words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are hosting a New Year's party. So the place is crowded and in a shameless promotion for NBC they're watching Jay Leno's coverage of New Year's from Time Square.]
Joey: Ross! Ross! Ross, listen! Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Rachel or Phoebe?
Ross: Oh well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe.
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: So?
Rachel: Oh, good point.
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)
Rachel: (To Joey) Happy New Year, Joey!
(Rachel slowly walks away.)
Rachel: But your divorce isn't even final yet.
Rachel: Op, look! Claire forgot her glasses! And she's gonna be really needing these to keep an eye on that boyfriend, who, I hear, needs to keep his stapler in his desk drawer, if you know what I'm talking about.
Rachel: I don't gossip!
Rachel: Well, maybe sometimes I find out things or I hear something and I pass that information on y'know kinda like a public service, it doesn't mean I'm a gossip. I mean, would you call Ted Kopel a gossip?
Rachel: What? They were like this!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with Rachel.]
Phoebe: Hey everybody, Rachel was so good today. She didn't gossip at all.
Rachel: I didnt! Even when I found out umm, all right, well let's just say I found something out something about someone and let's just say she's gonna keep it. (Goes into her room.)
Rachel: I think they're very nice.
Rachel: Awful, absolutely awful. (Plus other negative comments from Phoebe and Monica.)
Rachel: (entering, singing) "Baddest man in the whole damn town."
(Rachel looks shocked, gets over it, notices she's alone, and picks up the phone. The last part of which is something she shouldn't have done, because the phone is already in use. By Monica, and now Rachel can hear every word.)
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben. I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
Chandler: (on phone) Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname? (Rachel is absolutely stunned, she opens her mouth in absolute amazement.)
Rachel: Arghh!! (She quickly hangs up the phone and starts to pace around wondering what to do.)
Rachel: (entering) Joey, do you have a minute?
Rachel: Oh, Joey, I have such a problem!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Joey, I have got to tell you something!
Rachel: Oh my God, it's so huge, but you just have to promise me that you cannot tell anyone.
Rachel: Yes! Yes! Yes, you do want to know! This is unbelievable!
Rachel: What? What secrets? You know secrets? What are they?
Rachel: I know, I know! I just can't keep this one in, so I pick up the phone (Joey in a childish attempt to not hear what Rachel is about to say, puts his fingers in his ears and starts to scream loudly. Rachel turns and walks out upon seeing that Joey's not gonna listen, and as she exits Chandler walks in and sees Joey in his current state.)
Rachel: That really is something; that's really cool.
Rachel: Good luck, honey!
Phoebe: Bye! (She exits, leaving Rachel and Joey alone.)
Rachel: Hey, uh, Joey?
Rachel: Remember that big thing I was gonna tell you about?
Joey: Oh, no! (Starts that screaming thing again. Rachel stops him by pulling his fingers out of his ears.)
Rachel: I'm not gonna tell you, but if you found out on your own, that would be okay and then we could talk about it. Right?
Rachel: (quietly) Yeah. Well. (Pause.) Hey uh Joe, would mind going over to Chandler's bedroom and get that book back that he borrowed from me?
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Do you know something?
Rachel: I might know something too.
Rachel: Oh no, I can't tell you until you tell me what you know.
Rachel: Well then I can't tell you what I know.
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
Rachel: AND YOU KNOW!!!
Rachel: Chandler and Monica?!! Oh, this is unbelievable!! How long have you known?
Joey and Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Ohhh, yeah, me too.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]
Monica: NOW!!!!!!!! (Rachel runs off and Monica gets up to follow her.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler are all there as Phoebe enters dejectedly.]
(Mr. Thompson looks shocked and at Rachel, she suddenly starts laughing.)
Rachel: Well
Rachel: Hi! Tag. What are you doing here?
Rachel: Kinda.
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Ohh, so do you! Did you lose weight? (Shes not quite sure of that one.)
Rachel: I just, Phoebe, said yknow thought she saw something between you guys.
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Ohh, my new assistant is working out, yes.
Rachel: Yeah and you had fun teaching him how to be all Joey.
Rachel: Im sorry Joey.
Rachel: Yknow who doesnt even like dirty movies? My new boyfriend Joshua.
Rachel: All right, all right, well you just blew your chances at dating Bob!
Rachel: Joey, why would you do that?
Rachel: Really? (Giggles.)
Tag: Rachel Greens office. (Hangs up.)
Tag: Hi! Rachel Greens office.
Rachel: Oh, Danny just went into room 217.
Rachel: Hi!
Kathy: Hey Rachel!
Rachel: Sorry. Im so exited! Ive been waiting for this for months! I got my hair coloured! I got new sheets! Im making him a very fancy meal.
Rachel: Do you think it's possible for two friends to fool around and... and not have it be a big deal?
Monica and Rachel: (less than enthused) Great.
Rachel: Oh wow! (She takes a bite, but holds the sandwich vertically so that the stuff falls out.)
Rachel: Well yeah, sure, whats up?
Rachel: (very relived) Oh! Thank God!
Rachel: Oh, did you not want people to know that?
Rachel: Ohh, you can say. Come on, I dont want you to feel like you cant tell me things. (Motions for him to sit down.)
Rachel: Oh really?!
Rachel: Whys that?
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: (Pause) Yeah, shes gay.
Rachel: Kay.
Rachel: Really! What is with that guy? I mean you'd forgive me if I fogged you.
Rachel: So, is this just gonna be you and Carol?
[Scene: Central Perk, Julie and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Rachel: Yeah. Ahh, heres a box of your stuff. (hands him a box)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are sitting on the couch, Rachel is on the chair.]
Rachel: Hey, I thought that guy was married.
Rachel: Oh, I gotta get back to work.
Rachel: I am not gonna get fired, because Im not gonna act on it.
Rachel: Why? Is he? He is! Isnt he? Hes dating that slut in marketing!
Rachel: Oh, great could you make me four copies of those?
Rachel: Well of course we will help you decide! We will do anything we can to help you! Now, I would like to make a toast, to the future Mrs. Chandler Bing (A woman at the table behind them overhears Chandlers name and starts listening closer), my best friend, and truly one of the nicest people that
Rachel: No. Why?
Melissa: Hey Rachel!
Rachel: Oh yeah. All right, back to work.
Rachel: Yeah Melissa, I dont want to be known as the uh, office bitch, but I will call your supervisor.
Rachel: Hi Joey! What are you doing here?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the next morning, Rachel and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Rachel: I'm so sorry, you guys. I didn't mean to bring you down.
Rachel: Yes you do, if you're going to make me feel guilty for getting a free massage!
Rachel: Hey, listen umm, what-what are you doing tonight?
(Ross resumes playing, this time accompanied by Phoebe screeching out Es in tune with Ross. While Phoebe is singing along, Rachel is having a very difficult time keeping a straight face. Thankfully, Ross gives up after a little while.)
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Y'know what, just give me a second and I'll be out of your hair. I'm just gonna grab a jacket. When I get back, I want every little detail. (There's a knock on the door.) Maybe that's him. (Goes to answer the door.)
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey is now showing Rachel around.]
Rachel: Doctor you gotta do something! I think you gotta give me drugs or you gotta light a fire up in there and just smoke it out.
Rachel: I don't know where the phone is.
Rachel: C'mon, he's right. Tit for tat.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is sweeping up as Rachel enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is on the couch staring off into space as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: (yelling) Just sit over there!! (Points to the port side.)
Rachel: Plus, you know, he is with Charlie now.
[Scene: The street outside the building, Rachel is running to catch up with Caitlin.]
Rachel: Hi Tag! Hey, so did you have fun with uh, with Joey last night?
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: Ohh thats nice.
Rachel: (Pause) Oh.
Rachel: Yeah, and-and-and by someone, she means Joey.
Rachel: So uh, heard you had some fun with Tag last night.
Rachel: (entering) Hi!
Rachel: (To Joey) So, will you talk to him?
Tag: Oh, yeah, this is from Rachel.
Rachel: Okay. Okay. (They sit down.) I think we can do this if we just get organized. All right? We have two days to plan this party. We just need to make fast decisions! Okay? All right, where are we gonna have it?
Rachel: Id love that. I would loooove (Carol goes to make the coffee and she sits down.) So uh, so where is sweet little Ben? I would love to have a little...
Rachel: Uh-huh.
Rachel: Really?
Rachel: Heywhoa, slow down. (Gets a whiff of him) No, keep moving. (Joey runs off.) Wow!
Rachel: Wow! I did not see that coming.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Yes! Hell yes!
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, The One With George Stephanopoulos, Phoebe is showing Monica and Rachel that she brought Operation to their slumber party.]
Rachel: Id love to!
Rachel: Of course its true and it hurts so bad.
Rachel: Oh, no sit-ups today Tag?
Monica: Not until you said it. Somebody switch! (Chandler makes a clicking sound with his fingers and Phoebe runs to the other wall. Monica returns to Chandlers wall.) Wait a minute... Ross and Charlie, Joey and Rachel, Phoebe and Mike! We're the only people leaving with the same person we came with.
Rachel: Me too!
Rachel: Uh-hmm.
Monica: Rachel would be Phoebes, I would be Rachels, that way we all get to do it once and no one would get upset.
Rachel: Hypothetically!
Rachel: Yeah thats actually a pretty good idea.
Rachel: Yes it is! It is true! I went, I went after Ross in stupid London.
Rachel: Right! But, none of that compared to how kind and-and how gentle and thoughtful he is. (Rubbing his shoulder.)
Rachel: Fine!
[cut back to Rachels bedroom with both of them hurriedly getting dressed]