words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are eating breakfast as Joey enters.]
Phoebe: Whats a Movement class?
Phoebe: Oh my God! How bad was it?
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, everyone minus Ross are arriving to inspect the damage. The fire department is still there.]
Phoebe: Coming through! (Has to dodge a fireman) Oh! Coming through! (Sees a cute one.) Oh! Hello! Hi! (Smiles then realizes) No! Right! Coming through!
Phoebe: Oh!
(Phoebe and Rachel return)
Phoebe: Oh, its bad. Its really bad. The only thing in there that isnt burned is an ass. Which I do not remember buying!
Phoebe: No, not usually. But yeah, I could use one right now.
Phoebe: Yes! I do! All the time! I love them! Oh my God! I did it! Its me! Its me! I burned down the house! I burned down the house!
Rachel: Okay Phoebe calm down, theres no need to place blame. Okay? (To the fireman) I warned her about those candles.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is about to debut Hotel Monica (formerly known as Rachels Room) to Phoebe and Rachel.]
Phoebe: Well, since the fire was kinda my fault I guess (To Rachel) you should get to stay here.
Phoebe: Well no, it was my fault so you should get the nice room.
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey is showing Phoebe around.]
Phoebe: Whats that smell?
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Phoebe and Rachel are cleaning up the mess.]
Phoebe: So did you sleep well last night?
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: Yknow what Joey left on my pillow?
Phoebe: Gum!
Phoebe: Yeah I know, it was my candle. My candle!
Phoebe: I dont use a curling iron.
(Phoebe looks at Rachel.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe is reading and Monica runs over and turns on the lamp behind Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Thanks Monica!
Phoebe: What the smell from Joeys? No, I can hardly smell it over here.
Phoebe: I can smell it a little, bake the pie.
Phoebe: Okay.
Monica: Hello? (Listens) Oh yes, one minute please. (To Phoebe) Its for you. Its the fire inspector.
Phoebe: Oh! (Takes the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Yeah this is Phoebe. (Listens) Really?!
Joey: (in a funny voice) Yeah, so it turns out that it wasnt the hair straightener that started the fire. (Rachel prompts him on what to say next.) No-no, it was the candles. Its very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is (Phoebe suddenly enters.) Uhh Uhh Okay. Well, I have to go now. (Phoebe leaves.)
[Scene: Hotel Monica, Phoebe is on the bed playing her guitar as Monica enters.]
Phoebe: Well, not much has changed in the last five minutes.
Phoebe: Oh thats all right. Im still full from your homemade potato chips.
Phoebe: Okay. (Reaches for one.)
Phoebe: (gritting her teeth) Okay, Ill be out in a second.
(Monica leaves and Phoebe closes the door behind her and tries to lock it.)
Phoebe: That doesnt lock does it?
Phoebe: (entering) Hey! Hi!
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Listen umm, yeah okay, I need to talk to you!
Phoebe: Now I know that they said that the umm, the hair straightener started the fire but I think Im partly at fault. You see, I didnt, I didnt tell you but umm, but I-I had recently refilled the tissues and so yknow lets just face it, thats just kindling! So I think its better that I stay at Joeys.
Rachel: No, no-no-no. Phoebe, this was my fault and besides yknow what? Im fine here.
Phoebe: Okay. Oh umm, Chandler, Monica is looking for you.
Phoebe: Yeah she said something about crumbies.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Okay, you have to switch with me! Monica is driving me crazy!
Rachel: No! No! Phoebe, come on! I dont want to switch! Please come on! I can throw wet paper towels here!
Phoebe: No but at Monicas you can eat cookies over the sink!
Phoebe: All right fine! This looks like so much fun. (Examining the bowl of wet paper towels.)
Phoebe: God, what a mess. (She grabs the bowl and heads for Monicas.)
Phoebe: Yes! Your honor?
Phoebe: Oh!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Joey are watching ET.]
Phoebe: Oh he knows! (Quietly) For the most part.
Phoebe: Okay. All right you yellow-bellied-lilly-livered-DRAW!! (they both kick up the foot rests like an old fashioned gun fight.)
Phoebe: I brought a bunch of stuff for the house, so check it out. Ha-ha. (She removes this large ceramic dog that comes up to the second floor and places it next to the house.)
Phoebe: Really?! I won!
Phoebe: (running after her) Rach, its gonna be okay! (To Ross and Joey) You guys are the best!
Phoebe: Well I'm sorry Rachel, but I'm not like you, ok? Not everyone can afford help. (she and Mike leave)
Phoebe: WellButNow, if-if you can achieve positronic distillation of sub-atomic particles yknow before he does, then he can come back. (They hug again.)
(Monica gasps and holds her forehead. Phoebe, Rachel and Ross pull back their heads)
Phoebe: Oh, but, could we not go together? I,I don't wanna be the geek that invited the boss.
Monica: Phoebe, that's how it starts. I don't need to eat the cake, I'll just smell the icing... why don't I just eat a little sliver, or, okay, just a slice or two. And next thing you know, you're 210 pounds and you get wedged in going down the tunnel slide. Phoebe, honey, I know this is hard. Look, if you talk to him, you're going to wanna see him. And if you see him, you're going to want to get back together with him. I know that's not what you want. (pause) Give me your phone.
Phoebe: Oh my god! Look, it's Ross and Rachel. Oh, the plan is working.
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: Oh yeah!
Phoebe: Oh thats so sweet thanks.
Phoebe: This stuff is great!
Phoebe: Ohh.
Phoebe: Well, we just decided that Rachel is gonna be your maid of honor.
Phoebe: Yknow Rach, I think that, I think you should be Monicas made of honor.
Phoebe: Because I think it means more to you.
Phoebe: Wow! Well, if you nail the interview, you'll get it!
Rachel: Yeah okay, you laugh now, but shes gonna be yours. (Phoebe gets suddenly scared.)
Phoebe: Ahh, his work is done.
Phoebe: (looking at the picture again) Man alive!
Phoebe: Hey you guys, I dont mean to make things worse, but umm, I dont want to live with Rachel anymore.
Phoebe: (gasps) My God! What did you order?!
Phoebe: No, wait, oh, what are we sorry about?
Phoebe and Rachel: Hey!
PHOEBE: Ooh, look at you fancy lads. What's the occasion?
Phoebe: Okay!
Phoebe: Oh really. Okay. let me ask you something. Yesterday at the coffee house, I went to the bathroom and when I came back, my muffin was gone-who took it?
(He gets up and gives Monica a rather passionate kiss as Rachel and Phoebe look on in amazement. After the kiss ends, Chandler suddenly realizes what he just did, so he decides to do something rather rash.)
Phoebe: I am definitely gonna watch that!
Phoebe: The coins have finally forgiven me!
Phoebe: We want you to marry her!
Phoebe: Whatever.
Rachel: Phoebe!
Phoebe: Yeah, but you always say that.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are drinking coffee and Phoebe notices a cute guy checking them out.]
Phoebe: Oh no.
Phoebe: (to the girls) Hi! Hi! Listen, my friend Ross is about to be divorced for the third time, but wouldnt you date him?
Phoebe and Rachel: A birthday party.
Rachel: Oh Phoebe, we forgot that party we have to go to.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Didnt you sleep together?
Phoebe: Then change it back!
Phoebe: Really, it doesn't mean anything. I mean, you know, Monica refers to Chandler as Richard all the time!
Phoebe: You guys, you know what I just realized? 'Joker' is 'poker' with a 'J.' Coincidence?
Phoebe: Well, yknow I may have relatives in France who would know. My grandmother said she got the recipe from her grandmother, Nesele Tolouse.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: So how was, how was your date?
Phoebe: (sarcastic) Ah, yeah, he's so adorable, God, he's just so much fun, Joey is the best, I'm glad you're having so much fun here. (She turns around, about to leave)
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe is still investigating the smoke detector trying to figure out how to stop the beeping.]
Phoebe: Oh really? She said she wants to go away with you?
Phoebe and Rachel: Oh no, yeah.
Phoebe: We found your test in the trash, if youre not pregnant(She sees Rachel shaking her head)Its because I am.
Phoebe: You guys, what was the Powerball number again?
Carol: (running over and grabbing the phone away from Ross) (on phone) Phoebe, hang on a second. (Hands Ross her keys) Here, take my car, go pick up your friends.
Phoebe: Hey you guys I'm gonna go out and take a walk.
Phoebe: Oh, it's not!
Ross: Phoebe, why is your bag moving?
Phoebe: I'm sorry, who's this?
Phoebe: No, there's no dog here?
[Scene: Phoebes office, she is arriving without the knowledge that shes been fired.]
Monica: Phoebe, there's a dog sitting on my couch!
Monica: Phoebe, why is there a dog in our apartment?
Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe: Shhhh!
Monica: (walks to Phoebe's door) Phoebe! Phoebe, open up!
Rachel: Phoebe you cant have both of them! You have to pick one!
Monica and Phoebe: Why?
Phoebe: Why?
Phoebe: Are you crazy?
Phoebe: Oh right, because youre so capable of change.
[Scene: The delivery room, Chandler, Frank, and Ross are with Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Yeah, okay.
Phoebe: Where's Chandler?
Phoebe: (to the students) Oh, Im sorry. Im so rude. Does anyone want to come to the movies?
Monica: Okay Phoebe, we should probably go back now.
Phoebe: Wash your hands!!!
Phoebe: Yeah, but you kinda knew that something was going on, didn't you?
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Phoebe is pacing back and forth waiting for someone.]
Phoebe: It's, I mean, it's nothing, I'm fine. It's my friends. They-they have a liking problem with you. In that, um, they don't.
PHOEBE: Why are you guys so upset? It's Old Yeller, it's a happy movie.
Phoebe and Leslie: (singing) Sticky shoes, sticky shoes, always make me smile. Sticky shoes, sticky shoes, next time Ill.... avoid the..... pillleeeee.
Phoebe: Oh please, you are not gonna ditch again like you did with London.
Phoebe: It's a Thanksgiving miracle!
Phoebe: Watching ballroom dancing?
[Scene: Monica and Phoebes, Ross is on the phone, as Phoebe is walking by carrying a lamp.]
[Scene: Hospital. Phoebe is there stroking Coma Guy's hair, when Monica enters with a bunch of balloons.]
Phoebe: well there is no Vicrum, Ross made him up because I never really have been in a long-term relationship, I've never lived with a guy, and I've never even celebrated an anniversary so. (Pause) if that's too weird for you and you wanna leave I totally understand. In fact I'll close my eye's make it less awkward (She sits with her eyes closed and Mike kisses her, Phoebe opens her eyes and like a little child says.) You kissed me.
Phoebe: His first big kids bike, this is so exciting!
Phoebe: Let's see! (Opens her address book.) Oh, you know who's great? Sandy Poophack.
Jack: (approaches her) Phoebe, listen
Phoebe: So, how are things going with crazy? Has she cooked your rabbit yet?
Phoebe: I cant believe that! Now the only thing left of my grandmothers legacy is this crumb. (She picks it up with her finger and holds it out to Monica.) I wish you a long and happy marriage.
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe, this is impossible! We cant do this by Friday! We have to find a place. We have to invite people! We have to get food! Theres just too much to do! Its impossible! We cant do it! We cannot do it! We cannot do it!
Phoebe: (interrupting him) I was just being polite!
Phoebe: Sure!