words in movies
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is at the sink and Chandler is looking at a ring brochure.]
Phoebe: Now, have you told anyone else?
Phoebe: You told me.
Phoebe: Yeah well, once again not knocking pays off. I only wish you hadnt been on the toilet.
Phoebe: Hey! So Chandler, wanna go to the coffeehouse?
Phoebe: Yeah, coffeehouse.
(Joey returns with a piece of pizza as Chandler and Phoebe exit.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Phoebe: So how are things going with Paul?
Phoebe: Thats easy! You just have to think of him as a-as a jar of pickles that wont open.
Phoebe: No thats what you do when you want to get the truth out of someone.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Watch this.
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Okay.
Phoebe: Hi Paul!
Paul: Hi Phoebe.
Phoebe: So how are things going with you?
(Phoebe turns to Rachel and mimes remove a lid of a jar. Ross enters and Paul motions for Rachel to leave with him now.)
Phoebe: Yeah! That was so weird, huh?
Ross: Phoebe, whyd you do it?
Phoebe: I didnt do it! It was Chandler! Hes Hes mad at you!
Phoebe: Please, I think you know why.
Phoebe: Come on Ross, youre a paleontologist, dig a little deeper.
Phoebe: Do you think thats something that hed be mad at you for?
Phoebe: Well then I think thats it.
Phoebe: Oh, if thats what you want you then you really should run his head under hot water and bang his head against a table.
[Scene: A Jewelry Shop, Chandler and Phoebe are looking at engagement rings.]
Phoebe: Okay, so maybe you dont get her a ring. Maybe you-maybe you do something different. Yknow? Maybe you get her an engagement bracelet, yknow? Or an engagement tiara? Orooh! An engagement Revolutionary War musket! (Picks one up from the display in the corner.
Phoebe: Huh? Can you just imagine getting down on one knee and handing her this gorgeous piece of weaponry?
Phoebe: (coming over after returning the musket) Wait a minute, no, this is, this is the reason you brought me. Okay? I know how to haggle. So let me handle this from here on out.
Phoebe: Or not, whatever.
Phoebe: Chandler, I-I will handle this! (To the jeweler) How much is it?
Phoebe: We will give you $10.
Phoebe: We stand firm at $10.
Chandler: Uh, credit card. (Reaches for it then realizes) Oh no! No-no, but I left my credit card with Joey. (To Phoebe) Okay, Ill go get it. You guard the ring.
Phoebe: Okay. (To the jeweler) Listen, Im sorry about before. Do you have anything her for $10.
Phoebe: Ill give you $1 for them.
Ross: Hey, remember how Chandler and Phoebe blew us off yesterday?
[Scene: The Jewelry Store, Phoebe is busy trying on virtually everything in the store. Shes got earrings, rings, bracelets, and enough necklaces to put Mr. T to shame on.]
Phoebe: Okay umm, Id also like to try on the tiara. (The male jeweler hands it to her.) Oh yeah. Okay. (Puts it on.) (To the jeweler) What do you think, too much?
Phoebe: Okay. Then, take the tiara back and let me hold the musket again. (He hands it to her and Phoebe poses in front of one of those small mirrors.) Somethings missing. Its not Okay oh, let me see the ring my friend picked out.
Phoebe: Oh my God!! (She runs after him, but sets of the security system, which locks the stores door and brings down a set of bars behind her, caging her in.) No! What?! Help me! Let me out! Now! (Points the musket at them.)
[Scene: The Jewelry Store, Chandler is entering with his credit card and Phoebe is holding out another ring for him.]
Phoebe: Chandler, I found the perfect ring. (Holding it out for her.)
Phoebe: Oh my God Chandler, the one you picked is gone. Its over!
Phoebe: Some guy bought it. Im sorry. I tired to stop it but they (points to the jeweler) put me in jail!
Phoebe: The little jail between the doors!
Chandler: Phoebe, I asked you to guard the ring!
Phoebe: I know, Im sorry! But yknow, this ring is better! Monica never even saw the other ring.
Phoebe: Maybe it was the guy.
Phoebe: (entering from her room) Hey.
Phoebe: Its not a stupid gumball machine looking ring! Its a beautiful ring!
Phoebe: Okay. There may be a way that we can get the other ring back. Cause I heard the guy tell the jeweler where he was going to propose. So maybe we can get him to trade rings or something.
Phoebe: Well you certainly cant give her that stupid gumball ring.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Chandler and Phoebe are entering. This is the place where the guy who bought Chandlers ring is going to propose.]
Phoebe: There he is! (Points.)
Phoebe: Wow! Youre good! After this, we should solve crimes.
Phoebe: Oh, okay. (Walks over to him.) Excuse me sir? Could you come with me please? You have a phone call.
Phoebe: It is your office.
Phoebe: John?
Phoebe: (To Chandler) Here he is.
Phoebe: Wow! I would trade.
Chandler: No-no! This is my fiancee (Phoebe) and her heart was set on that ring. You dont want to break her heart now do you?
Phoebe: Yeah, do you want to break a dying womans heart?
(Phoebe coughs.)
Phoebe: Yes, and it is my dying wish to have that ring. See, if Im not buried with that ring then my spirit is going to wander the nether world for all eternity
Phoebe: (entering) Hi.
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Oh I know, I helped pick out the ring.
Phoebe: Um, the off-Broadway play people said 'You were pretty but dumb.'
Phoebe: I brought you my old maternity clothes! (Sets a bag on the counter.)
Phoebe: You apologize to the tree right now or I am calling for backup. (The woman calls her bluff.) (Screaming at no one in particular) Backup! Backup!!
Phoebe: Ooh, uh (She grabs her coat and runs out.)
Phoebe: What time? Maybe we can share a cab!
Phoebe: So what do you guys want for an engagement present?
Phoebe: Oh no. No-no-no, dont do that! How could I live with myself if I knew I was depriving the world of your music.
Phoebe: I won! I won! I finally won!
Rachel: No! Phoebe just because I'm alone doesnt mean I wanna walk around naked. I mean, you live alone, you don't walk around naked.
The Security Guard: (To Phoebe) Was it her quarter?
Phoebe: Yeah. Yeah, I'll be alright.
Phoebe: But she just came up here!
[Scene: A Fire House, Phoebe has gone to break up with Vince.]
Phoebe: I justI don't want us to jump into something we're not ready for.
Phoebe: (shocked) Really?!
Phoebe: Okay, maybe it was a trick question. (Plays a few chords) Um, Rachel can we do this now?
Phoebe: Oh my God!Eh! Well
Phoebe: Oh Joey, Im so sorry. You want some of my breakfast?
[Scene: The delivery room, Dr. Harad is back and checking on Phoebe.]
Phoebe: What about my cab?
Phoebe: Oh, come on! I think hes ready to get rid of, what did you call it? The cheap knock-offs and dinosaur junk.
Phoebe: Well you dont.
Phoebe: Oh-oh, thats your thing.
Phoebe: Why are you dressed as a gladiator?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel return from the class.]
Monica: (to Phoebe) Remember that guy from cooking school I told you about that put cilantro with everything?
PHOEBE: Well, I can't work with people who would do this.
Phoebe: Oh my God, I remember now! We were playing chess!
Phoebe: Sing!!
Phoebe: Wow! Im-Im so happy for you guys. (To Ross) This is so-so, not stupid.
Phoebe: Yeah. And believe me, this suit does not do justice to whats underneath it.
PHOEBE: Oh, some guy she met at the movies.
Phoebe: Oh, okay.
Phoebe: Oh. What's a lurker?
PHOEBE: Ok, I'll walk you out.
Phoebe: Always.
Phoebe: What?!
Rachel: Phoebe, no! This is, this is insane.
Ross: Okay. (Sits down next to Phoebe.) You uh, you wanna hear something weird?
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Always.
Phoebe: I cant. I cant. She dumped me, I mean I totally trusted her and then one day it was Okay, bye Pheebs gone. Y'know what the saddest part is, when we were playing together, that was like the most fun Ive ever had in like all my lives.
Ross: Okay. (Sits down next to Phoebe.) You uh, you wanna hear something weird?
Phoebe: Ross?!
Phoebe: Sorry, mix up. Hey, how was the movie?
Phoebe: Hey Rach!
Phoebe: Have fun. Oh wait, no, dont! I forgot I am totally against that now.
Chandler and Phoebe: ...in you, my endless (Phoebe goes high pitched, Chandler goes low pitched) love. (they both look at each other.) My endless love. (once again they dont match tones, and they just look at each other)
Phoebe: I dont know, its such a long trip.
Phoebe: Oh my god. This is huge. This is bigger than huge. This is like, all right, what's bigger than huge?
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: No, why?
Phoebe: (gasps) Youre pregnant!
Phoebe: Whoa, what kind of party was this?
Phoebe: I think that uh, yours is a question with many answers.
PHOEBE: [entering the kitchen from the party] That's funny, no. Cadillac, cataract, I get it, no I get it, you stay out there.
Phoebe: Or we could use it to call China. See how those guys are doing.
Phoebe: All right, forget it, nevermind, you can have mine.
Phoebe: What are you, what are you talking about? How did this happen?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, later. Rachel is waitressing, Monica is cooking. Phoebe walks in with Steve (Crystal Duck winner Jon Lovitz).]
Phoebe: (interrupting) Whatever! What about you Meg?
Phoebe: Dance karate?
Phoebe: Well, look, why dont you just, why dont you do your Phase Two strip club thing with us.
Phoebe: (to Chandler) Why? Because she can sing and play guitar and do both at the same time?
Phoebe: Oh, I can't believe you guys lasted a whole year!
Phoebe: Good. (After he leaves, she puts on Joey's gladiator helmet and checks herself out in the mirror) I should really start wearing hats!
Rachel: Phoebe! It's 6 o'clock in the morning! Why aren't you at Gary's?
PHOEBE: Yeah, or you know, you could just wish that I didn't have them now.
Phoebe: Good, but wait. Okay, all right, here we go. Now I want you to relax. Take a deep breath. Clear your mind. (Quickly) Which do you like better peanut butter or egg whites?
Phoebe: (to Joey and Chandler) Okay, bye!
Phoebe: So? Did you get the annulment?
Phoebe: Yeah, complicated cause of the love.
Phoebe: Uh-huh, what?
Phoebe: Oh!
Rachel: Phoebe, honey, wanna get some breakfast?
Phoebe: Yes, Denise. Denise!
Phoebe: My roommate.
Phoebe: You didnt tell her did you?
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: Well, I heard youre having a problem with one of the boys in your class. And so I thought I would just come down here and sit you both down, have a little talk and make it all okay. Now umm, the boys name is Stings son.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Joey, and Chandler are sitting and talking as Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Phoebe: So, what did Rachel say when you told her you were still married to her?
Phoebe: What do you mean, comforted her?
Phoebe: For your information, this happens to be a pain like no man will ever experience.
Phoebe: Well lets just hope it works. Yknow nine out of ten marriages end in divorce?
Phoebe: Yeah, Professor and Mrs.
Phoebe: Oh! Yeah, yknow you and Ross are still married.
Phoebe: Just kidding!
Phoebe: Ah-ha! A classic sign of love, the hug!
Rachel: Ah, Paolo, this is Phoebe.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Joey are sitting on the couch.]
Phoebe: All right, well, I just can't think about that right now. I just wanna say good-bye to my Grandma.
Phoebe: Thats all right, thats well, I figured.... (they start to leave as Joey enters.)
Phoebe: Wow! I didn't see that coming! You're-you're asking me out!
Phoebe: (To Ross) Saved your ass.
Phoebe: Hi.
Phoebe: Well, you know that psychic I see?
Monica: Phoebe thats crazy!
[Scene: Phoebes cab, Phoebe and Joey are driving back. Phoebe is driving while Joey is sleeping.]
Phoebe: Get your foot off my contestant! Judge!