words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Joey is there as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: What you got?
Phoebe: Goodie! Thanks. So, how is it living with Rachel again? I mean, apart from the great food.
Phoebe: Oh my god, Rachel asked me if I knew anyone for her too.
Phoebe: I don't know. They're so perfect for each other; it's crazy.
Phoebe: I just wish they'd realise they should be together.
Phoebe: I know. They should be a family. They should get married and have more children.
Phoebe: You know what? Maybe once they start dating, and they see what's out there, they'll realise how good they are for each other.
Phoebe: So, what are we gonna do? Are we just gonna go ahead and set them up with people?
Phoebe: Yeah. (BEAT) Oh, I know what we can do. We could set Ross and Rachel up on horrible dates, so that they'll realise how good they are together.
Phoebe: Yeah, you know what the best part of it is? I get to do my "plan-laugh." (A maniacal laugh follows.)
Rachel: Well, Phoebe set me up on a date.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is drinking coffee by the counter as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Ooh, Joey.
Phoebe: Hey. I'm so excited; I just set up Rachel with the worst guy tonight.
Phoebe: Well, it's this guy I used to massage. And by massage, I mean hold down so he wouldn't turn over and flash me.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah.
Phoebe: A teacher?
Phoebe: Well, Ross does. What... You're - you're ruining the plan! Joey, you've - you've fixed him up with his perfect woman!
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: How do you even know a woman like that?
Phoebe: Joey.
Phoebe: So now what do we do?
Phoebe: What if we don't find him somebody else? We'll just tell her the date's off, but we don't tell Ross, and he goes to the restaurant and gets stood up!
Phoebe: Ooh, so this is great! Rachel's gonna have a terrible date, Ross gets stood up, and then they'll realise how good they have it together.
Phoebe: It's not Santa's plan. No, it's... (Laughs the real "plan-laugh.")
Phoebe: No, I think we killed it.
Rachel: Well, come on, Steve; let's not rule out nervous laughter. Hey, now wait a minute. Phoebe told me that - that you owned your own restaurant. That's impressive.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Joey are there. Phoebe's cell phone rings.]
Phoebe: Hello?
Rachel: Phoebe, it's me. I'm going to hunt you down and kill you!
Phoebe: Hey, Rach!
Phoebe: You know, you are talking about one of my dear, dear friends.
Phoebe: Oh, right, so he gets a little crazy when he's stoned.
Phoebe: Did he go out for a cigarette?
Phoebe: My dear, sweet Rach.
Phoebe (to Joey): Well, our plan is working. Rachel is having a miserable time, and Ross is just stood up somewhere at a restaurant all alone.
Phoebe: By the time anyone's figured out what we've done, we'll be in sunny Mexico. (BEAT) Oh, wait, that's the end of a different plan.
[Cut to outside. Phoebe and Joey are walking down the street to Central Perk.]
Phoebe: Now, wait a minute. So, they're gonna name their first child Joey?
Phoebe: How - how do I get them to name the next one after me?
Phoebe: Oh, so they owe me like, three Phoebes.
(Phoebe sees Rachel and Ross through the window.)
Phoebe: Oh my god! Look, it's Ross and Rachel. Oh, the plan is working.
Phoebe: Don't, don't do the plan-laugh.
Rachel: Oh. Huh. You know, it is weird that Phoebe would set me up on a date that was awful on the same night that Joey set you up on a date that didn't even show.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, they're falling in love all over again.
(Rachel and Ross turn around and look at Phoebe and Joey with puzzled expressions on their faces.)
Phoebe: Oh, they see us! Oh, they, they look mad. Oh, they figured it out. They're coming this way. Run!
Phoebe: Mexico!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Rachel are there as Phoebe and Monica enter.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is giving Joey a massage as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: No! No, you can't arrest me! No!! I won't go back! I won't go back to that hell hole!!
(Rachel turns her head to Ross and Phoebe and mouths, "No way.")
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are on the couch as Phoebe enters with Monicas soul mate.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is watching Phoebe play Ms. Pac-Man.]
Phoebe: Well, lots of people! Look, are you coming to memorial service or not?
Phoebe: Thank you!
Phoebe: We know its a girl! (Exits.)
Phoebe: Okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are entering. As Phoebe is sitting down, she recognizes someone sitting at the counter.]
Phoebe looks down: You are a terrific actor.
Phoebe: Is Rachel having the baby?
Phoebe: Oh you made it!
Phoebe: Sure! What?
Phoebe: I am one of Bens mothers. Im a lesbian. It was, it was difficult coming out to my parents.
Phoebe: Oh, this is fun.
Phoebe: Now you will not believe this. But, I was in the copy room, making copies, and Ralph Lauren came in.
ROSS: Hey, anyone hear from Phoebe yet?
Phoebe: Yeah. (Pause) Why arent you with Rachel?
Phoebe: I know!
Phoebe: Right. And with who again? (Ross exits.)
Phoebe: (entering with some guy) Hey. Ooh Ross! Howd the conversation go?
Phoebe: All right.
Phoebe: Hi.
Phoebe: Hey! Ooh, wow that jacket looks great on you!
Phoebe: PHOE-BE.
Phoebe: Uh-huh, yeah.
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: Oh yeah! I-I would like that.
Amy turns around to Phoebe: Emma, Ross wants you.
(Phoebe jumps to the floor as Ross tackles Rachel off of the couch. Chandler helps push Rachel onto the floor by jumping over the back of the couch. Phoebe grabs Rachel's head to hold it still and opens Rachel's eye as Monica jumps onto Chandler's back to administer the torture--I mean medicine.)
Phoebe: Wait! What?! No!! Elevator!! No!
Phoebe: No. (Pause) Neither is mine.
Phoebe: Hands.
Phoebe: Thank you. (Starts to exit.)
Phoebe: Absolutely! Yknow, you get this rush of feelings, but then it goes away.
Phoebe: Thats a great movie. <she claps>
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: Okay. Umm, before we get started, I just wanna say for the record that I love Ross, I think hes such a great guy. Here. (Hands her the picture, Rachel grabs it out of her hand.) Okay, now, close your eyes. And imagine that youre with Ross okay and imagine that youre kissing him. And youre-youre running your hands all over his body. And then you run your hands through his hair, but eew-oh gross its some kind of grease, itsuck! Hah?
Phoebe: What else? What else?
Phoebe: Enter Pheebs.
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Phoebe are on the couch as a man enters.]
[Scene: Room 816, Phoebe is making her move on Cliff.]
Phoebe: I think so too. And that little flap? Great for holding my lipstick.
[Scene: Room 816, Phoebe and Cliff are eating some pudding with spoons.]
Phoebe: (lets go of his hand) You have... have a girlfriend?
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, Im gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, Ill set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? Cause lets face it, were at Monicas. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, thats just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you cant answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, youre a lot mischievous! Well, itll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister nowwho arent there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
[Scene: Back in the kitchen at the funeral. Phoebe is there, Monica enters.]
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: Can we come in?
Phoebe: Oh, shes so beautiful.
Phoebe: Yknow! You dont make a very good first impression.
Phoebe: Yay!
Phoebe: Oh, it ate your money?
Phoebe: Oh wait, one sec. One sec. (Goes to the mirror) Hey you! Behind the glass! Who are you looking at! I've always wanted to say that when I was in one of these rooms, (sees the look on his face) which was never!
Phoebe: Oh!
Phoebe: Is she in there?
Phoebe: Five minutes ago, a line like that wouldve floored me. Now nothing. Well, not nothing, I am still a woman.
PHOEBE: Alright, now I will let go if you both stop.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, like you never called!
Phoebe: To see if know what these guys are talking about.
Phoebe: (To Monica) Oh and I need to talk to you.
Phoebe: Yay! Its so exciting! Wow, you couldve done that with us there.
Phoebe: You didn't bring one! My cab's downstairs, I'll drive you to the airport.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Are you all right?
Phoebe: Well, but thats what he was for me. And she you know, kind of stole him away, and then... broke his heart... and then he wouldnt even talk to me any more. Because he said he didnt wanna be around... anything that looked like either one of us.
[Scene: Rachels Room, Phoebe is entering.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! He did it?
Monica: Phoebe, can I talk to you for a second?
Phoebe: Especially Ross!
Phoebe: Although he does play with himself in his sleep.
Phoebe: Oh hey! Wait up!
Phoebe: And so engaged. (Points to the ring that Rachel is wearing.)
Phoebe: All right, me too. (They go into her room and see that shes sleeping.) Should we wake her up?
Phoebe: Really?
Phoebe: So whose ring is it?
Phoebe: No! No, she said you actually proposed to her.
Phoebe: Huh, I might be losing interest in this.
Phoebe: But you didnt give it to her?
Phoebe: Hey. Ooh, look at you, dressy-dress.
Phoebe: Oh. Ah-uh.
Monica: Damnit! Damnit!! Heres your fifty bucks! (Pays Phoebe.)
Ross: It was just a kiss. (Phoebe enters and overhears this.)
[Scene: Monicas Hotel Room, Chandler and Monicas parents and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Phoebe: Hey what are you guys looking at?
Ross: And you told Phoebe you were engaged.
Phoebe: Shocking! Lets play the game of who can stay quiet the longest. (Giggles)
Phoebe: Regina Philange. (Ken and Regina shake hands.)
Monica: Phoebe did the signs!
Phoebe: Look at all the stuff people sent!
Phoebe: Oh my God! I had the best time with Tim last night. He is so sweet! Oh, I cant wait to get sous-neath him.
Phoebe: (stops at a door) Oh no, the Mendels, they hate all living things, right?
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Phoebe, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are watching Emma sleep.]
Phoebe: You know thats thats her.
Phoebe: I could be a secretary.
Phoebe: It really does how long do you think we have to stay?
(David and Phoebe sit down at a table close to Chandler and Monica's)