words in movies
Rachel: Yeah. Dont do this to yourself.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Janine are pretty much making out at one of the tables as Monica and Rachel look on from the couch.]
Janine: (to Monica and Rachel) Bye.
Rachel: I know.
Chandler: (entering) Oh hey Rachel, sweetheart? You have got to tell the post office that you have moved. Okay? We are still getting all your bills and stuff. (Hands her all of her bills and stuff.)
Rachel: Oh-oh, Pottery Barn! (Grabs the aforementioned catalog and holds the rest back out to Chandler.) You can throw the rest away.
Rachel: Monica look! Look-look-look! Here is that table that I ordered. (Shows her the picture.)
Rachel: Yeah! Its an apothecary table. Does anyone even know what an apothecary is?
Chandler: A pharmacist. (Rachel mocks him.)
Rachel: Phoebe hates Pottery Barn?!
Rachel: Well this has story behind it! I mean they had to ship it all the way from the White Plains store.
Rachel: Okay fine! Ill-Ill just tell her its an antique apothecary table, she doesnt have to know where it came from. Oh! Look at this little drawers! Oh look-look it says that it holds 300 CDs.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Rachel is placing CDs into her antique apothecary table as Phoebe returns home.]
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Guess!
Rachel: Ha! See, I knew, I knew youd get it on the first guess. Isnt it cool! Its an apothecary table.
Rachel: Ohh, yes.
Rachel: Almost.
Rachel: It was only 500 bucks.
Rachel: Oh, okay see I thought, I thought you meant how much was it when it was new, yknow like back then.
Rachel: Yeah no, I mean it was at a flea market, so it was yknow, it was like a dollar.
Rachel: And fifty. So it was like one and fifty dollars.
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Uh, its from yore. Like the days of yore. Yknow?
Rachel: Yes! That I know, this is from White Plains.
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Rachel is entering as Ross comes out of the kitchen carrying popcorn.]
Rachel: Hey! Were here!
Rachel: (seeing his new table) Ohh! Oh my God!
Rachel: Oh no!
Rachel: Ross! Phoebes gonna be here any second, she cannot see this!
Rachel: I know you did! I bought the same one! And if she sees your table shes gonna know that I lied to her. I told her ours was an original.
Rachel: Because she hates Pottery Barn.
Rachel: I know! I know, she says its all mass-produced, nothing is authentic, and everyone winds up having the same stuff. (Ross looks at his table.) So come on, shes gonna be here any second! Can we please just cover this up with something?! Please?
Rachel: Ooo! Oh, I forgot they made sheets!
Rachel: Ross, get over it! Its not like she hates you.
Rachel: Ross, shes not weird, she just wants her stuff to be one of a kind.
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Ooh, Phoebes here! Okay, lets turn out all the lights and well just watch the movie!
Rachel: He got it a flea market!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are watching a movie.]
Rachel: Thats funny. (Phoebe puts her feet up on Rosss table.)
Ross: Hey Pheebs, could you please not put your feet up on my new (On Rachels glare) old sheet?
Rachel: Ohh!!
Rachel: Noooooo!! (Phoebe lifts up the sheet to discover the exact same apothecary table they have.)
Rachel: Oh my God, Phoebe, Pottery Barn has ripped off the design of our antique!
Rachel: Oh yes.
Phoebe: Oh Ross, calm down, Ill give you the 80 cents. (Ross glares at Rachel)
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Rachel is showing Ross around the newly decorated living room.]
Rachel: see I cant decide whether it would go better next to the new wicker dining chair, the Sahara desk, or the Parker console table.
Rachel: I know, I know. I went a little crazy.
Rachel: Hey.
Ross: (glaring at Rachel) Fascinating.
Rachel: Oh it does, it does! It is a room separating apparatus from Colonial times.
Ross: Hmm, a lot of this stuff is from Colonial times. Hey, what are some other time periods Rachel? (She glares at him.)
Rachel: Well theres yore. And uh, yknow, yesteryear.
Phoebe: Yeah no, Im telling you Rachel has such a great eye for this stuff. Ross, yknow if you ever decide you need to redecorateAnd I think that you should. You should, you should ask Rachel to help.
Rachel: Oh honey he doesnt need my help.
Ross: Really?! (To Rachel) Hey, yknow what? Since you have such a great sense of what I need, uh ooh, heres-heres 60 bucks, why dont you take Phoebe down to that Colonial flea market of yours and get me some stuff.
Rachel: (not sure of what to do) Yknow what? I dont, I dont think Phoebe really wants to come.
Rachel: Oh, she does want to.
[Scene: The Street, Phoebe and Rachel are heading back from that Colonial flea market.]
Rachel: Pheebs, I dont know what to say. I guess the flea market was just better last time.
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Yeah, yknow what? Dont look at it. (Realizes the display is their living room) Seriously, dont look at it. (Tries to pull Phoebe away.)
Rachel: Ugh, those bastards! Lets go.
Rachel: No! No! No! No its not! No its not! Come on! Phoebe, ours is totally different! I mean we dont have the (Looks desperately for something different.) We dont have the that lamp! And-and that screen is yknow, on the other side.
Rachel: Okay! Okay-okay lookno I did, I just wanted this stuff and I know how you feel about Pottery Barn. Just Come on dont be mad.
Rachel: Well then honey, buy the lamp! Hey, we have that 60 bucks from Ross.
Rachel: What?! No! Im not gonna move out!
Rachel: (gets it) Oh. Yes! I would so move out!
Rachel: Thats right!
Rachel: Right. Was it the, "Please dont show me another picture of a trilobite vibe?"
Rachel: Cute guys in little shorts? Sure.
Rachel: Show cat! Quality show cat! Show cat! (A woman approaches.)
Rachel: Hey, yknow what? Im not waiting! Im gonna push this baby out! Im doing it! I mean its what? Three centimeters? Thats gotta be like this! (Holds her hands a couple inches apart.)
Monica: (getting out) No, Rachel never pees in public restrooms.
Monica, Moncia, have a happy Hanukkah. Saw Santa Claus, he said hello to Ross. And please tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy! And Rachel and Chandler, have err-umm-glander!!"
Rachel: I am not a pushover!
Phoebe: Ooh! I know what you could make! (runs over to join Monica and Rachel in the kitchen) I know! Oh, you should definitely make that thing... you know, with the stuff? (Monica doesn't know.) You know, that thing... with the stuff...? OK, I don't know. (sits down)
Ross: Oh, come on, every first time mother feels that way. Youllyoure gonna pick it up. (Rachel doesnt believe that.) Hey! You will! Uh look, yknow when you first came to the city? You were this spoiled helpless little girl who-who still used daddys credit card. Do you remember?
Rachel: What? What? Hes interested in you. He-he likes your hair, he just wants to know how you got here.
RACHEL: [holding a pillow made out of 4 inch red fur] Hey, nice pillow. So now tell me, is this genuine Muppet skin?
Tag: (entering) Yeah? (She holds up the folder) You found them!! (Rachel is not amused, because shes still going to try to blame him for her mistake like every good boss.) Yknow what? Im not even going to gloat. Im just really relived this whole thing is over.
Phoebe: Does a dog's lips move when he reads? (Joey makes an `I don't know' face, and looks to Chandler and Rachel, who're also stumped) Okay, no they don't.
Amy: You know.. this.. this is classic Rachel.
[Scene: Ross's bedroom, Ross is humming the Star Wars theme. Rachel enters, with her hair done up like Princess Leia's, and wearing a belly dancer's outfit, to simulate the gold bikini thing.]
Monica: Hey, Rach! I made a pile of your stuff over on this side of the room. If you could just (Rachel grunts and throws her purse at it) throw your purses at it.
Rachel: Oh does it matter?! All that matters is that you look so handsome.
Rachel: Well, maybe sometimes I find out things or I hear something and I pass that information on y'know kinda like a public service, it doesn't mean I'm a gossip. I mean, would you call Ted Kopel a gossip?
[Scene: The lecture, Rachel is listening closely, Ross is bored out of his mind.]
RACHEL: OK. [start kissing again and Rachel starts lauging again]
Rachel: Well, you're the one who wants to fire him, so you're gonna have to do it. (Ross walks to the living room determined to fire Sandy)
Joshua: Kidding! (Rachel is relived) Im gonna get there early, but Im going to put you on the V.I.P list, okay? Look for me.
Rachel: Yeah. I'm-I'm telling you he's really sweet and he's really funny and he's just ugh, got a good heart. And besides, I y'know, I think he really likes you.
RACHEL: And there's a peach cobbler warming in the oven so the plate's gonna be hot but that shouldn't be a problem for you.
Rachel: Well, I think you're forgetting the kinkiest former resident of that room.
Chandler: Will you marry me? Will you marry me? (Makes like a gun with his fingers.) Hey, you marry me! (He gives up as Joey, Rachel, Phoebe, and Ross slink in all excited.) Whats going on little elves?
Rachel: Did-did you take these back?
Rachel: Well, of course I am! It's not gonna happen to Ross! He's your brother. (To Chandler) He's your old college roommate. Ugh, it was just a matter of time before someone had to leave the group. I just always assumed Phoebe would be the one to go.
RACHEL: That is not a tattoo, that is a nothing. I finally got her back in the chair, bairly touched her with a needle, she jumped up screaming, and that was it.
Rachel: Well, I-I-Ive been on Standby for a flight home for hours.
Rachel: Well can we see it?! Oh maybe we shouldnt. I mean if she just died this morning out of respect.
Monica: Umm. Well, theres Rachel, and umm, I think thats it. How bout you?
Rachel: Ohh, okay, how about five. (She hands her all the credit cards.) Ohh, thank you.
Dr. Green: So! (they both try to sit next to Rachel but Dr. Green is successful.) (to Ross) Hows the library?
Rachel: Honey, its going to be okay. Hes been incredibly supportive of me, and if he gets a little upset; thats what the meatball sub is for. (She gives Dina a sandwich wrapped in aluminum foil.)
Rachel: you were 50 minutes late to the class, what did you crawl there?!
Rachel: No please, show me how I begged you!
Rachel: Ooh, so cute, that Im thinking about jamming this pen in my eye.
Rachel: (disapprovingly) Tip of the iceberg.
Rachel: (anxiously) No, no, not at the moment, no, I'm not. Are you?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the baby shower has ended and everyone except for Mrs. Green have left who is talking to Rachel while Monica and Phoebe are cleaning up.]
Rachel: No! That's OK! That's OK! That's OK! No no no no! This is my business associate Gavin. He's just being silly.Gavin come out from behind that curtain!
Rachel: No, no, no, now wait, wa, wa, waa-it a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. That actually, uh, that sounds interesting.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is alone as Ross, Rachel, Chandler, and Joey enter dejectedly in softball gear.]
Rachel: Well, let me just check that with what I got here, all right see 038 is not the number for (Ross starts making a lot of noise with a handheld pepper grinder) this store, 038 is Atlanta. And I...(stops and looks at Ross)
Rachel: (laughing) What are you saying?
Rachel: So from that you think you've got me all figured out? Well, you don't! Y'know I-I could have toys for underprivileged kids in here!
Rachel: Okay, uh-uh imagine this, "The Mr. Bowmont."
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Rachel are consoling Chandler.]
Rachel: Well, ultimately, I was trying y'know, I-I wanted tell him y'know, that I'm still in love with him.
Rachel: Gimme an I!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are giving Phoebe and Rachel the results of their election. Somewhat faster than Florida I might add.]
Rachel: (searching the dictionary) Alright, okay, okay, gleba, gleba... (excited) Gleba! Ha! Here it is: the fleshy, spore-bearing inner mass of a certain fungi.
Rachel: Oh, time's up.
Russell: (interrupting) Im sorry, is this the same Rachel whos name you said at the altar in the second marriage?
Rachel: So why dont you just let me worry about making the trifle and you just worry about eating it, alright?
Rachel: (answering phone) Hel-lo, Rachel Green.
Rachel: Uh no, hes not. Can I take a message?
Rachel: Yes! And not because I want you to go out with me, but because I dont want you to go out with anybody! Okay? I know its a terrible thing to even think this, and its completely inappropriate, but I want you to be at my constant beck and call 24 hours a day! Im very sorry, but that is just the way that I feel.
Rachel: Ok... "Emma just said gleba"!
Rachel: It was cheesecake. It was fine. It had a buttery, crumbly, graham cracker crust, with a very rich yet light, cream cheese filling (Pause) Wow! My whole mouth just filled with saliva!
Rachel: For Stella! Remember? She's gettin' her grove back in like 20 minutes.
Rachel: (We see a flashback as Rachel describes what happened.) All right, we were shaking hands and he kinda leaned toward me Y'know maybe he was going to open the door, but I totally miss read him and I uhhh (The flashback shows that she kissed him on the cheek.)
RACHEL: Well, well um, you know, these movies are offensive and uh, degrading to women and females. And uh, and the lighting's always unflattering. And, Monica help me out here.
Rachel: (starting to lose her composure) I mean were not, were not gonna live together anymore?
Rachel: I will wake you up in a way thats proved very popular in the past.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is handing out copies of her book to the gang.]
Rachel: Well, maybe that's my decision. Well, maybe I don't need your money. Wait!! Wait, I said maybe!!
(He hears Phoebe and Rachel coming and hides in the ice machine room.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is answering the door in his robe.] CHAN: No, no, no, no, no, no [opens door to Monica] No. Monica, it's Sunday morning. I'm not running on a Sunday. MNCA: Why not? CHAN: Because it's Sunday. It's God's day. MNCA: OK, if you say stop, then we stop. CHAN: OK, stop. MNCA: No, c'mon, we can't stop, c'mon, we've got three more pounds to go. I am the energy train and you are on board. Woo-woo, woo-woo, woo-woo [Chandler walks out of the apartment, leaving Monica] Woo. [Scene: Rachel and Monica's apartment. Rachel is taking asprin. Ross enters.] ROSS: Hey Rach. RACH: Ahhhh. ROSS: Oh. And how was the date? RACH: Umm, I think there was a restaurant... I know there was wine. . . [Rachel looks at Ross as though she remembers something, but can't place what it is.]
Monica: And Ross, if it werent for Rachels rumor I mean no one in high school would even know who you were. She put you on the map!
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Chandler, and Joey are seated at couches. Rachel is working behind the counter.]
Rachel: Okay. (After Paul leaves Rachel drops to the floor to confront Ross.) What?! What are you doing here?!
Rachel: But can it... just... happen a little bit?
Rachel: I have the best job in the entire world! The most adorable guy came over today, and I got to dress him up all day!
Will: Look at her standing there with those yams! My two greatest enemies Ross: Rachel Green and complex carbohydrates.
[Scene: the Pharmacist convention. Joey and Rachel are walking out of it, drinking cocktails]
Rachel: My gynecologist tried to kill me.
Rachel: But Joey the baby is going to be crying, its going to be loud.
Rachel: Yeah. Hmmmm.
Rachel: (Sarcastically) Uuuh!! How about at a Footlocker? (claps her hands together, faking excitement)
Rachel: Wow, y'know if Joey and Chandler walked in right now, we could make a fortune! (Monica is straddling Rachel and holding her arms down. In a rather risqu� pose, at least for primetime TV.)
[Scene: The street in front of Central Perk. Steve and Rachel are still there.]
Rachel: Okay Joey, were luffing a little bit, so could you tighten up the cunningham? (The mainsail has started to flap in the wind and has stopped working efficiently; she wants him to tighten it so that it starts working again.)
Rachel: Okay, well then how about a handshake? (She goes to shake his hand but misses and touches his groin.) Oh God I'm sorry! Oh God, I'm sorry! I did not mean to touch thatI mean you there. There. Uhh, okay, so thank-thank you, I'm going to leave now thank you very much uh-huh, thank you soHey! I'll see you Monday! (Exits.)
Rachel: (returning) Okay, remember uh, remember how you told me that your grandmother put up that wall to make that into two bedrooms?
Rachel: Wiper blades. I don't even have a car.
Rachel: Umm, Im sorry. Do you-do you have a problem with me?
MR. TREEGER: [to Rachel who is standing under mistletoe] So, uh, is this, uh, mistletoe?
Rachel: Excellent! Stick it in the ice bucket, the phone is off the hook, and in the interest of powering through (Starts to remove her bra from under her clothes)...
Phoebe: This is fashion?! (Grabs the coat from Rachel.) Okay, so to you, death is fashion?! That's really funny. (She puts the coat on and starts to model it.) Here's Phoebe umm, sporting uh, y'know, cutting edge hairy carcass from y'know, the steal traps of wintry Russia. I mean, you really thing this looks good? (Sees herself in the mirror.) 'Cause I do.
Rachel: Look! I cleaned! I did the windows, I did the floors... I even used all the attachments on the vacuum, except that little round one with the bristles, I don't know what that's for.
Rachel: Oh uh-huh, uh-huh, coffee, a little rub-rub-rub under the table.
RACHEL: No. [hitting again]
Rachel: Oh God! Yknow what I wish? I wish you were six years older. Well actually, if Im wishin for stuff, I actually wish I was six years younger.
Rachel: Thank you. Thank you very much. Umm, Ive known them separately and Ive known them together and-and to know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love. So I would like to raise my glass (Grabs a glass and holds it up) to Monica and Chandler and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together. I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey.
Rachel: Arghh!! (She quickly hangs up the phone and starts to pace around wondering what to do.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is telling Phoebe about Mark, as Gunther eavesdrops behind them.]
Rachel: All right, its okay. One little setback is okay, just dont let it happen again, all right? Now since daddy paid for all this stuff, I should take it all away. But Im just gonna take the-the pajmena. (Ross hands it to her.) And the uh, and the uh pants. Yknow what, Im just gonna take it all away, cause that way youll just really learn the lesson. Okay? All righty, Im gonna run a couple of errands and I will see you at dinner. (Leaves with all of Jills stuff.)
(Rachel lets her anger show too. Hideously embarrassed, the doctors drain their glasses in the vicious pause which follows. The telephone rings, but the girls just glower at each other, silently daring the other to move first. Finally both guys jump up, and Michael wins.)