words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is getting a cup of coffee as Joey and Phoebe enter and sit down.]
Phoebe: Oh! Hey, Rach!
Phoebe: Oh, you, too.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: (sighs) Honey, I wish you would get over her. I hate seeing you like this. Is there anything I can do for you? Do you want to look down my top?
Phoebe: Oh, Gunther, can I get a scone?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Phoebe and Ross are sitting in the living room talking.]
Phoebe: So, how does Mona feel about you and Rachel living together?
Phoebe: Ugh. Come on, Mona, dont kiss ass.
Phoebe: All right. Oh! Shoot! Oh shoot! Uh, Rachel wanted to see this tape!
Phoebe: Its a video of my friend giving birth. Could you just bring it back to your apartment?
Phoebe: Yeah. Candys the mother, Cookies the daughter. The fathers also Cookie. Why am I friends with these people?
Monica: (entering with something behind her back) Phoebe, cmere. I want to show you something in the bathroom.
Phoebe: Oh, Monica, grow up!
Monica: Nothing. Just something I want to get Phoebes opinion on for Valentines Day.
Phoebe: (knocking and entering) Hey. Look, I know youve been really depressed lately, so I brought someone over to cheer you up. Right outside this door is a real, live, furry playmate.
(Phoebe goes into the hall and brings a dog inside!)
Phoebe: He-hee!
Phoebe: This is the happiest dog in the world. I borrowed him from my friend Wendy. Now, you can only keep him until he cheers you up. And he will cheer you up!
Joey: Oh, thats, uh, thats Phoebes friends dog. I dont know what his real name is, but I call him Mozzarella.
Monica: Is this the video of the baby being born? Sweetie, this is Phoebes. Why were you even watching it?
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross and Phoebe are sitting on the couch.]
Phoebe: How could you not tell Mona that Rachel is living with you?
Phoebe: Taffy, really? Ive never had any.
Phoebe: Well, I think my mother was too busy planning her suicide to provide saltwater treats. (Ross hands her one) Thank you! So what, youre just never going to tell her?
Phoebe: If I havent said it before: shes a lucky, lucky lady! So, where are you going towhat the mother of crap is up with this stuff? (Referring to the taffy, which shes been chewing this whole time.) Oh, God. Is it gum, is it food? Whats the deal? (she swallows it, finally) Oh, its nice! May I try a pink one?
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: Hey, buddy. Hows my favorite dog, huh? Hows my favorite dog? (the dog doesnt move) Youre subdued. (to Joey) Did you give him a beer?
Phoebe: Will you excuse us, we need to talk for a moment.
(Joey follows Phoebe into the kitchen)
Phoebe: Hes miserable! What happened to him?
Phoebe: What stuff?
Phoebe: Oh Joey, you bummed him out! This was the happiest dog in the world, and he spends half a day with you, and look at him!
Phoebe: Okay, Im going to take him back to Wendys.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Please!
Phoebe: Dead. (everyone is a bit upset) Oh, it's OK, no, he was old, yeah! And he lived a full life, he was in the first wave at Omaha Beach.
Phoebe: You think you know me so well.
Phoebe: Ross, could we please, please, please listen to anything else?
Phoebe: Thats what I said.
Phoebe: Oh hey, Monica, I heard you saw Donald Trump at your convention.
(Phoebe runs in and joins her.)
Joey: (to Phoebe) Wow, that was kinda brutal.
Phoebe: Oh, I cursed it. So now bad things will happen to he who spends it.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah!
Phoebe: Yeah, well, everybody does! Im a really cool person. And y'know you had 29 years to find that out, but you didnt even try! Y'know what, you walked out on me, and Im just, Im gonna do the same thing to you.
PHOEBE: Hi Rob Dohnen.
[Scene: The rest stop, Phoebes pulling in.]
Phoebe: Never mind, I got it.
Phoebe: I know. This is really, really huge.
Phoebe: (to Paulo) Ok, you're gonna have to not touch my ass.
PHOEBE: Oh. Well is she, is she the first that you've been with?
Phoebe: (to Rachel, whos staying in the cab.) Arent you gonna go?
Ross: (holds up a hand) Little girl misses her cat. (hold up the other hand) Crazy lady thinks her mother is in a cat. (gets up) Okay, y'know what, I have to go have dinner with my son, can I trust that when you see Phoebe, you will tell her.
Phoebe: Okay, dont give me a reason to get mad, okay
Phoebe: Hey, how'd it go?
Phoebe: Ewww! Oh! Its the Mattress King!
Phoebe: (to Leslie) Oh, I thought you werent coming. What? Where were you?
Chandler: Hello Phoebe, I've been thinking about you all day. (He's holding the phone so that Monica can hear it as well.)
(He hugs her. Phoebe enters.)
Phoebe: Well, personally I think it's great you're giving yourself a break.
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: What is this?
Phoebe: No it's just that I got this new pager and I have it on vibrate. See ya!
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Okay, yeah, so it's not gonna work.
Phoebe: I cant! I cant! Unless Well are you saying that-that you would move out if-if I didnt buy that lamp?
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: Ohh, well, you're my lucky penny.
Phoebe and Monica: Hey.
Phoebe: But look Chandler, right now, no one has a lower opinion of you than I do. But I totally believe you can do this.
Phoebe: Oh, Rachel and I have appointments to get our hair cut.
Phoebe: Monica your remote doesn't work.
PHOEBE: Oh God, here we go. For the first time in my life I'm gonna say 'Hi birthfather'.
Phoebe: Good. Yknowno-no, okay, its-it feels like everythings been about me lately, so whats happening with you?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, he clipped on, he said call him as soon as you get a chance, hes at Flimbys.
Phoebe: No, y'know what dont close it (Rachel slams the door shut locking themselves out.) cause the... keys...are in there.
Phoebe: Look out, incoming pumpkin pie!
Monica: Phoebe! Come on Im serious! I just got to talk to him about all this.
Monica: All right, Phoebe get open. Rachel, go long.
Phoebe: (to Monica, whos entering) Hey, youre early.
Phoebe: Alright, Ill try, fine! Yes, Okay!
(Monica and Phoebe get up and start celebrating in the kitchen, pouring wine and singing. Rachel, shocked, goes to join them.)
Phoebe: (muffled) Oh, thank you.
Phoebe: Interesting.
Phoebe: Yeah! Sure! Ooh, I left my purse up at Monicas. Ill be right back. (She goes to get it.)
Phoebe: Oh, ok, you want me to marry Mike? Alright, well, let's just gag him and handcuff him and force him down the aisle. I can just see it: "Mike, do you take Phoebe..." (gestures with her hand as if someone is covering her mouth and tries to shout "No! No!") You know, it's every girl's dream!
Phoebe: That would be great. Thank you.
Phoebe: That's true. (Pause) Well, is anything you told me about yourself true?
Phoebe: Okay, so how do we decide that?
Phoebe Sr: I realise I dont have any right to start get all parenty on you and everything now, but umm, (Sees that Phoebe isnt paying attention and is busy mimicking the puppy.) uhh Phoebe, would you please look at me and not the puppy, its very important.
Phoebe: Well, I don't know if that's such a good idea. They clearly don't want to be with us.
Phoebe: See, we dont need them.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Plate! Yes, plate.
Phoebe: Wow! That is a bad audition.
Phoebe: Okay, just tell me this, did you or did you not smell her hair?
[Scene: Dr. Burke's apartment. Dr. Burke answers the door for Phoebe and Monica.]
Rachel: Yeah, it's kinda like a 'good luck on your first day' sort of thing. (to Phoebe) Is this actually a lunchbox?
Phoebe: Oh my God! (Joey looks at her.) Im sorry, too soon. You go.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Waxine!!
Phoebe: Whatever, its the perfect end to the perfect weekend anyways.
Phoebe: God. Do think it really doesnt hurt? Cause how can they do that?
Monica: (to Phoebe) Look at you. All jealous.
Phoebe: They have the best stuff in there.
Phoebe: (pointing to the globe) See there it is right there.
Phoebe: Wait, wait, I'm getting a deja vu...no, I'm not.
Phoebe: Was it not pain-free?
Phoebe: Okay, Monicas are the biggest.
Gary: Phoebe, it's okay that you feel this way. I mean it is soon. And there's a lot of things we don't know about each other, and I just figure that everything I really like. And the things I don't know, I get to learn about at someplace with both our names on the mailbox.
Phoebe: Were all right.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is showing Monica where Sergeis country is.]
Phoebe: Ow!!!
Phoebe: Oh!!
Phoebe: Were all right.
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: Oh God, this is turning into the worst wedding day ever! The bride is pregnant. The groom is missing. And Im still holding this. (She throws the test back into the trash.)
Phoebe: (walking up to Joey) Hey.
Phoebe: (to Joey) What, what are they talking about?
PHOEBE: With the web, the spider she dies, she does. She has babies and dies. It's like ya know, hey welcome home from the hospital, thud.
Phoebe: (rhythmically) Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Phoebe: Okay, but try and get Joey too.
Joey: Thank you Phoebe, that is very, very generous.
Phoebe: Yeah, this has happened before.
PHOEBE: Oh you are so lucky.
Phoebe: Yeah, what town are we near?
Phoebe: But if...
PHOEBE: No. No, he is my submaring guy. He resurfaces like every couple years and we have the most amazing three days together. Only this time he's coming for two weeks. Two whole weeks, which means yay.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey. I need an atlas! I need an atlas!
Phoebe: (answering the phone) (whispering) Ross, thank God.
Phoebe: Yes, please.
Phoebe: Okay, listen Robert...
Phoebe: You were great. But they still made fun of you.