words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Gary, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there.]
Gary: (To Phoebe) Would you like some more coffee, baby-doll?
Phoebe: I'm fine, thanks.
(Monica leaves and Chandler moves to talk to Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Nope. (Chandler nods in agreement.)
Gary: I know, really well. In fact, I'm gonna ask Phoebe to move in with me.
Gary: (To Phoebe) I'll see you after work sweetie. (Kisses her.)
Phoebe: Okay. Bye!
Phoebe: So, what movie should we see?
Phoebe: What?! Really?!
Phoebe: I can't believe this!
Monica: Relax! It's Phoebe! Not you!
Phoebe: No, but it is fast. Isn't it?
Phoebe: No, I like him a lot but I don't think I'm ready for this!
Phoebe: I don't know. I'll just handle itI'll ask you to talk to him!
Phoebe: Because you are so afraid of commitment! You talk to him, make him scared like you! Make him a man!
Chandler: (To Phoebe, behind Monica's back) Still terrified, I'll take care of it. No problem. (When Monica turns back he smiles and kisses her, when she turns away he nods that he'll do it to Phoebe.)
Chandler: Well, I heard that you thinking about asking Phoebe to move in with you and I thought maybe, we should have a talk. Man to uh, me.
Chandler: Uh, are you crazy? Are you insane? If you live with Phoebe, you two are gonna be y'know, live-living together!
Chandler: I am trying to open your eyes, my man! Don't you see, if you lived with Phoebe she's always gonna be there. You're gonna get home, she's there. You go to bed, she's there. You wake up and oh yes, she's there!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is drinking coffee as Chandler enters.]
Phoebe: Hmm, did you talk to Gary about the moving in thing?
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: You are useless! Freaking out about commitment is the one thing you can do! The one thing! And you can't even do that right! God!
Phoebe: Ohh!! God! (Gary enters and she sees him) Ooh! (To Chandler) Get out of here, good for nothing.
Gary: (To Phoebe) Hi sweetie. (Kisses her.) Hi, can I talk to you for a second?
Phoebe: Yeah! Okay. (They move to the couch.)
Phoebe: Thanks! Okay. (They sit down.)
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: Uh-hmm.
Phoebe: No that's not true. If you're not moving forward, you're just staying still. And staying still is good. Watch this. (She stays still for a brief second.)
Gary: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: That is so sweet. But don't you think it's a little too soon? I mean there's so much we don't know about each other.
Phoebe: I justI don't want us to jump into something we're not ready for.
Phoebe: I really don't want to mess up what we have. I'm justI'm worried it's gonna be a big mistake.
Phoebe: Which is why my answer is yes!
Phoebe: Uh-huh! (They hug.) I'm so happy. (She's not happy.)
Phoebe and Gary: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: We're moving in together! Isn't it great! Yay!
Phoebe: I know, I'm so excited!
Phoebe: Well, you're not more excited than I am! No way! I'm the most excited!
Phoebe: Okay, yeah, I'll see you later! Don't forget about the moving in!
(Phoebe closes the door behind him.)
Phoebe: I couldn't tell him no. He got so sad. Maybe it'll be all right. I do really like him a lot and probably do it eventually anyway and plus, think of all the money I'll save on stamps.
Phoebe: No, I just heard when people live together, they split the cost of stamps. Don't they?
(Rachel enters with the cat, wearing the oven mitt, and startles Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Oh, I'm sorry, the oven mitts really freaked me out.
[Scene: Gary's precinct, Phoebe is entering.]
Phoebe: No, nothing.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: No, as soon as something opens up we'll move right in. Unless it doesn't have a pool, I need a pool. (Turns away from him.)
Gary: Phoebe, can I talk to you for a second?
Phoebe: Uh-huh!
Phoebe: (sits down) Yeah, I feel great. 'Cause we're moving in together.
Phoebe: Yeah, uh-huh, there was nothing. (Pause) Can I get some water?
Phoebe: Umm, yeah! Today's.
Phoebe: (looks at the paper) Are these for rent! I thought people were just bragging!
Gary: Let me tell you what I think might be going on. (Phoebe looks down in shame.) No-no-no, don't look at the table. Look at me. (Points to his eyes and she does so) Okay, I think somebody asked someone to move in with them. And I think someone said, "Yes" but now she's having doubts because things are moving to fast for someone. Does that sound at all possible to you?
Phoebe: Yes. Yes! Fine! I am someone! You want me to say it? I have doubts! (Pause) I'm sorry! (Puts her head down.)
Gary: Phoebe
Phoebe: Yeah?
Gary: Phoebe, it's okay that you feel this way. I mean it is soon. And there's a lot of things we don't know about each other, and I just figure that everything I really like. And the things I don't know, I get to learn about at someplace with both our names on the mailbox.
Phoebe: That's so sweet.
Phoebe: Living with you would make me happy.
Gary: Phoebe, you don't have to say that.
Phoebe: No, I really wanna live with you! I wanna move in with you!
Phoebe: Yes. Definitely! Yes! Let's live in an apartment that we both live in! (Hugs him.)
Phoebe: Oh wait, one sec. One sec. (Goes to the mirror) Hey you! Behind the glass! Who are you looking at! I've always wanted to say that when I was in one of these rooms, (sees the look on his face) which was never!
Phoebe: I like waking up with you too. (Looks out the window) Oh! It's such a beautiful morning. (Some birds are singing outside the window) Oh, I can stay here all day.
Phoebe: We could have breakfast in bed
Phoebe: Okay. (He grabs his gun and shoots the bird.) Oh! Oh no.
Phoebe: (entering) Oh good, you're all up.
Rachel: Phoebe! It's 6 o'clock in the morning! Why aren't you at Gary's?
Phoebe: Oh yeah, that's over.
Phoebe: He shot a bird!
Rachel: Phoebe, are you okay?
Phoebe: Yeah. Yeah, I'll be alright.
Phoebe: (catches it) Nah, I don't feel like playing. (She sets the ball down on the table and everyone gasps.)
Rachel: Phoebe, honey, wanna get some breakfast?
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: Really?! Oh thats so exciting! Thank you! Thanks Mon! Oh but Mon, if you touch my guitar again Ill have to pound on you for a little bit.
Phoebe: Oh, thank you. I hope... I hope you know how much you mean to me.
Phoebe: Well, it just, it doesn't feel like playing anymore, it feels like work. It's like I'm working in the field.
Phoebe: See? Im doing it. I am totally doing it. (Suddenly it stops working.) I lost it.
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
Monica: Oh, you can't show Phoebe this! She hates those corporate massage chains.
Phoebe: (Takes mike) Thanks, hi. Um, I wanna start with a song that means a lot to me this time of year. (Shakes bell as an introduction) (Sung:)
Phoebe: Umm, do you know, umm Sipowicz?
Phoebe: (laughs and picks up another lure) And this?
[Scene: Phoebes apartment building, in desperation she has wrapped up the smoke detector in a blanket and is going to throw it into the trash chute.]
(Chandler and Phoebe look bored to death. Monica scores and laughs)
Phoebe: (Clears Throat) Rach, so, that guy there. Straight or gay?
Phoebe: Do you have my birth certificate?
Monica: Phoebe is going to say "Yes" to David. See, that's what happens when you meddle in people's lives!
Phoebe: .and I said Vicrum you can't just call every time you get lonely you know, you, you gave up that right when you slept with Rachel.
Bitsy: Phoebe, why don't you come in the living room and meet our friends?
Phoebe: Just pretend they're not even here! It's OK Monica, when that spotlight hits you it so bright you won't see anyoneanyway.
Chandler: Okay, okay-okay, ah, Chloe works with that guy Issac. Issacs sister is Jasmine. And Jasmine works at that message place with Phoebe. And Phoebes friends with Rachel. And thats the trail, I did it!
Phoebe: Oh we can't, we already have plans.
Phoebe: Alright, here's my $7.50. (Hands them the money) But I think you should know that this money is cursed.
Phoebe: Are you kidding?! Another week with that sip, Ill kill myself!
Phoebe: No! No! Its-its uh a real thing! Anyone can get ordained on the Internet and perform like weddings and stuff!
Monica and Phoebe: (sympathetic) Ohh!
Phoebe: You mean the time you broke the ketchup bottle and cleaned it up with Monicas guest towels?
[Scene: The Girls apartment. Phoebe is dialing the phone and Rachel runs in the door.]
Phoebe: What? (He leans in to kiss her.) Oh. (They kiss and Phoebe pauses.) Ooh. (Pause) Whoa! That one kept going. (Exits.)
Phoebe: Yeah well, maybe she shouldve spent a little less time decorating and a little more time in the bedroom.
Phoebe: Well, no, no, wait, wait, wait. All right, I gotta go. Just listen. Promise me, that you will wait a minute before you call her.
Phoebe: No reason! That would just be a really big surprise, right?
Phoebe: Oh, my first massage today is this incredibly gorgeous guy, and every time I see him I just want to do things to him that Im not allowed to charge for.
Phoebe: Oh. Ha-ha-ha. All right, anyway
Phoebe: You're welcome. I remember when I first came to this city. I was fourteen. My mom had just killed herself and my step-dad was back in prison, and I got here, and I didn't know anybody. And I ended up living with this albino guy who was, like, cleaning windshields outside port authority, and then he killed himself, and then I found aromatherapy. So believe me, I know exactly how you feel.
Phoebe: Give me your hands. (He does and she smells his left hand.) Strings. Gimme it! (He gives her his right hand and she smells it as well.) Pick. Do you want to learn to play guitar?
Phoebe: Oh my God!! The baby just kicked!
Phoebe: Well, we were um, sorta invited to go skiing, y'know Rachels sisters cabin. (Chandler goes back to the window to smoke again.)
[Cut back to the living room. Chandler slowly exits the bathroom and gets pushed from behind by Monica and sees Phoebe closing the apartment door.)
Phoebe: My massage client, Arthur? His daughter called and said that some guy that worked for me gave him a really weird massage this afternoon.
Phoebe: What a great night, Chandler cant do it, these guys kissed (Points to Ross and Rachel.)
Phoebe: I..., a jingle? No, no-no-no, no.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, (although its really just Monicas now with Matthew Perry in rehab) Monica is folding her laundry with Ross reading the paper and Phoebe standing in the kitchen.]
Phoebe: I know! But if I didnt work there, what else would I do?
Phoebe: Now Ben, sometimes people may seem like jerks on the outside, but they have famous fathers.
Phoebe: No, no, no, I actually it's any baby animals: kittens, fish babies... You know... especially veal... and this, this nice vein of fat running through it... (she cuts the meat, picks it up with her fork and holds it in front of her mouth, which she keeps closed, trying to overcome her vegetarian thoughts... and... puts it in her mouth... Clearly not enjoying the meat...) Hmmm... yummy (everybody seems okay with it, except Mike. He's making a hmmmm.... face... Then Phoebe swallows it) Hmmm... (at first she likes it, but then, in an instant puts her hand in front of her mouth and runs from the table. You hear a door slamming.)
Phoebe: It was the end of the party, you were probably ironing wrapping paper.
Phoebe: (interrupting him) No listen to me! She is crazy!
(Phoebe leads David into a bedroom)
Phoebe: (to the person that answered the door) Hi, Ursula.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) That's right, I don't... But I was, I was drunk on you!
Phoebe: Oh thats good, I guess shell have a choice between my guy and your weirdo.
Ross: Thank you, thanks. (Sits down next to the girls) Yeah, I lost it. Yknow, Im not gonna play anymore, (to Phoebe) would you, can you finish my set?
(Phoebe starts to listen at the other wall, where Rachel's room is. There, Joey and Rachel are kissing.)
Phoebe: Okay, good. There you go. Doesnt anyone feel better?
Rachel: (fake disappointment) All right. All right Phoebe I will let you have him, but you owe me; you owe me big!
Phoebe: Oh my God! I killed him! I killed another one! And this curse is getting stronger too, to bring down something that big.
PHOEBE: I know.� (sighs)�� So, what's going on with you and Ross?
Phoebe: Oooh! I have something you can do! I have this new massage client... Steve? (pause) Anyway, he's opening up a restaurant and he's looking for a head chef.
Monica: Phoebe, yknow why dont we just go upstairs and have some birthday cake?
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, David has a cab waiting to take him to the airport and hes saying goodbye to Phoebe.]
Ross: Phoebe, she doesnt know that you sneak out every night, she doesnt know that you sneak back every morning, and she doesnt know that youve been living with your Grandmothers for a week now.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is on the phone, Chandler and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Ross is in the kitchen as Rachel enters from her bedroom.]
(Phoebe puts the globe right up next to her eye to try and find the country.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is looking around the shop as Phoebe returns from getting some more coffee.]
Chandler: Monica, you have got to stop this competitive thing! Okay? It's crazy. {Finally! The voice of reason.} I mean, just impress Gary and Phoebe we have to go upstairs and have sex over and over and I'm saying no to this, why? Get your coat.
Phoebe: Well, yknow Im wearing layers and its warm.
Phoebe: (gritting her teeth) Okay, Ill be out in a second.
Phoebe: Mike? Okay! What's his last name?
Ross: (to Phoebe) Tell my son that I love him. (Emily returns with the water.) Excellent! Well, okay, I gotta have some more fun!
Phoebe: (smells at him) Chandler, you stink of cigarettes.
Phoebe: That is brand new information!!
Phoebe: You! An actor?! Thats madness!
Phoebe Sr: (on phone) Ah, oh, hang on a second. (to Phoebe) Come in, come in. (on phone) All right, so think about it, and call me back. (hangs up)
Rachel: Yes, we are very sorry to tell you this, but you, Phoebe, are flaky.
Monica: I can't believe you tried to cut me out. Why Phoebe, why?
Phoebe: Hey Monica, what about your extra tickets?
Monica: Phoebe moved out.
Phoebe: Joey, you pick who ever you want. Okay? You just listen to your heart. What does it tell you? (Mimicking a heartbeat and tapping her chest.) Phoebe, Phoebe.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Janice are sitting on the couch, and Phoebe is sitting next to them in the chair.]
Phoebe: No, we're late!
Phoebe: Oh, yeah try that. (He finishes and looks at her.) So, is that better?
Phoebe: I just lost a whole year of my life.
Joey: Ross! Ross! Ross, listen! Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Rachel or Phoebe?
[Scene: Street, Phoebe is being followed by some guy, as they pass a flower vendor. Phoebe turns around and the guy quickly picks up some flowers and continues following her.]
Phoebe: Yeah, you've... you know, sort of been like a dad to me. I mean, you've always, you know, looked out for me and shared your wisdom...
Phoebe: (knocks on the door) Jason?
Phoebe: Oh wait, oh I forgot... and uhm... I love you... and you have nice eyes.
(Joey gives Phoebe a thumbs up. Phoebe walks out)
Phoebe: Alright, so, can we turn this off? Can we just make it... make them go away? Because I cant, I cant watch.
Phoebe: Yes! I do! All the time! I love them! Oh my God! I did it! Its me! Its me! I burned down the house! I burned down the house!
Dr. Green: (laughs) Poppy. (To Phoebe) Oh, Im gonna be a poppy. (Stops laughing) So when is the wedding?
Phoebe: Of course I do! And Im gonna give it back to you as soon as theyre done with it at the key shining place.
PHOEBE: Yes, hi, Mr. Adelman. Thanks for meeting me.
[Scene: The Vending Machines, Phoebe is buying a soda and Joey is shaking the candy machine.]
Phoebe: And you know, I have a massage client soon.
Phoebe: Well, Ross does. What... You're - you're ruining the plan! Joey, you've - you've fixed him up with his perfect woman!
Phoebe: It’s for our wedding day! Right, now, is this guy gay or straight, because one of us gonna have to start flirting.
Phoebe: (on machine) "Hi, it's me, I'm coming over now. Hey, what if I'm already there when your playing this message?" (to the guys) Is that too spooky?
Phoebe: I do! I do! I do! (Chases her into the hall, but Rachel doesnt stop.) I do! (Gives up.) Ugh, like I can really chase you. Im carrying a litter.
PHOEBE: No. You are the boss of you. Now you march your heinie in there and get that heart tattooed on your hip. GO!!
Phoebe: Oh, Ill get it. (She gets up and grabs a spoon.)
(Monica and Chandler's room. Phoebe, Monica and Chandler have their ears pressed against the wall, and Joey looks at them)