get open. Rachel, go long.
Phoebe: (to Monica, whos entering) Hey, youre early.
Phoebe: Alright, Ill try, fine! Yes, Okay!
(Monica and Phoebe get up and start celebrating in the kitchen, pouring wine and singing. Rachel, shocked, goes to join them.)
Phoebe: (muffled) Oh, thank you.
Phoebe: Interesting.
Phoebe: Yeah! Sure! Ooh, I left my purse up at Monicas. Ill be right back. (She goes to get it.)
Phoebe: Oh, ok, you want me to marry Mike? Alright, well, let's just gag him and handcuff him and force him down the aisle. I can just see it: "Mike, do you take Phoebe..." (gestures with her hand as if someone is covering her mouth and tries to shout "No! No!") You know, it's every girl's dream!
Phoebe: That would be great. Thank you.
Phoebe: That's true. (Pause) Well, is anything you told me about yourself true?
Phoebe: Okay, so how do we decide that?
Phoebe Sr: I realise I dont have any right to start get all parenty on you and everything now, but umm, (Sees that Phoebe isnt paying attention and is busy mimicking the puppy.) uhh Phoebe, would you please look at me and not the puppy, its very important.
Phoebe: Well, I don't know if that's such a good idea. They clearly don't want to be with us.
Phoebe: See, we dont need them.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Plate! Yes, plate.
Phoebe: Wow! That is a bad audition.
Phoebe: Okay, just tell me this, did you or did you not smell her hair?
[Scene: Dr. Burke's apartment. Dr. Burke answers the door for Phoebe and Monica.]
Rachel: Yeah, it's kinda like a 'good luck on your first day' sort of thing. (to Phoebe) Is this actually a lunchbox?
Phoebe: Oh my God! (Joey looks at her.) Im sorry, too soon. You go.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Waxine!!
Phoebe: Whatever, its the perfect end to the perfect weekend anyways.
Phoebe: God. Do think it really doesnt hurt? Cause how can they do that?
Monica: (to Phoebe) Look at you. All jealous.
Phoebe: They have the best stuff in there.
Phoebe: (pointing to the globe) See there it is right there.
Phoebe: Wait, wait, I'm getting a deja vu...no, I'm not.
Phoebe: Was it not pain-free?
Phoebe: Okay, Monicas are the biggest.
Gary: Phoebe, it's okay that you feel this way. I mean it is soon. And there's a lot of things we don't know about each other, and I just figure that everything I really like. And the things I don't know, I get to learn about at someplace with both our names on the mailbox.
Phoebe: Were all right.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is showing Monica where Sergeis country is.]
Phoebe: Ow!!!
Phoebe: Oh!!
Phoebe: Were all right.
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: Oh God, this is turning into the worst wedding day ever! The bride is pregnant. The groom is missing. And Im still holding this. (She throws the test back into the trash.)
Phoebe: (walking up to Joey) Hey.
Phoebe: (to Joey) What, what are they talking about?
PHOEBE: With the web, the spider she dies, she does. She has babies and dies. It's like ya know, hey welcome home from the hospital, thud.
Phoebe: (rhythmically) Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Phoebe: Okay, but try and get Joey too.
Joey: Thank you Phoebe, that is very, very generous.
Phoebe: Yeah, this has happened before.
PHOEBE: Oh you are so lucky.
Phoebe: Yeah, what town are we near?
Phoebe: But if...
PHOEBE: No. No, he is my submaring guy. He resurfaces like every couple years and we have the most amazing three days together. Only this time he's coming for two weeks. Two whole weeks, which means yay.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey. I need an atlas! I need an atlas!
Phoebe: (answering the phone) (whispering) Ross, thank God.
Phoebe: Yes, please.
Phoebe: Okay, listen Robert...
Phoebe: You were great. But they still made fun of you.