words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is getting ready for a date with Monica as Ross enters.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Wow! You look nice. What's the occasion?
Ross: Wow! How'd you get in there?
(He closes the door and turns to see Ross glaring at him.)
Ross: What the hell was that?!
Ross: The flirting! Aren't you supposed to be going out with, I don't know hmm, let's say my sister?!
Ross: It was totally flirting. "Somebody got a haircut (Makes some whiney, nasally noises.)"
Ross: Yeah, right.
Chandler: You wanna see flirting? I'll show you flirting. (Starts to move towards Ross.)
Ross: (backing away) I'm good.
(Ross and Chandler enter with the pizzas.)
Ross: And on your anniversary, for shame!
Ross: Chandler was hitting on the hot delivery girl!
Ross: Well I'm sorry but you were! Okay? And besides if anyone should be hitting on her it's the guy who's single, the guy that who-who-who can do something about it.
Ross: Well
(Ross looks at Rachel.)
Rachel: Ross! We broke up two years ago; you've been married since then. I think it's okay that we see other people.
Ross: Well, I-I was watching her the other day at the pizza place.
Ross: And she's just so sexy and funny and has the cutest little
Phoebe: (looking through the pizzas) Okay pepperoni, pepperoni, pepperoni, okay Ross, I know she's pretty and you love her, but is she stupid?! She forgot my vegetarian!
Ross: This is perfect! She'll have to come back here with your pizza, and when she does, I'll turn on the Charm-O-Ross. Oh I'm so glad you don't eat meat.
Ross: I'll get it! I will get that! (Runs over and opens the door.)
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Oh. Uh, by the way, if it makes you feel any better. I happen to like 8-year-old boys.
Ross: (I can't make it out.) The uh, your hair, before, your hair, you said you thought your looks like an 8-year-old's, and I'm just saying I like it. The hair.
Ross: You understand I don't actually like 8-year-old boys.
Caitlin: I'm gonna try. (Walks away and Ross closes the door.)
Ross: You couldn't let me have her, could ya?!
Ross: This is a girl that I really like and had too swoop in there!
Ross: Chandler was totally flirting with the hot delivery girl!
Ross: Really?!
Chandler: Yes, it does bother me! And I think it would bother a lot of people. Rachel, when you were going out with Ross, did it bother you when he flirted with other women?
Ross: And thank you, for that.
Rachel: But y'know, I never really had anything to worry about. Ross was never very good at the flirting thing.
Ross: What? (Mumbles) What-what, what are talking about? It-it worked with you.
Ross: All right, all right. You-you-you know what I'm going to do? I am going to order another pizza and when Caitlin gets here, you-you--I will show how well I flirt. Yeah! I will, I will get her phone number! (To Chandler) And not the one on the menu!
Ross: (smiling) Are you sure?
(Rachel heads for Joey and Chandler's and Phoebe heads for the kitchen to find Ross.)
Ross: (To Phoebe) Hey Pheebs! How's that uh, vegetarian pizza working out for ya? You and those vegetables have a real thing going on, huh?
Ross: Do you like it?
Ross: Okay, I'm working on my flirting.
Joey: (To Ross in the kitchen) All right, it's another commercial; I still haven't told her!
Ross: Joey! This is like the last commercial. You've got like (checks his watch) ten minutes left!
Ross: (running to the door) Oh, mine! Mine! Mine! (to everyone) Okay, here goes. Prepare yourselves for some Class A flirting.
Rachel: Honey, you have nothing to prove. And if you really like this girl, I don't flirting is the right thing to (Ross interrupts and shushes her.)
Ross: You'll see. Okay. (Readies himself.) Oh, what's-what's her name?
Ross: (He opens the door while faking a laugh.) Hey! Oh, we-we can't keep eating like this. (Monica turns her head in shame.)
Ross: Okay, (gets the money) so, do you make the pizzas in one of those uh, wood-burning ovens?
Ross: Gas? Wow! Intense.
Ross: (to Caitlin) Hey uh, y'know that smell gas has?
Ross: They put that in.
Ross: The gas is odorless, but they add the smell so you know when there's a leak.
Ross: A lot of other gas smells
Ross: Meth-methane smells
Ross: Oh but I-I-I haven't paid you yet!
(Ross closes the door slowly.)
Ross: (To All) Was I talking to her about gas?
Ross: Look, no-no, hey, hey, don't worry about it! In nine years, she and I will be right there. (Goes and sits on the couch dejectedly.)
Phoebe: (walking over to Ross) Ross?
Ross: Yeah?
Rachel: No. No. Every thing's--they're fine. Great pizza. But it's uh, actually umm my friend Ross. He uh, just gets really nervous when he's flirting.
Rachel: (entering) Hey Ross? Umm, I just ran into Caitlin in the hallway and-and uh, you must be getting better at this flirting stuff than I thought.
Ross: What do you mean?
Ross: And she just gave you this?
Ross: Rach, thanks but uh, I don't need you doing me any favors.
Ross: Well that I can believe.
Ross: (To Phoebe) And she's supposed to buy this?!
(He turns to get his coat and Monica gives Rachel and Phoebe two thumbs up as Chandler walks over to Ross.)
Chandler: (To Ross) Thanks for picking out the earrings man.
Ross: Hm-mmm.
Ross: No, it's good, it is good, it's just that- mm- doesn't she seem a little angry?
Ross: Well, see? So, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea, y'know, me kissing your mom, uh? Huh? (Wags his finger at Chandler, then puts it down) But.. we don't have to go down that road.
Ross: Oh, yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah...
Ross: (on phone) Hi, is Rachel there?
Ross: Now, how will they know if youre ready?
Ross: Look Chandler, Monica is really weird about this kind stuff all right. Believe me, I lived with her for 16 years. She is going to freak out. Oh my God, she's going to sit on you.
[Cut to Elizabeth Hornswoggle's bathroom, Ross frantically pulls his shirt out and drops his pants. He exhales in sheer ecstasy as the coolness of the bathroom envelops his legs. He sits on the cast iron bathtub, again gasping in pleasure. He next grabs a magazine and starts to blow air on his exposed legs, but that doesn't work the way he wants it to. So he throws the magazine down, looks around for another idea, and finds one. He jumps up and hops to the sink. He turns on the water and starts to splash some on his legs, cooling them further.]
Ross: You ah, wanted to see me?
Ross: You bug me.
[Joey walks back inside just as Rosss dance is finishing.]
Ross: Yeah. (Gets up, but then pauses when he realizes what that meant.)
Ross: Shes going in. Wait! Hes going in! Hes going in!! The doors closed! I, I cant see anything but the door closed!!
Ross: Okay, I have to do something. I mean, I have, I have to stop it!
Ross: Real magic does exist.
Ross: Hey, its been like three weeks!
Ross: Yeah, okay.
Ross: I was thinking more like a hundred.
Ross: Yeah well if, if, if Mark said that, than Mark's an idiot.
Ross: So I finally heard back from Aunt Sheryl and apparently it wasnt a mistake. Ahh, theres-theres limited seating in the hall.
Ross: Pity food? Y'know what thats okay, all right, I dont need any of you to stay, okay nobody stays.
Ross: Dude, don't worry 'bout it! I know how we can make your money back! This is a nice hotel, you know, plenty of amenities, we just load up on those! Like those apples. Instead of taking one, I'm... I take six!
Ross: All right, I gotta take off. I'm picking up Ben then we're off to the big audition.
Ross: Oh-ho please. Ask her how?
ROSS: How 'bout from now on we just call it the 'unfortunate incident'? [Rachel walks off] Hey Gunther, you got stairs in your place?
ROSS: (seeing her also) Yeah, 'cause life's just that kind.
(A beautiful woman walks by Ross, he stares at her.)
Paul: Well, this is fun. So Ross, did you kill any of these wives?
Ross: Ok. Well, before I say anything, I just need to know, is this one of those things where you break up with a guy, and then I tell you what I think, and then the next day you get back together with the guy, and I look like a complete idiot?
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: Yes. Yes, yes I did. (To Mona) But-but it was, it was just a one night thing. It meant nothing.
Ross: You get the dollhouse.
Joey: (to Ross) Why cant I find that?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is at the counter drinking coffee as Elizabeth enters with her dad, Paul. Elizabeth goes to kiss Ross, but he just kisses her on the forehead. By the way Paul is played by Bruce Willis. Yes, that Bruce Willis from Moonlighting, Die Hard, and Armageddon.]
Ross: (looks like in heaven) Lighter than air... (changes back to serious) But that's not the point. (Joey now also enters)
[Scene: Central Perk. Charlie is sitting on the couch and Ross enters.]
Ross: Sure, whats up?
[Scene: The Hospital, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there, along with Aunt Lillian. Ross and Monica enter and everyone says hi and kisses.)
Mr Zelner: Yeah, his name is Ross. (Ross looks very surprised) What?
Ross: Look, if she's talking to it, I just think that I should get some belly time too. Not that I believe any of this.
Ross: Hey, whats this?!
Ross: Yeah, I'm gonna stay and read my book. I just wanna be alone right now.
Ross: I would!
[Scene: The park, its dark outside and Monica and Ross are still fighting over the ball.]
Ross and Rachel: Uh-huh.
Ross: (voiceover) So when she came in, I got distracted and totally forgot about the camera. [Cut back to the present day.] It kept rolling and recorded everything.
Ross: You want me to take some girl Ive never met to the opera so you can go to a club and flirt with some guy, hmm, that-that is a toughie.
Ross: You know you probably didn't know this, but back in high school, I had a, um, major crush on you.
ROSS: No, you, ya know there's no need to make it u. . . how?
Ross and Rachel: Ahhhh!!
Joey: (to Ross) Hey.
Ross: Hi.
Rachel: Oh Ross youre so tense! You just gotta relax okay? Just need to relax all right? Just need to relax (She takes her hands off of the wheel.)
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Now that is funny. Hey, do you think...would it be too weird if I invited Carol over to join us? 'Cause she's, she's alone now, and pregnant, and, and sad.
Phoebe: Oh, the Angelica!! Go! Go! (She bangs on the cabs roof and it pulls away.) (To Ross) You didnt get the annulment?!!
Ross: Mon?
Ross: Joey, get out of the fridge.
(Ross lets them both sit in his chair.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Joey are lamenting about how they kicked Ross out.]
Ross: Oh, fire! There, theres a fire! Fire!!
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: No Phoebe, dont look! You dont want to see whats under there!!
Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey: Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!
(Ross retrieves his jacket and sees that not only has Emily arrived, but she as seen Rachel take her place on the plane.)
Ross: (to the girl sitting next to him) Hi there. How many, how many ah, did you sell?
Rachel: Oh really? Well how would you like it if I had sex with you and I taped it? (Joey smiles luridly) Oh forget it! (Ross enters.) Oh there he is now, the father of my child, the porn king of the west village.
Ross: Hmm -you know, actually this'll work out well. Cause when you have to move back in with Joey, Joey's hot new roommate can come and live with me.
Joey: Yeah! Allright! Hey, hey Ross. Check it out! Sandy taught me Hot-cross Buns.
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: Thanks. You ready to go?
Ross: Anyone want me to appraise anything?
Ross: Um.... no. See, I might've had feelings for her at one timenot any more. I justI...
(Joey congratulates Ross, sees Chandler's look and abruptly stops.)
Ross: Why don't we just put 'poor little Tooty' out in the hall?
Ross: I-I heard about Mrs. Verhoeven passing away and Im so sorry for your loss.
[They get back to back and start rubbing against each other. Ross and Rachel enter.]
ROSS: Look, do you love her? And you don't have to be too emphatic about this.
Rachel: And you know Monica and Ross!
Ross: I want to take my tongue... and...
[Ross and Julie enter.]
Ross: Right.
Ross: (to Monica) You like it right?
Ross: But we do! (pause) It's gonna be ok, Rach!
Ross: No, four minutes ago you had a half hour, we have to be out the door at twenty to eight.
Phoebe: Dont be so corny Ross, its not an after-school special. (She rides off and the camera pans down to reveal two shiny, silver training wheels firmly attached.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Ross, Chandler, and Joey are entering.]
Ross: Okay when you're playing a machine and it hasn't paid out, a lurker waits for you to give up and then
Ross: Hey, say something to Emma on her 18th birthday!
Ross: Oh my God, is that still...
Ross: No youre not.
Ross: Rach!
(People start getting up. Ross grabs Carols doll to hold it upside down like a football, slapping it with his other hand.)
Ross: Rachel...
Ross: Fine. Ill go.
Ross: Rach...
ROSS: Oh my God. But the zoo told me that my monkey was dead.
Ross: All right.
Monica: Ross! She's giving us her baby. She can eat you if she wants.
Ross: Sorry.
Monica: Hey dad, what's up? (Listens) Oh God. Ross, it's Nana.