words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around the kitchen table as Ross enters.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Ive never driven it! Okay? Not once! Okay once. Okay, I drive it all the time.
Phoebe: Okay, I can fix this! Okay Monica, Rachel thinks all you can talk about is the wedding. (Rachel glares at her.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Phoebe are counting the invitations as Chandler exits from the bathroom.]
Phoebe: Ooh, I think I wanna trade circles.
Phoebe: Okay, I think I need to do some shopping. (Gets up and leaves.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Phoebe are on the couch as a man enters.]
Phoebe: Hey sweetie!
Phoebe: Yeah! Sure! Ooh, I left my purse up at Monicas. Ill be right back. (She goes to get it.)
Phoebe: What? (He leans in to kiss her.) Oh. (They kiss and Phoebe pauses.) Ooh. (Pause) Whoa! That one kept going. (Exits.)
Joey: So! You and Phoebe huh? How long have you been going out?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Joey enters.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: I know. They were mine.
Phoebe: No, its not! We were just goofing around and I dared him to try them on.
Phoebe: Im wearing his briefs right now.
Phoebe: I think so too. And that little flap? Great for holding my lipstick.
Phoebe: And! Yknow what Jake says? That womens underwear is actually more comfortable. And he loves the way the silk feels against his skin.
Phoebe: There is nothing wrong with Jake! Okay? He is all man! Im thinking even more than you.
Phoebe: Im just saying that only a man completely secure with his masculinity could walk around in womens underwear! I dont think you could ever do that.
Phoebe: Okay whatever.
Joey: Youve seen my huge stack of porn right? (Phoebe nods.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is sitting on the couch as Joey enters strutting.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Joey: Check it out. (He turns around, pulls down his pants, and shows Phoebe that hes got panties on.) How much of a man am I?!
Phoebe: Wow! Nice! Manly and also kind of a slut.
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: Huh.
Phoebe: Thats great Joe!
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: Hmm?
Phoebe: I think its important that you do.
Phoebe: Feel better?
Phoebe: Yeah, I understand.
Phoebe: Well, what am I gonna do? I really need my guitar!
Phoebe: No you didnt.
Phoebe: Okay. (Monica closes the door, gets the guitar, and then hands it out.)
Phoebe: What?! They took mine to give to you!
Phoebe: Maybe they dont trust us.
Phoebe: Oh she was looking for you.
Phoebe: What stuff?
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Did Rachel find you?
Phoebe: Well, she really wanted to talk to you now.
Phoebe: (deadpan) And?
(Phoebe and Joey trade looks)
Theodore: How could you know. Why wouldn't you punch me in the stomach? (Theodore walks out... Mike walks towards Phoebe)
Phoebe: Oh sorry. (Shocked) And?!
PHOEBE: Today we're gonna start with some songs about barnyard animals. [singing] Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo, Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo. Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up, And that's how we get hamburgers. Nooowww, chickens!
Jake: (yelling through the window to Phoebe) I miss you already!!
Phoebe: Well why dont you use your key?
Rachel: What? Wait-wait a minute, what? Phoebe, what's the matter?
Phoebe: Im having another heart attack!
Phoebe: Yeah okay... yeah, your mom... okay... She looks nice, I can talk to her.
Phoebe: Oh, no! I- I can't drink this now!
Phoebe: Oh, Boy Scouts could've camped under it!
[Scene: continued from earlier, only now Phoebe joins them.]
Phoebe: Yeah, but not as good as batch 17.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is about to debut Hotel Monica (formerly known as Rachels Room) to Phoebe and Rachel.]
Phoebe: Oh no.
Phoebe: Oh my God, youve got to stop chattering!
Phoebe: Didnt you two already talk?
Phoebe: A little bit.
Phoebe: Oh Ross.
Phoebe: Uck, look at this! Pottery Barn, yuck!
Phoebe: We, you know, we’re different! We don’t care about having a huge party. (She picks up the veil) This is really nice for you, but, oh, please, I put this on? (she puts it on) And, ow, I look (she looks her reflex image on a toaster), why, well, radiant. (pause) All right, well, who cares, I don’t need a pretty veil and a fancy dress.
Phoebe: Yeah... Oh Bitsy, hi. Uhm... listen I just wanted to thank you again for having me here tonight.
Phoebe: When she comes out, you hold her nose, Ill blow in her mouth, and the kid will just (makes a popping sound) right out of her.
Phoebe: Let's just say, I'm glad I'm not Chandler.
Phoebe: Also uhm... I just want you to know what a wonderful man your son is.
Phoebe: Hey! So how was the doctor?
Phoebe: Good.
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: So how was the honeymoon?
Phoebe: Come on in!
(Mischa does so, and Sergei complements Phoebe, and says it slowly)
Phoebe: You have got to be kidding me!
Phoebe: Monica! Thats not right! Start with where.
Phoebe: (pauses as he figures out how to answer that) Because Im normal! That was the one legacy my grandmother left me, and I know you wanted it as an engagement present.
Mike: Look Phoebe, It's not about you. I just never wanna get married again.
(Joey and Phoebe laugh.)
Phoebe: (entering) Hi, sorry I'm late, I couldn't find my bearings.
Phoebe: Hmm, I wonder why. Pervert!
PHOEBE: I don't know, it's just, you know...monkeys, Darwin, you know, it's a, it's a nice story, I just think it's a little too easy.
Chandler: (to Phoebe) I hit her in the eye! I hit her in the eye! This is the worst break-up in the history of the world.
Phoebe: Well, it's a problem for me, which means it's a problem for you 'cause I'm a cop. (Shows the badge.)
Phoebe: (sits down) Yeah, I feel great. 'Cause we're moving in together.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey enters with several magazines and runs up to Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Okay! Ooh-ahh, I'm gonna go pack. I'm gonna go pack my ass off!
Phoebe: No, that would be, "Why are you being cute?"
Phoebe: (To Joey) Okay quick, help me get this off! (Motions to her top.)
Phoebe: (in a very posh accent) Theodore... Bitsy... What a delight!
Joey: (To Phoebe) Im so happy!
Phoebe: Youre gonna get pregnant.
Phoebe: Ah! Oh my God! You r-r-rotten boys!
Phoebe: Oh, you came on to Ross!
[Monica gives Phoebe a surprised expression and goes over to Ross and Chandler.]
Phoebe: And Joey, get me a bottle of wine and glasses? (He begrudgingly does so.)
Phoebe: Dinner was good!
Phoebe: Hey!
(He looks up at her face and Phoebe, slipping out of character, smiles back at him. Joey's voice becomes soft and warm.)
Phoebe: Oh, so you're Monicas boss?
Phoebe: Well, one of you has to take the first step! And it should be you, because shes the one whos leaving. Its harder for her!
Phoebe: Well, it was just, it was all so crazy, you know. I mean, Chandler was in the closet, counting to 10, and he was up to 7 and I hadn't found a place to hide yet. I-I-I meant to tell you, and I wrote it all down on my hand. See, all of it. (shows him her hand)
Phoebe: Oh you you made pesto?
Phoebe: (To Monica) I didnt see this on the menu.
Phoebe: I made it myself.
Phoebe: Well, its no pesto.
Phoebe: Because I cared enough to lie!
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, Im going to be out there spreading joy to the people. I mean, last year, I spread a little joy but not really enough. So this year, Im going to do the whole city.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe is putting out some Sunflower seeds as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: Yeah, I can see where Id be your best shot but, no. Im sorry, but I think its twisted.
Phoebe: I dont even know how that would work!
Phoebe: Ooh Monica!
PHOEBE: I, I don't wanna meet my father over the phone. What am I gonna say, like 'Hi, I'm Phoebe, the daughter you abandoned. Oh, by the way, I broke your dog.'
Phoebe: But why?!
Phoebe: Thank you. (To the other woman) No? (She nods.) All right. (She goes to another pairing.) Oh, its so nice to see you.
Phoebe: But Monica, he loves his job so much! Can you just give him another chance? Please?
Phoebe: Love it!
Phoebe: But
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Okay. Okay, but you cant fire him today.
Phoebe: What?! No, you cant, you cant leave me here with them! Were baby-sitting!
Phoebe: Yeah, oh Im sorry, it must be really hard to hear! I tell ya, its a lot easier having three babies play Bringing in the Noise, Bringing in da Funk on your bladder! Im so sick of being pregnant! The only happiness I get is from a cup of coffee, which of course is decaf, causeOh! Im pregnant!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Monica are plugging in a bunch of electronics.]
Phoebe: Hi.
Phoebe: Yeah, and these are my friends. People. This is Vince, Vince the people.
PHOEBE: C'mon you guys. It's a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You know what, you can actually see old lobster couples walkin' around their tank, ya know, holding claws like. . .
PHOEBE: Listen. You are not going to believe this but, that is not me singing on the video.
Phoebe: Monica!
Phoebe: Im, Im breaking up with you.
Phoebe: (simultaneously) Im breaking up with you!
PHOEBE: Um, is, is there any chance that you're rounding up? You know, like from, like 20?