words in movies
Richard: (standing behind her, without his moustache) I can help with that.
Monica: Oh my God. Richard? (turns around) Hi!
Richard: Hi!
Monica: Wow! Your lip went bald. (Richard pays the clerk) Hey, thanks.
Richard: So, you look great.
Richard: No you do. You... just...
Richard: Youve got panties stuck to your leg.
Richard: Its good to see you.
(They hug, and Richard notices a stocking stuck to Monicas back, which he removes for her.)
Richard: Hes gonna go up to the counter with Citizen Kane, Vertigo, and Clockwork Orgy. (they both laugh) This is nice.
Richard: I missed this.
Richard: So, you wanna get a hamburger or something?
Richard: Oh. Look, just friends, I wont grope you. I promise.
Richard: No its not too soon, I had lunch at a eleven.
Monica: Yeah well, I ran into Richard.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is teaching Richard how to make lasagne.]
Richard: So when people complement me on my cooking should I, what do I say?
Richard: Ew, this feels very weird.
Richard: Yeah, well, sure I touch them, but I spent years learning not to squish them. (Monica grabs his hand in the tomatoes.) Thats my hand.
Richard: Okay.
Richard: Tomatoes are squishing.
(Richard squishes a little too hard and some lands on his shirt.)
Richard: Op.
Richard: Yeah.
Richard: What?
Richard: Ill just throw them out.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is talking to Richard on the phone.]
Monica: Yeah, I do think its better this way. (listens) Yeah, were being smart. (gets up to answer the door) (listens) Yes, Im sure.(she opens the door and its Richard)
Richard: You really sure?
[Scene: Monicas bedroom, shes in bed with Richard.]
Richard: Absolutely, this will just be something we do, like racquetball.
Richard: Just your dad. (pause) Although thats actually racquetball. You know I-I do have a blind date with my sisters neighbour next Tuesday.
Richard: You want me to cancel it?
Richard: Okay.
Richard: Exactly. (pushes her back)
(She goes into her bedroom, and sees Richard who has covered the room in roses and has two glasses of wine and a rose between his lips.)
Richard: Hello.
[Scene: Richards bedroom, Monica has covered it in rose pedals and candles. We hear Richard come in to the apartment, and Monica frantically throws the rest of the pedals on the bed, and jumps onto the bed and puts a rose in her mouth, and bites a thorn.]
Richard: (outside the bedroom) Really?! Well, its just like everyone elses apartment. Its got rooms, walls, and ceilings.
Richards Date: Well, I just wanted to see where you lived. Now, give me the tour.
Monica: Oh my God! Oh my God! (She frantically tries to clean up the bedroom as Richard starts the tour.)
Richard: Ah well, this is the living room.
Richards Date: Impressive.
Richard: All right. This is the kitchen.
Richards Date: Oh, thats real pretty. Wait a minute, dont I get to see the bedroom?
Richard: The bedroom. Well its pretty much your typical... (opens the door as Monica hides under the covers, and quickly closes the door before his date can see the room.) bedroom.
Richards Date: Were still on this side of the door.
Richard: Um-hmm.
Richards Date: Yeah, but I didnt get to see it.
Richard: Oh shoot! Maybe next time. (yawns) Thanks for a lovely evening. (shows her out)
[Cut to into the bedroom, with Monica still hiding under the covers. Richard enters and sits down next to her.]
Richard: Oh, (laughs) that was the blind date that I told you about, she called and switched it to today.
Richard: Well, you seem fine.
Richard: You mean like exclusive friends?
Richard: Wow. Y'know were back where we were. Honey, I would love to do all that, but nothings changed.
Richard: Okay, okay, one things changed. But we still want different things and we know how this is gonna end.
Richard: I know I couldnt. So....
(They both kiss, and Richard picks her up and goes over to the bed and starts to lie down.)
Richard: (lying down) Ow!!
Monica: Okay, I umm, I ran into Richard yesterday and he asked me if I wanted to go for a bite and I did. The only reason I didn't tell you is because I knew you'd get mad and I didn't want to spoil our anniversary.
Chandler: What?! Im Chandler! (She nods towards the doorway, Chandler turns and looks) Oh, thats Richard!
ROSS: Who's Richard Burke? Doc, Doctor Burke? You have a date with Doctor Burke? Why, why, why should that bother me? I, I love that man, he's like a uh, brother to dad.
Phoebe: Really, it doesn't mean anything. I mean, you know, Monica refers to Chandler as Richard all the time!
Richard: Oh youre awesome! And, in that last speech? You soaked me.
Ross: Hey, y'know, Mon, if things wrong out between you and Richards son, youd be able to tell your kids, that you slept with their grandfather.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, well Richard raved about the food at his party, of course you were sleeping with him. Then I heard the food at that lesbian wedding was very nice, I assume you werent sleeping with anybody there. Though, at least that would be something. (Leaves)
Mr. Geller: We started saving again when you were dating Richard and then that went to hell, so we redid the kitchen.
Richard: Yeah hes no good. Do you ever (pause) think about me in a (pause) non-eye doctor way?
Chandler: Don't say Richard! Well, if they're not Monica's and they're not yours, then whose are they?
Monica: Noo! My ex-boyfriend Richard! Y'know the tall guy, moustache?
Richard: So Monica let me ask you a question. Yknow, since we broke up do you ever, think about me?
Chandler: Why would Monica be keeping Richard in here?
RICHARD: Okay, last chance. (Monica throws the candy and hits some woman in the back of the head, Richard turns around and says) Again, I'm sorry.
Chandler: (to Richards date) And uh, you dont have a mustache which is good. (She just smiles.) Im Chandler; I make jokes when Im uncomfortable.
Phoebe: Monica had lunch with Richard.
Monica: Hi, uh, Richard it's Monica, um, listen I did something kind of crazy tonight, um, maybe I'm getting my period or something, I don't know. Um, anyway, I, I, I beeped into your machine and I heard a message that, that freaked me out, and um, you know what Michelle will tell you the rest. I, I, um, I'm sorry, okay, I, I hope that we can forget the whole thing. Okay, bye.
RICHARD: What're we looking at? That blue freckle?
Richard: Well, apparently Im willing to offer her things that you are not.
(And as Joey walks out the door, Richard grabs a bottle of Scotch, just as the door closes and carries it with him.)
Phoebe: That is so weird! I had a dream that you'd have lunch with Richard.
Phoebe: (on phone) Hi! Yeah, Im calling on behalf of Monica Gellers eye, and is um, is Richard Burke in today. (Listens) (to Monica) Hes out of town, but does she want to see the on-call doctor?
Chandler: Well, its not your fault. What are you gonna do? Not take her to the hospital? Yknow? Youre doing nothing wrong. (Pause) Except for harboring an all consuming love for the woman whose carrying his baby. (He loses his card behind the door.) Richard? If-if youre in there, could you pass me my credit card?
RICHARD: Ooh, then I guess the panty raid last night was totally uncalled for. Ok, I am going to take a shower and today I will be singing Jim Crochee's Leroy Brown.
Richard: Okay thats fine, Ill walk away. And Ill never bother you again, but only if you tell me Chandlers willing to give you everything I am.
Richard: Shes not here and please come in.
Richard: (approaching them with a woman in tow) Monica! Chandler!
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe is singing. Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel are listening.]
RICHARD: What're you talkin' about, I was killin' 'em.
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey and Richard are in the middle of a scene. They are both holding swords.]
MONICA: [her and Richard return to her place] So are you ok?
Phoebe: All right. No, no, no, not a Richard thing, just put down the glass. And get out!
Matire'd: (to Richard) Youre tables ready sir.
RICHARD: Are you remaking the bed?
RICHARD: My parents are dead.
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is getting his make-up touched up as Richard approaches.]
Richard: Why do have a picture of Paulette in your pack?!
Rachel: Because its Richards son! Its like inviting Greek tragedy over for dinner!
Monica: I'm fine, just a little tired, I'm okay. How's Richard doing?
RICHARD: Monica... [He re-enters the bedroom and Monica jumps on the bed, trying to cover it.] Hey Mon, I have a question. Is Leroy the baddest man in the whole damn town or the fattest man in the whole damn town?
RICHARD: No, it's been a long time since your dad and I went running.
ROSS: [comes out of the bedroom] Rachel. [growls then sees Richard standing there] Hey.
Richard: Thats what real actors do! Annunciation is the mark of a good actor! And when you enunciate, you spit! (Spits on the t)
(Rachel enters in this hideous pink bride's maid dress, with a huge silver bow on her chest, and a big, huge skirt, kinda like the one's women wore in the 1800s, Monica and Richard both stare in shock)
Chandler: Oh, yeah, well, poor Richard. Y'... I can grow a moustache!
Richard: Actually, Im not here to complement the chef.
Ross: What? (Excited) A-ohh! (Realizes) Ohh. Oh thats right thats right. Thats Richards favorite place too.
RICHARD: Then, you're redoing it because...
Chip: Ehh, y'know after high school, you just kinda lose touch. Oh yeah! I ran into Richard Dorfman.
Monica: I'm going into business people. I'm sick and tired of being depressed about Richard. I needed a plan, a plan to get over my man. What's the opposite of man? Jam. (sees Joey trying some jam from the pot) Oh Joey don't! It's way to hot. (Joey realizes this and spits what he had in his mouth back into the pot.)
[Scene: Richards Apartment, time lapse. Richard is smoking as he hears a knock on the door. He quickly puts out his cigar and opens the door.]
RICHARD: Ok, I have to sleep on the west side because I grew up in California and otherwise the ocean would be on the wrong side.
Chandler: Richard! No one supposed to know about us! (Richard just smiles at him.) See I, did it again.
RICHARD: But... he gets it back, pass to the middle, lines it up and... BAM! Yes! Could that shot BE any prettier?
Richard: Yeah, I understand. Take as much time as you want. (Pause) Ten, even twenty minutes if you need it. Ill be here. Not smoking. (Monica leaves.)
Richard: You were gonna propose? (Sits on the arm of the couch.)
Monica: (on machine) "Hi, uh, Richard it's Monica, um, listen I did something kind of crazy tonight, um, maybe I'm getting my period or something, I don't know." Nooo!!
JOEY: Ok, uh, hey Richard, if you had an extra ticket to the Knicks game and you had to choose between a friend who smells and one who bruises you who would you pick?
Richard: The picture of my wife! In your pack!
Paul: And in fifth grade I got into a fight. Well, it wasnt really a fight. Richard Darinvel bit me on the nose and, and I feel down. I still have a little scare right here (points to it) you can see it.
RICHARD: Hey come on, you haven't heard my reason yet.
Richard: Im wearing two belts.
Richard: I didnt ask. You wanna come in?
Richard: Oh, thank you. Youre welcome. (He stands up, staggers to the couch, and starts to lie down.)
[Scene: at Barry and Mindy's reception, Monica and Richard are sitting at a table, and Monica is trying to throw a piece of candy into his mouth.]
Monica: I mean, my feelings for Richard are certainly gone.
Story by Mark J. Kunerth Teleplay by Richard Goodman Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
[Scene: Richards Apartment, Monica is looking around and notices an African mask hanging on the wall.]
RICHARD: Boy I would just uh, I would freak out.
Richard: I know this is crazy but am I too late?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are there. Phoebe enters.]
RICHARD: Monica's making us watch Old Yeller.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are setting the table.]
MONICA: Hi. Richard just told me he loves me.
RICHARD: Charlotte who?
Monica: This is crazy! I mean, it's such a stupid argument. I don't even wanna see Richard again.
Phoebe: (sitting down) Oh good! All right, so you decided to tell him about the Richard thing.
RICHARD: Yeah, if I have to. Monica, I don't wanna lose you, so if I have to do it all over again, then I will.
RICHARD: Yeah, just, I feel like I'm about a hundred. I thought I was just one of the guys.
Richard: And-and then I sneak out and before Monica can her parents come in.
MRS. GELLER: Richard. Richard. Your son isn't seeing anyone is he?
Phoebe: Richard Simmons?! Oh my God!
Richard: That can be arranged.
RICHARD: Uh, in the future, if I could see the schedule beforehand...
Chandler: No! Her boyfriend Richard!
RICHARD: Oh, hey. I love children, I have children. I just don't want to be 70 when our kids go off to college, and our lives can finally start.
RICHARD: Hey, be right there.
MONICA: Ok. [Richard walks in] Hey, why don't you ask Richard?
Dedicated to the Memory of Richard L. Cox, Sr.
Ross: Well, this is ironic. Of your last two boyfriends, Richard didnt want to have kids, and from the looks of it, now Pete cant.
RICHARD: Wow. Well being a huge Knicks fan myself, I think you should take someone who's a huge Knicks fan.
Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard! I cant go to him when I dont have a boyfriend!
RICHARD: Uh, the guy was Lou Gehrig. Didn't you kinda see it coming?
RICHARD: Oh honey, I'm fine.
RICHARD: That's fine. Well, your other dad and I are gonna go have a romantic evening and I guess I'll just see you kids around.
Richard: Oh, hey look nothing happened.
MONICA: Hey. Where is he, where's Richard? Did you ditch him?
RICHARD: Hey, you're gettin' better. I'm gonna keep this by the way.
Richard: Well yeah, Im sorry. I know this is the wrong time and the wrong place but I had to tell ya! I wanna spend my life with you. I wanna marry you. I wanna have kids with you.
[Richard enters]