words in movies
(She takes her hand off Erica. Ross enters the room)
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Hey Erica, welcome back to town! (pause) Wow, look how big you've gotten.
Ross: Right, no, I understand.
Ross: No, no, I knew (he stares at her breasts).
Monica (to Ross): Okay, well, stop staring at them.
Ross: She brought them up! (pause) I didn't realize you were coming back so soon!
Ross: Hotel? Why isn't she staying with you guys?
Ross: Erica, those things aren't free. In fact they have one of the highest mark-ups of any consumer product...
Monica: Ross! She's giving us her baby. She can eat you if she wants.
Ross: Oh man, I can't believe you guys are leaving this place.
Ross: No, no. This will always be your place. It would be too sad. Plus, how much a month does it cost to feed Joey?
Ross: Hey, is Chandler here? We talked about catching a movie.
Ross: Mhm, (he balance things) packing - sexy cheerleader comedy.
(Ross takes the tape roll she's handing him and walks to the guest room while mocking Monica's voice)
[Scene: Guest room. Joey has his head wrapped in bubbled wrap and Chandler is punching him. Ross enters the room.]
Ross: What are you guys doing?
Joey: Try it, I can't feel a thing! (Ross starts punching him too)
Monica: All right, Rachel's party is in a couple of hours and there's a lot to do. Now, Ross, you got Geller blood, you're in charge of these yahoos!
Ross: You got it! (Monica leaves, Ross closes the door). All right, she's right, we gotta get serious. (He grabs a bag of styrofoam peanuts) Let's put styrofoam peanuts down his pants and kick him!
Chandler: No, no, no, guys. She's right. We should get to work. I'll take stuff out of the closet, Joey you pack 'em and Ross you re-pack whatever Joey packs.
Ross: Chandler, you don't have a sister so you can't understand how much this bums me out.
Ross: Bumming hard, guys, bumming hard.
[Scene: Monica's apartment. Phoebe and Ross enter the room.]
Ross: Yeah? Yeah, where is it?
Ross: Rock on!
Ross: Hey, where's Rach?
Ross: Great.
Ross: Here she is!
Ross: Oh, man! I can't believe she's actually leaving. How am I gonna say goodbye to Rachel?
Chandler: I know, she's been such a big part of my life. And it feels like when Melrose Place got cancelled. (Ross and Joey looks puzzled) I mean... oh, forget it. I miss Melrose Place!
Joey (to Ross): You know, I had a chance to stop her too!
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Hey, what do you think they're doing in there?
Ross: (to Phoebe) Hey. What was that all about?
Ross: Are you kidding? Oh my God...
Phoebe: Yeah, I know, it's gonna be even worse for you... God... Ross, get ready to do some serious crying.
Ross: Oh, man, I'm not going to be able to handle this. (pause) Now I know how my students feel at the end of each year. And why they act out by giving me such bad evaluations.
Ross: (to Joey) Oh no, she took down Monica... And I'm the crier in the family. Oh God! I could be next. Maybe she won't talk with me if it looks like we're deep in converstation. Oh, so that thing you said about the thing. It really made me think about that other thing.
Ross: Well it's okay. Chandler is talking to her.
Monica: (to Ross) So, I guess you're next. You're ready?
Ross: I don't think so.
Ross: God! I can't believe she saved me for last. (looking out to the balcony) Why are they taking so long?
Ross: Okay, here we go...
Ross: Yeah...
Rachel: I think I'm gonna take off. (pats Ross on his back, but he looks very surprised)
Ross: Huh?
(She leaves the apartment and they all stare at Ross)
Ross: What? I don't get a goodbye?
[Scene: Monica's apartment continued... Phoebe, Chandler, Monica and Joey are sitting down and Ross is pacing up and down.]
Ross: Unbelievable. She says goodbye to everyone but me.
Ross: Well, it needs to be plicit.
Ross: No, I don't think so.
Ross: (annoyed) O-kay... I mean, don't I deserve anything? I mean, a few tears, a cursory hug? (Joey gives Ross a hug) NOT FROM YOU! (Joey lets go)
Phoebe: Ross, if you're this upset, you should go and talk to her.
Ross: THE HELL I DO!
(Ross takes big steps leaving for Joey and Rachel's apartment, where Rachel is going through her papers.)
Ross: I don't get a goodbye?
Ross: (talking agitated and angry) Everyone gets a goodbye but me? What have I got to do to get a goodbye, huh? Be best friends with you? Uh, go out with you? Have a baby with you? Oh wait a minute, wait a minute, I did all those things.
Rachel: Ross...
Ross: Oh no, maybe it's me, I'm just not giving you enough credit. Uh, I mean it is difficult to say goodbye to five people. Uh, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, good... (makes choking noises) IT'S PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE. You know what? After all we've been through, I can't believe this is how you want to leave things between us. Have a, have a good time in Paris. (He leaves the apartment. Rachel looks kind of desperate.)
Monica: I hope Ross isn't too upset.
Ross: That's what it seemed like.
Ross: Fine, then why didn't you say something?
Rachel: Because it is too damn hard Ross. I can't even begin to explain to you how much I'm gonna miss you. When I think about not seeing you every day, it makes me not want to go... Okay, so if you think that I didn't say goodbye to you because you don't mean as much to me as everybody else, you're wrong. It's because you mean more to me. So there, all right, there's your goodbye... Oh!
Ross: Rach!
Ross: You keep, you keep... You can't...
(Ross walks over to her and starts to kiss her passionately. After a while Rachel backs out. She thinks a while and starts kissing him back.)
Ross: Uh, they don't like it when you correct their grammar.
Ross: The girl on the cover with her nipples showing?
Ross: OH MY GOD!! I didnt really believe it until you just said it!!
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Monica's there and Ross and Chandler walk in.]
Ross: Look, you can't do this Mon. All right, if you do this, I'm, I'm gonna, I'm, I'm gonna.....
Rachel: Okay Ross come on lets just forget about the condoms.
Ross: Wow, you ah, you really like all this space stuff, huh?
Ross: Hey Pheebs, you gonna have the rest of that Pop-Tart?.. Pheebs?
Ross: No, Mike, no, no. You wanna pick me, I mean... watch! (he mimics the groommens way of walking down the aisle with a bridesmaid) Huh?
Ross: Really? (Joey gives him a Like I would know look)
Ross: Well actually, Im picking Ben up tomorrow, maybe hell be there.
Monica: Look Ross, the only question you need to ask is, "Do you see a future?" I mean like do you see yourself marrying her? (Ross pauses in consideration.) Oh my God! You did it already! You married her, didnt you?!
Ross: You got me a cola drink?
Man with a bow tie: Jarvis Oberblau, Cornell. (sighs) I mean, the ideas you put forth and, and from someone... so... young... and... (sighs again and smiles at Ross blissfully).
RACHEL: God, Ross, look, what you and I have is special, all Paolo and I ever had was...
Julie: Yes. Oh my god, are you kidding? Ross is so crazy about you, and I really wanted you to like me, and, it's probably me being totally paranoid, but I kinda got the feeling that maybe you don't.
Ross: What the hell are you doing? You scared the crap outta me.
Phoebe: (running out) Wait! Wait! Hi! Listen, Ross can I just talk to you for just a second?
Ross: Yeah, just a little in high school, but then I really got into it in college. I mean thats-thats when I really found my sound.
(Rachel, Ross and Ross go to the bathroom)
Rachel: Okay. Honey, I would love for you to go with me. (Ross has a worried look on his face) What?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Monica, Chandler, Rachel, and Ross are playing Monopoly as Phoebe enters angrily.]
ROSS: So were you in Nam?
Ross: (handing him his coat) Here!
Rachel: Ross do you realise this is the first time in my life Im doing something I actually care about. This is the first time in my life Im doing something that Im actually good at. I mean. if you dont get that...
Rachel: (not seeing Ross) Whats your favourite thing about summertime?
ROSS: Monica, Monica, your guest are turning into jerky, OK.
ROSS: When, when were you... under me? Rach. Rachel do you, I mean, were you, uh. . . What?
Ross: And, I love you!! (He walks into the living room)
Phoebe: Okay, you can totally say no, but umm, would it be okay with you if I set Ross up on a date?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Ross, and Monica are still playing catch, with Chandler looking on. Joey throws the ball to Monica who catches it and whips it at Ross.]
Ross: Whoah, uh, what happened to, uh, 'Forget relationships! I'm done with men!' The whole, uh, penis embargo?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Mike is reading from a book.]
Ross: Thats okay, Im not so crazy about myself right now either.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Ross and Monica are still going on about the house.]
Ross: That was in high school! Its not like it was binding forever.
Ross: And in about five seconds youre gonna see why.
Ross: No, thats, no, as long as youre okay. So Ill ah, Ill see you tomorrow.
Ross: Y'know, hey! Youre the one who ended it, remember?
Ross: (to Elizabeth) And that is why we cannot see each other anymore.
Ross: Diverse.
Rachel: Well, it's a little low... pick up a little... (Ross picks it up) a little bit more... (he picks it up again) a little bit more... (he takes it off) There you go! (pause) Now throw it away!
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang's all there. Ross has a slip of paper that he throws on the ground tying to get Rachel's attention.]
Ross: Uh-huh. But it was a first for the rest of my building.
Ross: Look, I'm sure it would be great, but I-I think one of us has to be thinking clearly, so, I'm gonna go!
Susan: (not taking her eyes off Carol) Hello Ross. (Takes off her coat and hands it to him.) I love what youve done with this space.
Ross: I think its coming from your bag.
Charlie: Oh my God, I completely forgot! (they laugh) Oh my God! I can't believe they let us back in this place! (they laugh more, and Ross start laughing too).
ROSS: Great, how did it go?
Joey: Yknow, Monica and Chandler are married. Ross and Rachel are having a baby. Maybe you and I should do something.
Jill: (To Ross) And you! I throw myself at you and you say no, how gay are you?
Mrs. Green: (entering from bathroom) Hi Ross!
Ross: Thanks.
Ross: No I don't, to hell with her, she left me!
Ross: Sorry.
Joey: Oh that's mine too! (Grabs it and Ross looks at him.) I'm Italian!
Ross: Oh. Oh. Thank God, most women dont even feel them.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and Ross are there.]
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Okay, okay, well just get everyone to act like they like it. That-that way noone makes fun of her and we still get to go to Sweet Potatoe Pie! (Referring to the dancers.)
Ross: Well, I know the other day in the coffeehouse you were caught up in the whole soccer mom thing? but is that really you? I mean can you honestly picture yourself in a Volvo?
Phoebe: No! (Rosss phone rings.)
Ross: Im not going to do that. (Rachel glares at him.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around the kitchen table as Ross enters.]
(Ross gestures his consent.)
Ross: So its looks like were the first ones here.
Ross: We think Chandler might be having an affair.
Ross: Paul the Wine Guy, Paul?
Rachel: Yeah, maybe if youre in love. But Ross, we are not in love, are we?
Ross: Okay? (goes into the living room)
Ross: He finally asked you out?
Ross: A wandering?
Joey: Yes, but in Drake Remorays body. (Ross laughs unbelievably.) Why is this so hard for you to get? I thought you were a scientist!
Ross: So Rachel, what're you, uh... what're you up to tonight?
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross has picked up a vacuum and is holding it at the door.]
Ross: Okay, sure.
Ross: What?! Are you insane? This woman stole from you. She stole. She's a stealer.
[Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Rachel enter. Ross and Julie don't notice.]
Ross: You guys.
Ross: I cant believe this! I shouldnt be the one making her throw up!
Ross: You know what the scariest part is? What if there's only one woman for everybody, y'know? I mean what if you get one woman- and that's it? Unfortunately in my case, there was only one woman- for her...
Ross: I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny.
Ross: I'm divorced! I'm only 26 and I'm divorced!
Ross: I bet two dollars. (throws it in)
RACHEL: This is Joey, and Phoebe, and this is Chandler, and you remember Ross.
Ross: Yeah, which she probably stole from some cheerleader.
Ross: We are a rare breed.
Ross: I... just feel that the... the chemistry isn't right. I'm sorry. We're... we're more than happy to give you good recommendation...
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Chandler, and Ross are seated. Rachel is walking over with coffee and a piece of pie.]
Ross: (on tape) I mean I I know I wanted to. I just, I just wasnt sure if you wanted to.
Ross: Joe Im not kidding
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross and Rachel are returning from a movie.]
Ross: You got a job?
Monica: Well Ross, you be careful now. You dont want to get a reputation as yknow Professor McNailshisstudents.
Gavin: Right. Right. Ross. So what's the deal with you guys? I don't want to get in the middle of anything
Ross: C'mon, cut. Cut, cut, cut,...
Ross: Yeah.
Joey: (entering) Hey Ross! Listen, do you want to go see that new Imax movie on tide pools?
(they shake hands the way friends would. There's a muffin on the table, and Ross breaks off a piece and wants to put it in his mouth.)
Joey: Nice. Oh hey, what about Ross?