words in movies
(She takes her hand off Erica. Ross enters the room)
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Hey Erica, welcome back to town! (pause) Wow, look how big you've gotten.
Ross: Right, no, I understand.
Ross: No, no, I knew (he stares at her breasts).
Monica (to Ross): Okay, well, stop staring at them.
Ross: She brought them up! (pause) I didn't realize you were coming back so soon!
Ross: Hotel? Why isn't she staying with you guys?
Ross: Erica, those things aren't free. In fact they have one of the highest mark-ups of any consumer product...
Monica: Ross! She's giving us her baby. She can eat you if she wants.
Ross: Oh man, I can't believe you guys are leaving this place.
Ross: No, no. This will always be your place. It would be too sad. Plus, how much a month does it cost to feed Joey?
Ross: Hey, is Chandler here? We talked about catching a movie.
Ross: Mhm, (he balance things) packing - sexy cheerleader comedy.
(Ross takes the tape roll she's handing him and walks to the guest room while mocking Monica's voice)
[Scene: Guest room. Joey has his head wrapped in bubbled wrap and Chandler is punching him. Ross enters the room.]
Ross: What are you guys doing?
Joey: Try it, I can't feel a thing! (Ross starts punching him too)
Monica: All right, Rachel's party is in a couple of hours and there's a lot to do. Now, Ross, you got Geller blood, you're in charge of these yahoos!
Ross: You got it! (Monica leaves, Ross closes the door). All right, she's right, we gotta get serious. (He grabs a bag of styrofoam peanuts) Let's put styrofoam peanuts down his pants and kick him!
Chandler: No, no, no, guys. She's right. We should get to work. I'll take stuff out of the closet, Joey you pack 'em and Ross you re-pack whatever Joey packs.
Ross: Chandler, you don't have a sister so you can't understand how much this bums me out.
Ross: Bumming hard, guys, bumming hard.
[Scene: Monica's apartment. Phoebe and Ross enter the room.]
Ross: Yeah? Yeah, where is it?
Ross: Rock on!
Ross: Hey, where's Rach?
Ross: Great.
Ross: Here she is!
Ross: Oh, man! I can't believe she's actually leaving. How am I gonna say goodbye to Rachel?
Chandler: I know, she's been such a big part of my life. And it feels like when Melrose Place got cancelled. (Ross and Joey looks puzzled) I mean... oh, forget it. I miss Melrose Place!
Joey (to Ross): You know, I had a chance to stop her too!
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Hey, what do you think they're doing in there?
Ross: (to Phoebe) Hey. What was that all about?
Ross: Are you kidding? Oh my God...
Phoebe: Yeah, I know, it's gonna be even worse for you... God... Ross, get ready to do some serious crying.
Ross: Oh, man, I'm not going to be able to handle this. (pause) Now I know how my students feel at the end of each year. And why they act out by giving me such bad evaluations.
Ross: (to Joey) Oh no, she took down Monica... And I'm the crier in the family. Oh God! I could be next. Maybe she won't talk with me if it looks like we're deep in converstation. Oh, so that thing you said about the thing. It really made me think about that other thing.
Ross: Well it's okay. Chandler is talking to her.
Monica: (to Ross) So, I guess you're next. You're ready?
Ross: I don't think so.
Ross: God! I can't believe she saved me for last. (looking out to the balcony) Why are they taking so long?
Ross: Okay, here we go...
Ross: Yeah...
Rachel: I think I'm gonna take off. (pats Ross on his back, but he looks very surprised)
Ross: Huh?
(She leaves the apartment and they all stare at Ross)
Ross: What? I don't get a goodbye?
[Scene: Monica's apartment continued... Phoebe, Chandler, Monica and Joey are sitting down and Ross is pacing up and down.]
Ross: Unbelievable. She says goodbye to everyone but me.
Ross: Well, it needs to be plicit.
Ross: No, I don't think so.
Ross: (annoyed) O-kay... I mean, don't I deserve anything? I mean, a few tears, a cursory hug? (Joey gives Ross a hug) NOT FROM YOU! (Joey lets go)
Phoebe: Ross, if you're this upset, you should go and talk to her.
Ross: THE HELL I DO!
(Ross takes big steps leaving for Joey and Rachel's apartment, where Rachel is going through her papers.)
Ross: I don't get a goodbye?
Ross: (talking agitated and angry) Everyone gets a goodbye but me? What have I got to do to get a goodbye, huh? Be best friends with you? Uh, go out with you? Have a baby with you? Oh wait a minute, wait a minute, I did all those things.
Rachel: Ross...
Ross: Oh no, maybe it's me, I'm just not giving you enough credit. Uh, I mean it is difficult to say goodbye to five people. Uh, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, good... (makes choking noises) IT'S PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE. You know what? After all we've been through, I can't believe this is how you want to leave things between us. Have a, have a good time in Paris. (He leaves the apartment. Rachel looks kind of desperate.)
Monica: I hope Ross isn't too upset.
Ross: That's what it seemed like.
Ross: Fine, then why didn't you say something?
Rachel: Because it is too damn hard Ross. I can't even begin to explain to you how much I'm gonna miss you. When I think about not seeing you every day, it makes me not want to go... Okay, so if you think that I didn't say goodbye to you because you don't mean as much to me as everybody else, you're wrong. It's because you mean more to me. So there, all right, there's your goodbye... Oh!
Ross: Rach!
Ross: You keep, you keep... You can't...
(Ross walks over to her and starts to kiss her passionately. After a while Rachel backs out. She thinks a while and starts kissing him back.)
Joey: Let it go, Ross.
ROSS: Yeah.
[Scene: Outside Monas Apartment, Ross is knocking on the door.]
Rachel: Yeah. So don't move, okay? Just stay here and... (nods towards Ross) maybe close your blinds at night.
ROSS: You were in a porno?
RACHEL: Is Ross here?
Ross: Wow, I havent seen her for like forever. I wonder if she still carries that Barbie everywhere she goes.
ROSS: Hey, save us some pizza. [they go off to Rachel's room]
Ross: Im sorry about your date.
ROSS: You got a tattoo?
ROSS: Wha, OK, I'm sorry, let's uh, why don't we find someplace else.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are at the counter as Ross enters.]
ROSS: Ok fine.
ROSS: Get out.
ROSS: We're not done.
Monica: Anyway, Ross and I were always captains, and um, it got kindve competitive and one year, Geller Bowl VI, I accidentally broke Rosss nose.
[Susan approaches Ross, who's looking lonely]
Ross: Im so proud of you.
Ross: (patting his clothes like he is looking for his wallet) No, no hes not.
RACHEL: Yeah well, Ross just made plans for the whole century.
ROSS: Now that's a little spoiled. He was supposed to type "little", the idiot.
Rachel: Oh, look at the little cat! [a small kitten is on the roof behind Ross] Look at it!
Ross: Yeah, well it came to about $112, but what the hell, just call it an even 110?
ROSS: Get the what?
ROSS: Well, ya know, they're a little behind the times in Colonial Williamsburg.
ROSS: [comes out] All yours.
Ross: So they ah, they all took off, it was pretty hard watching them go, y'know?
ROSS: C'mon, just tell me, please, please.
ROSS: [childish voice] Shut up.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Ross enter in sweats carrying rackets.]
Ross: No problem. I cannot wait for you to meet my friends.
ROSS: Good, 'cause I love you.
Phoebe: Yeah and yeah, and it would probably be better than the last telephone job I had. Yknow, I probably wouldnt have to say spank as much. (Monica and Ross are shocked.)
Ross: Thanks. (Joey hugs him) OK.
Ross: (to the crowd in the laundromat) All right, show's over. Nothing to see here. (to Rachel) Ok, let's do laundry.
Ross: What, so this guy is helping you for no apparent reason?
ROSS: Yeah.
Mark: Ive kinda of had this ah, this crush on you. (Rachel is shocked) But since you were with Ross, I-I didnt do anything about it. But, now that youre not, Id really like to ask you out sometime. So-so thats-thats what Im doing, now.
ROSS: Well that's the first time we've said that.
ROSS: OK.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is talking to a man at the counter. Ross and Phoebe are sitting at the couches.]
Ross: (to Joey) It's ok, because they have to get it out of their system, okay (back to Mon and Chan), but you're going to realize, this is the only place, you wanna be.
Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
Rachel: Oh yeah, really? Is it Ross? Yeah? Okay, well let me make this a just a little bit easier for you.
(They start to walk into the living room and notice someones head sticking up from behind a chair. The camera cuts to the other side and we see its Ross.)
ROSS: Well, I'm gonna kiss you.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is siting on the couch as Ross and Chandler enter after playing basketball.]
Mr. Geller: (To Ross) Do you remember the Ludwins? The big one had a thing for you, didn't she?
ROSS: I know.
Joey: (entering with Ross) Hey! You guys! Check it out, check it out! (Hes wearing a blue blazer) Guess which job I got.
Rachel: Yeah! I'm going to Paris. Thank you, Ross!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, there is a knock on the door and Ross opens it to Cassie.]
Ross: Cheater, cheater, compulsive eater.
Ross: Hey...! Rachel and I hired a male nanny.
[Scene: Outside the beach house, Ross is telling Joey and Chandler what happened with Rachel.]
ROSS: Well, Monica keeps changin' the channel.
(Ross comes out of character to glare into the distance.)
ROSS: Really?
ROSS: And that wasn't fun for you?
ROSS: I can do that.
ROSS: What?
ROSS: So you wanna watch uh, Entertainment Tonight?
(She looks at Ross, a bit ashamed. Chandler mimes "big breasts" to Ross and lip syncs "Wow". Ross looks at him, astonished and then Monica looks at Chandler again. A little too late he changes the "big breasts" mime into "rocking a baby". When he realizes Monica might have seen it he also strokes his imaginary baby's head.)
ROSS: What woman?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is working on her holiday song, Chandler is sitting on the couch reading a magazine, and Ross is sleeping on the couch.]
Ross: Hmmm. Oh, no, no, I just thinking about something funny I heard today. Umm, Mark, Mark saying Ill see you Saturday.
[Ross enters]
Rachel: Hello? (Listens) Um, yeah, uh, (snapping her fingers at Ross who takes the remote from Marcel, then turns off the TV) Okay ah, hold on a second, lemme lemme just check and see if see if she's here.
ROSS: No, that, that was, I mean, as opposed to uh, the uh, ok. Is this over yet Rach?
ROSS: No. You're just gonna have to accept the fact that you're just friends now, OK, you're not... rommmates anymore.
Ross: See but, Pheebs that-that is the exact opposite intent of my music. Yknow my music is-is meant to inspire, and if it bothers you this much, then I I wont play anymore.
Ross: Look, dont worry. Okay? Youre gonna be fine.
(He walks over behind Ross, thinks about it for a moment, and gives him a big hug.)
JOEY: But uh, uh, what about uh, Ross and uh. . .?
ROSS: Yeah. Ya know, a boy and a girl. Hopefully the girl will come first so Ben here won't feel too competitive.
(We see Ross through the window and he acts like a swimmer that gets attacked by a shark, picture one of the many, many, many Jaws movies they made and you get the idea.)
Ross: Yknow, its interesting! Most people think thats made with seawater, when in fact
ROSS: Well, we should probably get going.
Ross: We got a head, we got shoulders, we got arms, we got, oh, look at the little fingers, oh, and a chest, and a stomach. It's a boy, definitely a boy! All right! Ok, legs, knees, and feet. Oh, oh. He's here. He's a person.
Joey: Ross good, I'm uh glad you're here. I wanna talk to you about something.
Ross: Its called the Bapstein-King comet, okay? (Joey starts to groan.) Hey! Hey! Bapstein was a very well respected astronomer!
Ross: Hey guys, does anybody know a good date place in the neighborhood?
[Scene: Outside Ugly Naked Guy's apartment, Ross is knocks on the door and Ugly Naked Guy answers it. He's ugly. He's naked. And he's holding a huge jumbo soda.]
Ross: Alright, I'm gonna go find them... (twitches a bit, looks down) I just need a... need a before I can... you know. (gestures standing up... they sit and wait for a while) Grandma... grandma... grandma... (he tries to concentrate...) Okay, I see you later.
Ross: Oh thank you. Thanks very much. (Leans up against the board and on a thumbtack.) Ow! (He pulls away.)
ROSS: Really?
Ross: Yes, yes it is. Its uh (Aunt Millie uses this opportunity to grab Ross and kiss him on the lips. After she leaves Ross quickly wipes his mouth with a napkin.) Every time on the lips! Why?! Why on lips?!
Ross: Wh-haa-haa! Look what cha did! (Rachel has her hand over her mouth to keep from laughing.)
Ross: Yeah but still, I mean it shouldve been me. Im the dad.
Ross: (entering, angrily) Joey!
Joey: That's OK, Ross, you can ask me. What?
Ross: Oh, I thought it was just a kid yelling, "Im gay! Im gay!" Can I bring her in?
ROSS: Knock-knock.
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
Ross: Hey. How did, uh, how'd it go today?
Ross: That's funny, that, no, because, uh, our parents actually did, uh, send our dog off to live on a farm.
ROSS: G'night.
ROSS: Oh. And what do you call that?
Ross: well then I didn't need to bother you or the four other Mike Hanagens I bothered.
Ross: Getting it away from me would be job one.