words in movies
(Joey and Ross enter. Phoebe and Mike are sitting on the couch, reading a magazine.)
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: It's really crazy! The hall, the dress, the food... I-I had no idea how expensive this stuff was!
Phoebe: So what did you two do about it?
Phoebe: But really, it does seem like this money could be put to better use?
Phoebe: Yeah! Now, how would you feel if we gave all the wedding money to charity and we just got married at City Hall?
Phoebe: Yes. We're here to make a rather sizeable donation to the children.
Phoebe: Well, I think you're gonna appreciate it the crap out of this one (she gives him a check)
Phoebe: And we don't want any recognition. This is completely anonymous.
Phoebe: Mr. X and Phoebe Buffay.
Phoebe: Buffay is spelled B-U-F-F-A-Y.
Phoebe: Sure, I so glad we did this. It feels so good!
Phoebe: Oh, look! And we get these free t-shirts! (she takes a t-shirt which was on the counter)
Phoebe: Mhm... it's moist.
Phoebe: Hello, is this the creepy residence?
Phoebe: Awe, this is so sweet of you! But you know what? I won’t be needing a veil, I actually won’t be wearing a dress at all!
Phoebe: No, no, no, we’re not having a big reception, we took the money we were gonna spend on a wedding and we donate them to the children charity.
Monica: That’s crazy! (Phoebe looks bewildered). I am sorry. I just can’t imagine giving up my one wedding day like that!
Phoebe: We, you know, we’re different! We don’t care about having a huge party. (She picks up the veil) This is really nice for you, but, oh, please, I put this on? (she puts it on) And, ow, I look (she looks her reflex image on a toaster), why, well, radiant. (pause) All right, well, who cares, I don’t need a pretty veil and a fancy dress.
Phoebe: City Hall.
Phoebe: It’s ok, it’s ok. I made my decision. What I really want is a great big wedding (she covers her mouth)
Phoebe: Well, I’ll just ask for it back!
Phoebe: It’s for our wedding day! Right, now, is this guy gay or straight, because one of us gonna have to start flirting.
Phoebe (to Mike): Gay, go.
Phoebe: The donation we made earlier, we k…, we w…, we want it back.
Phoebe: Yeah. See, that money was for a big wedding, that we thought we didn’t want, but it turns out we do.
Phoebe: I am sorry. I am, but this wedding is just really important to me.
Phoebe: Hey, that’s not fair! A person’s wedding is important! And especially to me! Ok? I didn’t have a graduation party! And I didn’t go to Prom. And I spent my sweet sixteen being chased round a tire yard by an escaped mental patient who is his own words wanted to “kill me” or whatever. So I deserve a real celebration and I am not gonna let some sweaty little man make me feel badly about it.( She storms out)
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Mike enter]
Phoebe: (Lightly) Oh! It ended okay. One of my friends shot him.
Phoebe: Yeah, I really do. You know, I had nothing growing up. (thinks for a few seconds) Just like the kids I took the money from.
Phoebe: Look, I can't have a wedding with this money now. It's tainted.
Phoebe: And if that guy at the charity gives us a hard time, my friend hasn't shot anyone in a really long time.
[Scene: The New York City Children's Fund building. Phoebe and Mike are entering.]
Phoebe: (to the Charity guy) We're back!
Phoebe: Yeah, because you know what, it's... it's all about the children.
(the Charity guy smiles wanting to take the check, but Phoebe pulls it back again. His smile fades.)
Phoebe: Although... it's also about the wedding... Ugh, alright... here. (she gives the check and pulls it back again) No... Oh God... Oh!
Charity guy: If I haven't said so already sir, (sarcastically pointing to Phoebe) congratulations!
Mike: (takes the check from Phoebe) Ok, look! Enough! Alright? I'm stepping in. I'm putting my foot down! As your future husband I'm going to make this decision for us. (thinking) Now... what do you think we should do?
Phoebe: But... but... but we're giving you this!
Charity guy: Yeah... And I'm giving it back to you... Come on! Consider it a contribution. (gives the check to Phoebe)
Phoebe: (looks at the amount on the check, and gasps) Well, this is very generous!
Phoebe: Oh, is that you?
Phoebe: Um, the off-Broadway play people said 'You were pretty but dumb.'
Phoebe: I brought you my old maternity clothes! (Sets a bag on the counter.)
Phoebe: You apologize to the tree right now or I am calling for backup. (The woman calls her bluff.) (Screaming at no one in particular) Backup! Backup!!
Phoebe: Ooh, uh (She grabs her coat and runs out.)
Phoebe: What time? Maybe we can share a cab!
Phoebe: So what do you guys want for an engagement present?
Phoebe: Oh no. No-no-no, dont do that! How could I live with myself if I knew I was depriving the world of your music.
Phoebe: I won! I won! I finally won!
Rachel: No! Phoebe just because I'm alone doesnt mean I wanna walk around naked. I mean, you live alone, you don't walk around naked.
The Security Guard: (To Phoebe) Was it her quarter?
Phoebe: Yeah. Yeah, I'll be alright.
Phoebe: But she just came up here!
[Scene: A Fire House, Phoebe has gone to break up with Vince.]
Phoebe: I justI don't want us to jump into something we're not ready for.
Phoebe: (shocked) Really?!
Phoebe: Okay, maybe it was a trick question. (Plays a few chords) Um, Rachel can we do this now?
Phoebe: Oh my God!Eh! Well
Phoebe: Oh Joey, Im so sorry. You want some of my breakfast?
[Scene: The delivery room, Dr. Harad is back and checking on Phoebe.]
Phoebe: What about my cab?
Phoebe: Oh, come on! I think hes ready to get rid of, what did you call it? The cheap knock-offs and dinosaur junk.
Phoebe: Well you dont.
Phoebe: Oh-oh, thats your thing.
Phoebe: Why are you dressed as a gladiator?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel return from the class.]
Monica: (to Phoebe) Remember that guy from cooking school I told you about that put cilantro with everything?
PHOEBE: Well, I can't work with people who would do this.
Phoebe: Oh my God, I remember now! We were playing chess!
Phoebe: Sing!!
Phoebe: Wow! Im-Im so happy for you guys. (To Ross) This is so-so, not stupid.
Phoebe: Yeah. And believe me, this suit does not do justice to whats underneath it.
PHOEBE: Oh, some guy she met at the movies.
Phoebe: Oh, okay.
Phoebe: Oh. What's a lurker?
PHOEBE: Ok, I'll walk you out.
Phoebe: Always.
Phoebe: What?!
Rachel: Phoebe, no! This is, this is insane.
Ross: Okay. (Sits down next to Phoebe.) You uh, you wanna hear something weird?
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Always.
Phoebe: I cant. I cant. She dumped me, I mean I totally trusted her and then one day it was Okay, bye Pheebs gone. Y'know what the saddest part is, when we were playing together, that was like the most fun Ive ever had in like all my lives.
Ross: Okay. (Sits down next to Phoebe.) You uh, you wanna hear something weird?
Phoebe: Ross?!
Phoebe: Sorry, mix up. Hey, how was the movie?
Phoebe: Hey Rach!
Phoebe: Have fun. Oh wait, no, dont! I forgot I am totally against that now.
Chandler and Phoebe: ...in you, my endless (Phoebe goes high pitched, Chandler goes low pitched) love. (they both look at each other.) My endless love. (once again they dont match tones, and they just look at each other)
Phoebe: I dont know, its such a long trip.
Phoebe: Oh my god. This is huge. This is bigger than huge. This is like, all right, what's bigger than huge?
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: No, why?
Phoebe: (gasps) Youre pregnant!
Phoebe: Whoa, what kind of party was this?
Phoebe: I think that uh, yours is a question with many answers.
PHOEBE: [entering the kitchen from the party] That's funny, no. Cadillac, cataract, I get it, no I get it, you stay out there.
Phoebe: Or we could use it to call China. See how those guys are doing.
Phoebe: All right, forget it, nevermind, you can have mine.
Phoebe: What are you, what are you talking about? How did this happen?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, later. Rachel is waitressing, Monica is cooking. Phoebe walks in with Steve (Crystal Duck winner Jon Lovitz).]
Phoebe: (interrupting) Whatever! What about you Meg?
Phoebe: Dance karate?
Phoebe: Well, look, why dont you just, why dont you do your Phase Two strip club thing with us.
Phoebe: (to Chandler) Why? Because she can sing and play guitar and do both at the same time?
Phoebe: Oh, I can't believe you guys lasted a whole year!
Phoebe: Good. (After he leaves, she puts on Joey's gladiator helmet and checks herself out in the mirror) I should really start wearing hats!
Rachel: Phoebe! It's 6 o'clock in the morning! Why aren't you at Gary's?
PHOEBE: Yeah, or you know, you could just wish that I didn't have them now.
Phoebe: Good, but wait. Okay, all right, here we go. Now I want you to relax. Take a deep breath. Clear your mind. (Quickly) Which do you like better peanut butter or egg whites?
Phoebe: (to Joey and Chandler) Okay, bye!
Phoebe: So? Did you get the annulment?
Phoebe: Yeah, complicated cause of the love.
Phoebe: Uh-huh, what?
Phoebe: Oh!
Rachel: Phoebe, honey, wanna get some breakfast?
Phoebe: Yes, Denise. Denise!
Phoebe: My roommate.
Phoebe: You didnt tell her did you?
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: Well, I heard youre having a problem with one of the boys in your class. And so I thought I would just come down here and sit you both down, have a little talk and make it all okay. Now umm, the boys name is Stings son.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Joey, and Chandler are sitting and talking as Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Phoebe: So, what did Rachel say when you told her you were still married to her?
Phoebe: What do you mean, comforted her?
Phoebe: For your information, this happens to be a pain like no man will ever experience.
Phoebe: Well lets just hope it works. Yknow nine out of ten marriages end in divorce?
Phoebe: Yeah, Professor and Mrs.
Phoebe: Oh! Yeah, yknow you and Ross are still married.
Phoebe: Just kidding!
Phoebe: Ah-ha! A classic sign of love, the hug!
Rachel: Ah, Paolo, this is Phoebe.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Joey are sitting on the couch.]
Phoebe: All right, well, I just can't think about that right now. I just wanna say good-bye to my Grandma.
Phoebe: Thats all right, thats well, I figured.... (they start to leave as Joey enters.)
Phoebe: Wow! I didn't see that coming! You're-you're asking me out!
Phoebe: (To Ross) Saved your ass.
Phoebe: Hi.
Phoebe: Well, you know that psychic I see?
Monica: Phoebe thats crazy!
[Scene: Phoebes cab, Phoebe and Joey are driving back. Phoebe is driving while Joey is sleeping.]
Phoebe: Get your foot off my contestant! Judge!