words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Chandler, and Phoebe are there. Joey is working.]
Ross: Hey, remember when I had a monkey?
Ross: Yeah, what, what was I thinking?
Ross: Whats up with the greed Joe?
Ross: Well isnt there something you can do to earn a little extra money? I mean, cant-cant you pick up, I dont know, an extra shift here?
Ross: Oh, wait! Wait! Dont you have an audition today? Yeah! Maybe youll get that job!
Joey: No-no! I used to get paid for all kinds of medical stuff, remember? Lets see uh, well I dont want to donate sperm again. (To Ross) I really prefer doing that at the home office yknow? (Ross nods his head.) Ooh-ooh, maybe they want like some of my blood or-or spit or something, huh?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is there as Phoebe and Rachel enter wearing workout clothes.]
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Hey, what have you guys been up to?
Ross: Wow!
Ross: After one class? I dont think so.
Ross: Well, of course you can defend yourself from an attack you know is coming, thats not enough. Look, I studying kara-tay for a long time, and theres a concept you should really be familiar with. Its what the Japanese call (he holds two fingers up to his temple, and he does this every time he says this word) unagi.
Ross: No, its a concept!
Ross: All right, maybe it means that too
Ross: Yknow what? Fine! Get attacked! I dont even care!
Phoebe: (deadpan) Come on Ross. Were sorry. Please tell us what it is.
Ross: Unagi is a state of total awareness. Okay? Only by achieving true unagi can you be prepared for any danger that may befall you!
(Rachel laughs and Ross mocks her.)
Ross: (moves closer) All Im saying is, its one thing being prepared for an attack against like each other; whole another story being prepared for an attack, I dont know, like a (turns and puts his face close to Rachels and screams) surprise!!
Ross: All right, you know that one was coming, but that doesnt mean you have unagi. (Does the finger thing.)
Ross: Yknow what (Moves away as Chandler enters, panicked.)
Ross: No.
Chandler: Well appealing as that does sound to her boyfriend (pause) and her brother, (the camera pans to Ross flashing Joey a very evil look; Joey gets scared) I cant do that we promised wed make each other gifts this year.
Ross: So what are you gonna do?
[Scene: The Hallway between the Apartments, Ross is hiding behind that bump out on Monicas side waiting for Phoebe and Rachel. As they come up the stairs, he jumps out and yells ]
Ross: DANGER!!! DANGER!!!!!
Phoebe: Ross!!!
Ross: A lesson in the importance of unagi. (He starts doing the finger thing every time now.)
Ross: Perhaps. Now Im curious, at what point during those girlish screams would you have begun to kick my ass?
Ross: Im sorry I had to take such drastic measures to make my point, but Ilook, I just want you guys to be safe. (Monica comes out to throw out the garbage and Ross screams ) DANGER!!!!! (She completely ignores him and keeps walking.) Ahhh, huh? Unagi.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is coming in from doing his laundry. He starts folding it as Chandler enters.]
Ross: (not turning around) Chandler. I sensed it was you.
Ross: Unagi. Im always aware.
Ross: Whats up?
Ross: Oh, why dont you make her one of your little jokes.
Ross: Yknow what? Shed-shed love this. (Picks up a model of the Saturn V rocket, thats the one that took man to the moon.) Uh, its an exact replica of Apollo 8. I made it in the sixth grade.
Ross: Yeah-yeah, except Apollo 8 didnt actually land on the moon. But you-you-you could write that umm, your love lets me orbit the moon twice and return safely. (Apollo 8 was the first one that orbited the moon and the one that read the Christmas Story from the orbit of the moon on Christmas Eve, 1968. They also took the famous Earthrise picture of the Earth rising over the moon.)
Ross: Why not?
Chandler: Because it says "Captain Ross" on the side and "I hate Monica" on the bottom.
Ross: Oh.
(Ross screams like a little girl.)
(They start to walk into the living room and notice someones head sticking up from behind a chair. The camera cuts to the other side and we see its Ross.)
[Time lapse. The girls have Ross pinned face down. Phoebe is sitting on his back and arms while holding his head down and facing Rachel. Rachel is sitting on his knees and holding his lower legs vertically, causing Ross pain.]
Ross: Its not something you are! Its something you have!
Ross: Yknow what? I can easily get out of this, but there is a chance you can get very, very hurt!
(The women all clap and start to leave as Ross comes up to the instructor. Apparently he was hiding in the back.)
Ross: Its a great class.
Ross: Yeah, yeah, I was watching. (The instructor just nods and walks away.) Umm, hey, a couple of questions though. Umm, about that-that-that last move where the woman tripped you and then pinned you to the floor, what-what-what-what would you do next?
Ross: No. No-no. No. What would you do next?
Ross: Yes thats right.
Ross: I tired attacking two women, did not work.
Ross: No, I mean its okay, I mean, theyre-theyre my friends. In fact, I-I-I was married to one of them.
Ross: Oh, no! No-no! No, I tired! But I couldnt. Thats why Im here. Maybe we could attack them together? (He glares at him.) That-thats a no.
[Scene: The street in front of Central Perk, Ross is walking up and sees two women that look like Phoebe and Rachel from behind.]
Ross: Ah-ha, nowhere to run! (He starts to run towards them.)
(Ross appears at the window behind them crouched behind a garbage can and ready to spring his attack on who he thinks are Phoebe and Rachel. The camera cuts to the exterior view and Phoebe and Rachel call the shots from inside.)
Phoebe: Why is Ross doing that?
Ross: DANGER!!!!
(Ross starts to scream and run away. He stops in front of the window of Central Perk to check the pursuit and notices Phoebe and Rachel inside looking at him. He mouths, "What?" Then realizes that the women he attacked are closing in so he screams and runs away.)
Mrs. Green: (entering from bathroom) Hi Ross!
Ross: Thanks.
Ross: No I don't, to hell with her, she left me!
Ross: Sorry.
Joey: Oh that's mine too! (Grabs it and Ross looks at him.) I'm Italian!
Ross: Oh. Oh. Thank God, most women dont even feel them.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and Ross are there.]
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Okay, okay, well just get everyone to act like they like it. That-that way noone makes fun of her and we still get to go to Sweet Potatoe Pie! (Referring to the dancers.)
Ross: Well, I know the other day in the coffeehouse you were caught up in the whole soccer mom thing? but is that really you? I mean can you honestly picture yourself in a Volvo?
Phoebe: No! (Rosss phone rings.)
Ross: Im not going to do that. (Rachel glares at him.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around the kitchen table as Ross enters.]
(Ross gestures his consent.)
Ross: So its looks like were the first ones here.
Ross: We think Chandler might be having an affair.
Ross: Paul the Wine Guy, Paul?
Rachel: Yeah, maybe if youre in love. But Ross, we are not in love, are we?
Ross: Okay? (goes into the living room)
Ross: He finally asked you out?
Ross: A wandering?
Joey: Yes, but in Drake Remorays body. (Ross laughs unbelievably.) Why is this so hard for you to get? I thought you were a scientist!
Ross: So Rachel, what're you, uh... what're you up to tonight?
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross has picked up a vacuum and is holding it at the door.]
Ross: Okay, sure.
Ross: What?! Are you insane? This woman stole from you. She stole. She's a stealer.
[Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Rachel enter. Ross and Julie don't notice.]
Ross: You guys.
Ross: I cant believe this! I shouldnt be the one making her throw up!
Ross: You know what the scariest part is? What if there's only one woman for everybody, y'know? I mean what if you get one woman- and that's it? Unfortunately in my case, there was only one woman- for her...
Ross: I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny.
Ross: I'm divorced! I'm only 26 and I'm divorced!
Ross: I bet two dollars. (throws it in)
RACHEL: This is Joey, and Phoebe, and this is Chandler, and you remember Ross.
Ross: Yeah, which she probably stole from some cheerleader.
Ross: We are a rare breed.
Ross: I... just feel that the... the chemistry isn't right. I'm sorry. We're... we're more than happy to give you good recommendation...
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Chandler, and Ross are seated. Rachel is walking over with coffee and a piece of pie.]
Ross: (on tape) I mean I I know I wanted to. I just, I just wasnt sure if you wanted to.
Ross: Joe Im not kidding
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross and Rachel are returning from a movie.]
Ross: You got a job?
Monica: Well Ross, you be careful now. You dont want to get a reputation as yknow Professor McNailshisstudents.
Gavin: Right. Right. Ross. So what's the deal with you guys? I don't want to get in the middle of anything
Ross: C'mon, cut. Cut, cut, cut,...
Ross: Yeah.
Joey: (entering) Hey Ross! Listen, do you want to go see that new Imax movie on tide pools?
(they shake hands the way friends would. There's a muffin on the table, and Ross breaks off a piece and wants to put it in his mouth.)
Joey: Nice. Oh hey, what about Ross?
Ross: Split it?
Ross: Goodnight.
Ross: Okay... okay, maybe I will...
Ross: Not since my cop-show got cancelled.
Ross: No, this is pretty much it.
Ross: There's an image.
Ross: Does she.
Mrs. Geller: (to Ross on the stairs) I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
Ross:Hi.
Ross: I just grabbed a spoon. (Ross exits and Monica has no idea what that means.)
Ross: Pregnant?!
Ross: Okay, you wanna play rough, we can play rough.
Ross: Forget it. I-IYknow what? Ill just have the conversation. Ill just say I like things the way they are, and hope for the best. What do you think Rach?
Phoebe (to Joey): Well, our plan is working. Rachel is having a miserable time, and Ross is just stood up somewhere at a restaurant all alone.
Ross: Well, I mean if uh, if Emily gave me a choice
Rachel: Ok... (and passes the spider to Ross who holds it in between his hands)
Ross: Dude, you didnt say Die Hard. Is everything okay?
Ross: Okay, so on our no-date evening, three of you now have dates.
Ross: (standing outside the door).....Hi.
Ross: Aw, Mom...
[The Gellers glare at Ross.]
Ross: (pause) I am a doctor! Yknow what? Im just gonna go and talk to Rachel myself.
Ross: I- I think they're great! I, I really do.
Ross: Huh? Oh, I got this(Holds up this pink frilly thing)this!
Ross: Yeah. (They go to the kitchen.)
Ross: (grabbing the wheel) What-what are you doing?! Are youOkay thats not funny! Just stop horsing around!
Rachel: That is so sad. Your missing out on so much, Ross. I mean, the bonding and the sharing, you know. And-and knowing that someone else is going through the same thing you are.
Ross: I like it. I do, I think it's a Ten. (Chandler laughs.)
Ross: Mm.
Ross: Got me.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Yeah. Yeah, oh you loved that thing. You always had it with you. You never went anywhere without-without that coloring book.
Ross: Yes, yes!
Ross: Mm-hmm..
Ross: (To Joey) I cant believe you told her I was going to propose!
Susan: Ross.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, is the one where Rachel screwed up the desert and Ross and Joey are trying to enjoy it.]
Ross: How could I forget?
Ross: Well, uh, uh, I don't know, okay, okay, how about with the, uh, with the baby's name?
Ross: Wasn't this supposed to be just a fling, huh? Shouldn't it be...(makes flinging motions with hands) flung by now?
Ross: Thank you!
Ross: Look, all I know is I-I cant have another failed marriage!
Ross: Celia, don't worry! Don't scream! He's not going to hurt you! Soothing tones, Celia. Soothing tones! Marcel...
Ross: Now, if you wanna try to make some of it back, Id be glad to play you for it. But I should warn you, I am very good at Cups.
Ross: No no no, she gets a credit, hey, I'm in there too.
[Scene: Grammercy Bistero, Ross and Kristen are waiting for their table to be ready. Ross is returning from talking to the matired.]
Ross: Oh my God.
Ross: Well? Isn't that amazing?
[the bullies grab the back of the couch that Ross and Chandler are sitting in and tip back]
Ross: Then don't do that, alright?
Ross: (walks over to where Monica is standing)Monica. Whaddya think?