words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe, Chandler, Ross, and Monica are eating breakfast.]
Phoebe: Ugh, PBS!
Phoebe: Ugh, what's right with them?
Phoebe: Okay, 'cause right after my mom killed herself, I was just in this really bad place, y'know personally. So, I just thought that it'd make me feel better if I wrote to Sesame Street, 'cause they were so nice when I was a little kid! No one ever wrote back.
Phoebe: All I got was a lousy key chain! And by that time I was living in a box. I didn't have keys!
Phoebe: This isn't a good deed, you just wanted to get on TV! This is totally selfish.
Phoebe: What-what are you talking about?!
Phoebe: Yeah. So?
Phoebe: Yes there are! There are totally good deeds that are selfless.
Phoebe: Yeah, it's Y'know there'sno you may not!
Phoebe: Are you calling me selfish?!
Phoebe: I'm gonna find a selfless good dead. I'm gonna beat you, you evil genius.
Phoebe: Hey, Joey, when you said the deal with Santa Clause, you meant?
Phoebe: Right. (She turns and opens her eyes in shock.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are there.]
Phoebe: I cannot believe I can't find a selfless good deed! Y'know that old guy that lives next to me? Well, I snuck over there and-and raked up all the leaves on his front stoop. But he caught me and force-fed me cider and cookies. Then I felt wonderful. That old jackass!
Phoebe: I will find a selfless good deed! 'Cause I just gave birth to three children and I will not let them be raised in a world where Joey is right!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is telling Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler about Emily's ultimatum.]
Phoebe: Ooh-ohh!
Phoebe: Why?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Yeah, but you've known Rachel since High School and you cannot just cut her out of your life.
Phoebe: (on phone from Central Perk) Hey Joey, I just wanted to let you know that I found a selfless good deed. I just went down to the park and I let a bee sting me.
Phoebe: Well, it helps the bee look tough in front of his bee friends. The bee is happy and I am definitely not.
Phoebe: (Thinks for a moment.) Aw, dammit! (Slams the phone down.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Phoebe are cooking, Chandler is reading a magazine.]
Phoebe: Ooh, it's not a toy.
Phoebe: (on phone) Hi Joey.
Phoebe: I would like to make a pledge. I would like to donate $200.
Phoebe: Oh, I'm still mad at them but I also now that they bring happiness to lots of kids who's moms didn't kill themselves, so by supporting them, I'm doing a good thing, but I'm not happy about it. So there, a selfless good deed.
Phoebe: No, it sucks. I was saving up to buy a hamster.
Phoebe: Yeah, not the one I had my eye on.
Phoebe: Oh, look-look, Joey's on TV! Isn't that great? My pledge got Joey on TV! Oh that makes me feelOh no! (Realizes that her deed made her happy and therefore it's selfish and covers her mouth in horror.)
Phoebe: Oh.Okay, then it gets worse, 'cause then I told him that I would see him tomorrow night.
Monica: Phoebe!
Phoebe: Ooh, oh no! I have to go! I have a massage appointment.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica sits on the couch and Phoebe is pacing up and down the room.]
Phoebe: Three months? Okay... This is probably none of my business, but uhm, how long do you think you're gonna keep seeing her?
Phoebe: He said: Are you seeing someone? And I said no...
Phoebe: All right, all right, so up until 92-93 he was very trusting, then 94 hit, Carol left him and bamn! Paranoid city!
Phoebe: Hey!
PHOEBE: [singing] There'll be times when you get older when you'll want to sleep with people just to make them like you. . . But don't. Cause that's another thing that you don't wanna do, everybody That's another thing that you don't wanna do.
Phoebe: Okay. (and she walks away)
Chandler: (to Phoebe) Were you there?
Phoebe: Well then youd better hurry! The Angelica! Go! Go! (Bangs on the roof again and off they go.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are there, Chandler is talking to his new friend on the internet.]
Phoebe: Oh, wait, wait!
Phoebe: I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Phoebe: Yeah, I should have told you.
Phoebe: I am happy.
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: No, its not! We were just goofing around and I dared him to try them on.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Gary and Chandler and Monica are all there.]
Phoebe: And a glass of tepid water. (She gathers up all of these things.)
Phoebe: No, no. No.
Phoebe: (points to David) And you thanks for the face massage. Thank you.
Phoebe: No, no...
Phoebe: Oh, well, yeah...
Phoebe: No thanks, I have a good one too. I just, I, I cant see him.
Phoebe: No, uhm... David and I did use to go out... but years ago, and he lives in Minsk. He's only... he's only in town for a couple of days.
Phoebe: This is the happiest dog in the world. I borrowed him from my friend Wendy. Now, you can only keep him until he cheers you up. And he will cheer you up!
Phoebe: Whats the big deal, yknow? Its not like its a real marriage.
Phoebe: Okay, well... guys?
Phoebe: Ohhh. (Hands her back to Rachel.)
Phoebe: No. No! It's just y'know first, I wanna take off all my clothes and have you rub lotion on me.
Phoebe: No no no, Ill be nice, I swear!!! Could you just give me the number for where they are?
Phoebe: (interrupting) Uh-huh, me too. Ross, maybe I should've specified that I'd be needing a grown up doctor.
Phoebe: No. Im just, I wanna, I need to be alone.
Phoebe: (in a nasally voice, from her cold) But I'm unemployed, my music is all I really have now. Well music, and making my own shoes. (She puts her shoe on the table, and it's horribly decorated) Pretty, huh? (Sneezes)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's balcony, Ross and Phoebe are grilling some burgers and hot dogs.]
Phoebe: Oh my god! Shouldn't we stop this?
Phoebe: No. Ive learned my lesson.
Phoebe: So, how does Mona feel about you and Rachel living together?
Phoebe: You gonna tell her?
Phoebe: Broke them all, huh?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is in the kitchen chopping vegetables. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting in the living room.]
Phoebe: Ooh, Joey, thats actually a really good idea!
Sergei: (singing) Touchet, touchet, Miss Americccan pie. (stops to correct Phoebe) Ameri-ccan.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting on the couch as Phoebe enters.]
PHOEBE: Hi
RACHEL: This is Joey, and Phoebe, and this is Chandler, and you remember Ross.
(Phoebe and Mike enter.)
ROSS: Okay.� (They sit.)� So, um, Phoebe tells me you, ah, you play piano.
ROSS: Um . . . ah . . . you know, I'm divorced.� Um, Phoebe, ah . . . Phoebe said you . . . You've been divorced?
Phoebe: Thankfully you dont need me at all (gets up and to leave) so Okay Super aunt see you later! Rachel lets give it six to eight months (she leaves).
PHOEBE: I hope you were using protection.
RACHEL: Oh.� (to Phoebe) Should we send them something back?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Phoebe are there. Monica is suggesting Mockolate recipes to Phoebe.]
PHOEBE: So?� What if they do?
[Scene: The bar.� Two men are chatting with Rachel and Phoebe.]
Phoebe: That wouldn't stand in the way of a true pianist.
Phoebe: But great news about the apartment pants, huh?
Phoebe: I feel really strongly about this, Rachel. Please, don't use this gift certificate. I'm asking you as a friend.
PHOEBE: Yeah. . . I'm sorry.� We weren't really looking for anything to happen with you guys.� I, I have a boyfriend.
Phoebe: Eh, Monica it, it feels so weird, y'know, Chandlers your friend... (hops onto the bed) Oh! Oh my God! Aw, all right take this bed, you can make other friends.
PHOEBE: What about Ross?� What about your moment?� Don't you want to talk to Ross about it?
PHOEBE: (pointing) Better!
Phoebe: Oh! Its okay, you calm down after a while and then people can see how really sweet and wonderful you really are.
PHOEBE: Really?� You're moving on from Ross?
PHOEBE: Well, you have to go back in.
PHOEBE: (to Rachel) He says he can't do that.
Phoebe: Well, if she isn't then cremating her was a big mistake.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey are there as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: Well its just like youre trying too hard. Always making jokes, yknow, you justYou come off a little needy.
Ross: (taking the flyer) Apparently Phoebes mother also goes by the name Julio.
PHOEBE: Oh.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Rachel and Phoebe enter.)
PHOEBE: (pause) Well, good bye.
PHOEBE: I know.� That was fun.� (She and Mike exit.)
Chandler: The weirdest thing happened at the coffee house, I think, I think Phoebe was hitting on me.
Ross: Phoebe, you cant get out of this! Okay? You have to learn how to ride a bike!
Phoebe: A little mirror that when you look into it you see yourself as an old woman.
[Tag Scene: Central Perk.� Phoebe and Mike are on the sofa.� Ross enters.]
Phoebe: (smiling) Uh-huh.
Phoebe: Oh, I like my job.
Phoebe: Wait-wait-wait-wait! So, explain something to me though, if, if nobody tagged Rachel, then isnt the play still going.
Phoebe: So here is a, a very special holiday song that I wrote for some very important people to me. (singing:)
Phoebe: Well then, you should look with us.
Phoebe: Oh no, we have to!
Phoebe: Ooh, who's it for?
PHOEBE: Ooh, ooh, did you ask Stacy Roth?
(Phoebe looks under the couch)
(Phoebe is outside, taking her cell phone out of her bag and making a call. Joey is inside, and his mobile phone starts ringing).
Phoebe: Ahh, toilet seat covers! Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas?
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Monica, Chandler, and Joey are there as Ross enters with Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Because you are so afraid of commitment! You talk to him, make him scared like you! Make him a man!
Others: (simultaneously) Merry Christmas! (except for Phoebe...)
Phoebe: Come on, you guys, you have nothing to lose, I have everything to lose. Do you want me to lose everything? Everything?!
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant Kitchen, shes cooking as Phoebe enters.]
Rachel: We cant find Chandler (Phoebe sticks her head and motions that they found Chandler)s vest. We cant find Chandlers vest.
Phoebe: All right, Im gonna close my eyes and point to someone, and you, whoever I point has to come up with something fun for us to do, and we have to do it.
Phoebe: All right, all right, well just do our best. Okay? So lets say Im the interviewer and Im meeting you for the first time. Okay. "Hi! Come on in, Im uh, Regina Philange."
[Scene: The Hallway, Phoebe walks up to and knocks on Chandler and Monicas door.]