words in movies
(She hands the baby to Joey who pulls down the blanket to reveal Rosss face where the babys should be.)
Ross: (crying) I hope youre a better father than youre a friend!! (Cries again and Joey wakes up in horror.)
Phoebe: It does! How would you feel if you couldnt share your cooking? Or-or imagine how Ross would feel if he couldnt teach us about dragons.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Rachel are there as Ross enters.]
Ross: Hey!
Joey: Hey Ross! The babys kicking!
Ross: What?! It is?! (He tries to quickly remove his gloves, but runs into trouble and finally throws them off of his hands like a hockey player in a fight and grabs Rachels belly.)
Ross: Hey, when-when was it kicking? What happened?
Ross: My God, the babys kicking. Thats great. Although I kinda wish I-I wouldve been there to feel the kicking for the first time yknow.
Ross: Look, I-I dont want to miss anymore baby stuff. So Here. Heres my new pager number, okay? Anytime anything pregnancy related happens use it! Ill be there! Okay? I dont care if its three in the morning and all you want is ice cream.
Joey: Absolutely. But, were gonna stop by the hospital just to be sure, okay? Ill page Ross on the way. Come on.
Joey: (seeing Ross) Oh hey-hey!
Ross: (rushes in) Is everything okay?
Ross: Your page said come to the hospital, what? What was it? What happened?
Ross: Oh. Oh. Thank God, most women dont even feel them.
Ross: Oh when you beeped me I was on line at the concession stand at the movie theater.
Ross: No IMona!
Ross: What? Why? Whats wrong?
Ross: No really, you tell me whats up.
Rachel: I-I forgot my underwear. (Ross lets her go.)
Ross: (To Joey) So, thanks so much for bringing her to the hospital.
Ross: Yeah but still, I mean it shouldve been me. Im the dad.
Joey: Oh uh, hey. Not as good as this guy! (Grabs Ross around the shoulders.) He brought Twizlers!
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Chandler: Okay. (They switch places and Chandler gets out a credit card.) So uh, Ross is kinda bummed huh?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is balancing an aluminum can on her stomach as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Hey Ross! Check it out! I learned a new trick!
Ross: Hey uh, I brought you some lunch.
Ross: Well yeah!
Rachel: Oh Ross!! (Runs to the bathroom and closes the door.)
Ross: What?! What?! Rach what?!
Ross: I made her favorite, tuna salad with pickles.
Ross: (to Rachel) I-Im sorry Rach, I didnt know. Are you gonna be okay?
Ross: I cant believe this! I shouldnt be the one making her throw up!
Ross: Yeah? Not to you, because you know this stuff. I dont know any of it and Im the father. I wish Id be more involved yknow.
Ross: Yeah.
Joey: The thing is cause I live with Rachel Im here for a lot of the stuff, okay? (To Rachel) And Ross Ross is missing everything. So
Rachel: But Joey, I dont think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean(Ross turns to her with wishful eyes.)Or he does.
Ross: No I-I-I would love to be around for you and the baby. And we-we can just try it like on a temporary basis.
Rachel: But Ross, its you and me!
Ross: So? Sure! But it-it wouldnt be anything romantic. And Im-Im dating MonaDamnit Mona! I was supposed to meet her like an hour ago! What is wrong with me?!
Ross: No! No its not. Joey, this is a smart idea.
Ross: Really?
Ross: Oh Rach thats great. Thats great. (They hug and Joey breathes a sigh of relief.)
Ross: Yeah, Ill take some.
Ross: What?
Phoebe: (angrily) Bye-bye! (to Ross) Thats why I moved out.
Ross: (crying) Yeah, but this cant be it, I mean.
Ross: Hey.
ROSS: I'm sorry I'm late, what happened?
Ross: So how many more do you have tomorrow?
(Ross pulls out a huge box of laundry detergent.)
ROSS: I'm shipping out tomorrow.
Chandler: I'm sure it's somebody for you. Now, go hide. (Ross hides in the bedroom again)
(Ross and Chandler have stunned looks on their faces as Kathy and her co-star start making out.)
Ross: And-and to years of hard work finally paying off.
Ross: Because you're a kook! Instead you wait until they send you a notice.
Ross: Fine. Fine, alright, now you'll never know.
Ross: No! Come on letsOne more time! One final push! Ready? 1 2 3! (Rachel pushes so hard her head snaps up head-butting Ross and knocking him down.)
Ross: (laughs) Muriel. Wh-why would he call you Muriel? (Ross realizes something.) Oh my God! Chandler M Bing? Its not just an M, your middle name is Muriel!!
ROSS: Hi honey, how did it go?
ROSS: [beeper goes off] Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to get to the museum. So um, I'll see you tonight.
[Scene: Carol's Room, she is ready to give birth. Everyone is there except for Phoebe, Ross, and Susan, who are in the broom closet.]
ROSS: [pulls Rachel aside] I just, I wanted to thank you for our uh, our little talk before.
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! So, I walk in the door and make the right (and he bends his arm to the left. Ross then bends Joey's arm to the right and Joey nods)
Ross: You never cooked since 1996. (Actually Rachel cooked in �609 - TOW Ross Got High�, first aired 1999-11-25.)
Ross: I have to say you are a much bigger person than I am. I mean after all weve been through, I justyknow I wish I had a brother to reciprocate. Hey, if you ever want to go out with Monica, you have my blessing.
Ross: Phoebe, you were sure Ben was gonna be a girl.
Ross: Actually, it kinda is. My wife won't return my calls. I don't know where my wife is. (Laughs) "Hey Ross, where's the Mrs.?" Don't know!
Ross: Well, now I do!!
Ross: My marriage, I think my marriage is um, is kinda over.
ROSS: Oh look, I can't believe this. Look, homo-habilus hasn't even learned how to use tools yet and they've got him here wi, with clay pots. Why don't, why don't they just give him a microwave? I'm sorry, I'm sorry this is taking so long, ya know, I, I, it's just it's longer than I expected, we will have dinner.
Ross: Well, oh, Im sorry your car broke down Pheebs, but Im a little too busy with some of my real friends right now, but please call to let me know you got home safely okay?
Ross: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Ross: Thanks.
Ross: Look, I'm sorry, I thought it looked pretty.
Ross: Wait, wait, wait.
Ross: Cmon! Joey! What is it?
Ross: Thanks. (kisses her on the lips)
Ross: Hi.
Ross: My wifes a lesbian.
Ross: No-o-o! (Rachel gives him a Please? look.) No way!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are there as Rachel enters and sees Joey sitting there.]
Ross: My-my ring? My-my wedding ring? The-the stripper stole my wedding ring?! H-how?! How could this all happen?!
ROSS: Can't we just use a pen?
Ross: We?
Ross: (to Joey) Where there is no fear of commitment.
Ross: Fine.
Ross: What?
Ross: Hi Gunther.
Ross: Come on! Thats great.
ROSS: I don't, I don't understand. I mean, you, it's like we can't win with you guys.
Ross: Oh, but I've got tickets to the Van Gogh exhibit! I've been waiting like a year for this.
Joey: Oh, hey, Chandler, we, ah, we stopped by the coffee shop and ran into Ross.
Ross: How do you know? I mean we thought Carol was straight before I married her!
Phoebe: Y'know I had a dream where Ross and Rachel were still together, they never broke up. And we were all just like hanging out, and everyone was happy....
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is reading a script as Ross enters]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its later that morning, everybody has gotten up and Ross and Phoebe has joined them for breakfast. Rachel is returning from shopping.]
Ross: The gas is odorless, but they add the smell so you know when there's a leak.
Rachel: You remember Ross.
Ross: Isabella Rosselini. (points to her)
Ross: Ugh, museum.
Joey: Everything is upside down here! It rains all day long, nobody watches tv and Ross is famous!
ROSS: Yeah, can't help but.
Ross: So?
ROSS: Bye Marcel. See ya on the big screen. You keep people drinkin' that beer, OK. I miss you buddy.
Ross: Thanks again, Dr. Green.
Ross: I know.
Rachel: Ross, you know what? (looks over to the door and sees security staring at them) Okay, let's talk about it later, there comes security. (Takes her box and leaves. Ross follows her and then returns for the chair. He stands for a moment, then pushes it quickly in the general direction Rachel went into, and out of the camera's view, and then nonchalantly walks away)
Ross: Nothing I do means anything, really.
Ross: Hey Pheebs, what are you doing?
Ross: Okay enough! This is, this is not going to happen.
Ross: Well, I don't know, it's-it's kinda in a place that's not... It's not visually accessible to me, and I was hoping maybe you guys could-could help me out. (starts to take off his pants)
Dr. Green: Baby. Ross.
Ross: Look, would you guys grow up? That is the most natural beautiful thing in the world.
Ross: Look, look Im sorry. Its just that....
Ross: Uh.
Ross: May I come in?
Ross: I know that!
Ross: And his first name.
Ross: Thank you! Thats what I keep saying.
Ross: Argue with that.
Monica: If you would stop thinking about Ross for one minute you would notice that there are great guys everywhere! I mean, look! Look, Gunther! (Gunther turns to listen in.) I mean, he's nice, he's cute.
Ross: Excellent!
(Both he and Ross start laughing)
Ross: oh yea now um how is that going, is it getting serious?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Rachel are there as Phoebe and Monica enter.]
Phoebe: Ooh! Oh! (She starts to pluck at the air just in front of Ross.)
Ross: Neither will I. (they both put back the brownies.)
ROSS: Hi, Mrs. Green. [He gets up to shake her hand, but she ignores him.]
Ross: Why? Why cant you go to him?
ROSS: Well we just wanted to stop by and uh, say goodnight.
Rachel: Ross, it took you ten years to finally admit you liked me.
Ross: Yeah.
(They kiss. Ross walks away, and then fades out.)
Ross: Huh... huh... what a loser! Some more wine? (takes the half-full glasses and goes to the counter)
Ross: Hmm?
Joey: Hey-hey, Ross?
Ross: Well Mr. Big Shot is better than wethead.
Monica: (takes the phone from Ross) Come on. (Answering phone) Hello? (Listens) Im sorry you have the wrong number. (Listens) (Whispering) Okay, Ill call you later dad. I love you. (Hangs up.)
ROSS: Oh, you know, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna hang out, work on my music.
Chandler: David, let me stop you there 'cause I think I see where this is going. I'm not very good at giving advice. So if you want advice, go to Ross, Monica, or... Joey, if the thing you wanna advice about is pizza toppings or burning sensation when you pee.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is sitting at the kitchen counter and Ross enters from Rachel and Emma's room.]
Ross: Uh, don't you think that would be a little weird? I mean, two guys in a romantic inn...