words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there, Ross is telling a story about what happened at work and the rest of the gang are thinking to themselves, denoted by italics.]
Ross: So I told Carl, Nobody, no matter how famous their parents are, nobody is allowed to climb on the dinosaur. But of course this went in one ear and out.....
Ross: Hey. When you guys were kids and you played Happy Days, who were you? I was always Richie.
Ross: We?
Ross: Oh shoot, tomorrows not so good, Im supposed to um, fall off the Empire State building and land on a bicycle with no seat. Sorry.
Rachel: Ross, my father doesnt hate you.
Ross: Please, he refers to me as wethead.
Rachel: But honey he calls everybody by a nickname! Okay, look, I know, all right, just one dinner, please, just one night for me, please. I just want him to love you like I do. (Ross looks at her) All right, well not exactly like I do, but, but, if you do come to dinner, Ill love you like I do in that black thing that you like.
Ross: Fine.
Ross: Hi Gunther.
Ross: What?
Ross: Come on! Thats great.
Ross: Yknow your probably not allowed to sleep with any of your students.
[Scene: Restaurant, Rachel and Ross and Dr. Green are having dinner.]
Rachel: You remember Ross.
Ross: Nice to see you again Dr. Green.
Dr. Green: So! (they both try to sit next to Rachel but Dr. Green is successful.) (to Ross) Hows the library?
Ross: Ugh, museum.
Ross: There never was a library. I mean there are libraries, its just that I ah, I never worked at one.
Ross: Yeah, if youre really hungry. (Dr. Green stares at him) It was a joke, I made a joke.
Rachel: Yeah, actually Daddy Ross is allergic to lobster.
Ross: Its not a library...
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
Ross: So, Dr. Green, hows the old boat.
Ross: It gives it a nice antiquey look.
Dr. Green: (he stares at Ross) Rust, is boat cancer, Ross.
Ross: Wow. Im sorry, when I was a kid I lost a bike to that. (Rachel giggles at that)
Ross: Okay! (picks up a knife and pretends to stab his heart.)
Ross: Yeah. (sees the bill) Op! Uh-oh! I think your Dad mustve added wrong. He only tipped like four percent.
Ross: Thats Daddy?! But doesnt it bother you? Youre a waitress.
Rachel: Yes, it bothers me Ross, but y'know if he was a regular at the coffee house, Id be serving him sneezers.
Ross: So?
Rachel: So. Ross, Ive bugged him about this a million times, hes not gonna change.
Ross: You really serve people sneezers?
Ross: Thanks again, Dr. Green.
(Ross takes a twenty and slips it underneath the bill when Dr. Green isnt looking.)
Ross: Oh, ah, you dont need that.
Ross: The carbon, its messy, I mean it gets on your fingers and causes, the, the ah, night blindness.
Ross: Oh, yeah, that would be me, um, I have, I have a problem I-I tip way too much, way, way, too much, its a sickness really.
Rachel: Yeah it is, it is. (to Ross) We really, really have to do something about that.
Ross: I know.
Ross: Nothing I do means anything, really.
Dr. Green: This is nice. I pay two hundred dollars for dinner, you put down twenty, and you come out looking like Mr. Big Shot. You really want to be Mr. Big Shot? Here, Ill tell you what, you pay the whole bill, Mr. Big Shot, all right. (rips up the bill, and throws it at Ross, then leaves)
Ross: Well Mr. Big Shot is better than wethead.
[Scene: Hallway, Ross and Rachel are returning from dinner.]
Ross: Four percent. Okay. I tip more than that when theres a bug in my food.
Rachel: Ross, tonight was about the two of you getting along. (Ross groans and rubs his neck) Oh, would you just see my chiropractor, already.
Ross: Yeah, Im gonna go to a doctor who went to school in a mini-mall.
Ross: Hey Pheebs, what are you doing?
Rachel: All right, look, heres the bottom line Ross, this is fixable, if we act fast, okay. So, Ill invite him to brunch tomorrow and you can make nice.
Ross: Look, honey, I have tried to make nice, it doesnt work.
Rachel: Okay, look, Ross, I realise that my Father is difficult, but thats why you have got to be the bigger man here.
Ross: Look sweetie, I could be the bigger man, I could be the biggest man, I could be a big, huge, giant man, and it still wouldnt make any difference, except that I could pick your Father up and say Like me! Like me tiny doctor!
Rachel: Okay, well cant you just try it one more time Ross? For me? For me?
Ross: Rachel one brunch is not gonna solve anything. You gotta face it, okay were never gonna get along.
Ross: Okay, okay, okay. (hugs her) Ill get the bagels.
Dr. Green: Baby. Ross.
Ross: Dr. Green. How are you? (offers his hand, and Dr. Green puts his scarf on it.)
Ross: Thank you for teaching me a valuable lesson.
Ross: (to Rachel) Okay, thats it, I cant take it anymore.
Ross: Oh, please. Sweetie its hopeless, okay, Im just gonna go. (starts to leave rubbing his neck)
Ross: Look, look Im sorry. Its just that....
Dr. Green: Ross? Whats with the neck?
Ross: Thank you! Thats what I keep saying.
Ross: Uh.
Ross: And his first name.
Ross: Oh-ho please. Ask her how?
Ross: Argue with that.
Dr. Green: Come on! Youre just titling! (to Ross) Her legs are fine!
Ross: I know that!
Ross: What can I do, she doesnt listen to me about renters insurance either.
(Both he and Ross start laughing)
Ross: Hey, would you ah, would you like some juice?
Ross: Okay. (to Rachel) Wow! This is going so well. Did you see us? Did you see?
Ross: Excellent!
Ross: Thats, thats, thats a big candy bar. (Shes holding one of those huge Toblerone bars.) I had the most amazing time with you.
Ross: You called Animal Control?
Ross: Can't do it, can you?
Ross: I know.
Ross: Well, start looking.
Rachel: Ross, you're like my best friend.
Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What makes you think we're gonna break up?
Ross: Oh, hey, hey, I got that.
Ross: No, no, they will. I just... uh...
Ross: Yeah.
Ross and Julie: Can't wait.
Ross: Monica bang! Monica bang! (runs into one of the posts) Ow!
Ross: Okay, okay, I was typing names into the library computer earlier, yknow-yknow for fun, and I typed mine in and guess what came up? My doctoral dissertation! Its here! Yeah, its right-its right down here! In the biggest library in the university! (They start heading that way, towards a secluded section behind the racks.)
Ross: (seeing her) Rach!
Ross: Oh Rach thats great. Thats great. (They hug and Joey breathes a sigh of relief.)
Ross: Even if the sidecar had a windscreen so your hair wouldnt get messed up?
Ross: I'm just so happy you guys are finally getting a kid.
Ross: What?! Hello! We didnt get married.
Ross: Everyone, this is Julie.
Chandler: Ross, I am not gonna run away again! I just want to get a little fresh air.
Ross: The screaming guy?
Ross: 200 at least.
Ross: You gotta hear this story.
Ross: And bus.
[Scene: An Emergency Room, Chandler and Joey are leading Ross in.]
Ross: Hey, Rach, can I get some coffee?
Ross: Thank you.
Monica: Uh, so, uh, Rach, uh... do you wanna save this wrapping paper, I mean, it's only a little bit torn... so are you gonna go for it with Ross or should I just throw it out?
Ross: I'm going to China.
Ross: But...
Ross: It was you, pal.
Rachel: (To Ross) Here's your lemonade.
[A montage of scenes from The One Where Ross and Rachel Take A Break follows.]
Joey: (To Ross in the kitchen) All right, it's another commercial; I still haven't told her!
Ross: (stopping her from falling) Okay, okay. Look, you have got to go to a doctor! Okay?
Ross: Oh, I know. (Laughs) Yknow, just-just talking about it is getting me kinda
Ross: (to Joey) So? What do you think? (Shows himself - Joey observes him with a strange look on his face.)
Ross: You're bleeding.
Ross: (to Rachel) So, uh, he's back.
Chandler: (Tapping Ross on his shoulder) So, you feel like a dad yet?
Monica: Yknow, it is so strange seeing Ross here this time of day, cause usually hes got the childrens hospital.
Joey: You gotta tell Ross how you feel.
Ross: What?
ROSS: I just wanna read something. It's your pro list.
Ross: What?
Ross: (entering) Hey! I just heard. What's up?
Phoebe: (to Chandler and Ross) Thank you.
Ross: (walks up) Wow Monica! Hey, just so you know I had my uh, older brother chat with Chandler.
Ross: I didn't order lemonade.
Ross: Oh wow, yeah! See, I did not get that.
Rachel: Okay, what? What is too sensitive? (There's music coming from the living room. Ross opens the door to the living room and he and Rachel see Sandy play a song for Emma on his recorder. Rachel is moved by this, but Ross only sees his point proven again, and walks back into the kitchen, angrily. The door he was holding, swings back and hits Rachel.)
Ross: Okay. Okay. (They hug.) Okay.
Ross: Y'know how-how the nurse said that-that Nana had passed? Well, she's not, quite..
Ross: It's been sixteen years but the air quotes still hurt.
Ross: All right here. Watch me execute the three Ps of championship play. Power. (swings the racquet) Precision. (swings the racquet.) and penache. (does a backswing and hits Sarah whos started up the stairs, knocking her down, they both watch in horror.)
Ross: Carol?
Ross: (following them into the kitchen) What are you guys doing?
Ross: Hi. Sorry we're late but we werewell, there was touching.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is getting Mona some coffee.]
Ross: Hello to the rest.
Ross: (enters) Hi, honey.
Ross: (Looking at the posters.) Wow, cool poster. Or should I say groovy poster? (They sit down on the couch. Ross smiles and the black light fluoresces his teeth.) So, ahh, where were we?
Ross: How's the hair?
Ross: Long story, honey.
Ross: What difference does that make?!
Monica: Ross let me ask you a question. All jokes aside, where is this relationship going?
Ross: Hey! (congratulates him)
(Ross and Chandler turn at the voice...)
Ross: Carol, we've been through this before, ok? We have a good time. We laugh, we play. It's like we're father and son.
Ross: No!
Ross: (overhearing) What kind of research?
Ross: It's breast milk.
Ross: Oh, I'm threatened by you?
Carol and Susan: Hey! (This wakes Chandler and Ross up)
Ross: Oh, you've tasted it.
Ross: Helen Geller? I don't think so.
Monica: Ross, he's got the remote again.
(They both laugh as Ross heads back to the bathroom.)
(Ross goes over to the counter. Chandler follows him.)
Ross: Oh, all right. (Joey flips the coin.) Tails! (The coin bounces off of the landing above them and falls to the ground.) Can you-can you see what it is?
Ross: No. No, I didnt. I didnt want to be that guy.
Ross: Yeah I know; hes in Bens class.
Rachel: (she reaches for the bottle) Oww! (She grabs the bottle, but has trouble opening it. She pops the top off and aspirins fly all over the place as Ross enters.)
Ross: I got it! Hey, you get to sleep with her, I get the cramps.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is there as Jill enters to start her date with Ross.]
Ross: Well, yeah. I cant-I cant stay here all night, and if I go in there shes-shes gonna wanna... do stuff.
Ross: Rachel, Ive seen you naked a million times. I ate hot fudge off you naked. Remember, I-I sucked that mini-marshmallow out of your belly button?
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross is holding Ben.]
ROSS: We'll give you Janice.
ROSS: [smells Ben's butt] No no, you're fine, you're fine.
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, theyre returning from the party.]
Rachel: Ross is coming over. I think now would be a really good time to talk to him.
ROSS: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What, you don't, uh, you don't believe in evolution?
ROSS: You don't believe in evolution?
ROSS: Hi.
ROSS: Well, there you go.
ROSS: Oh you guys are not gonna believe what happened.
[Scene: Elizabeth Hornswoggle's apartment; Ross is there on his date with her. They are sitting on the couch watching a movie. Ross is obviously hot.]
ROSS: Ok, we were sitting over there playing on the floor and he grabs the table and he pulls himself up. He pulled himself up. Standing man. I'm sorry you guys missed it but I did tape it so it you guys want to see it.
Ross: Phoebe, there is no secret. Okay? I didnt propose.