words in movies
Phoebe: Hi.
Monica: Hey Phoebe... how you doin'? You feelin' better?
Phoebe: Breaking up sucks! Oh, I really miss Mike!
Phoebe: Oh God, I tried everything to make myself feel better. I even tried writing a song about it... but... I can't think of anything that rhymes with AARRGGHH!! (pause) Hey Monica, I really need your help getting through this...
Phoebe: Well no, when I get to the point where... you know... I'm ready to hear cruel mocking jokes about Mike... I'm gonna come to you.
Phoebe: Ok. I mean I know I did the right thing. You know, Mike never wants to get married and I shouldn't be in a relationship that has no future... but... pretty soon I'm gonna miss him so much. I'm gonna wanna see him again and you have to stop me from doing that.
Phoebe: (after a pause) Unless... Maybe it's too crazy about this... Alright so... you know, there is no future... but that doesn't mean we still can't have fun. You know what? Forget what I said.
Phoebe: That was a test and you just failed.
Phoebe: God, I wish Mike were here.
(Phoebe gives her a meaningful look)
Phoebe: I gotta call him. Just to talk to him, there's no harm in that.
Monica: Phoebe, that's how it starts. I don't need to eat the cake, I'll just smell the icing... why don't I just eat a little sliver, or, okay, just a slice or two. And next thing you know, you're 210 pounds and you get wedged in going down the tunnel slide. Phoebe, honey, I know this is hard. Look, if you talk to him, you're going to wanna see him. And if you see him, you're going to want to get back together with him. I know that's not what you want. (pause) Give me your phone.
Phoebe: Here.
Phoebe: Okay (she takes a huge, clearly obsolete cellphone she keeps in a closet and gives it to Monica)
Phoebe: Yes.
Phoebe: Yes, it reminds me of a simpler time.
Monica: Phoebe, where's your purse?
(They run for Phoebe's purse, Phoebe gets there first and takes the cell. Monica tries to take it away from her)
Phoebe: You can't have it.
Phoebe: No (tucks it in her pants)
Phoebe: (disbelievingly) Oh yeah.
Monica: Phoebe come here
Phoebe: Damn you Monica Geller hyphen Bing!
Phoebe: You know, it's a lot less surprising to do that after I've buzzed you into the building.
Monica: So Phoebe, why are there men's shoes by the door.
Phoebe: Those are my shoes.
Phoebe: Monica, I really appreciate you checking in on me, but I'm actually feeling a lot better. Yeah, I just kinda want to be alone right now.
Phoebe: I ordered Chinese food.
Phoebe: What are the chances? 1 billion Chinese people and they send Mike!?
Mike: Phoebe called me.
Monica: Phoebe!
Phoebe: I'm sorry, I broke down... I wanted to see him.
Monica: Damnit Phoebe! How did you even call him?
Phoebe: There is a speakerphone on the base unit...
Mike: Look, if I wanna see Phoebe and she wants to see...
Phoebe: Not if nothing happens. Why can't... why can't we just hang out as friends?
Monica: Sure! If you're just gonna hang out as friends, then maybe I'll join ya. You know, I'm your friend (to Phoebe) and Mike's friend (Mike is sceptical).
Phoebe: Sit down.
(Phoebe and Mike sit next to each other)
Mike: (to Phoebe) So how've you been?
Mike: (to Phoebe) You look really beautiful.
Phoebe: Thanks, you look good too.
Phoebe: So how's the piano playing going?
Phoebe: I've missed you too.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment: Phoebe, Monica and Mike sitting on the couch]
Phoebe: I know, I want that too, but IS that going to make it too hard?
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Oh, I missed you so much! (she kisses Mike)
Phoebe: Who is this?
Monica: Hi, that's what I'm doing for Phoebe!
Phoebe: You could get arrested, right now! (Flashes the badge and they glare at her.) All right, yeah, I gotta take it back. I'm totally drunk with power. (She heads for the door just as Joey enters.)
Phoebe: (handing Rachel the phone) Fine all right, but Id bet youd be singing another tune if we were fighting over a ratchet.
Phoebe: So how are things going with you?
Phoebe: Two?
Phoebe: Oh, this is so intense. One side of my butt is totally asleep, and the other side has no idea.
Phoebe: You didn't get the money, did you?
Phoebe: No it's not, sorry.
Phoebe: (with her mouthful) Hi Monica.
Joey: (in a very aaaaahhhhh sweeeeeet voice) Aaahhh, look at you two... holding hands... huh is this getting serious? (Phoebe and Mike, embarrassed, start babbling and look away.) Have you not talked about it yet? (They say nothing now, but smile) Am I making you uncomfortable? (smiles are becoming forced now, and he speaks to Mike) If you were bigger you'd hit me, huh...? Aaaaaahhhhhh (he turns away to the bar)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are there. Monica is holding the wrapping paper from one of Rachel's gifts.]
Phoebe: Yeah okay, no if it helps you okay. Yeah.
Phoebe: Oh.
Ross: I don’t know. Phoebe, if one of us saw Mike with another woman would you want us to tell you?
Phoebe: Yeah. Sorry. (she starts to leave)
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Yeah, no, I understand.
Phoebe: Yeah that was lucrative! Smart like your brother!
PHOEBE: Uh huh, what is happening to the world? I mean, no no no, 'cause ET leaves, and and Rocky loses, Charlotte dies.
(She laughs at the childhood memory. Phoebe smiles at being able to make her point.)
Phoebe: Im just saying that only a man completely secure with his masculinity could walk around in womens underwear! I dont think you could ever do that.
Phoebe: Okay, okay, okay, the black. But, oh, do you have black, with the little strappys?
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there but Chandler. Phoebe runs in, excitedly.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: (sarcastically) Uhuh... Yeah...!, you know. And given my life long search for irony, you can imagine how happy I am.
Phoebe: Chandler.
Phoebe: Joey.
Phoebe: This is Monica.
Phoebe: This is everybody. This is Ross.
Phoebe: And this is Rachel.
PHOEBE: Um, a chip. A tattoo, I'm getting a tattoo.
PHOEBE: Chandler, you gotta stop staring at the door. It's like a watched pot, you know if you keep looking at it then the door is to, never gonna boil. I think what you have to do is try not to...
Phoebe: (sits up) Oh, ew!
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah. You can do it to. (tries to do it, but cant)
Phoebe: Wow, thats close. Whens yours?
Phoebe: Yknow, you are 12 years older than her.
Phoebe: Um, yeah sure. Why you wanna call your Mom?
Phoebe: Y'know, for once, I am going to sit down and try to watch one of these things. (just as she sits down).
Phoebe: Oh, how do you play the shadow game?
Phoebe: I dont have time for this.
Phoebe: Ah!!
Phoebe: Alice would never go for it, right?
Phoebe: Unless! She wants to spend the night holding my hair back for me.
[Scene: Phoebes, Phoebe and Frank are watching TV.]
Phoebe: Well, y'know we dont call it that, but yeah!
Phoebe: Ten dollars an hour for what?
Phoebe: No! But she gave me the box that it came in. It had a picture of the bike on the front. (Theyre all speechless) So I would sit on it and my step-dad would drag me around the backyard.
[Scene: The hallway between the two apartments, Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are coming up the stairs.]
Phoebe: You cant have sex with her!
Phoebe: He is sweet. Hes too sweet. He calls me all the time. (Mimicking him) "So did-did you get home from work okay?" "Did-did you get out of the shower okay?"
Phoebe: I dont....
Monica: I love you. (Phoebe leans in to kiss her.) Oh, wait, wait, wait! No hugs. The dresses... Oh what the hell. (the girls hug)
Phoebe: Right, okay, um-mm.
Phoebe: Nooo! Why would you think that?
Phoebe: You really thought it was perfect?
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Joey: Oh, youre Phoebes fan!
Phoebe: Yeah, I guess I do, yeah.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are returning. Phoebe is still on hold.]
Phoebe: Well, I-I wasnt hopping mad, y'know.
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Phoebe: All right all ready.
(Camera moves to Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Joey sitting in living room)
Rachel: Well Phoebe, we gotta do something! (They turn the corner.) Well, yknow. I mean theres no way Joeys gonna make it in time. So Im gonna through the hotel and see if theres any other weddings going on.
Phoebe: Why, nobody good?
Phoebe: Oh, really?
Phoebe: Its a video of my friend giving birth. Could you just bring it back to your apartment?
Rachel: (lifts for a toast) Okay, as everybody has ordered, I would like to start the celebration and make a toast � to Phoebe. She dropped her sock.
PHOEBE: I sound amazing. I, I, I've never heard myself sing before. I mean, except in my own head. Oh, this is so cool, now I can hear what you hear.
Rachel: Definitely! Phoebe, you will not find a single game show host, whos ass I cannot kick.
Phoebe: So what are they doing?
[Cut to the bathroom, Joey is taking a shower and Phoebe knocks on the door.]
Ross: (to Phoebe) Sure, your dresser is missing but this she notices.
Phoebe: Well, because we thought you knew!! Its so obvious! God, that would be like telling Monica, "Hey, you like things clean."
Phoebe: Huh?
Phoebe: This is so typical. I'm always the last one to know everything.
Phoebe: Aww, good. (they hug) What?
Phoebe: Oh no! Why?
Phoebe: Im sorry.
[Scene: the bar, Phoebe is still hugging Ross.]
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Okay, its okay.
(Phoebe jumps on to the table and lays down, Ross follows her and hits his head on the light hanging over the pool table.)
Phoebe: Huh?
PHOEBE: Yeah, maybe, yeah. You know, and, and I'll knock on the door and, and he'll hug me and I'll have a dad. Ya know and I'll, I'll go to his pharmacy and everyone will be really nice to me 'cause, you know, I'm Franks daughter.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is introducing Phoebe, who is playing her guitar for the crowd.]
Phoebe: Oh. (they start kissing again)
Phoebe: Whos singing?
Monica: No! No, she doesnt. Uh Phoebe, what she makesthats uhtheyre sock rabbits. They are completely differentOkay! Okay! Okay! I didnt make it! Im sorry! I totally forgot about tonight and the fact that were supposed to make the presents!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Yeah. Um... I'm out. (throws in cards)
Phoebe: Y'know I had a dream where Ross and Rachel were still together, they never broke up. And we were all just like hanging out, and everyone was happy....
Phoebe: Oh my God Chandler, the one you picked is gone. Its over!
PHOEBE: OK, I wasn't in love with him and I was just helping out a friend.
Phoebe: Oh, yay!
Phoebe: Ooooh, nice.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: 'Dear Ms. Buffay. Thank you for calling attention to our error. We have credited your account with five hundred dollars. We're sorry for the inconvenience, and hope you'll accept this- (Searches in her purse) -football phone as our free gift.' Do you believe this?! Now I have a thousand dollars, and a football phone!
Phoebe: I'm telling you! Oh, okay! This is the part of the musical where there'd be a really good convincing song. (Singing) "Bam-bam, don't take no for an answer. Bam-bam, don't let love fly away. Bam-bam-bam-bam..."