words in movies
Chandler: Okay Ross has the cameras, has he checked out yet?
Monica: Ross has never checked out of a room a minute before he had to.
Chandler: Okay, well Im gonna get Ross, get the cameras, and get them developed. (Joey laughs again.) 32 Joe. Youre 32! (Exits)
[Scene: Rosss Hotel Room, he is letting Chandler in.]
Ross: Hi.
Chandler: Hey. (He sees that Ross is packing all of the hotel toiletries) Soaps? Shampoos? Are you really taking all this stuff?
Ross: Why not? Its built into the price of the room.
Ross: Thread!
Ross: What disposable cameras?
Ross: No you didnt.
Ross: Oh-oh yeah, you-you came up to me and asked if I could do you a favor, and my Uncle Murray came up to you and handed you a check. And then you said, "Why do they call it a check? Why not a Yugoslavian?" (Chandler laughs.) Yeah, then you did that.
Ross: No. Sorry man.
Ross: Well, Im sure theyre still somewhere here in the hotel. Ill-Ill help you look for them.
Ross: In-in three minutes.
(Chandler goes into the bathroom, closes the door, and then opens it again right away. Ross looks up and hands him the toilet paper Ross already packed.)
Monica: No! Joey and Ross dont know anything and Chandler still thinks that Phoebes pregnant.
[Scene: The Banquet Room, Chandler is under one of the tables as Ross enters.]
Ross: Chandler?
Ross: No. Did you?
Ross: Well I checked in the uh, lost and found, I talked to the manager, no-ones turned them.
Ross: Now you guys just got married, why is she so depressed?
Ross: Im sorry man. (Formally dressed people start to enter.) Heres a thought. This is the same ballroom. Theres a band. Theres gonna be plenty of dressed up people.
Ross: No-no-no, Im saying we-we buy more of this (disposable cameras) at the gift shop, throw our tuxes back on, and take a few pictures. All we have to do is make sure not to get anybody elses faces.
Ross: Im just thinking about your new bride at home. Okay? Do-do you really want to start your life together by letting her down?
Ross: Im telling you, this looks exactly like your wedding! Arent these the same flowers?
Ross: What about the chairs?
Ross: How about the place settings?
Ross: What did you do?
Ross: Hmm. (They head off to the gift shop.)
[Scene: The Banquet Room, Ross and Chandler are in their tuxes and have started to fake the pictures.]
Woman At The Wedding: Oh! Of course. (Ross and Chandler pose and she takes the picture.)
Ross: I heard it. I heard it.
[Scene: The Banquet Room, Ross is taking a picture of a plant, Chandler a fork. The band stops.]
Ross: Okay. Okay!
Ross: Will the owner of a 1995 Buick LeSabre please see the front desk? Your car is about to be towed.
Ross: A 95 LeSabre?!
Ross: A green LeSabre?
Ross: Im sorry, I meant a blue LeSabre.
Ross: Well go! Go move it! (He runs off.)
Ross: Yeah.
Chandler: Get ready to run. (Chandler walks over to the new bride.) Congratulations on your wedding. (He grabs her, kisses her, Ross takes the picture, and they both run out.)
(Chandler and Ross enter with the new pictures.)
Ross: Now you are going to love these.
Chandler: (showing her the pictures) Heres a picture of Ross. (Shows another one.) And thats me. (Another one.) And thats me and Ross. (Another one.) Oh-ho, that is a picture of our first kiss as a married couple.
Ross: Huh, didnt see that coming.
Ross: Well, Im gonna go get these (the floral bouquet he walked in with) in some water.
Ross: No-no, I took them from the hotel lobby. Yeah, they think they can charge me for some dirty movie and a bag of Mashuga nuts, they got another think coming. (Starts to leave.) Hey! My sweater! Ive been looking for this for like a month!
[Scene: A Street, Ross walks past Tag wearing the same red sweater.]
Ross: Hey! How you doing?
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Oh hey, right back at ya.
Ross: Yeah. SheWell, shes one crazy lady?
Ross: (shows Tag his sweater tag) Umm, I dont some Italian guy. Come on, read your own label. See you later.
Ross: He is so weird.
Ross: Honey, just relax, it's gonna be fine. Hey, umm,. why don't I come down there and I'll take you out to lunch?
ROSS: Julie, can you hold this for a second, thanks. [hands her a bowl and kisses her]
Ross: You ducked!!
ROSS: I, I don't know, it's got all this stuff about wind and trees and there's some kind of sacred pool in it. I mean, I don't really get it but she's, she's pretty upset about it.
[Scene: Phoebe's cab. Phoebe is driving very fast, and a terrified Ross has closed his eyes.]
Ross: Okey-dokey!
Ross: Okay, Ill see you soon buddy. (He hugs and kisses him.) Be back in an hour.
JOEY: One of the virus victims called in sick, so Cathy recommended me and boom, I'm dying on the gurney. Oh Ross, Marcel just finished his last scene if you want to go down there and say goodbye.
Ross: No they dont!!! (He runs to the bedroom to check and returns with his box of condoms.) Well they should put it in huge black letters!!!!
[Scene: The Hall, Ross and Susan are arguing.]
Ross: I dunno, it's weird. I mean, I know she's gone, but I just don't feel, uh...
Ross: Okay, we could still make dinner if we skipped the appetisers and asked for our check right away.
Ross: I'm really gonna miss this apartment. Y'know, Ben-Ben took his first steps right over there. (Points.)
Ross: Then how did you get caught in the barbed wire?
Ross: I guess when you don't have so many distractions, it's easier for you to focus. Huh?
Ross: Oh much, much worse. I did my impression of Joan Rivers as one of the earliest amphibians... (gestures with his hands and says in an impression voice?) "Can we walk"? (Phoebe starts laughing) Oh, you... you like that?
Ross: Oh-oh, Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger.
(Monica is taking a drink as Ross says that, laughs, and snorts her drink.)
ROSS: Oh c'mon. Maybe you're just, uhhh... paying your dues.
Monica: Ross, we're kind of in the middle of diner here.
(Ross starts to play. He plays a key that has a back beat sound attached to it. Over the background music he plays the sound of a barking dog, a mooing cow, a laser beam, someone coughing, a jackhammer, a doorbell, a police siren, a ray gun, breaking dishes, and for a closer he plays the sound of a loud crash. Basically, the music sucks.)
[They go into the apartment. Inside the apartment it looks like a sewage dump exploded and landed in her living room. There are clothes and food and junk covering every square inch of space. I mean pigs have nicer pens. Ross is completely shocked.]
Joey: Ah, can I just say I know we're doing this for Ross, and that's cool, but if it was up to me, this is not what we'd be doing on our first date.
Ross: Oh really, really great! Yeah! A-actually shes right down the street, umm, do-do you know what? You should stop bye and say hi.
Rachel: Okay, but Ross just listen to me
Rachel: (simultaneously as Ross) No, I dont think well be doing that.
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben. I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
[Ross is speaking to Monica and Rachel about tipping the super.]
[Scene: Cousin Frannies Wedding Reception, Ross and Monica are at the door and about to leave.]
Rachel: Oh Ross, you're so great. [she playfully rubs his head and gets up]
Rachel: (Tearfully) Ross, I'm doing everything that I can, I've got everybody looking for him, and I- (Door buzzer goes and she runs to get it) Oh! Who is it?
Ross: What's with her?
Ross: Oh, I uh, just came by to pick up my skull. Well, not mine, but...Susan: Come in.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe, Chandler, Ross, and Monica are eating breakfast.]
Ross: I can't believe I'm about to meet Benjamin Hobart. I've always thought of him as one of the people I'd invite to my fantasy dinner party. Do you think there's any chance he'll bring Christie Brinkley or C3PO?
Ross: No, you know, it's uhm... nothing you did, it's... it's uhm... my issue.
Monica: A-ha!!! (they all start laughing, as Ross hides in the bathroom)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Ross are both pouting and sitting on the couch.]
Ross: Oh please, hit by a blimp?
Ross: Hey there little fella! Hey, uh-hey, why dont we get some shoes on ya, huh? Hey, why dont you show dad how you can put your shoes on, in your room! Yay!!
Phoebe: Hey Ross! So listen, about you and the dinosaur girl, are you really just gonna let a couple of Nobel prizes scare you off? What is that, come on, a piece of paper?
Ross: Like uh, that gold necklace I got her last year.
Ross: Oh, ha, I wrote that in one minute.
CHANDLER: Hey, sorry I'm late. Congratulations, Mon. (to Ross) I'm not sorry I'm late. How incredible was my afternoon with Jade?
[They sit up, moaning in excitement, and Cheryl straddles Ross. Ross finds a slice of bologna and moans higher and louder, then a bag of potato chips on the coffee table starts to move. Ross throws Cheryl off his lap, grabs a tennis racket and a toilet brush and starts pounding the bag.]
Rachel: Am I the only one who doesn't think that she's hot? Ross?
Ross: Dont yell at me okay, this is the most Ive seen you all week.
Ross: That is a great idea! And! I know Ugly Naked Guy because we've been watching him for like five years so that gives me back my edge! Oh, let's see now he had the trampoline.
Ross: (thinks about it for a few seconds) What did you do to my mom?
[Scene: At the counter. Ross is sitting there, drinking. Phoebe approaches him.]
Rachel: Yeah. Its just gonna be too hard. Yknow? I mean, its Ross. How can I watch him get married? Yknow its just, its for the best, yknow it is, its Yknow, plus, somebodys got to stay here with Phoebe! Yknow shes gonna be pretty big by then, and she needs someone to help her tie her shoes; drive her to the hospital in case she goes into labour.
Ross: No one, I’m just saying if... (Phoebe starts pinching him in his neck)
Ross: Yeah? Me too. (Pause) Gettin a little tired though.
Rachel: But Ross, you want the name Ruth!
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Phoebe has moved in and has a massage client on her table shes set up in the living room. Ross enters and is shocked to see a naked man lying on the table.]
Chandler: Will you marry me? Will you marry me? (Makes like a gun with his fingers.) Hey, you marry me! (He gives up as Joey, Rachel, Phoebe, and Ross slink in all excited.) Whats going on little elves?
Ross: Hey, when the snippy guy sees the routine, hell wanna build us our own platform!
Ross: Somebody seems to be missing being the hostess.
[Ross goes over behind the guy and grabs the pie out of his hood as he leaves]
Ross: Wow, this cologne really is every bit as good as Georgio.
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, Monica is picking through her ruined childhood heirlooms with Ross.]
Ross: Oh, that's right! (to Emma) Daddy and uncle Joey are going on a trip today. We're going to a conference in Barbados, right?
Ross: Look Carol umm, I was, I was thinking maybe uh, maybe we can spice things up a little.
Ross: Aw, he's gonna be so happy.
Ross: This is great. Rachel's gonna keep kissing guys until she finds the one she wants and I'm gonna die alone.
[Ross whines and starts working again. The door opens and Tag enters.]
Rachel: (Into the phone) Hello? (announces to Amy) Oh, it's our nanny! (goes back to the phone conversation) Hi! Oh... God! I hope you feel better! Ok, bye! (Hangs up) (To Ross) That's Molly, she's sick. Can you watch Emma today?
(They are still listening at the wall, when Ross enters their room)
Ross: Oh, man, I'm not going to be able to handle this. (pause) Now I know how my students feel at the end of each year. And why they act out by giving me such bad evaluations.
Mike: (to Chandler and Ross) You know, Chappy's too small to handle all this snow. Someone's gonna have to walk him down the aisle.
Ross: (jumping up) Good! A verbal contract is binding in the state of New York! (Storms out.)
Ross: Oooohhh, I'll bet she's one of those people.
Ross: Dont ask me, I had it and I blew it!
Ross: Ma, youre asking me to marry you?
Ross: Wha...? Wait, wait, wait, just a minute. None of my questions have anything to do with Paleontology.
Ross: Youre not a lefty?
Ross: Then, Fred Astaire singing The Way You Look Tonight came on the sound system, and the lights came down. And I got down on one knee and written across the dome in the stars were the words "Will you marry me?"
Ross: Eh, you think? I mean, you went out with a guy who improved the accuracy of radiocarbon dating by a factor of 10!
Ross: Well, you better hop outta the shower, cause... I gotta flush. (lays down cards)
Ross: Does it always, uh--?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering, dragging Chandler, to mediate the argument between Chandler and Monica.]
Ross: Look, I-I know its not a proposal and I dont know where you are, but with everything thats been going on and with Emma and Ive been feeling
Ross: Oh yeah, shes-shes amazing. And-and shes so much fun. And! Yknow what? When Im with her, Im fun! I even signed up for helicopter classes. (Chandler is shocked.) Shes leaving in two days, I dont have to do it.
Ross: Yeah, she never misses these conferences! (then to Charlie) No, I just saw Dr. Kenneth Schwartz!
Joey: I play Al Pacino's butt. All right? He goes into the shower, and then- I'm his butt. Monica: (trying not to laugh) Oh my God. Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big! Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's- it's- y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into show business. Joey: Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me! Ross: You're right, you're right, it is.
Ross: Oh, come on, every first time mother feels that way. Youllyoure gonna pick it up. (Rachel doesnt believe that.) Hey! You will! Uh look, yknow when you first came to the city? You were this spoiled helpless little girl who-who still used daddys credit card. Do you remember?
Ross: Maybe the pogo-stick likes it too?
Rachel: Y'know what Ross? You're not going anywhere. You're gonna sit right here. I'm gonna make you a cup of tea and we're gonna talk this thing whole out. All right? (She goes out to talk to Dave) Hey, Dave!
Ross: Hmph. So what you, you tell each other everything?
Rachel: (holding stomach) Okay, a couple months late on the lecture, Ross.
Ross: (turning a corner) There he is!!
Chandler: She's cheating on Joey with Ross!
Ross: (picking up Chi-Chis picture) Aww! Chi-Chi! Oh, I loved this dog! Yknow Monica couldnt get braces because Chi-Chi needed knee surgery.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's kitchen. Ross got a beer from the refrigerator and opens the bottle. Rachel now also enters the kitchen.]
Ross: I don't know, you don't wanna mess with corn nuts. They're craaazy.
Ross: Whoa! You were down on one knee?
Ross: Eh, I mean, I mena she's not unattractive but hot? I ....
Ross: Ben, you ready? All right, gimme your foot. Ok, on three, Ben. One, two, three. Ok, That's it, Ben.
Mrs. Geller: Honestly! Ross, this isnt just some girl you picked up in a bar and humped. A child should have a family.
Ross: do you have a compact in your purse?