words in movies
(Phoebe enters)
Phoebe: Hey!
All: Hey Phoebe!
Phoebe: Yes, I do! Today is Mike and my one-year anniversary.
Phoebe: YEAH!
Phoebe: Uh-uh. Ehm, a Knicks game.
Phoebe: Hey, you know what, I've never had a one-year anniversary before, so no matter where we go, I'm wearing something fancy pants, and... I'm gonna put on my finest jewelry and we're gonna have sex in a public rest room.
[Scene: Madison Square Garden. Mike and Phoebe are walking to their seats.]
Phoebe: Excuse me, anniversary. Excuse me, anniversary. (looking at her ticket). Uhm, sir, could you move your nachos... they’re in my seat. It's my anniversary. (to Mike) Here we are! (Mike nods). Can’t believe it's been a whole year!
Phoebe: ME TOO! I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD LOVE SOMEONE THIS MUCH!
Phoebe: YOU’RE SO GENEROUS AND KIND AND (crowd stops cheering) YOU'RE AMAZING IN BED (everyone hears it and stare at them.) (to everybody) IT’S OUR ANNIVERSARY!
Phoebe: Oh how lame... oh, it’s so tacky, and impersonal.
Phoebe: Oh, it’s the worst way to propose!
Mike: (looks strangely shocked) Excuse me... (he leaves, then Phoebe realizes what she did).
[Scene: Monica’s Apartment. Rachel, Ross, Monica and Chandler are there, Phoebe enters the room]
Phoebe: Hi. I just had the worst anniversary ever.
Phoebe: Well, mine was worse than that.
Phoebe: We were at the game, and this guy proposed to his girlfriend on the big screen thing...
Phoebe: Well, that’s what I said, but it turns out, Mike was planning on proposing to me that same way last night!
Rachel: Phoebe, that’s huge!
Phoebe: Yeah, I really do! Yes, but, after I dumped on the way he was gonna propose to me, I don’t think he’s ever gonna ask again! I mean, I said no in Barbados and now this!
Phoebe: Oh, I don't know, I don't know, isn't that a little desperate?
Monica: I proposed to Chandler! (Phoebe stops herself from laughing) Alright, moving on...
Phoebe: (To Rachel and Ross) Well, do you think I should propose?
Phoebe: Ok, ok, so how should I do it?
Phoebe: Yeah, that does make sense. Ok, now, would... would you two (points to Ross and Chandler) like that?
Rachel: (To Monica, Chandler and Phoebe) Can any of you watch Emma?
Phoebe: No, I've got work and then I'm proposing..
[Scene: Madison Square Garden. Phoebe and Mike are watching the game. There's cheering, but Phoebe seems distracted.]
Phoebe: Uhuh, uhuh... (seems distracted)
Phoebe: I'm not. I'm praying. (looking up) Please let the Knicks win... Thank you Thor! (Mike is standing up) Where... where are you going?
Phoebe: Well, I think you should wait.
Phoebe: Well, if you don't... if you don't hold it in, you don't get all the nutrients.
(We see the screen where it says: "Mike will you marry me?" and then we see Phoebe and Mike on the screen. Phoebe stands up and kneels in front of Mike.)
Phoebe: Mike Hannigan... will you marry me? (Mike looks bewildered)
Phoebe: That's not very enlightened!
Phoebe: Hey, hey! (shouting) Boo us? Boo you!
[Scene: Mike and Phoebe at a restaurant.]
Phoebe: That woman at the game didn't know what she was talking about. Mike, obviously you have balls.
Phoebe: (the waiter puts a piece of cake on the table) I would love it. Consider it forgotten... But just so you know... however and whenever you decide to propose, I promise I'll say yes. Whether... whether, you know, it is in a basketball game, or in sky writing, or you know, like some lame guy in a cheesy movie who hides it in the cake.
Phoebe: It's in the cake, isn't it?
Phoebe: What's the matter with me? How do I keep ruining this? I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
(Phoebe has this weird, anxious, nervous look on her face)
Phoebe: Oh my God!
(Mike starts to kneel in front of Phoebe.)
Mike: Phoebe, I...
Phoebe: Wait! Oh wait! (she takes off a ring that was already on her left ring finger. After that Mike starts to kneel again, but then...) Oh no! (She was wearing rings on all her fingers and her thumb, and takes all of these off.)
Phoebe: Uh-huh! (and now Mike kneels properly)
Mike: Phoebe, I love you. There's no-one else in the world I would ask to marry me... three times. But I wanna take care of you, have babies with you, and grow old with you... Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
Phoebe: Yes!
Phoebe: I love you more!
(They kiss again, and Phoebe looks at the ring.)
[Scene: Central Perk, the next day Rachel, Phoebe, and Chandler are there as Monica enters.]
Monica: (To Phoebe) Oh my God, my ass is sweating! (on phone) Please! Please! Can you come? Its today at four.
(Joey and Ross enter. Phoebe and Mike are sitting on the couch, reading a magazine.)
Phoebe: All right. (she releases him). He is a good guy. You’re right, he wouldn’t cheat.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is telling Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler about Emily's ultimatum.]
Phoebe: No, I know, Im just nervous. Y'know its just y'know Moms dead, dont talk to my sister, Grandmas been sleeping a lot lately. Its like the last desperate chance to have a family, y'know, kinda thing. Youre so sweet to wait with me.
Phoebe: Listen! You have to help me pick a dress 'cause I'm meeting Mike's parents tonight! (Rachel gasps)
Phoebe: No Im serious. I mean Im intuitive, but my memory sucks.
Leslie: Aw come on Phoebe would you just think about it?
Phoebe: Okay (she takes a huge, clearly obsolete cellphone she keeps in a closet and gives it to Monica)
Chandler: (entering, with Phoebes book.) Here you go Phoebe! Here you go Phobo! Phewbedo! Phaybobo.
[Scene: Lara and Jenis Massage, Phoebe is interviewing for a job.]
Monica: Do you wanna live outside?! Because its gettin cold! (To Phoebe) She gets tons of catalogs and umm, shell fold down the pages of the things she thinks that Id like.
Phoebe: (sings) What I said you had...
Monica: (to Phoebe) Would you stop?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah!
Monica: Phoebe, its okay. You dont have to tip toe around me. I-Ive been thinking about it and umm, yknow what? Im okay about not having that new relationship feeling
Phoebe: No, look, don't touch that!
[Scene: The slot machines, Phoebe is still feeding quarters into the one-armed bandit as the lurker peeks over the top of the machines.]
Phoebe: Yeah, it's beautiful.
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Phoebe is trying to teach Joey French.]
PHOEBE: And a crusty old man said I'll do what I can and the rest of the rats played moroccas. That's it, thanks, good night.
Phoebe: Joey's having a party and he wasn't gonna invite us?
Phoebe: What a mean thing to say! I would never tell you its not your birthday!
Phoebe: I dont know. (Timidly) A cowboy theme?
RACHEL: Oh, what a load of crap. That is a dot. Your mother is up in heaven going, 'Where the hell is my lily, you wuss?' OK, Phoebe, that is not a tattoo, this is a tattoo. [she bends over and bears her tattoo right when Ross returns]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Phoebe are there again, only now theyre not talking to each other. Phoebe is loudly stirring her coffee.]
Phoebe: She's a waitress.
Phoebe: Y'know, it's even worse when you're twins.
Joey: Well, hey! Well... (he takes his mug to toast Phoebe) Here's to Phoebe, who's found the greatest guy in the world! To Phoebe and... (a bit uncertain) I wanna say Mike? (pause) To Phoebe and Mike!
PHOEBE: No. This whole like playing-for-money thing is so not good for me. You know, I don't know, when I sang "Su-Su-Suicide", I got a dollar seventy-five. But then, "Smelly Cat", I got 25 cents and a condom. So you know, now I just feel really bad for Smelly Cat.
Phoebe: (reading the recipe on the back of the bag) Yes!! (Realizes.) Ohh.
Phoebe: (taking Ross aside) Have umm, have you thought anymore about you and Rachel?
Phoebe: Oh no! No God, definitely not jealous!
Phoebe: Okay!
Phoebe: Yeah, Ive discovered that Ross forgot to take his brain medicine, uh, now without it, uh, in the brain of Ross, uh womens names are interchangeable, through-through no fault of his own.
Phoebe: (entering) Hi guys!
Phoebe: Okay. Then, take the tiara back and let me hold the musket again. (He hands it to her and Phoebe poses in front of one of those small mirrors.) Somethings missing. Its not Okay oh, let me see the ring my friend picked out.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe is there.]
Phoebe: All right, whats going on there? (Points to a picture.)
Phoebe: Hey oh, Rach wait! Do you want to go to a movie tonight?
Phoebe: Oh, Im Phoebe Buffay. Im one of Rosss best friends.
Phoebe: Oh good, oh Joey and Chandler are back.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is smoking out on the balcony, Phoebe is absent.]
(Phoebe quietly wanders in, to join the tableau.)
Rachel: No, no-no-no. Phoebe, this was my fault and besides yknow what? Im fine here.
Phoebe: Damn it woman, pull yourself together! Have some pride, for the love of God.
(A man sits down next to Phoebe and lights up a cigarette.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are on the couch talking. Phoebe is getting coffee.]
Phoebe: Im so glad you could make it.
Monica: Thank you. Come meet my friends. This is uh, Phoebe.
Phoebe: I know.
Phoebe: No, I want you to have it. I don't want it.
Phoebe: Hey, Lizzie.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: OK, Monica? I had another answer all ready.
Phoebe: Oh, that's fine, no.
Phoebe: Huh!
(Phoebe nods.)
Phoebe: No, I'm fine.
Phoebe: Does, um, anyone wanna see?
Phoebe: What about me? I just found out that Denise is leaving town for a while, I dont have a roommate.
Phoebe: Okay, get out of my kitchen!
Phoebe: You mean in case someone is trying to steal your bamboo sleeping mat or your kettle of fish?
Phoebe: There it is!
Monica: Alright. Phoebe?
Phoebe: Thanks.
Phoebe: Oh, I told the stripper to be here at five. Thats good right?
Joey: Y'okay, Phoebe?
Phoebe: No, you threw out Phoebe. I'm Ms. Regina Phalange. Phalange!
Phoebe: (while Monica drags her in the restaurant) Get your garlic-peelers off me!
Phoebe: Joey? How could you just let them leave?
Phoebe: No, as soon as something opens up we'll move right in. Unless it doesn't have a pool, I need a pool. (Turns away from him.)
(Phoebe opens the can and reacts.)
Phoebe: Oh, well... 'cause.... you just... I don't like this question.
Phoebe: Oh, like that's a word.
Phoebe: What?
Monica: Phoebe?
Phoebe: And-and a power tie?
Phoebe: Did he mention us?
Phoebe: Definitely not his mother.
Phoebe: (screaming) Wooo!! Hoo!!
Phoebe: I love you too. (they hug) Please don't... Don't turn into... you know... French bitch! (they hug again)
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: Does anyone want the rest of this Pop-Tart?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Phoebe are talking.]
Phoebe: There he is! There he is!
Phoebe: A couple hours.
Phoebe: You'd already broken up.
Phoebe: ...Flame Boy.
Phoebe: Well, the only thing you can do. Sleep with Ralph Lauren.
Rachel: No! No! Phoebe, come on! I dont want to switch! Please come on! I can throw wet paper towels here!
Phoebe: You know, if you want, I'll do it with you.
Rachel: Oh thank god, if Phoebe�s going, can we please take Emma home?
Phoebe: Umm, look we dont, we dont really know each other so it would be really easy to just forget about this, but there seems to be something between us. And I dont know about you but that doesnt happen to me a lot.
Phoebe: Wow, Mike Hannigan...You sure know how to make a girl say "Hell yeah!"
Phoebe: Well, just buy the damn boat! (Shes still working her way through her tray of booze.)
PHOEBE: I'm so sorry honey, but, okay, Rachel gave this guy her number and, um, she doesn't want Ross to answer the phone.� So, you have to intercept all his calls.
Phoebe: (to Rachel) What's the matter? Why so scrunchy?