words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is in the kitchen as Joey enters from his bedroom.]
Rachel: Hey! You remembered to put clothes on this morning.
Rachel: Oh, Joey, it's so great to be back here. I gotta tell you, you're making it so easy on me and Emma.
Rachel: Well, I'll probably be back to pick her up around six, but she's in the bedroom all ready to go. But she did actually fall back to sleep, so...
Rachel: Bye!
Joey: Yeah. And look, I just want you to know that with Rachel staying here and everything, all my feelings from before are totally over, okay? And even if they weren't, when you accidentally walk in on a woman using a breast pump...
Ross: Sure, I mean, do I wish me and Rachel living together would have worked out? Of course. You know, I'm disappointed, but it's not like it's a divorce.
Ross: No, it's not a divorce, it is not a divorce! Anyway, I think Rachel and I need to, you know, get on with our lives, maybe, maybe start seeing other people.
Phoebe: Goodie! Thanks. So, how is it living with Rachel again? I mean, apart from the great food.
Phoebe: Oh my god, Rachel asked me if I knew anyone for her too.
Phoebe: Yeah. (BEAT) Oh, I know what we can do. We could set Ross and Rachel up on horrible dates, so that they'll realise how good they are together.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. They're in the kitchen as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: You guys aren't doing anything tonight, are you?
Rachel: I was just asking 'cause I need someone to watch Emma tonight.
Rachel: Well, Phoebe set me up on a date.
Rachel: Why? What's the big deal?
Rachel: What, slept together a year and a half ago? Yeah, I'm all set.
Rachel: So I'll bring her by around seven? Is that okay?
Rachel: Oh, you guys are gonna have so much fun! She's at such a cute age. Oh, a couple things. Now that she's eating solid food, she poops around the clock. And watch out for your hair, 'cause she likes to grab it. And oh, she's also in this phase where if you leave the room, she screams bloody murder, but ah... Thanks, you guys. Have fun!
Phoebe: Hey. I'm so excited; I just set up Rachel with the worst guy tonight.
[Scene: Another restaurant. Rachel is studying the menu together with her date, Steve. Steve is the stoned restaurateur from 115 TOW the Stoned Guy.]
Rachel: Wow, everything looks so good! I think I'm gonna have the chicken.
Steve (staring at Rachel): I - I just have to say this; you're really beautiful.
Rachel: Oh, well, that's - that's very sweet. Thank you.
Rachel: What?
Rachel (feeling awkward): So, what do think you wanna order? I'm really excited about that chicken.
Rachel: Well, come on, Steve; let's not rule out nervous laughter. Hey, now wait a minute. Phoebe told me that - that you owned your own restaurant. That's impressive.
Rachel: Really? What's that like?
Rachel (awkward chuckle): Now, come on, come on, Steve. There must be something that you like about yourself.
Rachel: Really?
(Rachel is still at the restaurant, but Steve is gone.)
Rachel: Phoebe, it's me. I'm going to hunt you down and kill you!
Rachel: This is the worst date ever. How could you set me up with this creep?
Rachel: I don't care! This guy is a nightmare!
Rachel: He's not stoned.
Rachel: Yeah, four times.
(Rachel hangs up in disgust.)
Phoebe (to Joey): Well, our plan is working. Rachel is having a miserable time, and Ross is just stood up somewhere at a restaurant all alone.
Monica: Okay, okay, I'm sure that Rachel came home early and picked up Emma. You go look across the hall, and I'll call her cell.
Monica: Hey, you better hope that we're pregnant, because one way or another, we're giving a baby back to Rachel.
[Scene: The street in front of Central Perk. Rachel and Steve are walking home from their date. Steve is sobbing.]
Rachel: No, no, no, I admire a man who can cry.
Rachel: Don't touch my coat!
Rachel: Oh, sorry, it's my phone. Hello?
Rachel: Oh my god, this is the worst date ever!
Rachel (to Steve): Look, you know what, I'm sorry, but did you really think that this was going well? (To Monica.) What's up?
Rachel: No.
Rachel: What? What do you mean, "there you are"? Where was she?
(Monica hangs up, and Rachel looks at her phone.)
Joey: Hey! It is unacceptable that you two would have sex with Emma in the next room. I'm gonna have to tell Rachel about this.
[Scene: The street in front of Central Perk. Steve and Rachel are still there.]
Rachel: Well, uh...
Rachel: Really, really not.
Rachel: All right, well that's good to know. Good night, Steve.
Rachel: I just had a rough night.
Rachel: Eww!
Rachel: Oh, well, I...It's kind of weird talking to you about this, but...
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Oh.
Rachel: Oh, oh no. Do you think she walked in, saw you and left?
Rachel: Well, if it makes you feel any better, I wish my date hadn't shown up.
Rachel: Well, he makes t-shirts for a living, and he thought it would be appropriate to give me this.
(Phoebe sees Rachel and Ross through the window.)
Phoebe: Oh my god! Look, it's Ross and Rachel. Oh, the plan is working.
Rachel: Oh. Huh. You know, it is weird that Phoebe would set me up on a date that was awful on the same night that Joey set you up on a date that didn't even show.
(Rachel and Ross turn around and look at Phoebe and Joey with puzzled expressions on their faces.)
(They run down the street with Ross and Rachel following right behind them.)
Rachel: Why did you invite him?? I can't stand that guy!
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
Rachel: Because you are my sister and Ross and I have this huge history
Rachel: Ross! Your honor, rest assured relationship ended like two years ago! (To the stenographer) And could you strike "Consummated like bunnies" from the record?
(He closes the door again. Once again, Rachel knocks (harder this time) and he answers it.)
(Rachel unlocks and opens the door to reveal a half-naked Chandler handcuffed to the chair. They both gasp and Chandler stares at them in shock and surprise.)
Rachel: I... I... I... (again saying something that cannot be understood)
RACHEL and MONICA: One two three. [Rachel picks rock, Monica picks scissors]
Phoebe: No Dr. Skeptismo! Im sure. First of all, okay, theres the feeling. (Chandler shrugs) Okay, and for another, how about the fact that she went into my guitar case which is lined with orange felt. (Rachel nods her head in unsure agreement) My Mothers favourite fish is Orange Roughy... (Joey thinks he understands, but then nods that he has no clue.) Cats....like....fish! (Ross and Rachel are totally lost) (to the cat) Hi, Mommy. (Rachel covers her mouth, in an Oh my God. gesture) Oh, I havent seen this smile in 17 years!
Marc: Hey! Smile! (Points his camera at Ross and Rachel.)
Rachel: Oh, yeah, ok. Let me just grab my night vision goggles and my stun gun.
Ross: And Im sure youre gonna make a big impression. Hi! Im Rachel Green. Its nice to meet you. (He lifts his leg and imitates shaking hands with it, just like how Rachel was trying to pick up the aspirin with her feet.) Come on, you probably have a broken rib!
Rachel: Nope! (She puts one in her mouth and spits it out, then does it again in another direction.)
Rachel: IOhh! (Moves over and lets Eldad sit on the couch.)
Rachel: Yeah so get ready to hear alot of ehm...boohaki, goshdarnit and brotherpucker.
Rachel: Oh, I don't think she likes the new Hugsy.
Rachel: What, so I can't lokk nice? There might be doctors there.
[Scene: a NYU lecture hall, Rachel and Monica are arriving to talk to Ross after the lecture, but are there early.]
Chandler: (smiling at Monica) Right. (to Rachel) So how're you doing?
PHOEBE: (imitating Rachel) "Oh, I have to get my number back.� Oh my God.� He's gone."� (smiles) Dead on.
(Rachel tries to stop mid-swing, and the swing starts to turn from side to side)
Phoebe: No, okay, youre right. Youre easy-going. Youre just not as easy-going as Rachel. Shes just more flexible and-and mellow. Thats all.
Rachel: Yeah! Oh by the way, thank you for loaning us Pamela and Yasmine.
[Cut to later, Phoebe is still in the chair and Rachel is laying down as Monica enters.]
[Scene: The Auditorium, Ross and Rachel are about to... you know.]
Rachel: Where am I gonna get a cowgirl outfit on Thanksgiving?
Rachel: Its all gonna be okay. Theyre just so happy that Im not suing them that they gave me one extra month paid maternity leave. So long as I understand that the money should not construed as a down payment on this or any other child I should bear.
Rachel: I mean, we are way past the fling thing, I mean, I am feeling things that I've only read about in Danielle Steele books, you know? I mean, when I'm with him, I'm totally, totally...
Rachel: (carrying a tray of drinks) Alright, don't tell me, don't tell me! (Starts handing them out.) Decaf cappucino for Joey.. Coffee black.. Late.. And an iced tea. I'm getting pretty good at this!
Rachel: Phoebe! It's 6 o'clock in the morning! Why aren't you at Gary's?
Rachel: Well, you should be, this is all your fault! You meddled in our relationship!!
Rachel: It kinda worked. I mean yknow, I dont know about you buy I havent thought about our thing since all this.
Rachel: Okay, um, I...(Phoebe walks into her room.) All right Phoebe look, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. OK? I handled the situation horribly and I should not have lied to you.
Rachel: Why hasnt he called Rachel? Why? Why? I dont understand. Why? He said hell call. Why? Why? Chandler Im telling you she has flipped out, shes gone crazy!
TERRY: Rachel, it's not that your friend is bad, it's that she's so bad, she makes me want to put my finger through my eye into my brain and swirl it around.
Rachel: Well look, if you dont like this (The audiences laughter at Chandlers progress cuts out the rest of Rachels line.)
Phoebe: (entering) Hi! It's me. And soup. (to Rachel) Hey, I just saw Josh, he looks so yummy in your leather jacket.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is making a fruit drink in the blender, Rachel has just finished her shower and is coming out of the bathroom.]
Rachel: See look Amy, we're a lot closer to Monica and Chandler. We see them every day. And truthfully honey, you don't seem very connected to the baby.
Rachel: All right! (Throws them back under the cushion.)
Rachel: (scoffs at him) Yeah, thats gonna get you into Soap Opera Digest. Well I (leans into the microphone again) I would just like to say that Joey truly has enriched the days of our lives.
[cut to later, Joey, Rachel, Ross, and Tim are watching the football game, and they all cheer loudly.]
Rachel: I woke up today with the biggest smile on my face.
(Rachel calmly wipes the spittle off her face.)
Rachel: (in a tearful voice) Oh... Oh boy... (she turns around and sees Ross) Hi...
Rachel: Wo-women? You mean like old women?
Joey: Well.. hey, you know what else I could use? There's a scene where Drake sneaks into Olivia's bedroom, and she doesn't know he's there - which never happened with us! And he knows he shouldn't be there, but he just wants to look at her... you know? (In a romantic voice) And I remember all those mornings before you even put on your make-up, when I would think to myself, my God, she...is... beautiful... (Rachel looks very moved) and it hurts so much, cuz I knew I could never tell you (pauses, while looking at her with sentiment) but it was worth it just to be there looking at you.
Rachel: Ross! We broke up two years ago; you've been married since then. I think it's okay that we see other people.
RACHEL: Well, I was thinking maybe a um, a romantic dinner with um, candles and wine and then uh, maybe going back to my place for um, dessert.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, and now Rachel are organizing CDs.]
Rachel: No, not even close. Forget Vail, forget seeing my family, forget shoop, shoop, shoop.
Rachel: (stunned) Oh my God, they told us that was for the mascot!
[Scene: Joeys Premiere, Rachel is already there with her date, Tommy who's played by Ben Stiller who will be in There's Something About Mary and Meet The Parents, as Ross and his date, Cailin, arrive.]
Ross: What? Oh yeah. (He moves next to her head.) Im sorry. I mean I-I think I went a little crazy. I mean I was thinking about myself when I (Wanders towards Rachels feet) reallyI should have been thinking about you Rach
Rachel: Oh my God, I'm starting to look like my great aunt, Muriel.
Rachel: No! Yknow what? No! No! You thing was so stupid anyway, this was ridiculousWere gonna flip a coin! (Phoebe gasps.) All right?! (She flips the coin.) Heads! (Looks at the coin and grunts in disgust.)
[Scene: Barry's Office, Rachel and Barry are getting dressed.]
Rachel: No, but they stuck me in personal shopping. Which is just a huge step down!
Rachel: (crying) No, I know! I get it! Its funny!
Rachel: Oh, I wish he was a doll, then I could get a Rachel doll and bump them together and make kissy noises. Oh! And he has the most beautiful name, I never realised it, Joshua! Josh-u-a! Joshua! Josh.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Rachel is showing Ross around the newly decorated living room.]
RACHEL: But, what you and I have is so much better. Ok, we have tenderness, we have intimacy, we connect. Ya know, I swear, this is the best I have ever had.
Rachel: Its just so frustrating! Why doesnt she want my breast?!
RACHEL: Ok, doggie get the- aahhh. Ok go get the sandwich, get the sandwich doggie. [dog ignores the sandwich] Good doggie get the sandwich, get the...ok, Joey, the dog will lick himself but he will not touch your sandwich, what does that say?
MRS. GELLER: Over here Jack. OK. I see, Rachel's coming up the path. Oh doesn't she look pretty. Jack, get this. [Rachel enters with a huge nose]
Joanna: Sophie, would you please climb out of my butt. Why hasnt he called, Rachel? Why?
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, Rachel is entering carrying two glasses of wine. She gives one to Phoebe, keeps one, and completely ignores Monica.]
Rachel: Ohhh... (slumping in relief) Okay, you were right. You were right! This was just not worth it.
Ross: Hi Rachel! Here's your sister Amy! She thinks I need pec implants!
Monica: Whoa-whoa-whoa, Phoebe you gotta take her! Y’know, I-I-I said some really bad stuff about her, but y’know Rachel has some good qualities that make her a good roommate. She gets tons of catalogs and umm, she’ll fold down the pages of the things she thinks that I’d like.
[Scene: Rachels Outer Office, shes returning from lunch to see Tag not doing his sit-ups.]
Ross: I thought I heard voices! Hi Charlie! (Kisses her.) Hi Joey. (Hugs him.) And.. Oh! You're gonna have to introduce me to your new girlfriend. (Laughs.) I'm just kidding, I know Rachel, I know. (He squeezes her hand.) Come, please come in. Come in.
Rachel: Ooooo!
[Cut to the hallway where Phoebe is conferring with Rachel.]
Rachel: Oh, take the clothes of Joey's Cabbage Patch Kid.
Rachel: Paul. Umm, I just wanted you to know that Ross really is a great guy.
Monica: And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. (To Rachel) (Starts to cry) You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! (They both break down in tears.)
Rachel: Okay, Im totally cool! (She coolly knocks on the door)
Rachel: The bll is drrbing!
Rachel: Well, do you want to hear what actually happened or Joeys lewd version?
(Rachel slowly walks in from her bedroom. She is stunned speechless.)
Rachel: What? Wh-hey!
[Scene: The Lobby of Chandler and Rachels building, Chandler and Rachel are returning from lunch.]
Rachel: Op, but the twelfth brings a lovers spat.
Monica: Look what I got! Look what I got! Look what I got! (She shows Rachel what she bought. She bought a little leather jacket and a little cowboy outfit for the babies.) Can you believe they make these for little people?
Rachel: Look, I know you guys heard about the whole thing with me and Ross but y'know, I've been obsessing about it all day and I'd just love not to talk about it. All right?
(A knock on the door. Rachel swiftly opens it)
Rachel: Well yeah, but then I remembered I started it and there was this pep rally and I was, I was on top of the pyramid but anywayumm, what is this book about?
Rachel: (To Monica) Im okay! Im okay! (She knocks on Mr. Heckles's window.) Mr. Heckles, Mr. Heckles could you help me please?
Rachel: Oh, no! No you guys! Come on, you dont have to do that! Im happy for him! I am! I reallyIm-Im happIll work on it.
Rachel: How many ways are there to do that?
Rachel: Yeah? Wow! Yknow, that this thing has speakers in the headrest!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is giving Rachel, Chandler, Phoebe, and Ross their bills.]
Rachel: Ohh, yeah, well I wanted to give Emily a big American good-bye cheer. So okay! (Runs into the living room) Ready! Okay! Gimme an E!
Rachel: Ross! That's Mark. From Bloomingdales? You were insanely jealous of him.
[Scene: Rachels Office, Joey has brought Dina to meet with Rachel.]
Rachel: ..so, he said it was just a sprain, and that was it.
Rachel: Barry, I'm sorry... I am so sorry... I know you probably think that this is all about what I said the other day about you making love with your socks on, but it isn't... it isn't, it's about me, and I ju- (She stops talking and dials the phone.) Hi, machine cut me off again... anyway...look, look, I know that some girl is going to be incredibly lucky to become Mrs. Barry Finkel, but it isn't me, it's not me. And not that I have any idea who me is right now, but you just have to give me a chance too... (The maching cuts her off again and she redials.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Joey is memorizing his lines. Chandler, Rachel, and Phoebe are there as well.]
Rachel: I know you did. I'm just gonna deal with it, I'm just gonna deal with it. (Ross comes by, smoching with Julie on the phone.) I gotta get out of here. (Exits)