words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is getting ready for a date with Monica as Ross enters.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Wow! You look nice. What's the occasion?
Ross: Wow! How'd you get in there?
(He closes the door and turns to see Ross glaring at him.)
Ross: What the hell was that?!
Ross: The flirting! Aren't you supposed to be going out with, I don't know hmm, let's say my sister?!
Ross: It was totally flirting. "Somebody got a haircut (Makes some whiney, nasally noises.)"
Ross: Yeah, right.
Chandler: You wanna see flirting? I'll show you flirting. (Starts to move towards Ross.)
Ross: (backing away) I'm good.
(Ross and Chandler enter with the pizzas.)
Ross: And on your anniversary, for shame!
Ross: Chandler was hitting on the hot delivery girl!
Ross: Well I'm sorry but you were! Okay? And besides if anyone should be hitting on her it's the guy who's single, the guy that who-who-who can do something about it.
Ross: Well
(Ross looks at Rachel.)
Rachel: Ross! We broke up two years ago; you've been married since then. I think it's okay that we see other people.
Ross: Well, I-I was watching her the other day at the pizza place.
Ross: And she's just so sexy and funny and has the cutest little
Phoebe: (looking through the pizzas) Okay pepperoni, pepperoni, pepperoni, okay Ross, I know she's pretty and you love her, but is she stupid?! She forgot my vegetarian!
Ross: This is perfect! She'll have to come back here with your pizza, and when she does, I'll turn on the Charm-O-Ross. Oh I'm so glad you don't eat meat.
Ross: I'll get it! I will get that! (Runs over and opens the door.)
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Oh. Uh, by the way, if it makes you feel any better. I happen to like 8-year-old boys.
Ross: (I can't make it out.) The uh, your hair, before, your hair, you said you thought your looks like an 8-year-old's, and I'm just saying I like it. The hair.
Ross: You understand I don't actually like 8-year-old boys.
Caitlin: I'm gonna try. (Walks away and Ross closes the door.)
Ross: You couldn't let me have her, could ya?!
Ross: This is a girl that I really like and had too swoop in there!
Ross: Chandler was totally flirting with the hot delivery girl!
Ross: Really?!
Chandler: Yes, it does bother me! And I think it would bother a lot of people. Rachel, when you were going out with Ross, did it bother you when he flirted with other women?
Ross: And thank you, for that.
Rachel: But y'know, I never really had anything to worry about. Ross was never very good at the flirting thing.
Ross: What? (Mumbles) What-what, what are talking about? It-it worked with you.
Ross: All right, all right. You-you-you know what I'm going to do? I am going to order another pizza and when Caitlin gets here, you-you--I will show how well I flirt. Yeah! I will, I will get her phone number! (To Chandler) And not the one on the menu!
Ross: (smiling) Are you sure?
(Rachel heads for Joey and Chandler's and Phoebe heads for the kitchen to find Ross.)
Ross: (To Phoebe) Hey Pheebs! How's that uh, vegetarian pizza working out for ya? You and those vegetables have a real thing going on, huh?
Ross: Do you like it?
Ross: Okay, I'm working on my flirting.
Joey: (To Ross in the kitchen) All right, it's another commercial; I still haven't told her!
Ross: Joey! This is like the last commercial. You've got like (checks his watch) ten minutes left!
Ross: (running to the door) Oh, mine! Mine! Mine! (to everyone) Okay, here goes. Prepare yourselves for some Class A flirting.
Rachel: Honey, you have nothing to prove. And if you really like this girl, I don't flirting is the right thing to (Ross interrupts and shushes her.)
Ross: You'll see. Okay. (Readies himself.) Oh, what's-what's her name?
Ross: (He opens the door while faking a laugh.) Hey! Oh, we-we can't keep eating like this. (Monica turns her head in shame.)
Ross: Okay, (gets the money) so, do you make the pizzas in one of those uh, wood-burning ovens?
Ross: Gas? Wow! Intense.
Ross: (to Caitlin) Hey uh, y'know that smell gas has?
Ross: They put that in.
Ross: The gas is odorless, but they add the smell so you know when there's a leak.
Ross: A lot of other gas smells
Ross: Meth-methane smells
Ross: Oh but I-I-I haven't paid you yet!
(Ross closes the door slowly.)
Ross: (To All) Was I talking to her about gas?
Ross: Look, no-no, hey, hey, don't worry about it! In nine years, she and I will be right there. (Goes and sits on the couch dejectedly.)
Phoebe: (walking over to Ross) Ross?
Ross: Yeah?
Rachel: No. No. Every thing's--they're fine. Great pizza. But it's uh, actually umm my friend Ross. He uh, just gets really nervous when he's flirting.
Rachel: (entering) Hey Ross? Umm, I just ran into Caitlin in the hallway and-and uh, you must be getting better at this flirting stuff than I thought.
Ross: What do you mean?
Ross: And she just gave you this?
Ross: Rach, thanks but uh, I don't need you doing me any favors.
Ross: Well that I can believe.
Ross: (To Phoebe) And she's supposed to buy this?!
(He turns to get his coat and Monica gives Rachel and Phoebe two thumbs up as Chandler walks over to Ross.)
Chandler: (To Ross) Thanks for picking out the earrings man.
Ross: Hm-mmm.
Mrs. Green: (entering from bathroom) Hi Ross!
Ross: Thanks.
Ross: No I don't, to hell with her, she left me!
Ross: Sorry.
Joey: Oh that's mine too! (Grabs it and Ross looks at him.) I'm Italian!
Ross: Oh. Oh. Thank God, most women dont even feel them.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and Ross are there.]
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Okay, okay, well just get everyone to act like they like it. That-that way noone makes fun of her and we still get to go to Sweet Potatoe Pie! (Referring to the dancers.)
Ross: Well, I know the other day in the coffeehouse you were caught up in the whole soccer mom thing? but is that really you? I mean can you honestly picture yourself in a Volvo?
Phoebe: No! (Rosss phone rings.)
Ross: Im not going to do that. (Rachel glares at him.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around the kitchen table as Ross enters.]
(Ross gestures his consent.)
Ross: So its looks like were the first ones here.
Ross: We think Chandler might be having an affair.
Ross: Paul the Wine Guy, Paul?
Rachel: Yeah, maybe if youre in love. But Ross, we are not in love, are we?
Ross: Okay? (goes into the living room)
Ross: He finally asked you out?
Ross: A wandering?
Joey: Yes, but in Drake Remorays body. (Ross laughs unbelievably.) Why is this so hard for you to get? I thought you were a scientist!
Ross: So Rachel, what're you, uh... what're you up to tonight?
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross has picked up a vacuum and is holding it at the door.]
Ross: Okay, sure.
Ross: What?! Are you insane? This woman stole from you. She stole. She's a stealer.
[Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Rachel enter. Ross and Julie don't notice.]
Ross: You guys.
Ross: I cant believe this! I shouldnt be the one making her throw up!
Ross: You know what the scariest part is? What if there's only one woman for everybody, y'know? I mean what if you get one woman- and that's it? Unfortunately in my case, there was only one woman- for her...
Ross: I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny.
Ross: I'm divorced! I'm only 26 and I'm divorced!
Ross: I bet two dollars. (throws it in)
RACHEL: This is Joey, and Phoebe, and this is Chandler, and you remember Ross.
Ross: Yeah, which she probably stole from some cheerleader.
Ross: We are a rare breed.
Ross: I... just feel that the... the chemistry isn't right. I'm sorry. We're... we're more than happy to give you good recommendation...
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Chandler, and Ross are seated. Rachel is walking over with coffee and a piece of pie.]
Ross: (on tape) I mean I I know I wanted to. I just, I just wasnt sure if you wanted to.
Ross: Joe Im not kidding
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross and Rachel are returning from a movie.]
Ross: You got a job?
Monica: Well Ross, you be careful now. You dont want to get a reputation as yknow Professor McNailshisstudents.
Gavin: Right. Right. Ross. So what's the deal with you guys? I don't want to get in the middle of anything
Ross: C'mon, cut. Cut, cut, cut,...
Ross: Yeah.
Joey: (entering) Hey Ross! Listen, do you want to go see that new Imax movie on tide pools?
(they shake hands the way friends would. There's a muffin on the table, and Ross breaks off a piece and wants to put it in his mouth.)
Joey: Nice. Oh hey, what about Ross?
Ross: Split it?
Ross: Goodnight.
Ross: Okay... okay, maybe I will...
Ross: Not since my cop-show got cancelled.
Ross: No, this is pretty much it.
Ross: There's an image.
Ross: Does she.
Mrs. Geller: (to Ross on the stairs) I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
Ross:Hi.
Ross: I just grabbed a spoon. (Ross exits and Monica has no idea what that means.)
Ross: Pregnant?!
Ross: Okay, you wanna play rough, we can play rough.
Ross: Forget it. I-IYknow what? Ill just have the conversation. Ill just say I like things the way they are, and hope for the best. What do you think Rach?
Phoebe (to Joey): Well, our plan is working. Rachel is having a miserable time, and Ross is just stood up somewhere at a restaurant all alone.
Ross: Well, I mean if uh, if Emily gave me a choice
Rachel: Ok... (and passes the spider to Ross who holds it in between his hands)
Ross: Dude, you didnt say Die Hard. Is everything okay?
Ross: Okay, so on our no-date evening, three of you now have dates.
Ross: (standing outside the door).....Hi.
Ross: Aw, Mom...
[The Gellers glare at Ross.]
Ross: (pause) I am a doctor! Yknow what? Im just gonna go and talk to Rachel myself.
Ross: I- I think they're great! I, I really do.
Ross: Huh? Oh, I got this(Holds up this pink frilly thing)this!
Ross: Yeah. (They go to the kitchen.)
Ross: (grabbing the wheel) What-what are you doing?! Are youOkay thats not funny! Just stop horsing around!
Rachel: That is so sad. Your missing out on so much, Ross. I mean, the bonding and the sharing, you know. And-and knowing that someone else is going through the same thing you are.
Ross: I like it. I do, I think it's a Ten. (Chandler laughs.)
Ross: Mm.
Ross: Got me.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Yeah. Yeah, oh you loved that thing. You always had it with you. You never went anywhere without-without that coloring book.
Ross: Yes, yes!
Ross: Mm-hmm..
Ross: (To Joey) I cant believe you told her I was going to propose!
Susan: Ross.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, is the one where Rachel screwed up the desert and Ross and Joey are trying to enjoy it.]
Ross: How could I forget?
Ross: Well, uh, uh, I don't know, okay, okay, how about with the, uh, with the baby's name?
Ross: Wasn't this supposed to be just a fling, huh? Shouldn't it be...(makes flinging motions with hands) flung by now?
Ross: Thank you!
Ross: Look, all I know is I-I cant have another failed marriage!
Ross: Celia, don't worry! Don't scream! He's not going to hurt you! Soothing tones, Celia. Soothing tones! Marcel...
Ross: Now, if you wanna try to make some of it back, Id be glad to play you for it. But I should warn you, I am very good at Cups.
Ross: No no no, she gets a credit, hey, I'm in there too.
[Scene: Grammercy Bistero, Ross and Kristen are waiting for their table to be ready. Ross is returning from talking to the matired.]
Ross: Oh my God.
Ross: Well? Isn't that amazing?
[the bullies grab the back of the couch that Ross and Chandler are sitting in and tip back]
Ross: Then don't do that, alright?
Ross: (walks over to where Monica is standing)Monica. Whaddya think?