words in movies
MONICA: It is nothing like the Hobbit. It's like reading about every relationship I've ever had, except for Richard.
PHOEBE: Oh yes, no, Richard would never steal your wind.
(Rachel enters in this hideous pink bride's maid dress, with a huge silver bow on her chest, and a big, huge skirt, kinda like the one's women wore in the 1800s, Monica and Richard both stare in shock)
Chandler: Oh, yeah, well, poor Richard. Y'... I can grow a moustache!
Richard: Actually, Im not here to complement the chef.
Ross: What? (Excited) A-ohh! (Realizes) Ohh. Oh thats right thats right. Thats Richards favorite place too.
Chip: Ehh, y'know after high school, you just kinda lose touch. Oh yeah! I ran into Richard Dorfman.
RICHARD: But... he gets it back, pass to the middle, lines it up and... BAM! Yes! Could that shot BE any prettier?
[Scene: Richards Apartment, time lapse. Richard is smoking as he hears a knock on the door. He quickly puts out his cigar and opens the door.]
RICHARD: Then, you're redoing it because...
Richard: Yeah, I understand. Take as much time as you want. (Pause) Ten, even twenty minutes if you need it. Ill be here. Not smoking. (Monica leaves.)
Richard: You were gonna propose? (Sits on the arm of the couch.)
Monica: I'm going into business people. I'm sick and tired of being depressed about Richard. I needed a plan, a plan to get over my man. What's the opposite of man? Jam. (sees Joey trying some jam from the pot) Oh Joey don't! It's way to hot. (Joey realizes this and spits what he had in his mouth back into the pot.)
RICHARD: Ok, I have to sleep on the west side because I grew up in California and otherwise the ocean would be on the wrong side.
Richard: Ill just throw them out.
Richard: Absolutely, this will just be something we do, like racquetball.
Monica: (on machine) "Hi, uh, Richard it's Monica, um, listen I did something kind of crazy tonight, um, maybe I'm getting my period or something, I don't know." Nooo!!
JOEY: Ok, uh, hey Richard, if you had an extra ticket to the Knicks game and you had to choose between a friend who smells and one who bruises you who would you pick?
Chandler: Richard! No one supposed to know about us! (Richard just smiles at him.) See I, did it again.
Paul: And in fifth grade I got into a fight. Well, it wasnt really a fight. Richard Darinvel bit me on the nose and, and I feel down. I still have a little scare right here (points to it) you can see it.
Richard: The picture of my wife! In your pack!
RICHARD: Hey come on, you haven't heard my reason yet.
Richard: Im wearing two belts.
Monica: I mean, my feelings for Richard are certainly gone.
Richard: I didnt ask. You wanna come in?
Richard: Oh, thank you. Youre welcome. (He stands up, staggers to the couch, and starts to lie down.)
[Scene: at Barry and Mindy's reception, Monica and Richard are sitting at a table, and Monica is trying to throw a piece of candy into his mouth.]
RICHARD: Boy I would just uh, I would freak out.
[Scene: Richards Apartment, Monica is looking around and notices an African mask hanging on the wall.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are there. Phoebe enters.]
Story by Mark J. Kunerth Teleplay by Richard Goodman Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Richards Date: Well, I just wanted to see where you lived. Now, give me the tour.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are setting the table.]
RICHARD: Monica's making us watch Old Yeller.
Richard: I know this is crazy but am I too late?
MONICA: Hi. Richard just told me he loves me.
RICHARD: Charlotte who?
Monica: Oh my God. Richard? (turns around) Hi!
Phoebe: (sitting down) Oh good! All right, so you decided to tell him about the Richard thing.
Monica: This is crazy! I mean, it's such a stupid argument. I don't even wanna see Richard again.
Richard: That can be arranged.
RICHARD: Yeah, if I have to. Monica, I don't wanna lose you, so if I have to do it all over again, then I will.
Richards Date: Yeah, but I didnt get to see it.
Phoebe: Richard Simmons?! Oh my God!
RICHARD: Yeah, just, I feel like I'm about a hundred. I thought I was just one of the guys.
Richard: And-and then I sneak out and before Monica can her parents come in.
MRS. GELLER: Richard. Richard. Your son isn't seeing anyone is he?
Chandler: No! Her boyfriend Richard!
(They hug, and Richard notices a stocking stuck to Monicas back, which he removes for her.)
MONICA: Ok. [Richard walks in] Hey, why don't you ask Richard?
RICHARD: Oh, hey. I love children, I have children. I just don't want to be 70 when our kids go off to college, and our lives can finally start.
RICHARD: Uh, in the future, if I could see the schedule beforehand...
RICHARD: Hey, be right there.
Dedicated to the Memory of Richard L. Cox, Sr.
Richard: Wow. Y'know were back where we were. Honey, I would love to do all that, but nothings changed.
Ross: Well, this is ironic. Of your last two boyfriends, Richard didnt want to have kids, and from the looks of it, now Pete cant.
RICHARD: Uh, the guy was Lou Gehrig. Didn't you kinda see it coming?
RICHARD: Wow. Well being a huge Knicks fan myself, I think you should take someone who's a huge Knicks fan.
Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard! I cant go to him when I dont have a boyfriend!
Richard: Well yeah, Im sorry. I know this is the wrong time and the wrong place but I had to tell ya! I wanna spend my life with you. I wanna marry you. I wanna have kids with you.
RICHARD: That's fine. Well, your other dad and I are gonna go have a romantic evening and I guess I'll just see you kids around.
RICHARD: Oh honey, I'm fine.
RICHARD: Hey Phoebs, what's happening?
[Richard enters]
JOEY: How come Richard looks so much cooler with one of these than me?
MONICA: You know what, I think it's cute, you trying to be more like Richard.
RICHARD: It's the basketball playoffs.
Richard: Oh, okay. Well, Ill just leave the door open and go sit on the couch. (Does so.)
MONICA: Hey. Where is he, where's Richard? Did you ditch him?
RICHARD: Hey, you're gettin' better. I'm gonna keep this by the way.
Richard: We may not have any weapons, but we still have food. In the basement I saw potatoes and some dry pasta, and a few tins of tuna! (Joey backs away and wipes his face again.)
Richard: Oh, hey look nothing happened.
CHANDLER: Hey listen, we've gotta go, I promised Richard we'd meet him downstairs.
MONICA: You're meeting Richard?
[Cut to that same kitchen, only this is The One With The Proposal, Richard is telling Monica something.]
RICHARD: I know, I know. Just hang in there, OK. OK, I'll go out first, alright.
PHOEBE: What, what's about to happen? [starts watching] I've never seen this part before. Hey, Travis, watcha doin' with that gun? Oh no, no no Travis, put down the gun. No no no no, he he's your buddy, he's your Yeller, no, no no, the end, THE END. [hear the gunshot from the TV] [Scene:Monica and Rachel's apartment. Richard is on the balcony smoking and Monica is on the phone.]
RICHARD: Ok. [leaves]
Monica: Me going out with Richards son.
Richard: Is that my ass? (Hes looking at Joeys.)
RICHARD: Guys. Seriously, it is not like that.
RICHARD: Happy birthday.
RICHARD: How ya doin'?
RICHARD: Jack, would you let it go?
RICHARD: She's not a twinkie.
RICHARD: Oh?
RICHARD: What?
RICHARD: Oh, thank you Phoebs. That's very sweet.
RICHARD: Really?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing Richard at foosball.]
RICHARD: Two.
RICHARD: Uh, Phoebe, I don't think your mom would want you to see what's about to happen.
RICHARD: Right, and...
RICHARD: Right.
RICHARD: Shall we?
RICHARD: Monica.
RICHARD: Well, we had a table in college.
[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Monica is in the bathroom and Richard comes in.]
RICHARD: No.
RICHARD: Uh-oh.
RICHARD: Hey.
RICHARD: Is everything all right?