words in movies
ROSS: [enters] Hiii.
ROSS: Well, I just spoke to Carol. Ben's got the chicken pox.
ROSS: Yeah, so if you haven't already had it, chances are you're gonna get it.
[They get back to back and start rubbing against each other. Ross and Rachel enter.]
ROSS: You know, I might have expected this of you Phoebe, but Ryan, you're a military man.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel and Ross are in the kitchen. Phoebe is sitting at the couch with oven mits on her hands.]
ROSS: Ok, dinner's on.
ROSS: Alright you kids, bye now.
ROSS: Oh look, a low budget puppet show.
[Ross and Rachel leave.]
[They keep kissing and start scratching each other. Ross enters, takes one look, and goes right back out the door.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe, Rachel, Ross, and Ryan are there. Ryan is in uniform, getting ready to leave.]
ROSS: So do you have like any nuclear weapons on board?
ROSS: Wow, it, it's neat learning about submarines.
ROSS: Bye Ryan.
ROSS: You like that do ya?
ROSS: I'll make some calls. [Runs off.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is closing. Ross walks in in a uniform.]
ROSS: Is this what you had in mind?
[Ross picks her up.]
ROSS: I'm shipping out tomorrow.
ROSS: Alright you know, why don't I just meet you upstairs. [Drops her on the couch and walks out holding his lower back.]
Guru Saj: (He starts moving his hands around in circles above the thing.) Ross, there is absolutely no way this is going to come off unless you start to
Ross: Well, you know what? While we're waiting, you guys could tape your message to Emma for her 18th birthday, huh? (takes the camcorder and points it at Monica and Chandler) Ok!
ROSS: [grabs a fur pelt] C'mon.
Ross: Oh, but he will. He still tells the story how Monica tried to escape from fat camp.
Ross: Im afraid the TV Guide comes to Chinandolor Bong.
Ross: But, wont she notice I have makeup on?
Rachel: Yeah. Yknow umm, uh, umm, about that, umm, Ross I really appreciate your offer to let me move in and everything, but dont you think its gonna be weird?
Janine: Thanks. (To Monica and Ross) Great so we can all go together! I gotta run. Catch you later!
Ross: Oh. Listen, do you think- and try not to let my intense vulnerability become any kind of a factor here- but do you think it would be okay if I asked you out? Sometime? Maybe?
Ross: (thinking) Oh. (Pause) Oh! Oh my God! Okay, I know this, give me-give me a second!
Phoebe: Im sorry, for the last time, why arent you two together again? (Silence from Ross.) No, I know. I know, because youre not in that place. Which would be fine, except you totally are.
Ross: (picks up a skull of some carnivore from his side table and puts it in the same bag in which he brought the pterodactyl egg to Zelner) I'm sure he'll understand.
Chandler: Come on, Ross? Remember back in college, when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck?
Ross: (finishing changing Chandler's nicotine patch) There y'go.
Ross: Shielding your face and shrieking like a girl... is not a backhand.
Ross: (Stepping in between them.)Okay! Okay! Thats it!! Parents!! Parents!! Back away!! All right, this is our wedding day! From now on everyone gets along, and if I hear one more word. NO GRANDCHILDREN! (Pointing at his mother.) Thats right!!
ROSS: I was thinkin' about it.
Rachel: All right, look, heres the bottom line Ross, this is fixable, if we act fast, okay. So, Ill invite him to brunch tomorrow and you can make nice.
Ross: Hey, is Chandler here? We talked about catching a movie.
Ross: Wha? Oh, come on. You didnt have tosaltwater taffy?! (Mona laughs) Thanks! This is interesting. You know, most people think this is made with sea water, but its actually made with, uh, salted fresh water. Thats not interesting.
Ross: (looking his elbow, where there's a patch) These aren't suede.
Monica, Moncia, have a happy Hanukkah. Saw Santa Claus, he said hello to Ross. And please tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy! And Rachel and Chandler, have err-umm-glander!!"
Ross: Thanks for the coffee, or bedankt voor de koffie, Gunter. (He translates that phrase into Dutch.)
Ross: And if you think about it, I mean the reason he memorized all that stuff is because he thought it was important to you. You know, that's the kind of guy Joey is.
Ross: Five to be lying, six.
(Ross sits bolt upright, without moving the covers.)
ROSS: Remember when sometimes he'd borrow your hat, and, and when you got it back there'd be little monkey raisins in it.
[Scene: Ross's bedroom, Ross is humming the Star Wars theme. Rachel enters, with her hair done up like Princess Leia's, and wearing a belly dancer's outfit, to simulate the gold bikini thing.]
Ross: I know, but it's still worth mentioning, I think.
[Scene: The lecture, Rachel is listening closely, Ross is bored out of his mind.]
Ross: Thats Daddy?! But doesnt it bother you? Youre a waitress.
Ross: What? You do? You do? (Looks) Oh my God!
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross has used a broom to open the air vent in the ceiling. Phoebe is wearing a janitor's uniform, ready to go up in the vent.]
ROSS: Well for starters, you may want to light it and lose the spatula.
Ross: (crying) I hope youre a better father than youre a friend!! (Cries again and Joey wakes up in horror.)
ROSS: No. So what. So what if we get beaten up, maybe that's just something every man has to go through once in his life. Ya know, like a, like a right of passage or somethin'.
ROSS: Well pal, you didn't give me much of a choice. [flicks the ends of the big bully's tie]
Monica: Mmm, looking good. Ok, cider's mulling, turkey's turking, yams are yamming. (notices Ross is depressed) What?
[Scene: The Hallway Between The Apartments, Ross and Rachel are coming back from the hospital. Ross is helping her up the stairs.]
ROSS: No, look, hey, it's my birthday, and the important thing is that we all be together.
Ross: ...and these come in the shapes of your favourite Christmas characters, Santa, Rudolph, and Baby Jesus.
Rachel: Oh sure Ross, yeah. If I have a heart attack in a restaurant, I want you there with your fossil brush.
Ross: No-no, this is my collection of fossil samples.
Chandler: Well, I tried Billy Jean King, but... (Ross glares at him) you know, you and Monica have the same "I'm gonna kill you" look...? I can usually make it go away by kissing her... (Ross continues to glare at him and Chandler leans in as if he's going to kiss Ross)
[Ross leaves to find Karl. Rachel takes a peek under the loincloth of one of the display models.]
Phoebe: Come on Ross, youre a paleontologist, dig a little deeper.
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Carol has come to pick up Ben.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is alone as Ross, Rachel, Chandler, and Joey enter dejectedly in softball gear.]
Ross: (entering) Hey! So, uhh, Amanda just-just dropped me off. Yeah, that's one of the things I love about her, she's...uh, she's old enough to drive. (to Monica) So uhh, I guess you're not going to mom and dad's tonight?
Ross: She hates Pottery Barn?!!
Ross: Yeah, maybe. I do have my whole career in front of me. I mean, I can still win a Nobel prize. Although the last two papers I've written were widely discredited.
Ross: Well, what about me?! Im a medical marvel!!
Ross: Ohh! Okay! Okay. (Resumes reading word for word from the card) "There are three (pauses and looks at Joey) primary theories concerning sediment flow rate. (Pauses and darts his eyes between Chandler and Rachel.) (Rachel starts laughing) Each of these theories (glances at Phoebe) can be further subcategorized (glances at Chandler) into "
Ross: Ah, the heart of every healthy relationship. Honesty, respect, and sex with celebrities.
JOEY: [quietly] I never know how long you're supposed to wait in this type of a situation before you can talk again, you know? [Ross stares blankly at him] Maybe a little longer.
Ross: Look, I-I know how miserable you are, I wish there was something I can do. I mean I wish I were a seahorse. (She glares at him) Because with seahorses its the male, they carry the babies. And then also umm, Id be far away in the sea. (He sits back down.)
[Scene: The Hospital, Ross and Rachel, whos in a wheelchair, are arriving in the waiting room for the maternity ward.]
Ross: (on phone) Item J437-A, color: winterberry. (Theres a knock on the door as he hangs up the phone. He answers it to Mona.) Hi umm, listen come here, come in. (She does so.) Im so-so sorry about yesterday. I-Im really sorry. Its just that I (He picks up the pink shirt.)
Joey: (grunting) Oh my How much do you weigh Ross?!
Ross: Yeah, we tried them all. We went for a walk, uh we tried a special tea, caster oil, spicy food nothing has worked.
Ross: How did you know she would buy scotch tape?
Rachel: Oh, y'know what? That was a complete misunderstanding! (Ross puts his arms around her and they act all sweetness and light)
Ross starts talking over her 'do you remember' line: Amy. I'm going to save you some time, ok. <spins finger around in circle> All me.
(Ross screams like a little girl.)
Ross: (on the machine) Hey Ross! It's you! I just want you to remember this feeling. You are lucky to be alive! So live everyday to the fullest. Love yourself, okay? Okay. Oh, and also get stamps. Bye! (He hangs up.)
Ross: No-no-no. I don't have a son named Jordie. We all agreed, my son's name is Jamie.
Ross: Hey-hey have you ever locked yourself in a TV cabinet VD boy?!
Ross: Thats okay, I mean it was just two-week thing anyway, I just didnt want it to end this way, yknow?
Ross: Rach, I think I'm gonna wait out here, because my throat is feeling a little scratchy, I don't want to infect him.
ROSS: Pheebs, I have studied evolution my entire adult life. Ok, I can tell you, we have collected fossils from all over the world that actually show the evolution of different species, ok? You can literally see them evolving through time.
(Ross, urged on by his team-mates, jumps on top of the scrum and falls headfirst into the middle, leaving his feet sticking straight up.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the whole gang is there, except for Ross and Rachel. Joey is trying to eat Chinese with chopsticks and fails miserably. Theres a knock on the door, and Chandler answers it to reveal Rachel]
Ross: I was their first born! They thought she was barren! Its not my fault.
Ross: Ugh. Well, were just gonna have to jump. (Joey looks at him.) Yeah. Now, were gonna have to make sure to land to the right of that patch of ice, okay? Not hit the dumpster on the other side and uh, and try to avoid that-that weird brownish red stuff in the middle. So, when you get down there you go up to the roof and you let me in.
Ross: Sure. Sure. Look I dont, I dont know if your plans are finalized yet, but umm, hey I-I know another great way to blow off steam.
Phoebe: uh huh (terns to Ross) how do I look (all her make up has gone everywhere)
Joey: I just got this really weird message from Ross. He said turn on MTV.
Ross: Well, well to sum up, were having fun, you look young.
Ross: (in a strange voice and eating candies) The big apple!
Ross: (licks the envelope and encounters a foreign substance on the glue.) Oh God!
Ross: Yeah, but-but he didn't know that!
Rachel: Okay. (After Paul leaves Rachel drops to the floor to confront Ross.) What?! What are you doing here?!
(Joey looks quizzically at Ross)
Ross: Nope. I mean, I know Susan does every year, but I think I wanna take this year to teach him all about Hanukkah.
Ross: You bought Shawn Cassidy!
Will: Look at her standing there with those yams! My two greatest enemies Ross: Rachel Green and complex carbohydrates.
Ross: Nineteen Eighty Seven. The weekend you guys visited me at school.
Ross: Married couples send out cards, families send out cards, people who have been dating for a couple of months do not send out cards! What-what is she crazy?!
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, the bad desert Ross is quickly eating the mound on his plate.]
Chandler: Hey, that monkey's got a Ross on its ass!
Janice: I know! I know! And then you lose your apartment! And then you lose your job! And then your ex-wife gets married so fast! And now the coffeeahh!! Ross, we need to talk.
Ross: Yeah, were better off without them.
(They move into a space, and Ross points to his eyes and then to hers)
Ross: Hey, wanna wanna a little cheering up?
Ross: Seriously you guys, I can't believe you're going to spend 250 dollars on the lottery, I mean that's such a bunch of boohaki.
Ross: Oh, what were the other two?
Joey: Ooh. (Notices the pizza, grabs a slice, and takes a bite.) So umm, I was talkin to Ross and he said you were looking for a new place.
Joey: So, did you err... did you tell Ross?
Ross: I was really upset about Rachel and Paolo, and I think I had too much tequila, and Nora- um, Mrs. Mom- your Bing- was just being nice, y'know, and- But nothing happened, nothing- Ask Joey, Joey, uh, came in-
Ross: This is insane, Im not gonna make love to you just so that youll go into labor.