words in movies
[Scene: The hospital, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are in the waiting room, waiting for Carol and Susan to arrive.]
Ross: She's not here yet. She's not here. She's having my baby and she's not here.
Ross: I don't know, but when I spoke to her, she said she had already passed the mucus plug.
Ross: God, I don't believe this. She could be giving birth in the cab.
Rachel: Oh, Ross, relax. It's probably like two dollars for the first contraction, and then fifty cents for each additional contraction.
Ross: She's not even here yet.
Ross: (to Carol) Where the hell have you been?
Ross: Susan wanted a Chunky. We're having a baby, ok, a baby, you don't stop for Chunkys.
[Scene: Carol's Hospital Room, Carol is on the bed, Ross and Susan are at her side.]
Ross: Stopped for a Chunky.
Carol: Let it go, Ross.
Ross: (weakly) No.
Ross: Dr. Franzblau, hi.
Ross: 59 seconds. (holds up his watch) Quartz, ha.
Ross: I'll get it.
Ross: I got itI'm getting it!
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Phoebe is playing a song. Chandler, Monica, and Ross are there as well.]
(Ross gives Phoebe a dollar.)
Phoebe: Thanks, Ross.
Ross: Yeah. I'm paying you to stop.
[Scene: Carol's Hospital Room, Ross and Susan are coaching Carol.]
Ross: Breathe.
Ross: Breathe.
Ross: Breathe.
Ross: 15 more seconds, 14, 13, 12...
Ross: Who the hell is Jordie?
Ross: No-no-no. I don't have a son named Jordie. We all agreed, my son's name is Jamie.
Ross: What? Whoa, whoa whoa whoa, what do you mean, back to Jordie? We never landed on Jordie. We just passed by it during the whole Jessy, Cody, Dylan fiasco.
Ross: I got it.
Ross: I got it! Hey, you get to sleep with her, I get the cramps.
Ross: Why?
Ross: No, you started it.
Ross: But...
Ross: (to Susan) Thanks a lot.
Susan: (to Ross) See what you did.
Ross: (to Carol) Yeah, listen...
(Ross and Susan both angrily leave the hopsital room.)
[Scene: The Hall, Ross and Susan are arguing.]
Ross: Please. This is so your fault.
Ross: Look, Carol never threw me out of a room before you came along.
Ross: You tryin' to be clever? A funny lady?
Ross: Oh, I'm threatened by you?
Ross: Yeah, Susan.
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross and Susan are trying to get out.]
Ross: I'm having a baby in here! Ok, everyone stand back. (Walks backwards as if he is going to break down the door, but steps in a bucket and falls) Ow.
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross has picked up a vacuum and is holding it at the door.]
Ross: Help! Help!
Phoebe: (singing) They found their bodies the very next day, they found their bodies the very next...(sees Ross and Susan staring at her) la la la la la la.
Susan and Ross: (even louder) Help!
Monica: Now, Mom, everything's going fine, really. (Listens) Yeah, Ross is great. He's uh, he's in a whole other place. (Listens) No, he's gone. (Listens) No no, you don't have to fly back, really. (Listens) What do you mean this might be your only chance? (Listens) Would you stop? I'm only 26, I'm not even thinking about babies yet.
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross is trying to open the door with a credit card, with no success.]
Ross: Come on, come on. Damnit, damnit, damnit, damnit. (to Susan) This is all your fault. This is supposed to be, like, the greatest day of my life, y'know? My son is being born, and I should be in there, you know, instead of stuck in a closet with you.
Ross: No no no, believe me. No one has been waiting for this as much as I have, ok? And you know what the funny thing is? When this day is over, you get to go home with the baby, ok? Where does that leave me?
Ross: Every day is Lesbian Lover Day.
Ross: You wanna explain that?
[Scene: Carol's Room, she is ready to give birth. Everyone is there except for Phoebe, Ross, and Susan, who are in the broom closet.]
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross has used a broom to open the air vent in the ceiling. Phoebe is wearing a janitor's uniform, ready to go up in the vent.]
Ross: Ok, got the vent open.
Ross: Ben, you ready? All right, gimme your foot. Ok, on three, Ben. One, two, three. Ok, That's it, Ben.
(Ross and Susan lift Phoebe up into the vent.)
Ross: Phoebs, It's open! It's open!
(Ross and Susan run to the delivery room, leaving Phoebe dangling from the vent.)
Janitor: (to Ross and Susan) Wait! You forgot your legs!
[Scene: Carol's Room, Ross and Susan rush in.]
Ross: We're here!
Ross: Long story, honey.
Ross: Let me see, I gotta see, I gotta see. Oh, a head. Oh, it's, it's huge. Carol, how are you doing this?
Ross: (puts his head near the baby) Hello! (to Dr. Franzblau) Oh, sorry.
Ross: We got a head, we got shoulders, we got arms, we got, oh, look at the little fingers, oh, and a chest, and a stomach. It's a boy, definitely a boy! All right! Ok, legs, knees, and feet. Oh, oh. He's here. He's a person.
Ross: Kinda like my uncle Ed, covered in Jell-o.
Ross: Oh, thanks, Pheebs!
Ross: (thinking) How 'bout Ben?
Ross: We uh, we just cooked it up.
Ross: Hey.
Ross: (to Ben) I know, I know. Everybody, there's someone I'd like you to meet. Yeah. This is Ben. Ben, this is everybody.
Monica: Ross, can I?
Ross: The head, the head. You gotta...
Ross: Ben, I want you to know that there may be some times when I may not be around, like this. (walks out of the picture) But I'll still always come back, like this. (returns) And sometimes I may be away longer, like this. (walks away) But I'll still always come back, like this. (returns)
Ross: No, this is pretty much it.
Ross: All right, I'll see you guys later.
(They all leave but Ross, but they all come back a few seconds later. They make faces at the baby.)
Ross: You ate my sandwich?
Ross: You-you-you-you (trying to remain in control) threw my sandwich away!
Ross: (getting upset) Oh-oh really?
Ross: Ni-chou chi-ma! (walks onto jetway)
Ross: (entering) Okay Pheebs, I know how we're going to figure this out. Okay, clear your mind and answer the first thing that comes into your head. Okay?
Ross: I know when Im 90 shell be like 80 and it wont seem like such a big difference.
Joey: Uh-uh, excuse me, I do have to interrupt on Rosss behalf. I-I think the rule applies here yknow, since she has a chance to get on broad back
[Cut to Ross and Emily standing by the foosball table.]
Rachel: Oh no, I really dont want any(He takes the picture)Oh! Thank you. Oh. Oh Ross
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is answering the door in his robe.] CHAN: No, no, no, no, no, no [opens door to Monica] No. Monica, it's Sunday morning. I'm not running on a Sunday. MNCA: Why not? CHAN: Because it's Sunday. It's God's day. MNCA: OK, if you say stop, then we stop. CHAN: OK, stop. MNCA: No, c'mon, we can't stop, c'mon, we've got three more pounds to go. I am the energy train and you are on board. Woo-woo, woo-woo, woo-woo [Chandler walks out of the apartment, leaving Monica] Woo. [Scene: Rachel and Monica's apartment. Rachel is taking asprin. Ross enters.] ROSS: Hey Rach. RACH: Ahhhh. ROSS: Oh. And how was the date? RACH: Umm, I think there was a restaurant... I know there was wine. . . [Rachel looks at Ross as though she remembers something, but can't place what it is.]
Ross: Oh yeah, we're uh, yeah we're not together. (He starts backing out of the store.)
Ross: All right, did you just say all right?
Ross: What?
Ross: What?
[Scene: A Street, Chandler and Ross are at a newsstand.]
Ross: I fell asleep!
Ross: Aw forget it, its from Pier One. (Theres an angry knock on the door.) Sorry. (Goes and opens the door to an irate Dr. Green.)
ROSS: So don't, I don't see why we have to go to this thing anyway, it's your ex-fiancee's wedding.
Ross: Thanks Aunt Pheebs. Hey, you didn't microwave that, did you, because it's breast milk, and you're not supposed to do that.
Ross: No! I made it seem like I was just calling to chat. Pretty sure, they both think Im interested in them.
[Scene: Ross's bedroom, Ross is working and Rachel is reading a book in bed]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Ross are inspecting the damage to the dollhouse.]
(She does Ross's little gesture. In response Ross puts his hands behind his neck with his arms sticking straight out and starts flapping them together.)
Ross: Hi! (Rushes over to shake her hand instantly.)
Ross: Okay, come on! All right, I gotta go! So good luck at the party. Okay?
Ross: Thank you! And I have to say that first scene when you meet Mac
Ross: Oh my God. I mean
Ross: Thatll be a neat trick, when youre, (looks at the script) when youre dead!
Ross: Totally.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's hotel room, Rachel is still trying to get the ink off and Ross is on the phone to the company. Wait a minute, why exactly are they sharing a hotel room? Didn't they like break-up or something? Did I miss a memo? Or maybe, it's just foreshadowing things to come. Who knows? Maybe the answer's at the bottom of the page. Then again, maybe it isn't and it's just one of those things TV writers just don't explain. Anyhoo ]
Phoebe: (To Ross) Hes holding us back.
Ross: So uh, Emily called last night
Ross: Uh yeah! Let me, let me get that for you.
Ross: Sure, I-I-I... (hugs her and mouths No!!)
RACHEL: Well, um . . . I don't know.� I mean, for a long time nothing.� But you know, actually right before you picked me up, Ross and I had a . . . ah . . . little thing.
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Chandler: Yes, but in Rosss case, they both know in two weeks thats it.
Ross: Thanks!
Ross: Her date tipped me ten dollars. (Monica laughs)
Ross: (entering) Hi! Sorry Im late. Were you sleeping?
Paul: So Ross, what your problem?
Ross: What?
Ross: This isyou(Ross starts laughing.)
Ross: Eh-whExcuse me?
Chandler: Ross!
Monica: Ross!!
Ross: And the Irish guy wins the joke!
Ross: (noticing the outfit he is wearing) Whatd you do, take him whaling?
(Ross spots Chandler and starts chasing him around the kitchen table. Chandler runs and hides behind Monica.)
Ross: Thats funny. Umm . (Pause, then serious) Its not funny.
Rachel: No! No I, no Ross is not a geek!
Ross: Damn! I cant believe I took her off my list.
Monica: You know, they're not actually supposed to have... (Ross looks at her sheepishly) I'll work on the lumps. Joey, you're going home, right?
Rachel: Oh! Ross is sooo great!
Rachel: Oh, really, really? Well, it wasn't very good for me either. (She turns to leave and Ross over takes her and stands infront on her, his back to the row of doors leading to the hospital rooms)
Phoebe: (turning from Ross.) No!! Hey-hey that's not a Nutter-Butter, that's just an old Wonton!
Ross: Ah.
Ross: Joey?!
Paul: Hi Ross.
Rachel: Ross, Joey is not here.
Rachel: Ross, its okay. You can come out.
Ross: You were at the coffeehouse!
Ross: That was different!
Ross: This is weird for me!
Ross: How is that important?
Ross: I got held up at Dr. Gettleman's office. There was some guy that freaked everybody out.
Rachel: Hey Ross! Any word on the apartment yet?
Ross: Oh, yeah I know, I know, it's a lot of boxes, but again I really appreciate you guys letting me stay here.
Ross: Yeah, take your time.
Ross: So, uh, Rachel, what are you, uh, what're you doing tonight?
Ross: Really like those Macadamia nuts, huh?
Ross: Not all bad.
Ross: Yeah. You know what? I know what you mean; I do that too.
Ross: Youre back.
(Ross and Monica high-five)
Ross: No, no, no, no, no, I don't want to know, absolutely not. I think, you know, I think you should know until you look down there, and say, oop, there it is! (pauses) Or isn't...
Ross: Im just saying if you cant eat by yourself, how do you expect to have a baby by yourself?
Ross: Oh, I-I don't know, it's kind of expensive for a studio.
Ross: Y'know what? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say no divorces in '99!
Chandler: (To Ross) Smooth.
Ross: Kristen, hi. Are you uh, new to the area, cause if you are Id love to show you around sometime.
Ross: Oh, you could just go uh, "greatest of ease (plays air guitar) BAH-bah-bha-bhannn." Then go right into it.
Ross: Well if it doesnt matter to her, it doesnt matter to me! (to Paul) Still not yelling!
Ross: God no!
Ross: Thats okay Rach, were not liking Ross right now.
Rachel: I don't know. It's so complicated. I work with this guy, you know, I have the baby, and I have Ross, and I just...I don'tknow what to do and I have to be at the office and see Gavin in ten minutes.
Ross: Uh yeah, I guessYeah! I guess so.
Ross: Ohhh! Kids!
Elizabeth: I like Ross.
Ross: Listen, I know you wanted to talk to me, but I have an idea that may make you want to stay married. (Rachel shakes her head.) We register, and you get to keep all the presents!
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: I was just outside Barcelona, hiking
Ross: Did I, did I even treat?
Ross: Oh yeah, Emily convinced me to do it.
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Why? What?
Ross: Yeah. And did you, did you pack that bathing suit?
Chandler: Ross.
Ross: We are four short of a bush-o (pause). God I feel so alive, I love being in the country!