words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Joey is there as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: What you got?
Phoebe: Goodie! Thanks. So, how is it living with Rachel again? I mean, apart from the great food.
Phoebe: Oh my god, Rachel asked me if I knew anyone for her too.
Phoebe: I don't know. They're so perfect for each other; it's crazy.
Phoebe: I just wish they'd realise they should be together.
Phoebe: I know. They should be a family. They should get married and have more children.
Phoebe: You know what? Maybe once they start dating, and they see what's out there, they'll realise how good they are for each other.
Phoebe: So, what are we gonna do? Are we just gonna go ahead and set them up with people?
Phoebe: Yeah. (BEAT) Oh, I know what we can do. We could set Ross and Rachel up on horrible dates, so that they'll realise how good they are together.
Phoebe: Yeah, you know what the best part of it is? I get to do my "plan-laugh." (A maniacal laugh follows.)
Rachel: Well, Phoebe set me up on a date.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is drinking coffee by the counter as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Ooh, Joey.
Phoebe: Hey. I'm so excited; I just set up Rachel with the worst guy tonight.
Phoebe: Well, it's this guy I used to massage. And by massage, I mean hold down so he wouldn't turn over and flash me.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah.
Phoebe: A teacher?
Phoebe: Well, Ross does. What... You're - you're ruining the plan! Joey, you've - you've fixed him up with his perfect woman!
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: How do you even know a woman like that?
Phoebe: Joey.
Phoebe: So now what do we do?
Phoebe: What if we don't find him somebody else? We'll just tell her the date's off, but we don't tell Ross, and he goes to the restaurant and gets stood up!
Phoebe: Ooh, so this is great! Rachel's gonna have a terrible date, Ross gets stood up, and then they'll realise how good they have it together.
Phoebe: It's not Santa's plan. No, it's... (Laughs the real "plan-laugh.")
Phoebe: No, I think we killed it.
Rachel: Well, come on, Steve; let's not rule out nervous laughter. Hey, now wait a minute. Phoebe told me that - that you owned your own restaurant. That's impressive.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Joey are there. Phoebe's cell phone rings.]
Phoebe: Hello?
Rachel: Phoebe, it's me. I'm going to hunt you down and kill you!
Phoebe: Hey, Rach!
Phoebe: You know, you are talking about one of my dear, dear friends.
Phoebe: Oh, right, so he gets a little crazy when he's stoned.
Phoebe: Did he go out for a cigarette?
Phoebe: My dear, sweet Rach.
Phoebe (to Joey): Well, our plan is working. Rachel is having a miserable time, and Ross is just stood up somewhere at a restaurant all alone.
Phoebe: By the time anyone's figured out what we've done, we'll be in sunny Mexico. (BEAT) Oh, wait, that's the end of a different plan.
[Cut to outside. Phoebe and Joey are walking down the street to Central Perk.]
Phoebe: Now, wait a minute. So, they're gonna name their first child Joey?
Phoebe: How - how do I get them to name the next one after me?
Phoebe: Oh, so they owe me like, three Phoebes.
(Phoebe sees Rachel and Ross through the window.)
Phoebe: Oh my god! Look, it's Ross and Rachel. Oh, the plan is working.
Phoebe: Don't, don't do the plan-laugh.
Rachel: Oh. Huh. You know, it is weird that Phoebe would set me up on a date that was awful on the same night that Joey set you up on a date that didn't even show.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, they're falling in love all over again.
(Rachel and Ross turn around and look at Phoebe and Joey with puzzled expressions on their faces.)
Phoebe: Oh, they see us! Oh, they, they look mad. Oh, they figured it out. They're coming this way. Run!
Phoebe: Mexico!
Joey: Oh, I know how we can decide. Phoebe, show him your game!
(The door bursts open, and Joey and Phoebe rush in.)
Phoebe: I'm so embarrassed, I'm the one he hit on!
Phoebe: (in a coy tone) Oh, you caught me. I am so busted.
(They go over to the counter and Chandler moves closer to Phoebe.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is getting Phoebe ready for her date.]
Phoebe: Well, I still think that it’s a stupid reason not to call someone again. You are calling her! And if you need to, just get an extra plate of fries for the table!
Chandler: Ah, I fooled around with Joeys sister. (Phoebe gasps) Well, thats not the worst part.
Phoebe: (checks) I never get calls!! (Answers the phone) Hello?
PHOEBE: I don't think it would have sold a million copies but it would have made a nice gift for you.
Monica: See? Thats what I mean. I mean that, thats great! But I wouldnt trade in what I have for that. I mean Im gonna be with Chandler for the rest of my life, and thats what makes me happy. (Chandler approaches.) Hey sweetie, come here! Come sit down. Hey Phoebe and I were just talking about how our relationship is deep and meaningful. It really is dont you think?
Phoebe: (Groans) Is it Chandler?
Phoebe: Stop it! Stop it, before someone gets really hurt! (they stop and Phoebe gets David's jacket and gives it to him) Here David, you should just go.
Phoebe: You know, maybe she was just really spent from our talk. It was pretty intense.
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe! I mean Im justWait a minute. If Im your maid of honor that means you are Monicas.
Phoebe: Oh, you didnt have to come in with me.
Phoebe: That is unfair. I'll call her and tell her it was totally my fault.
[Cut to later in that episode. Phoebe is telling Rachel in Monica and Chandlers that Chandler wants to make a date with Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Wow! Nice! Manly and also kind of a slut.
Monica: (shouts to Chandler) And make sure our room isn't next to theirs (points to Phoebe).
Phoebe: Okay. (To the jeweler) Listen, Im sorry about before. Do you have anything her for $10.
Phoebe: Whos the father?!
Phoebe: I dont know, he just started kissing me. Get him! Get him, Vince!
Phoebe: (with a deep voice) Mr. Bing's office. (Listens) No I'm sorry, he's in a meeting right now.
PHOEBE: OK, no. For your information I'm going to see him so I can put all those feeling behind me. OK, and the reason I'm dressed like this is because I think it's nice to look nice for your gay husband.
Phoebe: No not you, Dr. Drake Remoray. You can ask him questions and see whats he like. People tell doctors everything.
[Time lapse. Ross and Joey are cleaning the table while Judy and Phoebe talk by the window. Jack and Chandler are sitting on the couch while Monica sits on the coffee table.]
Phoebe: Y'know Monica you had a minor setback in your relationship with Chandler. Big deal! It's only Chandler. (Monica turns and stares at her.) I am so sorry.
Monica: Well it wasnt my fault, Phoebe was in charge of the invitations!
Phoebe: I know! (points at herself) Evil! And... and... and... I like Mike so much, you know. It's just going really well. Oh my God!
Ross: Phoebe! (He grabs her arm to get her attention.)
Phoebe: Ohh, let me see it! Let me see your hand! (Chandler is frantically trying to wave them off.)
Phoebe: (checking her watch) Yeah, Im very wise. I know.
PHOEBE: OK, I can be a waitress, I can be a waitress.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around after the party. Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe enter.]
PHOEBE: Sparkly. So, wow, this is pretty wonerful, huh. Mr. major capades guy. I, I remember when you were just, like, King Friday in Mr. Roger's Ice is Nice.
Phoebe: Well, he came in for a massage, and everything was fine until. (A flashback starts Paolo, lying on massage table, moving his hands up Phoebe's legs.)
Phoebe: Or, we can decide by whose ever name is closer to the word phone.
Phoebe: And tell them that in 2 weeks I will once again be a masseuse in good standing!
Rachel: (joining Phoebe outside) Hey Pheebs.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing a new song as the gang looks on.]
Phoebe: Okay but look! Look at what I got! Its her address book! (Holds it up.) We have a guest list!
Phoebe: (To Ross) For what it's worth, we would have caught her if we were at the right airport.
Phoebe: No-no-no, but I am mad! I am mad! Because this stuff is everything that is wrong with the world! And its all sitting up in my living room and all I can think about is how I dont have that lamp!
Joey: Phoebe! Were both (points at Ross and himself) your backup?!
Phoebe: Do you think thats something that hed be mad at you for?
Phoebe: Okay, ah, before you get all talky again, umm, could you also please tell Sergei that I really like his suit.
Phoebe: Ooh, I'll go in on that with you! I couldn't think of anything.
Phoebe: Alright, okay, so we can all go now. That is fun. Hey, you know what? We all haven�t been together the six of us in such a long time.
[Cut to later in that episode in Central Perk, a meeting with Phoebe, Rachel, and Joey where they discuss Chandler and Monica.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, its the one with the fake chocolate. Monica has baked some cookies and Phoebe is trying them.]
(Phoebe comes in from the bathroom as Rachel sits down in disgust.)
Phoebe: (entering and talking on mobile phone) Ok, great! All right, bye! (she hangs up) Pain in the ass!! (she looks at the others, then back at the phone) That's off, right?
(Suddenly, Phoebe leans in and kisses her on the lips!)
Phoebe: Ohh, give him a kiss for me!
Phoebe: Oh-okay, I get the game now.
Phoebe: He is! But hes getting divorcedRoss! Maybe you know him.
PHOEBE: Ok, I didn't see it, because I was putting on my jacket, but I uh want to believe you.
(Phoebe enters, walks to the couch, sits down, and begins to read a letter without saying hi.)
Ross: (To Phoebe) Im sorry. Ugh, Pheebs, you were, you were right about her. Yknow, she did try to use sex as a weapon! Yeah, I hurt my back a little.
[Time lapse, Ross and Rachel are talking, Joey is on the couch, and Monica and Phoebe are out of the room.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is on the couch staring off into space as Rachel enters.]
(Phoebe opens the box, to find something familiar inside.)
Phoebe: Oh, Ill get it. (goes over to the door.)
Phoebe: Youll have a last kiss.
(Phoebe moves in the dressing room from which Charlie went out)
Phoebe: Okay, let's go running!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is sitting on the couch as Monica enters.]
Phoebe: Yeah, and yknow what? I dont give a tiny rats ass.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is at the counter, serving coffee to Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Okay, I guess. I mean I dont know, its just, I guess I know its going to be over soon.
Phoebe: (seeing him) Okay, nows not the time Joey. All right? You can yell at me tomorrow.
Phoebe: Okay. And, my, dead, mother, says, you, are, it. I'm with Rachel.
[Phoebe gets up and goes into Rachels old room, a smile on her face.]
Phoebe: Sorry, Im so sorry, I will pay you back.
Rachel: (Into microphone) Central Perk is proud to present Miss Phoebe Buffay.
Monica: All right, Chandler can make boxes, Ross can wrap, and Joey can lift things. Now Phoebe, go tell the guys they have to help out!
Phoebe: (taking his coffee) Okay, whatever you say. But just be careful, all right? Rachels not in the same place you are.
[Scene: A Street: Monica and Phoebe are walking to a newsstand.]
Phoebe: Ohh!! God! (Gary enters and she sees him) Ooh! (To Chandler) Get out of here, good for nothing.
Dr. Green: Who is the father? Oh no! Please dont tell me its her! (Points at Phoebe.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are there eating pizza as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: I have to tie my shoe, so you go ahead, I'll catch up.
Phoebe: I dunno, well he got over the "We were on a break" thing really quickly.
Phoebe: They were threefold.
Phoebe: Yeah, she turned you into this-this-this untrusting, crazy, jealous, sycophant. (They all look at her.) All right, so I dont know what sycophant means, but the rest is right.
Phoebe: Come on, Mom, Ill take you home.
Monica: (to Phoebe) You start working on that list. (She grabs her coat and leaves, too.)
Phoebe: Yeah, because you know what, it's... it's all about the children.
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, theyre all eating the wax, Chandler and Phoebe, dont like it. Joey tries some and makes a face like: Hey, thats not so bad.]
Phoebe: Well, how-how-how is that possible? You barely know her!
Phoebe: Oh, not anymore. I changed it today.
Phoebe: Oh, Paolo, hi, what are you doing here?
Chandler: (disgusted) Oh come on! (To Phoebe) Are you listening to this?
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Rob are sitting on the couch.]
[Scene: A Jewelry Shop, Chandler and Phoebe are looking at engagement rings.]
Phoebe: No, its just that he got this new like home theater dealie, and he wants y'know, us to check it out.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are there, Joey is on the phone.]
Phoebe: Uh, it's a piece of paper and it says, "Ross" on it.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are entering. Phoebe and Joey are sitting on the couch.]