words in movies
(In the apartment below, Mr.Heckles is trying to relax and read his newspaper, but Rachel is helplessly dangling upside-down with her ankle wrapped up in the Christmas lights.)
Joey: Hey little buddy, how are you feeling? (The duck does not get sick and Joey recoils in horror and heads for the couch.) What the hell is in that face cream? (Hes about to try out the couch but notices the bed in Rachels room. He walks into her room and feels the bed.) Thats so soft. (He pulls back the comforter.) Pillowcases! (He climbs in and groans in delight. Suddenly, he feels something under him and pulls out a little beat up paperback book. He opens it and starts to read from it.) (In his head.) Zelda looked at the chimney sweep. Her father, the vicar (Stops reading and thinks.) The vicar? (Continues reading) wouldnt be home for hours. Her loins were burning. She threw caution to the wind and reached out and grabbed his (Out loud.) Whoa! (Reads on in silence.) Whoa-ho-ho-ho! This is a dirty book! (Continues to read.)
Phoebe: Well, if you must know I have written 14 books. And as I am the only one who has read them, I can tell you that they all have been very well received.
Ross: No, Monicas restaurant got a horrible review in the Post. (They all gasp.) I didnt want her to see it, so I ran around the neighborhood and bought all the copies I could find. (He hands the paper to Phoebe and they all read it.)
Phoebe: That’s nice. I like having things to read in the bathroom.
Monica: Y'know, so I don't read as many important books as you do, and I don't write trick poems that seem to be about one thing but are actually about something else. And y'know what, I get excited about stupid stuff, like when I my People magazine comes on Saturday, and the new Hold Everything catalog. Y'know but that does not mean that I'm empty, I care about things. I care about my friends and family. You have no right to make that kind of judgment about me.
Young Ethan: You know, you read about it, you see it in the movies. Even when you practice it at home, man oh man, it is nothing like that.
Phoebe: I thought you said you read it in high school.
Cashier: Oh no-no, Im fascinated by paleontology. Have you read the new Walter Alvarez book?
Chandler: Yeah, actually. So, you read a file that you liked and you gave the agency the serial number and they contacted us?
Chandler: I wouldn't read too much into it.
[Scene: The Subway, Joey sees his poster and he peels off the caption on his poster, revealing more posters underneath. The captions read, as follows:
Phoebe: Well thats no way to sell newspapers. Why dont you try, "Extra! Extra! Read all about it!"
RACH: And I'm in it? Then let me read it.
Rachel: I didnt uh, really have time to read this part of the books, but do you think we have time to
Monica: I read to you.
Ross: Yeah, I'm gonna stay and read my book. I just wanna be alone right now.
Rachel: Oh! I would love to read a poem.
Supervisor: So basically this is very easy. You read from the script and try to sell as much toner as you possibly can.
MONICA: Ya know what, I think I'm gonna go to my room and read Cosmo, maybe there's something helpful in there. Know what, at least maybe I can learn how to do an at home bikini wax with leftover Cristmas candles.
Joey: Ross, did you really read all these baby books?
Rachel: We just uh, we just met at the newsstand. We both grabbed for the last Field & Stream. (Chandlers shocked.) What? I read that.
Joey: Yeah, its for the kids. To keep the kids off drugs. Its a very important issue in this months Playboy. Im sure you all read about it.
MONICA: Rachel you have to read this book. It's called Be Your Own Windkeeper. It's about how women need to become more empowered.
Ross: You'd better hope not because I just read what you put on your page today.
Chandler: Lie!!! How hard is that?! The checks in the mail! Oh your baby is so cute! I cant wait to read your book Ross!!
Rachel: I mean, we are way past the fling thing, I mean, I am feeling things that I've only read about in Danielle Steele books, you know? I mean, when I'm with him, I'm totally, totally...
Monica: Have I read it? (pause) No, are you enjoying it?
Phoebe: Yeah, last Saturday. Wow! She was the first black man to fly solo across the Atlantic. (Chandler and Monica look puzzled) Oh, wait a minute, I read the wrong one.
CHAN: OK, look, that is one guy's opinion, alright. Phoebs, read yours.
Rachel: What are you talking about, Ross, you just said that you read it twice! Look, y'know what, either it does or it doesnt, and if you have to even think about it...
Chandler: For my last birthday you gave me a hug! (To Rachel) Okay, read the card! Read the card!
Malcom: These are my night vision goggles. This is the book I pretend to read when I'm watching her in the park. And these are Mad Lips, they're just for fun.
Monica: Okay. I-I can't watch. (Leaves as sits down to read the paper.)
Rachel: (to Monica): Really? (out loud): Sure, we have scones left! (to Monica): OK, read them to me.
ROSS: I just wanna read something. It's your pro list.
CHAN: Does anyone have one from a different paper? Ross, read yours.
Mr. Geller: Don't listen to your mother. You're independent, and you always have been! Even when you were a kid... and you were chubby, and you had no friends, you were just fine! And you would read alone in your room, and your puzzles...
Ross: Well, I wanted to be thorough. I mean this-this is clearly very, very important to you, to us! And so I wanted to read every word carefully, twice!
Rachel: How often do you read it?
Joey: In my spare time I uh, read to the blind. And Im also a mento for the kids.(The gang shake their heads.) Yknow a mento, a role model. (Chandler bites his fist to keep from talking.)
Rachel: Oh mom, I swear Im not an idiot. Ive read all kinds of books on pregnancy and giving birth, but I-I just didnt think to read the part about what to do when the baby comes. And-and then guess what? The babys coming and I dont know what to do. Oh, can I throw up in my diaper genie?
Joey: Yeah but I didnt read anything.
EDDIE: I tell ya, I-, I'm gonna go read in my room for a little while.
Phoebe: Yeah! Okayooh, but are you going to have time to read it?
ROSS: No, no, I mean, ya know, I, I read a book and there was a girl named Emily and I thought, I thought that might be good.
Joey: Havent you ever read the same book over and over again?
Phoebe: Yeah but why didn't you just say that you didn't read the book?!
PHOEBE: Oooh, so so so, did you read the book?
Rachel: Well, I was gonna, but I accidentally read something else.
Joey: Wait a minute. That sounds a little familiar! Did they already do that one? Cause I think I read it!
CHAN: My diary! My diary, that's brilliant. I should have told her it was my diary, she never would have made me read her my diary.
Phoebe: Well how would you know?! You didn't even read it!
Erica: Yeah, when I read about you two, I was pretty sure I wanted you, but I just thought we should meet face to face. (to the agency guy). I've made my decision. I choose them.
(They both start to read ahead.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are about to read another one of Joey's efforts.]
Kate: By the way, he dumped me tonight after he read my review.
Frank: They musta read the sonogram wrong. 'Cause they, 'cause they thought it was a boy, but Chandler's a girl! Chandler's a girl!
Mr. Zelner: Umm, no. Thanks, but Ill give these to Betty. (Rachel glances at Tag to say, "See?") So I read your evaluation of Tag, or to use his full name, Tag Sweetcheeks Jones. Is something going on with you two?
Phoebe: No! You should've read it yourself!
(Phoebe enters, walks to the couch, sits down, and begins to read a letter without saying hi.)
Chandler: Oh, is it on the computer, cuz I'd love to give it a read...?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is watching Joey read Little Women, Ross is also there.]
Mackenzie: I read a lot.
Joey: No wonder Rachel had to read this so many times.
Carol: (noticing a kid who has picked up a copy of Variety to read) Hey, that kid looks familiar.
(She starts walking across the darkened room and hits her head on a wind chime hanging from the ceiling, to stop it from making a noise she grabs it and Shhhs it. She goes into the kitchen and finds Phoebe Sr.s appointment book, to read it she opens the freezer. Just as she starts to read, Phoebe Sr. jumps out from her bedroom with a coat hanger, startling Phoebe.)
MONICA: So, I read this article in the paper the other day that says you're not supposed to throw rice at weddings, because when pigeons eat rice it kills them.
(Ross and Chandler start to read Joey's script aloud.)
Rachel: Oh, I read that in high school.
Phoebe: You didn't read this one either?!
(They spilt into their sexes and the girls read Monicas and the guys read Chandlers. The girls gasp and groan and the guys laugh hysterically.
(Rachel kisses him, and goes upstairs. After shes gone, Ross frantically tries to find and read the Does it? part.)
Joey: Thanks. (Starts to read it.) Well but this one starts now. (Points to one.)
Phoebe: My guy is well read.
Phoebe: Left! (Rachel hands her the napkin in her left hand and they both unfold and read them.) Thank you.
Rachel: (hugging him) So did you read your evaluation yet?
Kim: I didnt read it.
Joey: Yeah, well, that's fine, but the important thing is that I finished it. And uh, I think it's really good, but y'know it'd really help me is if I could hear it. So would you guys read it for me?
Monica: Okay, Im done. Read mine.
Monica: Ok, here we go. We need to sort out the tickets as quickly as possible to see if we've won. So does anybody have any ideas how to organize this? (doesn't let them answer) Ok, how about this: we divide them into 6 groups of 40, and the remaining 10 can be read by whoever finishes their pile first.
Phoebe: Because my psychic is dead! She mustve read the cards wrong!
Rachel: Okay. Ah, well well just see about that, okay. I will read The Shining, (she tries to take the book away from him but he doesnt want to let it go) and you will read Little Women.
Rachel: Oh, can we read them?
[Scene: Rachel's new job, she's in her new boss's office (Kim's) and with the other assistant (Nancy). Together they're deciding what clothes to buy or something, who knows, let's all watch/read to find out.]
Monica: You read comic books right?
JOEY: Hey, uh, why don't you read it to her?
Ross: (chases her) Oh yeah, yeah? Well uh, when we were going out, I read tons of porno magazines! (Realizes a table of women overheard him.) (To that table.) Sup?
Chandler: Ino! I didn't read the box before I opened it. And you can't return a box after you've opened the box.
Chandler: I didnt know you read tea leaves.
Waiter: I know! I havent even read them the specials yet!
JOEY: See, this is why I don't date women who read. Uh-oh.
(Why was this the trailer? Well, thats because it was an introduction into the special out takes episode that immediately followed the show. The entire out takes episode, Friends: The Stuff Youve Never Seen can be read by following this link.)
Phoebe: Thats nice. I like having things to read in the bathroom.
Erica: Yeah, I read some great applications, but then I thought “who better then a minister to raise a child!”
Joey: (entering) Hey Rach! Hey, you mind if I read my comic books in here?
Ross: I know, I know! When I was here for Holidays on Ice (Joey looks around worried hoping no one heard that) I was sitting so far away Michelle Kwan couldn't read my banner!
Monica: Uh, so anyway, we thought one of you could read something during the ceremony.
RACHEL: Mom, would you relax. That was 10 blocks from here and, the, the woman was walking alone at night, I would never do that. Mom, c'mon, stop worrying. This is a safe street, this is a safe building, there's nothing [a pigeon flies in the window and lands on the table] OH MY GOOOD, oh my God, oh I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go. [hangs up] OK, that's fine, you just read the paper, I'm gonna get a pot, it's not for you. [grabs a pot and lid] OK, that's fine, read the Family Circus, enjoy the gentle comedy. [puts pot over the pigeon] Aaahh, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, aaaaahh. [knock at the door] It's open you guys.
Chandler: I believe I read that somewhere!
Rachel: Mrs. Bing, I have to tell you, I've read everything you've ever written. No, I mean it! I mean, when I read Euphoria at Midnight, all I wanted to do was become a writer.