words in movies
[Scene: The hospital, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are in the waiting room, waiting for Carol and Susan to arrive.]
Ross: She's not here yet. She's not here. She's having my baby and she's not here.
Ross: I don't know, but when I spoke to her, she said she had already passed the mucus plug.
Ross: God, I don't believe this. She could be giving birth in the cab.
Rachel: Oh, Ross, relax. It's probably like two dollars for the first contraction, and then fifty cents for each additional contraction.
Ross: She's not even here yet.
Ross: (to Carol) Where the hell have you been?
Ross: Susan wanted a Chunky. We're having a baby, ok, a baby, you don't stop for Chunkys.
[Scene: Carol's Hospital Room, Carol is on the bed, Ross and Susan are at her side.]
Ross: Stopped for a Chunky.
Carol: Let it go, Ross.
Ross: (weakly) No.
Ross: Dr. Franzblau, hi.
Ross: 59 seconds. (holds up his watch) Quartz, ha.
Ross: I'll get it.
Ross: I got itI'm getting it!
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Phoebe is playing a song. Chandler, Monica, and Ross are there as well.]
(Ross gives Phoebe a dollar.)
Phoebe: Thanks, Ross.
Ross: Yeah. I'm paying you to stop.
[Scene: Carol's Hospital Room, Ross and Susan are coaching Carol.]
Ross: Breathe.
Ross: Breathe.
Ross: Breathe.
Ross: 15 more seconds, 14, 13, 12...
Ross: Who the hell is Jordie?
Ross: No-no-no. I don't have a son named Jordie. We all agreed, my son's name is Jamie.
Ross: What? Whoa, whoa whoa whoa, what do you mean, back to Jordie? We never landed on Jordie. We just passed by it during the whole Jessy, Cody, Dylan fiasco.
Ross: I got it.
Ross: I got it! Hey, you get to sleep with her, I get the cramps.
Ross: Why?
Ross: No, you started it.
Ross: But...
Ross: (to Susan) Thanks a lot.
Susan: (to Ross) See what you did.
Ross: (to Carol) Yeah, listen...
(Ross and Susan both angrily leave the hopsital room.)
[Scene: The Hall, Ross and Susan are arguing.]
Ross: Please. This is so your fault.
Ross: Look, Carol never threw me out of a room before you came along.
Ross: You tryin' to be clever? A funny lady?
Ross: Oh, I'm threatened by you?
Ross: Yeah, Susan.
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross and Susan are trying to get out.]
Ross: I'm having a baby in here! Ok, everyone stand back. (Walks backwards as if he is going to break down the door, but steps in a bucket and falls) Ow.
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross has picked up a vacuum and is holding it at the door.]
Ross: Help! Help!
Phoebe: (singing) They found their bodies the very next day, they found their bodies the very next...(sees Ross and Susan staring at her) la la la la la la.
Susan and Ross: (even louder) Help!
Monica: Now, Mom, everything's going fine, really. (Listens) Yeah, Ross is great. He's uh, he's in a whole other place. (Listens) No, he's gone. (Listens) No no, you don't have to fly back, really. (Listens) What do you mean this might be your only chance? (Listens) Would you stop? I'm only 26, I'm not even thinking about babies yet.
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross is trying to open the door with a credit card, with no success.]
Ross: Come on, come on. Damnit, damnit, damnit, damnit. (to Susan) This is all your fault. This is supposed to be, like, the greatest day of my life, y'know? My son is being born, and I should be in there, you know, instead of stuck in a closet with you.
Ross: No no no, believe me. No one has been waiting for this as much as I have, ok? And you know what the funny thing is? When this day is over, you get to go home with the baby, ok? Where does that leave me?
Ross: Every day is Lesbian Lover Day.
Ross: You wanna explain that?
[Scene: Carol's Room, she is ready to give birth. Everyone is there except for Phoebe, Ross, and Susan, who are in the broom closet.]
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross has used a broom to open the air vent in the ceiling. Phoebe is wearing a janitor's uniform, ready to go up in the vent.]
Ross: Ok, got the vent open.
Ross: Ben, you ready? All right, gimme your foot. Ok, on three, Ben. One, two, three. Ok, That's it, Ben.
(Ross and Susan lift Phoebe up into the vent.)
Ross: Phoebs, It's open! It's open!
(Ross and Susan run to the delivery room, leaving Phoebe dangling from the vent.)
Janitor: (to Ross and Susan) Wait! You forgot your legs!
[Scene: Carol's Room, Ross and Susan rush in.]
Ross: We're here!
Ross: Long story, honey.
Ross: Let me see, I gotta see, I gotta see. Oh, a head. Oh, it's, it's huge. Carol, how are you doing this?
Ross: (puts his head near the baby) Hello! (to Dr. Franzblau) Oh, sorry.
Ross: We got a head, we got shoulders, we got arms, we got, oh, look at the little fingers, oh, and a chest, and a stomach. It's a boy, definitely a boy! All right! Ok, legs, knees, and feet. Oh, oh. He's here. He's a person.
Ross: Kinda like my uncle Ed, covered in Jell-o.
Ross: Oh, thanks, Pheebs!
Ross: (thinking) How 'bout Ben?
Ross: We uh, we just cooked it up.
Ross: Hey.
Ross: (to Ben) I know, I know. Everybody, there's someone I'd like you to meet. Yeah. This is Ben. Ben, this is everybody.
Monica: Ross, can I?
Ross: The head, the head. You gotta...
Ross: Ben, I want you to know that there may be some times when I may not be around, like this. (walks out of the picture) But I'll still always come back, like this. (returns) And sometimes I may be away longer, like this. (walks away) But I'll still always come back, like this. (returns)
Ross: No, this is pretty much it.
Ross: All right, I'll see you guys later.
(They all leave but Ross, but they all come back a few seconds later. They make faces at the baby.)
Ross: Well y'know cause Rachel and I used to go out.
ROSS: Oh. How do you uh, ya know, keep it so neat?
Ross: Uh, if you guys don't mind, I'd like to take a moment, just me and him.
Ross: No! No, no, no, no, okay, it wasn't the swing's fault. It was my fault and kind of that (point to the kid that kicked him) kids fault. Who is still laughing. Nice.
Ross: No, but, it's, you know, it's just a funny image, you know, the two of you, in this restaurant, with... (laughs nervously)tzz-zzz, mmm.
Rachel: Yeah! (She puts on her coat and turns around and sees Ross is expecting her to help.) (Laughing.) Are you kiddin'?
Ross: You're kidding.
Ross: Wow!
Ross and Rachels Apartment
[Cut to inside the apartment, Rachel and Ross are entering.]
Ross: Whaddya see?
Ross: You mean that?
Ross: Yeah? How'd it go?
Ross: (entering) Okay, that's it. I cannot make this decision! It is too difficult, so I'm just gonna leave it entirely to the gods of fate. (He holds up and starts shaking a )
Rachel: You know what, we just say that she said it was 5 o'clock. We'll just act casual. We're not late, we're right on time. (When she finishes talking, a note is pushed from under Monica's and Chandler's door, into the hall. Ross picks it up and reads it out loud)
Ross: (Ross hugs his mom and dad)Hi. Mom. Dad.
Ross: Chandler-
Ross: (waves) Hello!
Ross: Ok, ok. I'm gonna come out to Long Island with you, I mean, you can't be alone right now.
Ross: (mocking Paolo) Blah blah blah, blah blah blah... blah blaaaaaah....
Ross: I know-
Ross: (stopping suddenly and getting up) Okay, I gotta go.
Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You looked at her. You never look. You just answer, it's just a reflex. Do I look fat? Nooo! Is she prettier than I am? Noo! Does size matter?
Joey: I dont know Ross, not if youre gonna talk about how you gave up a career in basketball to become a paleontologist.
Ross: Okay, I'm scum, I'm scum.
Ross: Susan...
Carol: The sex of the baby, Ross.
Susan: Oh, hello Ross!
Joey: Absolutely. But, were gonna stop by the hospital just to be sure, okay? Ill page Ross on the way. Come on.
Joey: Ross! Ross! Ross, listen! Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Rachel or Phoebe?
Ross: Thanks you guys. (Walks away happily and his parents smile.)
Ross: I dont know, I mean you were a lot bigger, I mean, stronger back then.
Ross: I am good. Okay! Okay! Uh, I got the pillow! I got the bag! You got the keys?
Ross: Do you have a minute? Id like to talk to you about something Im, Im really uncomfortable talking about.
Ross: Hi Pheebs!
Ross: My God.
Ross:(sympathetic yet...) Yeah, well...
Ross: We're shushing... because... we're trying to hear something. Listen. (everyone is silent) Don't you hear that?
Ross: The actress!
Ross: Thanks Rach.
Ross: No. No-no uh, he just, he just really freaked me out before.
Ross: Come on, two on one.
Ross: What, now?
ROSS: Come on up. I'm gonna get the rest of his stuff together. [walks in his room]
Ross: (entering) How's it going?
Ross: Okay. Um, how about these? (Holds out a pair)
Ross: Hey.
Ross: I prefer not to answer that right now, Im still carrying a little holiday weight.
Ross: You all right?
Rachel: Oh, Ross...
Ross: What?
Ross: Huh.
Rachel: Oh Ross, you're so great!
Monica: (entering) Ross (who has his foot on the coffee table), foot on the floor or come over no more!
Ross: Oh come on. It's cold, it's dark, he doesn't know the Village. (Kicks a sign in frustration) And now I have a broken foot. I have no monkey, and a broken foot! Thank you very much.
Ross: (astonished) What?
Ross: (holding a dress out from inside the closet) This one?
Ross: and then, we couldve gone from the ceremony to the reception with you in the sidecar!
(Ross looks scared)
Ross: I'm having a son. Um...
Ross: This is fun. Hey Rach, remember that whole "We were on a break thing?" Well, I'm sorry, will you marry me? (Laughs--whines as he sees that no one is laughing. They're just staring at him in shock.)
Rachel: Ross, this is not how we wanted you to find out about this. You have every right to go nuts.
Ross: OK, I have a question. Well, actually, it's not so much a question as.. more of a general wondering... ment.
Joey: Nonono, you can't kiss Ross, that's your brother.
[Camera pans to the Geller family table. Ross, Rachel, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there.]
Ross: Yeah, and she still wants to go! It's pretty clear where she is.
Ross: What do you want to do now? Huh? You wanna go get a drink?
Rachel: (talking in her sleep) Oooooooooh. (Rachel strokes her hand over the pillow. Ross mimicks her silently) Oh, that's nice. Oh, oh. Huh, Ross!
Ross: Wha-I'm having, I'm having a boy! (babbling) Huh, am I having a boy?
Molly: (goes out of the room) Hey! Guys, this is Tabatha (they kiss on the lips in a romantic way). (to Ross) I'll see you tomorrow.
Ross: So, eh. I made out with Adrienne and you made out with Missy. Well I guess we're even.
Ross: Yeah.
Monica: Ross! He's playing with my spatulas again!
Ross: Why? Why would I why? Why? Why? Why?
Ross: Nonono, thatthat's not what I was saying...
Monica screaming at Ross: Forget the bubblewrap! There isn't time!
Ross: Marcel, c'mere, c'mere. (He sits down and Marcel jumps down and sits beside him) Well buddy, this is it. There's just a coupla things I want to say. I'm really gonna miss you, and I'm never gonna forget about you. You've been more than just a pet to me, you've been more like a be- (Marcel climbs down and starts humping his leg) Okay, Marcel, please, could you leave my leg alone? Could you just stop humping me for two seconds?! Marcel, would- okay, just take him away. Just take him.
Rachel: Oh please. Okay, anyone in this room think that I would send Ross begging symbols, please show of hands. (Ross raises his hand and no one else.)
Ross: Okay, hold my crawler.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is showing everyone a poster as Ross enters.]
Ross: Not even once.
[Scene: Rosss Apartment, Ross and Monica are there.]
Ross: Well, there is an Arbys in the shape of a tee-pee.
Ross: Im sorry the answer there would be...none of us.
Ross: Hey. Oh, oh, how'd it go?
Ross: We're sorry, Pheebs, we're sorry.
ROSS: Rach, Rach, we'll be fine, all right?� You go have fun.
Ross: Hey Pheebs, could you please not put your feet up on my new (On Rachels glare) old sheet?
Ross: So Joey, you okay?
Phoebe: (Walks towards Ross) If you hadn't just had a baby with my best friend I swear to Lucifer a raber dog would be feasting on your danglers RIGHT NOW!
Ross: Why, why, why would you dream that?
(There is a knock at the door. Someone turns the music off, then the whole party runs and hides, except for Monica and Rachel who answer their door. Ross stands in the doorway, holding a box, but everyone is too keyed up to notice that it's him.)
Ross: Not well. I went on the subway again and someone did sit on my hand but that person was neither female nor wearing pants.
Joey: I'm tellin' you Ross, she wants you.
Woman: Hi, Ross.
Ross: Actually, nectarines, but basically...
Ross: Aw, right.
Ross: An egg?
Ross: Hi. She said yes.
Phoebe: Ooh. Oh. It looks like, like a tiny little person drowning in your cereal. (Ross gives her this look, like 'Yeah, doesn't it', and gets up to dump it down the drain.)