words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Joey is there as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: What you got?
Phoebe: Goodie! Thanks. So, how is it living with Rachel again? I mean, apart from the great food.
Phoebe: Oh my god, Rachel asked me if I knew anyone for her too.
Phoebe: I don't know. They're so perfect for each other; it's crazy.
Phoebe: I just wish they'd realise they should be together.
Phoebe: I know. They should be a family. They should get married and have more children.
Phoebe: You know what? Maybe once they start dating, and they see what's out there, they'll realise how good they are for each other.
Phoebe: So, what are we gonna do? Are we just gonna go ahead and set them up with people?
Phoebe: Yeah. (BEAT) Oh, I know what we can do. We could set Ross and Rachel up on horrible dates, so that they'll realise how good they are together.
Phoebe: Yeah, you know what the best part of it is? I get to do my "plan-laugh." (A maniacal laugh follows.)
Rachel: Well, Phoebe set me up on a date.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is drinking coffee by the counter as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Ooh, Joey.
Phoebe: Hey. I'm so excited; I just set up Rachel with the worst guy tonight.
Phoebe: Well, it's this guy I used to massage. And by massage, I mean hold down so he wouldn't turn over and flash me.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah.
Phoebe: A teacher?
Phoebe: Well, Ross does. What... You're - you're ruining the plan! Joey, you've - you've fixed him up with his perfect woman!
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: How do you even know a woman like that?
Phoebe: Joey.
Phoebe: So now what do we do?
Phoebe: What if we don't find him somebody else? We'll just tell her the date's off, but we don't tell Ross, and he goes to the restaurant and gets stood up!
Phoebe: Ooh, so this is great! Rachel's gonna have a terrible date, Ross gets stood up, and then they'll realise how good they have it together.
Phoebe: It's not Santa's plan. No, it's... (Laughs the real "plan-laugh.")
Phoebe: No, I think we killed it.
Rachel: Well, come on, Steve; let's not rule out nervous laughter. Hey, now wait a minute. Phoebe told me that - that you owned your own restaurant. That's impressive.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Joey are there. Phoebe's cell phone rings.]
Phoebe: Hello?
Rachel: Phoebe, it's me. I'm going to hunt you down and kill you!
Phoebe: Hey, Rach!
Phoebe: You know, you are talking about one of my dear, dear friends.
Phoebe: Oh, right, so he gets a little crazy when he's stoned.
Phoebe: Did he go out for a cigarette?
Phoebe: My dear, sweet Rach.
Phoebe (to Joey): Well, our plan is working. Rachel is having a miserable time, and Ross is just stood up somewhere at a restaurant all alone.
Phoebe: By the time anyone's figured out what we've done, we'll be in sunny Mexico. (BEAT) Oh, wait, that's the end of a different plan.
[Cut to outside. Phoebe and Joey are walking down the street to Central Perk.]
Phoebe: Now, wait a minute. So, they're gonna name their first child Joey?
Phoebe: How - how do I get them to name the next one after me?
Phoebe: Oh, so they owe me like, three Phoebes.
(Phoebe sees Rachel and Ross through the window.)
Phoebe: Oh my god! Look, it's Ross and Rachel. Oh, the plan is working.
Phoebe: Don't, don't do the plan-laugh.
Rachel: Oh. Huh. You know, it is weird that Phoebe would set me up on a date that was awful on the same night that Joey set you up on a date that didn't even show.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, they're falling in love all over again.
(Rachel and Ross turn around and look at Phoebe and Joey with puzzled expressions on their faces.)
Phoebe: Oh, they see us! Oh, they, they look mad. Oh, they figured it out. They're coming this way. Run!
Phoebe: Mexico!
Phoebe: Oh, now you're sad and creepy, oh. You know what, I, I'm sorry I quit, okay, I just quit.
Phoebe: Yeah. The 92 Ross wouldnt.
Phoebe: Guess what. Frank Jr., and Alice got married!
Phoebe: Drum roll.
Phoebe: No, I can handle it. No, Im a professional. (She starts to leave)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing her holiday song.]
Phoebe: Youre actually going through with this?
Phoebe: Okay!
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: Yay!
Ross: In this life, Phoebe.
Phoebe: Okay, bye!
Phoebe: Nothing, I just thought I'd stop by.. y'know, after the uh... that I.. y'know, so what are you doing here?
PHOEBE: I know, I know, and I was gonna get it but then he came in with this needle and uh, di-, did you know they do this with needles?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah! You like em? I just, I went to a used clothes store and got a bunch of maternity stuff. These are sooo comfortable!
Phoebe: Excuse me.
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: (entering, wearing Santa pants) Hello!
Phoebe: (seeing Rachel's clothes) What a neat idea. All your clothes match. I'm gonna do this.
Phoebe: Um, um. It's huge. Yeah, that's the moment, when-when, you know she stopped being a princess, and became, like, a woman, you know.
Phoebe: Boy! I didnt see that coming!
Phoebe: Oh! These are the ones I was looking at in the store. (she got earrings)
Phoebe: Hey, look who's up! How do you feel?
Phoebe: Thats too hard. Too hard!
Phoebe: Or you could end up with everything.
Phoebe: Oh no, I know! I know! It's the one where Joey got Monica's turkey stuck on his head!
Phoebe: This is great!
Phoebe: Oh, I have cards!
Phoebe: All right, Joey, same question.
Rachel: Phoebe, its okay. I like living with Joey.
[Rachel and Phoebe walk into the kitchen. Monica comes out of the bathroom and goes over to Ross.]
(They all look to Phoebe to settle this.)
Phoebe: (starting to panic) Oh my God, everything is such a mess. Why is this happening to me?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Rachel, and Joey are eating, and Phoebe is preparing Ben's milk.]
(Phoebe arrives, guitar in hand.)
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Phoebe is entering.]
Phoebe: (to Pete) Wow! Thats exciting, you went to Japan, made up a woman.
Phoebe: Well, like acoustic folksy stuff. You know? But right now I'm working on a couple 'Iron Maiden' covers.
Phoebe: No, no, Mr. Heckles no one is making any noise up here.
Phoebe: (surprised) Hello?
Joey: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Joey? What's going on?
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: What? Oh, are you pregnant too?!
Phoebe: Yeah, its for our catering business!
Phoebe: The name was my favourite part!
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Great! Okay, good for you! (as they leave she slaps Rachel on the butt)
Phoebe: (walks him to the kitchen) Easy. Step. How did it get on?
Phoebe: All right. I gotta go. I have break up with Vince.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Oh my God! Monica's gonna totally freak out!
Phoebe: Already?!
Phoebe: Isnt it funny how we kept running into each other? Its as if someone really wants us to be together.
Phoebe: Please, dont play the music. Just uh one more. LIVE FROM NEW YORK! ITS SATURDAY NIGHT!!
[Chandler tries to warn Phoebe that the woman is coming on to her, but Phoebe doesn't see him.]
[cut to Phoebe and Rachel as Monica returns from the bathroom]
Phoebe: So you do know who he is! (laughs, Ross stares at her) Sorry.
Monica: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: (noticing a guy sitting by the green post looking at her) Oh wait a second you guys for the last couple weeks Ive been that guy everywhere I go. We take the same bus. We go to the same bookstore, the same dry cleaners; maybe hes the tea guy. (He gets up to leave, and smiles at Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Yes!
Monica: (to Phoebe) You know it's funny, the last time Paulo was here, my hair was so much shorter and cuter.
Phoebe: All right, stop it. Now youre just doing it to freak me out.
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Chandler and Monica are sitting on the couch. Phoebe and Mike enters.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Wow! See, and I didn't think you'd be able to come up with anything.
Monica: Hey, come on, Phoebe, you understand dont you?
Phoebe: No, I mean you break up with Janice and I'll break up with Tony.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Thank you!
Phoebe: No, it's not supposed to be funny, it's supposed to be scary.
Phoebe: Yeah, I think we are.
Phoebe: I still cannot believe youre engaged! (Ross looks at her) Just cause its happening so fast; not cause youre such a loser.
Phoebe: Me too.
Phoebe: Me too.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Yay!
Phoebe: Im not gonna right to you! Thats not real!
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: I guess.
[Scene: Central Perk, the next night, Phoebe is finishing up her set.]
Phoebe: What is that?
Phoebe: Oh, how did it go?
Mike: Done it. (Phoebe becomes a little more subdued) I'll be back in a couple of hours.
Phoebe: What did he say?
Phoebe: Yeah, maybe.
Phoebe: Any luck?
Phoebe: Oh sure, Cilantro Larry.
Phoebe: What?! Monica, Im scared!!
Phoebe: Not after this!
Phoebe: What-whats up?
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Rachel: Ugh. (She goes over and lays her head on Phoebes lap.)
Phoebe: Joey, you can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Believe me, there's something I've been trying to get Mike to do in bed and there's... he's just...
Phoebe: Well alright, looks like you guys have got it under control so Im just gonna go. (She gets up and Rachel looks at her, upset, and Monica just stares.) No! Really? Misery really does love company. All right! (She sits back down.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is coming out of the living room carrying his salad and a puzzlebeer! Cold beer. And he decides to fold up Phoebes massage table, but being Ross has trouble with it as there is a knock on the door. He sets the table back up and opens the door to reveal a beautiful woman.]
Phoebe: I'll have to get back to you on that. Okay, bye! (Hangs up.) Oh my God! He wants me to come over and feel his bicep and more!
Phoebe: Come on! Let us be guys! Maybe we want to be guys!