words in movies
(Rachel enters)
Monica: Hey, Rach! I made a pile of your stuff over on this side of the room. If you could just (Rachel grunts and throws her purse at it) throw your purses at it.
Rachel: Bloomingdales eliminated my department. (Phoebe gasps)
Rachel: No, but they stuck me in personal shopping. Which is just a huge step down!
Rachel: Uh-huh.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, the gang minus Monica and Rachel are eating breakfast. Ross and Chandler are sitting at the foosball table and eating.]
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachels new job.]
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up as her boss, Mr. Waltham, walks in.) Oh! Mr. Waltham, I ah really need to talk to you.
(Its a really good-looking man, Joshua, that Rachel has an instant crush on. Well actually its Tate Donovan, so its not like shes really testing her acting skills.)
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Hi, Im Rachel Green. What can I do for you Joshua?
Rachel: Oh, Im so sorry.
(He walks over to look and some clothes and Rachel quickly turns around and adjusts her bra, trying to show off her assets.)
Rachel: Well, at least thats a great suit.
Joshua: Yeah, but it wasnt much fun dropping it off at the dry cleaners in the skirt. (Rachel laughs) So I need everything down to underwear, so if youre willing, Im all yours.
Rachel: Okay.
Mr. Waltham: Rachel, you needed to speak to me?
Rachel: No-no, that wasnt me! (To Joshua) Well, we should get started. Let me show you my underwear. (Joshua turns at that) The selection of underwear we carry.
(He walks out and Rachel stares at his butt as he leaves. He makes a wrong turn.)
Rachel: Oh-oh, sorry, its this way, its this way. (Motions to the correct way.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are there eating pizza as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: I have the best job in the entire world! The most adorable guy came over today, and I got to dress him up all day!
Phoebe: Rachel has a new doll.
Rachel: Oh, I wish he was a doll, then I could get a Rachel doll and bump them together and make kissy noises. Oh! And he has the most beautiful name, I never realised it, Joshua! Josh-u-a! Joshua! Josh.
Rachel: Hi-e!!
(Rachel laughs hysterically for no reason.)
Rachel: Well, it was just something Josh said about v-necks, but you had to be there.
Rachel: Its Joshua.
Rachel: Why? Honey, what is the big deal?
Rachel: Yeah, thats true.
Rachel: Chandler, what did she say?
Rachel: Beefsteak Charlies?
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, Monica is lugging one of those floor polishing machines through the hallway. Rachel comes up the steps and stops when she sees Monica.]
Rachel: Whoops. (Starts to go into Chandler and Joeys.) Oh, hey, do you need help with that?
Rachel: Ooh, I just feel bad, I never vacuum. (She goes into Chandler and Joeys.)
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: So I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out. Its just so frustrating!
Rachel: Really? It doesnt seem desperate?
Rachel: Hmm-mmm.
Rachel: Yeah but, Ive never asked a guy out before.
Rachel: No. Have you?
Rachel: I dont even know how I would go about it.
Rachel: You know what, Im gonna do that, Im gonna call him up, and Im gonna ask him out. I can do that. Ask him out. (Practising) How you doin? (Calls him) Hi! Joshua? Its Rachel Green from Bloomingdales. (Listens) Yeah, umm, I was wondering if you umm, if you umm, left your wallet at the store today? Well, we found a wallet, and we(Listens) the license? Well, that is a good idea! Uh, well, lets see here this says this license belongs to a uh, uh, belongs to a mister uh, Pheebs, and umm, yeah, so sorry to bother you at home. Ill see you tomorrow. Bye. (Hangs up) (to Phoebe) Youve done that a thousand times?
Rachel: Ohh, God, I just got so nervous that he would say no.
Rachel: Really?! You think that will work?
(We hear a noise coming from Monica and Rachels apartment.)
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachels new job, she is waiting for Joshua and practising how to ask him out.]
Rachel: Would you like to go to a basketball game with me? (Tries again.) You know, its funny, basketball, because I happen to have tickets too (Tries again.) Umm, who likes the Knicks(Joshua comes in from the dressing room.)
Rachel: Oh! Well, as a single woman, who is available, I think you look great!
Rachel: Yep. Oh, yeah, look you great. (She puts her arm in his and checks how they would look as a couple.) Oh yeah. Yeah, this looks great. (Pause) Umm, so you like it?
Rachel: Great.
Rachel: Sure.
Rachel: Yeah-eah-ha!
Rachel: Oh well, you dont want to do that now?!
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Basketball!
Rachel: I uh, I have two tickets to the Knicks game tonight if youre interested, just as a thank you for this week.
Rachel: Really?
Joshua: Yeah, that would be fantastic! My-my nephew is crazy about the Knicks! This is fantastic, thank you so much Rachel. (He takes the tickets and leaves as Mr. Waltham returns.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is debriefing Rachel on her rejection earlier that day and telling her what she shouldve done. Ross and Phoebe are watching.]
Rachel: I have an extra ticket. An extra ticket. Not, two tickets, I have an extra ticket.
Rachel: He didnt turn me down! Hes at the game isnt he? I got the date, Im just not on it!
Rachel: Wow! Monica!
Rachel: Honey, this is not your fault, just because you guys had a fight, it does not justify her sleeping with someone.
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is sitting at her desk as Mr. Waltham comes in.]
Mr. Waltham: Rachel, one of your customers seems to have left his billfold. A Joshua Bergen.
Rachel: Really?
Rachel: Yes! I will! Absolutely! (She takes out his license and her license and holds them face to face with each other. She then proceeds to act like Dark Helmut in Spaceballs, and mimic a conversation between the two of them.) Hello, Rachel. Hi, Joshua. I left my wallet here on purpose. Really? Yes, I just wanted to see you again. Oh, Im glad. Rachel, Id like to say something to you. Yes? How you doin?
Rachel: Well, uhm... whatever, I have really appreciated it, 'cause I don’t think I would be the person that I am today if it wasn’t for you guys. See, I wanna help Amy the way you guys helped me. And I know it’s gonna take patience, but that’s ok.
Rachel: December 26th, huh maybe shes Santa Clause.
Phoebe: Rachel is one of my closest friends. (Pause) Although, being the only one who knows anything about this does makes me feel special. Okay!
Rachel: A pajmena?
Rachel: I think it is. (Ross looks very sad. Phoebe and Joey enter.)
Rachel: I dont understand! Last time you went out with her you said she was a big, dull dud.
Rachel: Oh he's dusting me with a fossil brush. He thought it would be funny.
[Scene: Rachels bedroom; Rachel is awoken by a man singing in the next apartment.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are there. Ross is trying to figure out why Phoebe's mad at him.]
(Rachel decides not to give up that easily and follows him to his apartment and bangs on the door, which he opens.)
Rachel: Are you makin him a sandwich?
Rachel: Yeah but how do I start? I mean, whats-whats the first thing that I say? (They all pause to think.) Okay great! Thanks. (She starts to leave.)
(Rachel, Ross and Phoebe have their hands full and are stuffing all kinds of things down Joeys pants.)
Rachel: Well, I usually go... play Tetris on somebody else's computer.
(She motions for them to come closer, they lean in and she whispers what Rachel told her. The guys both lean back laughing.]
Chandler: Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! (Rachel grabs the cheesecake and they take off upstairs.)
Rachel: It's impossible to find a good doctor. I mean, how do you know the good ones from the ones who are gonna push their penis against your knee?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are sitting at the table eating dinner and not talking. Ross and Rachel are outside cuddling on the balcony.]
Ross: You guys, just please.. a little bit longer. I promise, Rachel will be back with the cake any minute. Monica, remember.. the frosting? huh?
RACHEL: Ok, we can do this now, can't we Ben? Yes we can, yes we can. [finishes the diaper] There. I did it. I did it. Look at that, oh, stays on and everything. Hi.
Rachel: Oh yeah surfer?
Ross: (to Monica and Rachel) Its winter, they are fewer people on the street. (Rachel and Monica smile and nod, knowingly.)
Monica: (looking at Rachels jeans) Where did you get those jeans?!
(Joey and Rachel reach the landing just as Chandler closes the door.)
Rachel: Yeah, Stevies an old family friend. (Hits Rosss chest)
[Scene: Rachels Office, Tag is entering.]
Rachel: Oh my God, its happening. It's already started. I'm Kip.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; continued from earlier. Joey is closing the door after Rachel leaves and is about to confront Chandler and Monica.]
Rachel: Okay..Okay.. Look. Im sorry that I lied to you before. You were right. Ralph and I were an item but were not anymore.
Monica: No, too late. You can't give it back! (she pushes the painting back to Rachel)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel and Ross are in the kitchen. Phoebe is sitting at the couch with oven mits on her hands.]
Rachel: Yeah, we wanted to throw you a big surprise and a great shower, and now you dont have either.
[Scene: Joey's apartment, the next morning, Rachel is passed out on the couch.]
Rachel: Oh, honey! Dont get up! What do you need?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is still looking out the window as Joey enters.]
[Scene: Rachels old room. Its pretty much empty except for a few boxes against the walls. Ross and Chandler enter.]
Rachel: I am so proud of Joey, I can't believe he's going to be on Law & Order!
Rachel: But I dont, hmm... (on phone) Oh, who approved that order?! (listens) Well there is no Mark Robbinson in this office. (to Sophie) Get me Mark on the phone!
Joey: (lifts Rachel up and moves her behind him so she can walk on) Hey, here you go.
Rachel: She is so good at throwing drinks in peoples faces, I mean I dont think Ive ever seen her finish a beverage.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is knocking on Rachels door, whose door frame is decorated with balloons. The rest of the gang is there as well. Rachel opens the door and the gang blow on noisemakers.]
Rachel: I don't care! This guy is a nightmare!
(Rachel looks all around as if all the eyes in the chapel were looking at her as the picture fades to black.)
Phoebe: Well, Ill tell you Rachel Karen Green, I had plans with Joey tonight and he left me this note. (Hands it to Rachel.)
Rachel: Okay. Hang up! Thats it! Come on!
Ross: (gasps) Hi... There she is. Hi Emma. Oh my God, I missed you. (kisses her) Oh Emma, I missed you so much. Hey... Did you have a good time with grandma Green? Huh? Did she give you a bottle of anti-depressants again to use as a rattle? (to Rachel)
Rachel: Uh, wait, so you guys are telling me you actually did the routine from eighth grade?
Joey: Back when you and Rachel were together, if Chandler had kissed her, would you hear him out?
Rachel: The job is in Paris. (they all stare at each other)
Rachel: Okay! Yknow what? I realized it was stupid to get upset about not having a husband and kids. All I really needed was a plan. See I wanna have three kids
Rachel: Well, there was a disaster in shipping and Ive got to get this order in. Honey, Im so sorry, but it looks like Im gonna be here all night.
Chandler: Because you (Points to Joey) broke a chair and you (Points to Rachel) broke a chair! The only one around here that hasnt broke a chair, is me!
Rachel: OH! What's it the anniversary of? Your first date, your first kiss, first time you had sex...
Monica: Well, Rachel wants to take swing dance lessons. Which I think is a really stupid idea! It's dangerous, she's never gonna get what she wants, and who knows who she might (Turns to look at Ross) end up hurting.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Joey, and Chandler are listening to a story being told by Danny and his sister.]
[Scene: Ross and Rachel are at the playground with Emma. Rachel in putting her back in the stroller and Ross is tending to his wound]
Rachel: From the guy in the bar, why didn�t I get that message?
Rachel: (on tape) Can you believe this is already happening? I mean it seems like yesterday they just got engaged.
Rachel: This was such a huge mistake. I cant tell him Phoebe. I cant, I cant, I cant, I cant
Rachel: Wow, a Swedish massage from a real Swedish person. (Puts her head in the hole and Phoebe enters)
Rachel: You know what else Im not gonna miss? "Im Monica. I wash the toilet 17 times a day. Even if people are on it!"
Rachel: Hey, Mon, I was just doing the dishes!
Rachel: (joining them) Well, I just checked our messages and Joshua didnt call. I mean youd think hed be worried about me not showing up at his club. Ugh, you know what makes it so much worse, Ross is all happy in Vermont!
Rachel: Heyyyyy! Contraceptives are not always effective! (To Bobby and Dina) Right?
Rachel: Well, oh, Mark, Im doing this for the wrong reasons, y'know? Im just doing it to get back at Ross. Im sorry, its not very fair to you.
Monica: Hey, its Phoebe and Rachel. Um, why dont you tell them what you were telling me earlier about me not being high maintenance?
[Scene: Rachels office, shes there as Tag knocks on the door and enters carrying a plant.]
Ross: We are having a baby together, but were not involved. (The cashier, a very beautiful woman, looks confused) I mean, uh we-we were seeing each other a while ago, but then we were just friends. And then there was one drunken night. (Rachel looks at him angrily) Or, yes stranger, wed like this delivered please.
[Scene: The corridor. Amy knocks Joey’s door and Rachel opens the door.]
Rachel: Why did you invite my mother?!
RACHEL: Oohhh.
Monica: Really, Rachel, I was thinking of you the whole time. Look, I'm sorry, all right. I never meant for you to find out!
Joey: Hey! No! Get your France-going-arms away from me. (He walks out, and Rachel follows him)
(Rachel gets up, and Joey tries to get up, but halfway up he sits down again.)
Rachel: Oh not-not so much. Umm, what-what do you, what do you mean is there something wrong with Ross?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Chandler is pacing and Rachel walks in.]
Rachel: You know what? Ive been thinking about it. Im really coming around on the name Ruth. I think I would actually consider naming our child that.
Phoebe: (goes back in) I'm Rachel. It's so annoying when I put Emma on the phone to talk with my friends.
Cynthia: Oh, candles! (Notices something.) What is that? A blanket? A video camera? Oh my God! (As she storms out, Rachel returns and overhears the conversation.)
Rachel: Ooh, and it's so nice having this little sink here...
Rachel: Oh!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering. Rachel is there getting some tools to help Ross out.]
Rachel: Oh, I have to go pee. Apparently this baby thinks that my bladder is a squeeze toy. (Goes to the bathroom.)
Rachel: Okay. Yeah, that would be nice actually, to have the apartment to myself for a night.
(Rachel laughs a little too hard as Ross and Jill leave for their date. After they have left, Rachel starts to break down.)
Rachel: Okay, youd tell me the truth. Right?
Rachel: Ohh I mean two best friends falling in love, how often does that happen?
Rachel: Oh, get out of here! (Jumps back and walks away.)
[scene: Joey’s apartment. Joey and Rachel are sitting on the couch]
Amy: Now listen, not that you guys could stop me or anything cause you know you'd be dead. I was thinking about changing her name. I'm just not really a big fan of Emily. [Transcriber note: I'm surprised that Rachel and Ross didn't say they weren't either here]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Joey, and Chandler are sitting and talking as Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Rachel: There, well, see? Barry wouldn't even kiss me on a miniature golf course.
Rachel: That is so sad. Your missing out on so much, Ross. I mean, the bonding and the sharing, you know. And-and knowing that someone else is going through the same thing you are.
Rachel: I lied! And I'm not sick! Just stay behind the curtain!
Rachel: Honey, y'know I just gotta tell you, I think this is such a terrific thing you're having these babies for Frank and Alice.
[Scene: A Bridal Shop, Phoebe and Rachel are waiting for Monica who is trying on her wedding dress.]
Rachel: No, I have to go downstairs and come back up as if I'm coming home from the regatta gala. Okay? So just go distract him. But don't be sexy.
RACHEL: What, as part of your poor friends outreach program?
Rachel: For every night that youre asleep before I get home from work...
Phoebe and Rachel: 32. (Joeys not buying it.)