words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Phoebe are preparing for Rachels baby shower.]
Rachel: (entering) Hi!
Rachel: So whats the final head count on my baby shower?
Rachel: What?! You mean theyre not coming to a social event where theres no men and theres no booze?! Thats shocking! I dont care, as long as my moms here.
Rachel: What?! My moms not gonna be here?!
Rachel: My God!
Rachel: So my mother is not coming to my baby shower?!
Rachel: Please, make sure she comes. Its really important to me, I mean its my mom!
Rachel: I dont know.
Monica: Go! I have it in my book. Go! (Rachel leaves and Monica calls Mrs. Green.) (To Phoebe) Wait a minute! If youre in charge of the invitations why am I the one who has to call herHello Mrs. Green! Hi, its Monica Geller.
Monica: (on phone) Hi, umm I know this is last minute, but weve decided to throw an impromptu baby shower for Rachel today.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachels baby shower is underway. Monica and Phoebe are working in the kitchen.]
Mrs. Green: Try. Theres my little girl. (Goes over to Rachel.)
[Cut to Rachel and Mrs. Green.]
Rachel: Okay. (Mrs. Green helps her up and they walk over and get some tea.)
Rachel: Oh well actually gonna use a nanny and uh, I dont even have a housekeeper.
Mrs. Green: Its like youre a cave person. Rachel, you must get a nanny. You dont know how overwhelming this is going to be. I mean when you were a baby I had full time help, I had Mrs. Kay.
Rachel: Mrs. Kay! Oh yeah, she was sweet. She taught me Spanish. I actually think I remember some of it, tu madre es loca. (I think thats your mothers crazy.)
Rachel: Well, however great she was I just cant afford that.
Mrs. Green: Oh Rachel!
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Wh-wh-what? What?
Rachel: Yes. Yes I do.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the baby shower is continuing as Rachel walks over to Monica and Phoebe.]
Rachel: Why did you invite my mother?!
Rachel: She wants to move in with me and Ross to help take care of the baby.
Rachel: Eight weeks. I mean I love my mother, but my God, a long lunch with her is taxing.
Rachel: What? You guys, come on! What am I going to do?
Rachel: Youre right. Youre right. I mean Im about to have a baby, I can tell my mother that I dont want her to just be sleeping on my couch! Oh my God! Shes gonna want to sleep in my bed with me. This cannot happen!
Rachel: Okay. (She goes over to tell her mother.)
Monica: (To Phoebe) This is great! Now shes gonna be mad at Rachel! Yknow what? And Im just gonna swoop in there and be like the daughter she never had.
Monica: Yes! Yes! And I think that the first gift that Rachel opens should be from the grandmother of the baby, because youre the most important person in this room. And in the world!
(Mrs. Green goes into the kitchen and Rachel follows her.)
Rachel: Mom thats okay that you didnt get you a gift!
Rachel: Oh yeah. Okay, see mom, the truth is I can do this on my own.
Rachel: But mom, I really know what Im doing. I can handle this.
Rachel: He was a hamster! I am not going to vacuum up my baby!
Rachel: Wow!
Rachel: Oh my gosh! Oh wow! Oh, I know what this is! (Shes holding an item with a large suction cup connected to a yellow plastic box, with a long narrow tube and bottle connected the yellow part.) Wait a minute. That cant be right. Is that a beer bong for a baby?
Rachel: Did I say I was done guessing? Okay, thank you for that. Oh wow! Whats this?
Rachel: Oh, it dispenses clean diapers!
Rachel: Well thats gross, why dont you just take it outside and throw it in a dumpster?
Rachel: What?! It goes ten times a day! What are we feeding this baby?! Indian food?!
Monica: Rachel, listen to your mother. She is very smart.
Rachel: I dont know, Id leave it on the changing table? (Everyone gasps.) What?! Whatd I do? Whatd I do?!
Rachel: Oh come(Stutters)Of course I know that. I mean of course you never leave a baby alone! I mean who wouldshe wouldnt be safe as she would be with me, the baby dummy. Oh God, okay. Yknow what? I think opening the presents right now is a little overwhelming right now. So I think umm, Im just gonna maybe open them a little bit later, but thank you all for coming. And for these beautiful gifts, and this basket is beautiful.
Rachel: Okay mommy, dont ever leave me. (Hugs her.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the baby shower has ended and everyone except for Mrs. Green have left who is talking to Rachel while Monica and Phoebe are cleaning up.]
Rachel: So umm, youre gonna stay with me as long as I need you?
Rachel: Oh mom, I swear Im not an idiot. Ive read all kinds of books on pregnancy and giving birth, but I-I just didnt think to read the part about what to do when the baby comes. And-and then guess what? The babys coming and I dont know what to do. Oh, can I throw up in my diaper genie?
Rachel: Wait-wait where are you going? Where are you going?
Rachel: Okay.
Mrs. Green: Now dont worry! Everythings gonna be okay. (Hugs Rachel while she is standing and Rachel is sitting, seeing this Monica decides to join in on the hugging by hugging Mrs. Green from behind her back.)
Rachel: Oh we did, but my mom got us the greatest gift of all.
Rachel: No. Shes going to live with us for eight weeks.
Rachel: Yes! Shes gonna help us take care of the baby! Woo-hoo. (Sees that Ross isnt happy.)
Ross: Hi roomie! (Hugs her and looks at Rachel.)
Mrs. Green: Well Rachel needs help with the baby.
Rachel: I do. I really do. I dont know anything.
Rachel: Oh no? Pheebs? Monica? Do I know anything about babies?
Rachel: Hello?! I still dont know what the hell Im doing!
Ross: Oh, come on, every first time mother feels that way. Youllyoure gonna pick it up. (Rachel doesnt believe that.) Hey! You will! Uh look, yknow when you first came to the city? You were this spoiled helpless little girl who-who still used daddys credit card. Do you remember?
Rachel: I hope youre going somewhere with this.
Rachel: Really?
Rachel: Thank you. (Hugs him.)
Ross: Oh. (Rachel and he start to stand up.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is helping Rachel study for when the baby comes.]
Rachel: (closing a book) Okay! Im ready.
Rachel: Yes, Ive done my studying and I really know my stuff.
Ross: All right then. (Gets up, in an announcers voice) Rachel Green! Lets play Bamboozled! (Reading from a note card.) How do you test the temperature of the babys bath water?
Rachel: Uh, put your elbow in it.
Rachel: Full, dry, on its back, and no loose covers.
Rachel: Check if its wet, check if its hungry, burp it!
Rachel: A card! A card! I pick a card!
Ross: Oh, Im sorry youve been Bamboozled! Youre gonna be a terrible mother! (Rachel stares at him agape.) Ive lost sight of why were doing this! (Rachel gets up and walks away.)
Phoebe and Rachel: (simultaneously) Who is it?
Rachel: Oh honey he doesnt need my help.
Rachel: Okay, well you had asked me how long we had known each other, and I said, "Eight years." And the um, waiter came over and cut his tip in half, and umm now here we are.
Monica: Rachel?!
[Scene: Rachels office, Chandler and Joanna are returning from their lunch date. He is telling her about her mascara problem. Rachel is already there.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and Ross are there.]
Rachel: Hi, sure!
Rachel: No! No Joey! U-N-I-sex.
[Scene: Rachels New Office, shes interviewing a potential new assistant, Hilda.]
[Scene: The delivery room, later on, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, and Frank are there as Dr. Harad is checking out Phoebe.]
Ross: To talk to Rachel, isn't that why we took a ride in the death-cab?
Rachel: (pause) Would you like some pancakes?
Ross: (looking at Rachel entering with Emma) Oh, hi! Hi! Thanks for showing you up thirty minutes late!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around the kitchen table as Ross enters.]
(Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel enters.)
Rachel: I'm all better now.
Rachel: Yeah, maybe if youre in love. But Ross, we are not in love, are we?
Rachel: Wow, Monica, I love that, you really have faith in me. Thank you. Technical question, how do you know when uh, the butters done?
Rachel: Well, I guess we just find a divorce lawyer? (Looks at Ross.)
Ross: So Rachel, what're you, uh... what're you up to tonight?
Rachel: Nope. We took her to lunch.
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Phoebe are sitting ignoring each other. Rachel walks up with two pieces of cake.]
Rachel: Ohh, well you got em.
Rachel: Phoebe, you're on.
Carol: Look, I-I-I am sorry that Rachel dumped you cause she fell in love with that Mark guy, and you are the innocent victim in all of this, but dont punish your friends for what Rachel did to you.
Rachel: (as Monica) And by the way, have I mentioned that back in high school, I was a cow?
Joey: I like to see the previews. (Rachel looks at him.) The candy.
[Scene: Central Perk, the next day Rachel, Phoebe, and Chandler are there as Monica enters.]
Rachel: Really?! (Taking his resume) Okay well then, all right, well just have a seat there. Umm, so whatswhat iswhats your name?
(Seeing Rachels apparently okay with this, the rest of the gang jumps up to congratulate Ross and Emily on their pending nuptials.)
Mrs. Geller: Rachel's coming up the path. Doesn't she look pretty. Jack... (Rachel enters with a huge nose)
Rachel: Wh(Turns and looks at the gang whos staring)Why dont I tell you over here? (She walks Melissa away from the gang.)
Mrs. Geller: (to Ross on the stairs) I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
Rachel: Oh my god, I left the water running.
Joanna: Rachel, I need the Versachi invoice. (to Chandler) Hello! You dont work for me.
Rachel: Well, like anything can be sexy. Like umm, oh-oh, like this dishtowel! (She grabs it and starts rubbing it on her cheek.) Ooh, ooh, this feels sooo good against my cheek! And-and if I feel a little hot, I can just dab myself with it. Or I can bring it down to my side and bring it through my fingers while I talk to him.
Rachel: Hello, Paul.
Rachel: (entering) Well, if anyone is keeping score, I no longer eat tuna.
Rachel: Oh Ah! (Sees a big stuffed gorilla) Oh my gosh theres something every mother needs, a giant stuffed gorilla that takes up the entire apartment! What are people think (Reads the card) Oh you guys I love it.
Rachel: Oh, he is precious! Where did you get him?
[Scene, The Park, Rachel is running and Phoebe is hiding behind a tree.]
Rachel: Oh, yeah.
Rachel: No way. No way did you do this.
Rachel: Ohh, are you setting Ross up with someone? Does she have a wedding dress?
Rachel: Aw, its unbelievable! Wow! She is kicking so much! Oh, shes like umm oh whos that kind of annoying girl soccer player?
Rachel: Guess what?
Rachel: Thank you.
Phoebe: So umm, Im gonna get us some drinks. (To Rachel) Would you help me out?
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Rachel is talking with Ben.]
Rachel: Uh, credit card.
Rachel: Um... my... father.
Rachel: I don't think so.
Rachel/actress: It's over! You have to accept that.
[Scene: A lobby, Ross is waiting for Rachel, after her interview.]
Rachel (feeling awkward): So, what do think you wanna order? I'm really excited about that chicken.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: I did.
Rachel: Sorry-
Rachel: Sure, but come on, as big as your wedding?
Rachel: I knew.
Rachel: Yeah, maybe...
Rachel: Goodnight.
Ross: This is crazy! I mean, yes-yes Rachel is my good friend and I-I have loved her in the past, but now, she is just my wife! Phoebe, will you-will you help me out here?
Rachel: I'm just serving it.
Rachel: Umm, well lets see uh, this one is Tom Brokaw.
Rachel: Ohh, its Joshua invited me to this fancy club opening tonight. But, I already told Mr. Waltham that I would take his niece to this dumb old opera. So What are you gonna do?
Chandler: Okay, okay-okay, ah, Chloe works with that guy Issac. Issacs sister is Jasmine. And Jasmine works at that message place with Phoebe. And Phoebes friends with Rachel. And thats the trail, I did it!
Rachel: Okay, well that�s now the third sign that I should not leave Emma.
Rachel: Ok... (and passes the spider to Ross who holds it in between his hands)
Rachel: Has anybody seen my engagement ring?
(Rachel enters from her room.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is laying on the counter and Rachel and Monica are comforting him again.]
Rachel: I believe you. So, it was right in the middle of a staff meeting so of course no one else wants to correct her so everyone else is calling me Raquel! By the end of the day, the mailroom guys were calling me Rocky!
Rachel: Oh, I am sorry...
Rachel: Well yeah, but I mean, it was good scared though, you know? Like when I-moved-to-New-York scared. Or uhm, when I-found-out-I-was-gonna-have-Emma scared... But this is... fine. This is gonna be good. (they both stare around)
Rachel: Go Monana! Well, you ladies are not the only ones living the dream. I get to go pour coffee for people I don't know. Don't wait up. (Exits)
(After hes left, Rachel stops laughing and glares at Joey again.)
Rachel: So what are you gonna do?
Ross: (pause) I am a doctor! Yknow what? Im just gonna go and talk to Rachel myself.
Rachel: Oh that couldn't have been pretty. but you know guys do that.
Rachel: Ahhh, I think you look great! That bag is gonna get you that part.
Rachel: Here we go. Im serving my last cup of coffee. (the gang starts humming the graduation theme) There you go. (hands it to Chandler) Enjoy. (they all cheer)
Rachel: A-alright! I can do this.
Rachel: All right, you guys, I kinda gotta clean up now. (They all start to leave.)
Rachel: You're twins?
Rachel: Oh.. a little..
Rachel: A lot.
Rachel: Remember when we were in high school together?
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, is the one where Rachel screwed up the desert and Ross and Joey are trying to enjoy it.]
Rachel: Yeah and Im a horrible, horrible person.
Rachel: I'm- uh- I'm okay... You look great!
Rachel: The lights, please..
Rachel: Barry?
Rachel: (hesitates) Are you sure?
Ross: No, Rachel got pulled over for speeding. She forgot her licence so now I have to bring it to her.
Rachel: I dumped him.
Rachel: Wow! Would I have seen you in anything?
Rachel: Okay..
Rachel: Wow.
Rachel: What?