words in movies
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is at the sink and Chandler is looking at a ring brochure.]
Phoebe: Now, have you told anyone else?
Phoebe: You told me.
Phoebe: Yeah well, once again not knocking pays off. I only wish you hadnt been on the toilet.
Phoebe: Hey! So Chandler, wanna go to the coffeehouse?
Phoebe: Yeah, coffeehouse.
(Joey returns with a piece of pizza as Chandler and Phoebe exit.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Phoebe: So how are things going with Paul?
Phoebe: Thats easy! You just have to think of him as a-as a jar of pickles that wont open.
Phoebe: No thats what you do when you want to get the truth out of someone.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Watch this.
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Okay.
Phoebe: Hi Paul!
Paul: Hi Phoebe.
Phoebe: So how are things going with you?
(Phoebe turns to Rachel and mimes remove a lid of a jar. Ross enters and Paul motions for Rachel to leave with him now.)
Phoebe: Yeah! That was so weird, huh?
Ross: Phoebe, whyd you do it?
Phoebe: I didnt do it! It was Chandler! Hes Hes mad at you!
Phoebe: Please, I think you know why.
Phoebe: Come on Ross, youre a paleontologist, dig a little deeper.
Phoebe: Do you think thats something that hed be mad at you for?
Phoebe: Well then I think thats it.
Phoebe: Oh, if thats what you want you then you really should run his head under hot water and bang his head against a table.
[Scene: A Jewelry Shop, Chandler and Phoebe are looking at engagement rings.]
Phoebe: Okay, so maybe you dont get her a ring. Maybe you-maybe you do something different. Yknow? Maybe you get her an engagement bracelet, yknow? Or an engagement tiara? Orooh! An engagement Revolutionary War musket! (Picks one up from the display in the corner.
Phoebe: Huh? Can you just imagine getting down on one knee and handing her this gorgeous piece of weaponry?
Phoebe: (coming over after returning the musket) Wait a minute, no, this is, this is the reason you brought me. Okay? I know how to haggle. So let me handle this from here on out.
Phoebe: Or not, whatever.
Phoebe: Chandler, I-I will handle this! (To the jeweler) How much is it?
Phoebe: We will give you $10.
Phoebe: We stand firm at $10.
Chandler: Uh, credit card. (Reaches for it then realizes) Oh no! No-no, but I left my credit card with Joey. (To Phoebe) Okay, Ill go get it. You guard the ring.
Phoebe: Okay. (To the jeweler) Listen, Im sorry about before. Do you have anything her for $10.
Phoebe: Ill give you $1 for them.
Ross: Hey, remember how Chandler and Phoebe blew us off yesterday?
[Scene: The Jewelry Store, Phoebe is busy trying on virtually everything in the store. Shes got earrings, rings, bracelets, and enough necklaces to put Mr. T to shame on.]
Phoebe: Okay umm, Id also like to try on the tiara. (The male jeweler hands it to her.) Oh yeah. Okay. (Puts it on.) (To the jeweler) What do you think, too much?
Phoebe: Okay. Then, take the tiara back and let me hold the musket again. (He hands it to her and Phoebe poses in front of one of those small mirrors.) Somethings missing. Its not Okay oh, let me see the ring my friend picked out.
Phoebe: Oh my God!! (She runs after him, but sets of the security system, which locks the stores door and brings down a set of bars behind her, caging her in.) No! What?! Help me! Let me out! Now! (Points the musket at them.)
[Scene: The Jewelry Store, Chandler is entering with his credit card and Phoebe is holding out another ring for him.]
Phoebe: Chandler, I found the perfect ring. (Holding it out for her.)
Phoebe: Oh my God Chandler, the one you picked is gone. Its over!
Phoebe: Some guy bought it. Im sorry. I tired to stop it but they (points to the jeweler) put me in jail!
Phoebe: The little jail between the doors!
Chandler: Phoebe, I asked you to guard the ring!
Phoebe: I know, Im sorry! But yknow, this ring is better! Monica never even saw the other ring.
Phoebe: Maybe it was the guy.
Phoebe: (entering from her room) Hey.
Phoebe: Its not a stupid gumball machine looking ring! Its a beautiful ring!
Phoebe: Okay. There may be a way that we can get the other ring back. Cause I heard the guy tell the jeweler where he was going to propose. So maybe we can get him to trade rings or something.
Phoebe: Well you certainly cant give her that stupid gumball ring.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Chandler and Phoebe are entering. This is the place where the guy who bought Chandlers ring is going to propose.]
Phoebe: There he is! (Points.)
Phoebe: Wow! Youre good! After this, we should solve crimes.
Phoebe: Oh, okay. (Walks over to him.) Excuse me sir? Could you come with me please? You have a phone call.
Phoebe: It is your office.
Phoebe: John?
Phoebe: (To Chandler) Here he is.
Phoebe: Wow! I would trade.
Chandler: No-no! This is my fiancee (Phoebe) and her heart was set on that ring. You dont want to break her heart now do you?
Phoebe: Yeah, do you want to break a dying womans heart?
(Phoebe coughs.)
Phoebe: Yes, and it is my dying wish to have that ring. See, if Im not buried with that ring then my spirit is going to wander the nether world for all eternity
Phoebe: (entering) Hi.
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Oh I know, I helped pick out the ring.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: She sells drugs to kids. (The guard looks at the lurker.)
Phoebe: Huh?
Phoebe: Joey! Those are my maternity pants!
Phoebe: Yes! I will have the green salad, umm the house salad, and waters fine.
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Look, why dont you just pay for it yourself?
Phoebe: Well Its a date.
Phoebe: God Joey, this is taking forever!
Phoebe: She was?
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Yeah! (She exits.)
Chandler: I am trying to open your eyes, my man! Don't you see, if you lived with Phoebe she's always gonna be there. You're gonna get home, she's there. You go to bed, she's there. You wake up and oh yes, she's there!
Phoebe: Come on Joey, dont make me feel badly about this.
Joey: is because they were friends first. Y'know? So I asked myself, "Who are my friends?" You and Phoebe, and I saw you first. So
Phoebe: Oh, I wouldnt miss this.
Phoebe: Écoutez, je vais vous dire la vérité. C'est mon petit frère. Il est un peu retardé. (Translation: Listen, I will tell you the truth. He's my little bother. He's a bit retarded.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is entering without touching anything with his hands. Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
Monica: Phoebe, hes gotta be in the room for that to work.
Phoebe: There you go! (She continues to work him over with her elbows and he continues to yell in pain.)
Phoebe: (returning) Hey you guys, Hums While He Pees just asked me out!
Phoebe: Thats good. I got to admit, I thought it was something else.
Phoebe: Youre right! Youre right. Dont say it.
Phoebe: Thats really beautiful. What does it mean?
Phoebe: I do too. (They kiss.)
Phoebe: (plays with a thumbtack remover) Yeah?
Phoebe: Yeah, Ill do that. So who gets to be yours?
Phoebe: Okay, I would ring the bell to distract him and then I would knock the gun out of his hand with a Chinese throwing star.
[Scene: Ross' apartment, Monica and Phoebe sitting on the floor next to Clunkers basket.]
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
Phoebe: Will you get us better gifts?
Phoebe: The donation we made earlier, we k…, we w…, we want it back.
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Annie! Hi. Listen we got a problem with Joey Tribbiani, apparently he missed his audition. Who did you speak to in my office? Estelle, no, I don't know what I'm going to do with her. No. All right, so your husband leaves and burns down the apartment, the world does not stop.'
Phoebe: Shh! Get me out of here.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica are making some sandwiches.]
Phoebe: No you cant quit college! No! Youre in college? Really?
Eric: Well, I guess Ill see you at the wedding. (Exits and Phoebe follows him into the hall.)
Phoebe: Dont interrupt me!!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey, you guys. Listen, Im sorry that I was hogging the game before(Sees the top ten list)Oh my God! Your friends have some unfortunate initials!
Phoebe: (looking up) There it is! Oh, look at that! Isnt Mother Nature amazing?
Phoebe: Yeah, swing music is so out.
Phoebe: Hes just trying to show Joey how much he means to him.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is debriefing Rachel on her rejection earlier that day and telling her what she shouldve done. Ross and Phoebe are watching.]
(Phoebe winks and licks her lips while eyeing Chandler.)
Phoebe: Yes, and then I realized I'm against that, and uh, so then we bought some, (sees Monica pointing at her chest) uh, boobs.
Chandler: Well, close to (Notices Rachel leaning in to hear and decides to write it on a piece of paper and hand it to Monica as Phoebe averts her eyes.)
Phoebe: Okay, so after this audition, who decides who gets it?
Phoebe: Oh my God! How did you get back here?!
Phoebe: Thats not mine.
Phoebe: How do you know?
(The security guard from before approaches and Phoebe tries to turn her back on him.)
Phoebe: Yeah! What have you got to lose? Yknow you might even end up with someone really special (whispers) if you pick my guy.
Phoebe: Or, we could not tell them we know and have a little fun of our own.
Phoebe: Thats a good idea for a business!
Phoebe: Okay, I understand why Superman is here, but why is there a porcupine at the Easter Bunnys funeral?
Phoebe: Because my psychic is dead! She mustve read the cards wrong!
Phoebe: Yes, thank you. You see, this is how normal people are supposed to react to drums.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Ross are doing a crossword, Monica is cooking, and Chandler is still staring at his phone.]
Phoebe: What? What happened to the window in the attic?!
Phoebe: Hey there, you handsome thing. (Rachel and Phoebe exit.)
Phoebe: (To Ross) Kyles ex-wife? You were supposed to divert her not date her!
Phoebe: Oh no! (She runs to see.) (Running back, excitedly) Oh! Wow!!!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey.
Phoebe: Oh, anyway, they say, if we want, we can see it tonight.
Phoebe: Oh thats right!
Phoebe: Ugh, I hate this year!
Phoebe: Umm, okay I would like to talk to you about your toner needs.
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: But-but you know you cannot get involved with your assistant.
Phoebe: Although, dont feel like you cant visit.
Phoebe: May I ask why?
Phoebe: Chandler?
Phoebe: Yeah! Now, why do you want to kill yourself?
Phoebe: Weee!!! (Ross pushes her and lets go.)
Phoebe: IWe gotta get Monica. (She starts to leave.)
Chandler: Well, I heard that you thinking about asking Phoebe to move in with you and I thought maybe, we should have a talk. Man to uh, me.
Phoebe: (excited) John Glenn is here?!
Phoebe: Oh sorry, boyfriend!
Phoebe: Yeah, hes gotta go.
Phoebe: You guys were right. Hes just too excited about everything. I mean Im all for living life, but this is the Gellers 35th anniversary. Okay? Lets call a spade a spade this party stinks.
Phoebe: Wait, what was that? That sounded like someone being nice to you.
Phoebe: No, whatever! Anything!
(Phoebe grabs each of them by an ear.) Monica and Rachel: Ow! Ow! Ow!
Phoebe: (muffled through the floor) Yeah, look I was with my friend downstairs and we hear everything up here that you do, and I am sick and tired... (I tired but the rest is unintelligible).
Phoebe: No! No! I-I meant for the baby!
Phoebe: Uh-huh, great story! I'm going!
Earl: Phoebe? The lady who sells toner?
Phoebe: Yes.
Phoebe: Umm, look it, you-you cant kill yourself.
Phoebe: No-no I cant! I cant let you do it!
Phoebe: I can smell it a little, bake the pie.
Phoebe: Sure! (Thinks.) Umm, where are you from?
Phoebe: Okay, well maybe not on those levels.
Phoebe: No, its fate!
Phoebe: No! I definitely don't wanna get married. No I just wanted to make sure you didn't want to too. Whew! Coz you know when we move in and you start changing your mind there's gonna be hell to pay mister!
Phoebe: And on my way over here, I stepped in gum. ...What is up with the universe?!
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
Phoebe: (turning around and picking a cup off of a table) Oh, hey, look, I found coffee! (handing her the cup) Okay, lets skedaddle.