words in movies
Ross: Hi! (he kisses Phoebe)
Ross: Oh, (he goes towards Mike in order to shake hands but Mike hugs him) hey, oh... I... I was-I was going for a hand shake.
Ross: That is why!
(cut to Ross, Chandler and Rachel)
Ross: Yeah, I thought we'd be groomsmen, but wouldn't they have asked us by now? When did they ask you to be their bridesmaid?
Ross: I wanna say it's not looking good.
Ross: What? (Ross and Chandler don't know what to say, so there's an embarrassing long pause)
Ross: Oh, man!
Chandler: This is like figure skating team all over again. (Phoebe and Ross glare at him astonished) I mean synchronized swimming. (they continue to glare) I mean- I mean the balance beam. (to Ross) Help me!
Ross: FOOTBALL!
Ross: I can't believe we're gonna be the only people that aren't in this wedding.
Ross: And it's a wedding! It'd be weird if I'm not in it...
Ross: Who cares, AND?
Mike: ...and I was wondering if... you know, maybe one of you guys... (Ross stands up)
Ross: I'll do it!
Ross: No, Mike, no, no. You wanna pick me, I mean... watch! (he mimics the groommens way of walking down the aisle with a bridesmaid) Huh?
Ross: (to Chandler) Well, if Phoebe's choosing, then say hello to Mike's next groomsman.
Ross: Please, you're going down!
Ross: Is that what they say on the Figure Skating Team?
(Cut to Chandler and Ross. Phoebe comes out of the ladies room and they run toward her.)
Ross: So, what did you decide?
Phoebe: Well, there's a spot open for only one groomsman and you have to choose between Ross and Chandler. So good luck with that.
Ross: I'll do it! (Monica approaches)
(Ross enters the room)
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Where's Rach?
Ross: I have to talk to her about this groomsman situation, ok? I'm not gonna watch Chandler up there while I'm sitting in the seats like some chump! (he goes to Rachel's room, knocks the door and enters the room). (very fake gasp) Oh! My God! You're breathtaking!
Ross: You haven't by any chance chosen a groomsman yet, have you?
Rachel: Oh, Ross, c'mon, please! Don't make this harder than it already is!
Ross: I'm not! I'm making it easier! Pick me!
Ross: Listen, listen. Whoever you pick is gonna walk down the aisle with you! Now, I promise I won't say a word, but if you pick Chandler he's gonna be whispering stupid jokes in your ear the whole time!
Ross: (waving his fist in the air in triumph) YES, YES!
Chandler: Hey, can I talk to you about this groomsman thing? If you pick Ross, he'll walk you down the isle just fine. But if you choose me, you'll be getting some comedy!
Rachel: Even so, I think I'm gonna pick Ross.
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross is getting coffee at the counter. Chandler walks in.]
Ross: (smiling to himself) Good. I'm just getting some coffee. So I'm alert for the wedding.
Ross: (barely containing himself at this point) Well, you have fun tonight.
Ross: Oh, I will.
(They walk passed each other, Ross towards the door, Chandler towards the counter, suddenly they turn around to face each other)
Ross: Wait a minute, I know why I'm being such an ass, why are you?
Ross: I'm not supposed to tell you!
(Cut to Joey and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Ross storm in looking very unhappy)
Ross: Rachel, only one of us can do it, you have to choose. You and me together again. (he winks at her and Rachel looks disgusted)
Ross: What? A dog? No! Rachel gets to choose.
(Ross and Chandler look shocked)
Ross: (to Rachel) Haha! Looks like you're not going to be in the wedding either. (Looks at Phoebe) So sorry Pheebs.
Ross: (To Phoebe and Mike) I can't believe you guys aren't going to be able to get married today.
Mike: (to Chandler and Ross) You know, Chappy's too small to handle all this snow. Someone's gonna have to walk him down the aisle.
Chandler and Ross: I'll do it!
Ross: No, but Chandler, hello... Aren't you scared of dogs?
Ross: (takes Chappy from Mike) Well, I guess I'm in the wedding then. Ha haaa... (smells Chappy) He stinks!
Ross: Uhm, ministers don't ride the subway for free.
Ross: I'll...
Chandler: (to Ross) Na ha ha... (to Chappy) Ne he he... (Ross moves Chappy to Chandler, who quickly backs away) Ah ah...
Monica: Okay, Mike and Joey, get in position. Chandler, come with me. (they walk off, Ross looks down to Chappy, who he's holding and he gets a whiff of the dog's smell. He is clearly disgusted by it.)
(A woman with a steel drum and a guy with a xylophone start playing an instrumental version of "Can't Help Falling In Love" by Elvis Presley. A bridesmaid and a groomsman walk down the isle. Next are Rachel and Ross, who carries Chappy in his arms.)
Rachel: Geez Ross, you could have showered.
Ross: It's the dog.
Ross: Uh Joey...
Ross: Chappy's heart rate has slowed way down.
Joey: Nice. Oh hey, what about Ross?
(cut to the street in front of Central Perk where Ross is walking Chappy. He has a plastic bag in his hand.)
Ross: Come on Chappy, do your business. MAKE! MA-AKE! I did not sign on for this.
Ross: OK, turn around. (Joey looks taken aback) I just don't want you staring at me when I'm doing this.
Ross: No, of course, Um Um, everybody? Um, I-I just wanted to say on behalf of my new bride, Rachel (She turns around and smiles), and myself. Umm, that if if in 35 years, were half as happy as you guys are, well count ourselves the luckiest people in the world.
Ross: (entering) Hey! Okay! I got my passport, fresh socks, and a snake bite kit!
Ross: Oh! Man I dont think Ive seen you since uh, Lance Davis graduation party.
Ross: There's no seatbelt!
Ross: Oh my God, he just said your name, thats great! Good job Ben.
Ross: Fine! Yknow what? It doesnt matter, because, if I remember correctly, there is a comb on the floor of the bathroom.
Ross: Oh, Carol and I have a new system. If she punches in 911, it means she's having a baby, otherwise I just ignore it.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Monica is throwing a party. Joey is talking to Ross about the bad audition he just had while pouring booze onto a snow cone.]
Joey: Name? (Ross looks at him.) I know Ross but whats it short for? You know like, like Rossel or Rosstepher.
Charlie: I'm sorry... (introduces them to each other) Ross Geller... Benjamin Hobart.
Ross: Right, no, I understand.
Ross: I don't want to be single, okay? I just... I just- I just wanna be married again!
Ross: Hey. (stutters something incoherent)
Ross: Really? Its not just frowned upon?
Ross: Oh! (Recoils in horror.)
Ross: Okay, umm. Did you ever see, um, Return Of The Jedi?
Ross: You did! Oh.... I always figured you just thought I was Monica's geeky older brother.
Ross: The blond woman is my ex-wife, and the woman touching her is her... close, personal friend.
Ross: Okay, stop it! I cant deal with this right now. I have to go have a baby.
Ross: (To Chandler) I thought you were my best friend, this is my sister! My best friend and my sister! I-I cannot believe this!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are sitting at one of the high tables.]
Ross: Your ex-boyfriend is insane.
Ross: I know! It's like, if you knew, why didn't you tell me, you know? I mean, call, or leave a note: "Hi, I just dropped by to say your wife's gay"
Ross: JFK.
[Scene: a NYU lecture hall, Rachel and Monica are arriving to talk to Ross after the lecture, but are there early.]
Ross: And that's bad because..., you hate chicken piccata?
ROSS: Oh, Monica, I figured I'd come by tomorrow morning and pick up Fluffy's old cat toy, OK?
Ross: (even more shocked) Wha..? I need 6 graduate students.
Ross: Oh. Listen, do you think- and try not to let my intense vulnerability become any kind of a factor herebut do you think it would be okay if I asked you out? Sometime? Maybe?
Ross: (getting upset) Oh-oh really? Did you confuse it with your own turkey sandwich with a Moist Maker?
Ross: Fine, we'll call the next one Ella.
Rachel: I know you did. I'm just gonna deal with it, I'm just gonna deal with it. (Ross comes by, smoching with Julie on the phone.) I gotta get out of here. (Exits)
Ross: Uh, you know, you can't always get a seat on the subway, so... (laughs stupidly)
Ross: (stares at him angrily) Ok. (determined to spell it correctly) B - O - S ...
[Scene: The Auditorium, Ross and Rachel are about to... you know.]
Ross: Im gonna go get him! Okay, I am going back in! (Squeals like a madman.)
Ross: Calm down. Theres no reason to get testy.
Ross: What? I cant cancel on Joan!
Ross: (to the class) Right! So when Rigby got his samples back from the laboratory he made a startling discovery! What he believed to be igneous, was in fact sedimentary. Imagine his consternation when(sees Monica and Rachel.) Oh bloody hell.
Ross: Really? You dont think thats a little inappropriate. (Shes wearing a tank top and has her belly sticking out.)
Ross: Yeah the dad and Ben eat soup and pretend to enjoy it.
Ross: And that's just the herbivores. I'm not even gonna discuss the carnivores, their heads are already too big. Which is ironic considering their stunted cerebral development.
Ross: Well, whatever it is I'm-I'm very, very sorry. Okay?
[Time lapse, after dinner. Ross stands up from his self-made map.]
Phoebe: (to Chandler and Monica) You guys, what, what do we do about Ross who drove all the way up here? What do we do? Just like send him back and were then gonna go skiing?
Ross: And that should conclusively prove that I had the idea for Jurassic Park first! Now lets take a look at (Phoebe rushes in.)
Ross: Well, Im a spud
Tommy: Oh! Oh! The usher must be right! What, with all that training they go through! Get out!! (They start to leave.) Here! (He throws him back his ticket.) (to Ross, calmly) Hey man, you want the aisle?
Ross: In the hospital.
Ross: Space is filled with orbiting children. (pause) Look, please, just come on, you know, when you’ll see the look on Emma’s face, I swear you won’t regret it.
Ross: (childish) Huh-huh, they already know it.
(Ross with his pants around his ankles tries to run, but Dr. Geller forgets that he has his pants around his ankles and falls down trying to flee.)
Ross: Oh! That is so thoughtful. (To Joey.) She's a keeper. And what did you bring me? (Grabs the bag that Charlie brought for Joey.)
[cut to later, Joey, Rachel, Ross, and Tim are watching the football game, and they all cheer loudly.]
Ross: Oh my God, she's great! I mean, we-we have so much in common and she's just cool, and funny...
Ross: Cause otherwise theyd have to call it the room room.
Rachel: (in a tearful voice) Oh... Oh boy... (she turns around and sees Ross) Hi...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are playing catch with a little foam globe.]
Ross: Well, yeah, kinda. Um, but thats okay, see we have an understanding, um, see we each have this list of five famous people, (gets his out) so Im allowed to sleep with you. No, no, no, its flattery.
(And walks up right behind Ross, and standard sitcom joke 2B follows with the person being insulted standing right behind the person doing the insulting while the rest of the people become frightened and try to warn the insulter about the insultees presence.)
Ross: I'm meeting with professor Sherman about my being the keynote speaker...
Ross: It just amazes me that your still pulling stuff like this.
(At this point a stream of obscenities burst forth from Phoebes mouth just in time for Ben and Ross to enter and hear most of it, and in slow motion Ross tries to shield his innocent son from Phoebes vulgarity.)
Ross: (jumping to his feet) Look, I don't wanna make any trouble, okay, but I'm in a lot of pain here, alright? My face is dented.
Rachel: Ross! We broke up two years ago; you've been married since then. I think it's okay that we see other people.
Ross: Le Poo's still alive?!
[Scene: Joeys Premiere, Rachel is already there with her date, Tommy who's played by Ben Stiller who will be in There's Something About Mary and Meet The Parents, as Ross and his date, Cailin, arrive.]
Ross: I mean, you just went out with my best friend, and I just think it'd be a really really bad idea. (pause) Or-or not! (they kiss passionately)
Ross: (loudly) Why?! Are there like bears or something?! (Looks around and then sees that Elizabeth is shaking her head no and realizes what Elizabeth meant.) Ohh. Oh, protection. Yeah-no, yeah-no, that-that-that I forgot.
Ross: Oh oh oh! I RESPECTFULLY DISAGREE!!
Phoebe: Well, maybe it wont work out. Maybe Ross wont like her personality.
Ross: There never was a library. I mean there are libraries, its just that I ah, I never worked at one.
(They both try to slowly extricate themselves from Ross, but theres a knock on the door that awakens him.)
Joey: Hey Ross, is uh, is Staten Island really an island?
Ross: Argh!
Ross: W-oa � Mommy! (gestures to his not understanding mother)
Ross: You entered Emma into a Beauty Pageant?
Ross: Ooh, we'll say that we were mugged! You can't get mad at someone who's been mugged!
Ross: (exhales sarcastically) Not two years in a row.
(Ross opens the door and steps into the living room. He has fully removed his pants and holds them wrapped into a ball in front of his crotch. His legs are covered in the powder and lotion paste. He looks terrible.)
Ross: I don't want to be single, okay? I just... I just- I just wanna be married again!
Ross: I was gonna make us some dinner but all I found in your dad's fridge was bacon and heavy cream. (pause) I think we solved the mystery of the heart attack.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Santa (Chandler), Superman (Joey), Ben, and Monica are listening to the Holiday Armadillo (Ross) finish telling the story of Hanukkah.]
Ross: S-s-smell her hair? What if I did?
Ross: Elizabeth! (He opens one of the bed stands that he has curled himself up into.) Okay. Okay. (She helps him out.) Im gonna go out this window. (Points to the window next to him.) Ill meet you at the front door. Just tell them youre going home, okay?
Ross: I bet if I talk to Carol and Susan I can convince them to move to London with Ben.
Ross: Guess who's here. It's the toughest guy in toy land, Ben. (singing) 'A real American hero. I'm G.I. Joe!' Drop the Barbi, drop the Barbi.
Phoebe: Yeah no, Im telling you Rachel has such a great eye for this stuff. Ross, yknow if you ever decide you need to redecorateAnd I think that you should. You should, you should ask Rachel to help.
Ross: (whines "No.") Thats not true!
Ross: That's funny, because you know, you are a huge crapweasel!
[Sequence 3: Chandler throws a pass to Ross, who catches it. Phoebe starts screaming and runs up to him and tries to tackle him. But all she ends up doing is running around his waist and screaming.]
Ross: Hi Rachel! Here's your sister Amy! She thinks I need pec implants!
Ross: Look, I didn't lose my mind! Okay, Janice and I have a lot in common! We've-we've both been divorced. We-we both have kids.
Ross: What do I know? I just sell Middle Eastern food from a cart!
Ross: I thought I heard voices! Hi Charlie! (Kisses her.) Hi Joey. (Hugs him.) And.. Oh! You're gonna have to introduce me to your new girlfriend. (Laughs.) I'm just kidding, I know Rachel, I know. (He squeezes her hand.) Come, please come in. Come in.
Ross: Eh, cause I knew that if I told you, youd make me go, and I knew you needed someone to be with you tonight. Come on. Come on.
Ross: Yeah! Yeah, Emily always wanted to get married in this beautiful place that her parents got married, but its going to be torn down, so I mean, I-I know its crazy, but everything up til now has been so crazy, and I dont know, this just feels right. Yknow?
ROSS: Neil Sedaka wears them.
Ross: Oh my God! Thank you! Thank you so much! (He grabs the ring, kisses it, and then does a double-take realising where its been.)