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[A montage of scenes from The One Where Ross and Rachel Take A Break follows.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is eating the picnic as Rachel comes home from work.]
Ross: I mean, I dont feel like I even have a girlfriend anymore.
Ross: Is this about Mark?
Ross: Okay, its not, its not.
Rachel: Oh my God. I cannot keep having this same fight with you Ross! Look, urrgh, maybe we should take a break.
Ross: Fine, youre right. Lets ah, lets take a break, (goes to the door) lets cool off, okay, lets get some frozen yoghurt, or something.. (opens the door)
(Ross looks at her, then leaves slamming the door behind him.)
Ross: (on the phone) Ive been thinking, this is crazy, I mean dont, dont you think we can work on this?
Ross: Whos that?
Ross: Is that Mark?
Ross: Yeah! Got it! (slams down the phone)
[Cut to Chloe and Ross dancing, and their kiss.]
Rachel: Yeah, but its okay, because when Ross left Mark came over.
[Scene: Rosss Bedroom, Ross is waking up. He straightens himself out on the bed and puts the covers over his head.]
(Ross sits bolt upright, without moving the covers.)
[Scene: Rosss Kitchen, Ross is taking some aspirin and checking his messages.]
Rachel: (on answering machine) Hi, its me. Ive been trying to reach you all night. I feel awful. Please, Ross, you gotta know there is nothing between me and Mark. This whole break-up thing is just stupid.
Ross: Yeah!!
Ross: Na-huh.
Ross: I love you.
Ross: Okay. (Ross starts frantically looking for a clock.)
(Ross finds a clock, sees its almost 8:30, and silently screams.)
Ross: Chloe, Chloe hows it coming?!!
Ross: Umm, oh, hey, I dont know. How about a big one?
Ross: Well then a small one!! Listen, lets, we kinda have to get going!
Ross: You, you sure you need shoes? (Chloe nods her head) Okay. (reaches down and picks up a shoe)
Ross: Yeah, y'know the ah, the girlfriend I told you about last night? (Hes frantically throwing the cushions off of the couch looking for her other shoe) Well it turns out she ah, she wants to get back together with me. Oh, I found it!!
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Yes, yes I am, one of the many things Im feeling. Well.... (picks up her coat)
Ross: Oh, thank you. (She goes to kiss him, but he holds her coat up between their faces to stop her.) Hey, hey. (opens the door, sees Rachel, and hides Chloe behind the door) Rachel!!!!
Ross: Yeah, oh hey, you are right on time.
Ross: Yes, you can, very much.
(Chloe gives Ross the thumbs up while still standing behind the door.)
Ross: (seeing the thumbs up) Ahhhh!! (Hugs Rachel tighter.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross has told Chandler and Joey his terrible act.]
Ross: You think?! God, I, ah, Im in hell. I mean what, what am I gonna do? Rachels all like, I love you and, and lets work on this. And all I can think about is, What is she gonna do? What is she gonna say? when I tell her what I did.
Ross: What?! Look, were trying to rebuild a relationship here, right. How am I supposed to do that here, without being totally honest with each other?
Joey: Look, Ross look, Im on board about this totally honesty thing, I am, just not about stuff thats gonna get you in trouble.
Ross: Yeah, but dont you think....
Ross: Yeah, okay. (he plops down into one of the leather chairs, with the footrest extended.)
Joey: All right, okay, now, we just have to make sure she doesnt find out some other way. (spins the chair around so that Ross is facing him) Did you think about the trail?
Ross: What trail?
Joey: (stomps on the footrest which pops Ross up into a sitting position) The trail from the woman you did it with to the woman you hope never finds out who did it! (slapping his hands with each word) You always have to think about the trail!
Ross: Oh, I-I dont think theres any trail.
[Scene: The Xerox Place, Ross is trying to break the trail.]
Ross: (entering) Chloe? Hi..
Ross: You took my watch?
Ross: Just you keep it, listen did you, did you tell anyone about us?
Ross: Exactly. So you didnt, didnt mention anything to Issac right?
Ross: You tell, of course you do. Issac. Issac. Hey, Issac. Issac, hi! Y'know we havent actually met...
Ross: Yes, I suppose I am a dog. But Issac, see I-I happen to have a girlfriend.
Ross: Yeah, thats the one. Listen, I dont want to hurt her.
Ross: Yeah. Listen, can you keep this information to yourself?
Ross: Actually, no, were not.
Ross: No, were not.
Ross: No, were not!!
Ross: Right.
Ross: Fine. I just need to know that youre not gonna tell your sister.
[Scene: Phoebes Work, Ross is now trying to stop Jasmine from telling Phoebe.]
Ross: (entering out of breath) Jasmine?
Ross: We met at Phoebes birthday party, Im, Im Ross Geller.
Ross: Yes, I did.
Ross: Very bad.
Ross: Im agreeing with you. Did you, listen, did you happen to tell Phoebe yet?
Ross: Okay, Jasmine, please, please dont. I love my girlfriend very much, and I want more than anything to just work it out with her. Okay?
Ross: Thank you, thank you.
Ross: (angrily) Whos your roommate?
[Scene: Central Perk, Gunther is wiping down the counter as Ross rushes in.]
Ross: Gunther! Gunther. Gunther, please tell me you didnt say anything to Rachel about me and the girl from the Xerox place.
(Ross turns around and sees Rachel sitting by the window. She is just glaring at him.)
[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is trying to close the door on Ross.]
Ross: (forcing the door open) Come on, Rachel, come on! Talk to me! Please!!
Ross: Rachel?
Ross: No, it was a mistake! I made a mistake! Okay?
Rachel: Ross, you had sex with another woman!
Ross: No!!
Ross: No!! No!! I wanna stay. I wanna talk about this.
Ross: What?
Rachel: Come on Ross! You said you wanted to talk about it, lets talk about it!! How was she?
Ross: She was...
Ross: She, she was different.
Ross: Nobody likes change.
Ross: What? Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Ross: Im sorry, okay, Im sorry. I wa-I was disgusted with myself, and this morning I was so, I was so upset and then I got your message and I was so happy, and all I wanted was to get her out of my apartment as fast as possible.
Rachel: Whoa!! Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. What time did your little friend leave? (Ross cant answer that) Oh my God. She was there? She was still there? She was in there, when I was in there?!
(Ross hands Rachel back the newspaper, and she starts beating him with it again.)
Ross: Listen. Oh hey, hey, the important thing was that she meant, she meant nothing to me!
Ross: Look, I didnt think there was a relationship to jeopardise. I thought we were broken up.
Ross: That, for all I knew would, could last forever. That to me is a break-up.
Ross: Look, Im not trying to get out of anything, okay. I thought our relationship was dead!
Ross: Come on! Like I wanted him to tell you, I ran all over the place trying to make sure that didnt happen!
Ross: Look Rachel, I wanted to tell you, I thought I should, I-I did, and then Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.
Ross: Dont you realise none of this wouldve ever happened if I didnt think at that same moment you werent having sex with Mark?
Ross: (pause) Yes I would.
Ross: (less sure) Yes.
Ross: (covering his ears and screaming) La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! Okay, okay, yeah, I would have been devastated but, I would still want to be with you. Because its, I mean its you.
[Later, Ross and Rachel are sitting in the kitchen.]
Ross: What? Come on Rach, tell me what youre thinking?
Ross: Order a pizza like, I forgive you?
Ross: Hey, can I, can I get in on that? Because Im kinda hungry myself.
Ross: No anchovies.
Ross: Thats okay, Ill just pick em off.
Ross: You can have the last piece, if you want.
Chandler: Yeah, come on, its Ross and Rachel, theyve got too.
[Later, in the living room, Rachel is sitting on the couch, Ross is on the chair.]
Ross: What, now youre not even taking to me? (moves over to the coffee table) Look Rachel, I-Im sorry, okay, Im sorry, I was out of my mind. I thought Id lost you, I didnt know what to do. Come on! Come on, how insane must I have been to do something like this? Huh? I-I dont cheat right, I, thats not me, Im not Joey!
Ross: Y'know what, y'know what, Im-Im not the one that wanted that, that break, okay. Youre the one that bailed on us. Youre the one that, that ran when things got just a little rough!
Ross: Thats what?!
Ross: Okay, well here we are. Now were in a tough spot again, Rach. What do you want to do? How do you want to handle it? Huh? Do you wanna fight for us? Or, do you wanna bail? (sits down next to her) Look, I, (on the verge of tears) I did a terrible, stupid, stupid thing. Okay? And Im sorry, I wish I could take it back, but I cant. (We see Monica and Phoebe are almost in tears.) I just cant see us throwing away something we know is so damn good. Rachel, I love you so much.
Rachel: No Ross!! (stands up and moves away from him) Dont! You cant just kiss me and think youre gonna make it all go away, okay? It doesnt work that way. It doesnt just make it better. Okay?
Ross: Okay, okay, okay.
Ross: What?
Ross: (moving over to stand in front of her) Okay, okay. This morning you said there was nothing so big that we couldnt work past it together...
Ross: Look, look, theres got to be a way we can work past this. Okay, (takes a hold of one of her arms.) I cant imagine, I cant imagine my life without you. (Both of them are starting to cry.) Without, without these arms, and your face, and this heart. Your good heart Rach, (drops to his knees and hugs her around her waist) and, and....
Rachel: (crying) No. I cant, youre a totally different person to me now. I used to think of you as somebody that would never, ever hurt me, ever. God, and now I just cant stop picturing with her, I cant, (Ross stands up and backs away) it doesnt matter what you say, or what you do, Ross. Its just changed, everything. Forever.
Ross: (crying) Yeah, but this cant be it, I mean.
[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is sleeping on the couch, Ross is gone, the rest of them can finally emerge from their cell. They all wave good bye, and start to walk quietly out, as Monica goes and puts a blanket on Rachel. Joey starts walking all hunched over and bobbing his shoulders as he goes.]
Chandler: Oh, Ross, when you make out card; be sure to make it out to, EM-I-LY.
Ross: So uh, have a great time down there.
Ross: Really?
Carol: Youre a genius, Ross.
Ross: We were drunk! I wouldve married uh, Joey with that amount of alcohol!
Ross: Call me!
Ross: Okay. Cool.
Phoebe: Oh, well get in line missy. (To Ross) So, can I have a ride stud?
Ross: Okay. He was more embarrassed about that than anyone. Okay? And for him to have the courage to walk back in here like nothing happened...
Ross: Well I-I-I dont care how hot it is its-its uh, its wrong.
Joey: How come you have two? Chandler: Well this one's for you. Joey: Get out. Chandler: No, I can't. No-no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, (Puts bracelet on Joey) it's about you and me and the fact that we're (Reading bracelet) best buds. Joey: Wow, is this friendship? I think so. Check it out, we're bracelet buddies. Chandler: That's what they'll call us. [The next one is from Episode 618: The One Where Ross Dates A Student.]
Ross: I mean, uhm... you know when I was growing up he was kind of a tough guy... You know a-a-and as a kid I wasn't the athlete I am now.
Ross: I knew it! I knew it! I always knew she liked him! Y'know, shed say no, but here we are! Right? We just broke up, first thing she does!
Ross: Hey Erica, welcome back to town! (pause) Wow, look how big you've gotten.
Phoebe: I still cannot believe youre engaged! (Ross looks at her) Just cause its happening so fast; not cause youre such a loser.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Ross is playing with Emma on the couch after just changing her diaper.]
Ross: Excuse me?
Ross: I got it at Pottery Barn!! Okay?!
Ross: (calls Julie back) Hi? Sorry, we got disconnected... (Walks away.)
Ross: Totally!
Ross: Great!
Ross: Wow!
Ross: Its your turn.
Ross: Hey, yknow what? Not all spring breaks are like that.
Ross: (Yells) Damnit! (Goes to the door to leave. Rachel just enters, sees him and starts laughing)
Ross: (stops laughing) What am I doing?
Ross: Oh, I love that guy! (Laughs.)
(Joey and Ross exchange looks.)
Ross: Oh my God!
Ross: Yeah, um, I don't know if you noticed, but he had a lot to drink, and you know how he gets when he's drun..uh... (He has caught sight of Joey scowling at him) I can't do this, I did it, it was me, I'm sorry, I kissed your mom.
Ross: You ate my sandwich?
Ross: You-you-you-you (trying to remain in control) threw my sandwich away!
Ross: (getting upset) Oh-oh really?
Ross: Ni-chou chi-ma! (walks onto jetway)
Ross: (entering) Okay Pheebs, I know how we're going to figure this out. Okay, clear your mind and answer the first thing that comes into your head. Okay?
Ross: I know when Im 90 shell be like 80 and it wont seem like such a big difference.
Joey: Uh-uh, excuse me, I do have to interrupt on Rosss behalf. I-I think the rule applies here yknow, since she has a chance to get on broad back
[Cut to Ross and Emily standing by the foosball table.]
Rachel: Oh no, I really dont want any(He takes the picture)Oh! Thank you. Oh. Oh Ross
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is answering the door in his robe.] CHAN: No, no, no, no, no, no [opens door to Monica] No. Monica, it's Sunday morning. I'm not running on a Sunday. MNCA: Why not? CHAN: Because it's Sunday. It's God's day. MNCA: OK, if you say stop, then we stop. CHAN: OK, stop. MNCA: No, c'mon, we can't stop, c'mon, we've got three more pounds to go. I am the energy train and you are on board. Woo-woo, woo-woo, woo-woo [Chandler walks out of the apartment, leaving Monica] Woo. [Scene: Rachel and Monica's apartment. Rachel is taking asprin. Ross enters.] ROSS: Hey Rach. RACH: Ahhhh. ROSS: Oh. And how was the date? RACH: Umm, I think there was a restaurant... I know there was wine. . . [Rachel looks at Ross as though she remembers something, but can't place what it is.]
Ross: Oh yeah, we're uh, yeah we're not together. (He starts backing out of the store.)
Ross: All right, did you just say all right?
Ross: What?
Ross: What?
[Scene: A Street, Chandler and Ross are at a newsstand.]
Ross: I fell asleep!
Ross: Aw forget it, its from Pier One. (Theres an angry knock on the door.) Sorry. (Goes and opens the door to an irate Dr. Green.)
ROSS: So don't, I don't see why we have to go to this thing anyway, it's your ex-fiancee's wedding.
Ross: Thanks Aunt Pheebs. Hey, you didn't microwave that, did you, because it's breast milk, and you're not supposed to do that.
Ross: No! I made it seem like I was just calling to chat. Pretty sure, they both think Im interested in them.
[Scene: Ross's bedroom, Ross is working and Rachel is reading a book in bed]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Ross are inspecting the damage to the dollhouse.]
(She does Ross's little gesture. In response Ross puts his hands behind his neck with his arms sticking straight out and starts flapping them together.)
Ross: Hi! (Rushes over to shake her hand instantly.)
Ross: Okay, come on! All right, I gotta go! So good luck at the party. Okay?
Ross: Thank you! And I have to say that first scene when you meet Mac
Ross: Oh my God. I mean
Ross: Thatll be a neat trick, when youre, (looks at the script) when youre dead!
Ross: Totally.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's hotel room, Rachel is still trying to get the ink off and Ross is on the phone to the company. Wait a minute, why exactly are they sharing a hotel room? Didn't they like break-up or something? Did I miss a memo? Or maybe, it's just foreshadowing things to come. Who knows? Maybe the answer's at the bottom of the page. Then again, maybe it isn't and it's just one of those things TV writers just don't explain. Anyhoo ]
Phoebe: (To Ross) Hes holding us back.
Ross: So uh, Emily called last night
Ross: Uh yeah! Let me, let me get that for you.
Ross: Sure, I-I-I... (hugs her and mouths No!!)
RACHEL: Well, um . . . I don't know.� I mean, for a long time nothing.� But you know, actually right before you picked me up, Ross and I had a . . . ah . . . little thing.
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Chandler: Yes, but in Rosss case, they both know in two weeks thats it.
Ross: Thanks!
Ross: Her date tipped me ten dollars. (Monica laughs)
Ross: (entering) Hi! Sorry Im late. Were you sleeping?
Paul: So Ross, what your problem?
Ross: What?
Ross: This isyou(Ross starts laughing.)
Ross: Eh-whExcuse me?
Chandler: Ross!
Monica: Ross!!
Ross: And the Irish guy wins the joke!
Ross: (noticing the outfit he is wearing) Whatd you do, take him whaling?
(Ross spots Chandler and starts chasing him around the kitchen table. Chandler runs and hides behind Monica.)
Ross: Thats funny. Umm . (Pause, then serious) Its not funny.
Rachel: No! No I, no Ross is not a geek!
Ross: Damn! I cant believe I took her off my list.
Monica: You know, they're not actually supposed to have... (Ross looks at her sheepishly) I'll work on the lumps. Joey, you're going home, right?
Rachel: Oh! Ross is sooo great!
Rachel: Oh, really, really? Well, it wasn't very good for me either. (She turns to leave and Ross over takes her and stands infront on her, his back to the row of doors leading to the hospital rooms)
Phoebe: (turning from Ross.) No!! Hey-hey that's not a Nutter-Butter, that's just an old Wonton!
Ross: Ah.
Ross: Joey?!
Paul: Hi Ross.
Rachel: Ross, Joey is not here.
Rachel: Ross, its okay. You can come out.
Ross: You were at the coffeehouse!
Ross: That was different!
Ross: This is weird for me!
Ross: How is that important?
Ross: I got held up at Dr. Gettleman's office. There was some guy that freaked everybody out.
Rachel: Hey Ross! Any word on the apartment yet?
Ross: Oh, yeah I know, I know, it's a lot of boxes, but again I really appreciate you guys letting me stay here.
Ross: Yeah, take your time.
Ross: So, uh, Rachel, what are you, uh, what're you doing tonight?