words in movies
(Phoebe arrives, guitar in hand.)
Phoebe: Did I miss it, did I miss it?
Phoebe: I just thought we might be here for awhile. You know, things might get musical.
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Phoebe is playing a song. Chandler, Monica, and Ross are there as well.]
Phoebe: (singing)
(Ross gives Phoebe a dollar.)
Phoebe: Thanks, Ross.
Phoebe: Ok.
Phoebe: Oh, look, twins. Hi, guys. Oh, cute, cute.
Phoebe: Hey. Ooh, look at you, dressy-dress.
(Phoebe has heard them arguing and comes down the hall, taking them into a broom closet.)
Phoebe: Hey, hey, ok, all right, that's it! Get in here. Come on. My god, you guys, I don't believe you. There are children coming into the world in this very building and your negative fighting noises are not the first thing they should be hearing. So just stop all the yelling, just stop it!
Phoebe: Don't make me do this again, I don't like my voice like this.
(Phoebe goes to leave the room, but the door is locked.)
Phoebe: Ok, who wants to hear something ironic?
Phoebe: (singing) They found their bodies the very next day, they found their bodies the very next...(sees Ross and Susan staring at her) la la la la la la.
Phoebe: This is so great.
Phoebe: I mean, well, 'cause when I was growing up, you know my dad left, and my mother died, and my stepfather went to jail, so I barely had enough pieces of parents to make one whole one. And here's this little baby who has like three whole parents who care about it so much that they're fighting over who gets to love it the most. And it's not even born yet. It's just, it's just the luckiest baby in the whole world. (pause) I'm sorry, you were fighting.
[Scene: Carol's Room, she is ready to give birth. Everyone is there except for Phoebe, Ross, and Susan, who are in the broom closet.]
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross has used a broom to open the air vent in the ceiling. Phoebe is wearing a janitor's uniform, ready to go up in the vent.]
Phoebe: (reading the nametag on the uniform) Hi, I'm Ben. I'm hospital worker Ben. It's Ben... to the rescue!
(Ross and Susan lift Phoebe up into the vent.)
Phoebe: Well, Susan, I see what appears to be a dark vent. Wait. Yes, it is in fact a dark vent.
(Ross and Susan run to the delivery room, leaving Phoebe dangling from the vent.)
Phoebe: (from the air vent overhead) You guys, he's beautiful!
(They look up towards the vent and wave at Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Susan, he looks just like you.
Phoebe: Oh, look, look, he's closing his eyes. (screen goes blank) Look, he's opening his eyes. (picture comes back)
Phoebe: Oh, look, he's closing his eyes again.
Phoebe: No, you threw out Phoebe. I'm Ms. Regina Phalange. Phalange!
Phoebe: (while Monica drags her in the restaurant) Get your garlic-peelers off me!
Phoebe: Joey? How could you just let them leave?
Phoebe: No, as soon as something opens up we'll move right in. Unless it doesn't have a pool, I need a pool. (Turns away from him.)
(Phoebe opens the can and reacts.)
Phoebe: Oh, well... 'cause.... you just... I don't like this question.
Phoebe: Oh, like that's a word.
Phoebe: What?
Monica: Phoebe?
Phoebe: And-and a power tie?
Phoebe: Did he mention us?
Phoebe: Definitely not his mother.
Phoebe: (screaming) Wooo!! Hoo!!
Phoebe: I love you too. (they hug) Please don't... Don't turn into... you know... French bitch! (they hug again)
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: Does anyone want the rest of this Pop-Tart?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Phoebe are talking.]
Phoebe: There he is! There he is!
Phoebe: A couple hours.
Phoebe: You'd already broken up.
Phoebe: ...Flame Boy.
Phoebe: Well, the only thing you can do. Sleep with Ralph Lauren.
Rachel: No! No! Phoebe, come on! I dont want to switch! Please come on! I can throw wet paper towels here!
Phoebe: You know, if you want, I'll do it with you.
Rachel: Oh thank god, if Phoebe�s going, can we please take Emma home?
Phoebe: Umm, look we dont, we dont really know each other so it would be really easy to just forget about this, but there seems to be something between us. And I dont know about you but that doesnt happen to me a lot.
Phoebe: Wow, Mike Hannigan...You sure know how to make a girl say "Hell yeah!"
Phoebe: Well, just buy the damn boat! (Shes still working her way through her tray of booze.)
PHOEBE: I'm so sorry honey, but, okay, Rachel gave this guy her number and, um, she doesn't want Ross to answer the phone.� So, you have to intercept all his calls.
Phoebe: (to Rachel) What's the matter? Why so scrunchy?
Phoebe: Are you gonna go over there?
Phoebe: Okay, I think I need to do some shopping. (Gets up and leaves.)
Joey: Oh yeah? (To Phoebe) Hi, Ken Adams, nice to meet you.
Phoebe: Eww, I don't wanna do that.
Phoebe: Ooh. Oh. It looks like, like a tiny little person drowning in your cereal. (Ross gives her this look, like 'Yeah, doesn't it', and gets up to dump it down the drain.)
Phoebe: No! Look-look! Theres the coffee table they stole from us!
Phoebe: Ok, you weren't there.
Phoebe: Yeah, it was really hard.
[Scene: Madison Square Garden. Phoebe and Mike are watching the game. There's cheering, but Phoebe seems distracted.]
Rachel: Yeah, yknow what? Dont look at it. (Realizes the display is their living room) Seriously, dont look at it. (Tries to pull Phoebe away.)
Phoebe: Yes. Yes! Fine! I am someone! You want me to say it? I have doubts! (Pause) I'm sorry! (Puts her head down.)
Phoebe: Hey! It's raining. I don't want to fly in the rain. So
Frank Jr.: Oh, I think you're right. Oh, wow. Phoebe, I don't think I can give one of them up. I mean, you know, they drive me crazy, but they're my babies.
Phoebe: I dont know why I was so nervous about this. And I dont know why Frank and Alice are always complaining. This is so easy.
Ross: Phoebe, are you, are you mad at me, or something? 'Cause if are please, tell me what it is I did!
Monica: Ok, Mike, enough is enough, now you love Phoebe and she loves you, so you need to get over your whole "I never want to get married" thing and step up!
Phoebe: All right.
Phoebe: Chandler, easy, easy. Go to your happy place. La la la la la la la.
Phoebe: Oh, I'd like that.
Phoebe: It's like a gift.
[Scene: A restaurant, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Gary are on a double date. Chandler is yawning.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Ross are in the kitchen, Rachel and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Phoebe is, you guessed it, still on hold.]
Phoebe: Oh! okay. Wait, are we in Joey's imagination?
Monica: Y'know what? You're right Phoebe. You're right. Thank you! (Gets up to find Chandler.)
Phoebe: Based on this play? ...Based on this play!
Phoebe: I got it for your wedding and I ordered it weeks ago, and it finally got here!
[Scene: Central Perk, time lapse. Phoebe is now looking at the covers of two different books.]
Phoebe: Oh, no wonder I don't feel full.
Phoebe: Okay, time to bring up the rest of the cups. (She goes and opens the door to Joey.) Oh, hi Joey!
Phoebe: Ree! Ree! Ree! Ree! Ree!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Time lapse. Jack is still on the couch, picking his teeth with his feet on the table. Phoebe and Judy are sitting on the table looking at him. Ross and Chandler are sitting by the window talking. Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen fooling with Rachels trifle. Monica walks into the living room from the kitchen.]
PHOEBE: And he's going to be paying this woman? Why doesn't he just give her like a throne, and a crown, and like a, you know, gold stick with a ball on top.
Monica: Hey, come on Phoebe, you can understand why this would be weird for me.
Phoebe: Yes. Yes I am. Oh my God, Im gonna have a baby! (Joey and Phoebe hug.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]
Phoebe: Yeah, my mom used to put her head in the oven. Well, actually, she only did it the one time. But it was pretty weird.
Phoebe: Yes, when I first met you, you were like, "Blah, blah, blah." I was like, shhh!
Phoebe: - and there's five hundred extra dollars in my account.
Phoebe: God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! (Joey just shakes his head.) Joey, you can't say anything!
Phoebe Sr: I really dont think its a very good idea, Phoebe.
Phoebe: Okay. (Hands him a napkin.) So, what are you?
Monica and Phoebe: Shut up!
Rachel: Everybody? Shh, shhh. Uhhh... Central Perk is proud to present the music of Miss Phoebe Buffay.
(Phoebe hides her eyes in shame. Rachel is starring at them wide-eyed and open-mouthed. Joey and Ross are stunned to temporary silence.)
Phoebe: Ok, good! (pause) You guys were so scared! There was no way I was gonna dump this...(a pigeon swoops down, scaring Phoebe who drops the bowl on the street) Oh God, no! (pause) I think I broke your bowl.
[Phoebe turns back around but Rachel is gone. Ross enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is on the phone with her mother. Phoebe, Rachel, and Ross are there.]
[Cut to Phoebe in another part of the store.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Everyone's sitting on the couch and Phoebe enters.]
PHOEBE: It's not that bad.
Phoebe: Oh, Rachel.
Monica: Phoebe, you get the bear, uhm, Joey, you get the robot, and Chandler and I get the dog. Ok, and the race is going to go (Takes two cups and marks the start and finish lines with them) from here to here. Now the one who comes in last, stays!
Phoebe: Nothing, you just have to be cool with it.
Phoebe: (entering, with Gary) Hey!
[Scene: Monicas childhood bedroom (which has been turned into a gym), Monica is lying on the treadmill as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: All right, we'll se you and Mike at the restaurant in a couple hours.
Phoebe: Yeah. Except for, y'know when youre on a date and youre getting along really great but the guys translator keeps getting in the way.
Phoebe: That doesnt lock does it?
Chandler: Let me see this guy. (Phoebe hands him the picture.) W-H-Wow! Dont show this to Monica! And dont tell her about the W-H-Wow!
[Scene: Monica's apartment, Phoebe is singing.]
Phoebe: About what?
Phoebe: Well, he didn't tell me.
Phoebe: What surprise party?
Phoebe: Yeah, and theyve been coming by all day. They love it!
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Phoebe is talking at the phone, Monica is listening amused.]
Phoebe: Okay, fine! Fine! (Takes the oyster and pretends to eat it while dropping it on the floor) Mmm hmmmmm .
David: Bye Phoebe. (He gets in and the cab drives off. Joey walks up and witnesses that event.)
Phoebe: (in a sexy voice) Oh? (Takes the phone from Rachel.) Hello you.
Joey: Phoebe. Whaddyou think a good stage name for me would be?