words in movies
[Scene: The hallway of Rosss building, there is a Brown Bird girl selling cookies, as Ross and Chandler come up the stairs.]
Ross: Just admit it Chandler, you have no backhand.
Ross: Shielding your face and shrieking like a girl... is not a backhand.
Ross: All right here. Watch me execute the three Ps of championship play. Power. (swings the racquet) Precision. (swings the racquet.) and penache. (does a backswing and hits Sarah whos started up the stairs, knocking her down, they both watch in horror.)
Ross: I know. I feel horrible. Okay.
Chandler: (reading the paper) Says here that a muppet got whacked on Seasame Street last night. (to Ross) Where exactly were around ten-ish?
Ross: Well, Im gonna go see her. I want to bring her something, what do you think shell like?
(Rachel starts to laugh, and Ross notices her.)
Ross: All right, see you guys. (starts to leave)
Chandler: Look out kids, hes coming! (Ross continues to leave with his head down in shame.)
Ross: So, this must be kinda neat for ya, huh? I mean, your Dad tells me that you get a couple of days off school, and you, you ah, dont have to sell those cookies anymore.
Ross: Wow, you ah, you really like all this space stuff, huh?
Ross: I think you would have to clean a whole lot of apartments to go all the way to India.
Ross: Huh. Well, good luck to Dad. Say, how many more boxes would you have to sell in order to win?
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Four hundred, huh? Well, that sounds do-able. (starts to get out his wallet) How much are the boxes?
Ross: (puts away his wallet) And what is second prize?
Ross: Well, that makes sense.
Ross: Yeah, Sarah, anything.
[Scene: A hallway, Ross is selling Brown Bird cookies for Sarah, he stops and knocks on a door.]
Woman: (looking through her peephole, we see Ross standing in the hallway.) Yesss?
Ross: Hi, Im selling Brown Bird cookies.
Ross: No, hi, Im, Im an honorary Brown Bird (does the Brown Bird salute.)
Ross: Ah, well, it means that I can sell cookies, but Im not invited to sleep-overs.
Ross: No, please, please, um, its for a poor little girl who wants to go to Spacecamp more than anything in the world.
Ross: Okay, okay! Im going. Im going. (goes across the hall to knock on another door.)
Ross: All right!!
[Scene: Central Perk, all except Phoebe are there, Ross is telling the gang, minus Rachel whos still being retrained, about the different cookie options.]
Ross: ...and these come in the shapes of your favourite Christmas characters, Santa, Rudolph, and Baby Jesus.
Ross: Wait a minute, one box! Come on, Im trying to send a little girl to Spacecamp, Im putting you down for five boxes. Chandler, what about you?
Ross: No, but ah, theres coconut in the Hanukkah Menoreoes. I tell you what, Ill put you down for eight boxes, one for each night.
Ross: Mon?
Monica: All right, Ill take one box of the mint treasures, just one, and thats it. I-I started gaining weight after I joined the Brown Birds. (to Ross) Remember, how Dad bought all my boxes and I ate them all?
Ross: Ah, no Mon, Dad had to buy everyone of your boxes because you ate them all. But ah, y'know Im sure thats not gonna happen this time, why dont I put you down for three of the mint treasures and just a couple of the Rudolphs.
Ross: Oh, come on, now you know you want em.
Ross: Ill tell you what Mon, Ill give you the first box for free.
Ross: Come on! All the cool kids are eating em! (chases after her.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is entering numbers on a calculator as Ross reads off how much hes sold.]
Ross: ....and 12, 22, 18, four... (Chandler starts laughing) What?
Monica: (comes up and starts looking through Rosss cookie supply) Ross, but me down for another box of the mint treasures, okay. Where, where are the mint treasures?
Ross: Ah, were out. I sold them all.
Ross: Monica, Im cutting you off.
Ross: Mon, look at yourself. You have cookie on your neck.
Ross: Check this out. Five hundred and seventeen boxes!
Ross: Okay, the other night I was leaving the museum just as Laser Floyd was letting out of the planetarium, without even trying I sold 50 boxes! Thats when it occurred to me, the key to my success, the munchies. So I ah, started hitting the NYU dorms around midnight. I am selling cookies by the case. They call me: 'Cookie Dude!'
Ross: Well hey, who did these resumes for ya?
Ross: Well you sure used a large font.
Ross: Sweetie, calm down, its gonna be okay.
Rachel: No, its not gonna be okay Ross, tomorrow is my last day, and I dont have a lead. Okay, y'know what, Im just gonna, Im just gonna call Gunther and Im gonna tell him, Im not quitting.
Ross: What, that wasnt the great news?
[Scene: A Brown Bird meeting, Ross is there with the other Brown Birds to see who won the contest.]
Ross: (to the girl sitting next to him) Hi there. How many, how many ah, did you sell?
Ross: Hey now! That was an accident, okay.
Ross: Whats a scrud?
Ross: I dont have too. I can just look at you.
Ross: (to himself) Not nice enough.
Ross: (to himself) Good for a scrud.
Ross: Thats crap!! Sister Brown Bird. (to Elizabeth) Good going. (does the salute)
Leader: Whos next? (goes over and stands behind Ross, whos feverishly writing on his form, and clears her throat to get his attention.)
Ross: Hi there!
Leader: Hi. And batting for Sarah, Ross Geller, 872. Although, it looks like you bought an awful lot of cookies yourself.
Ross: Um, that is because my doctor says that I have a very serious.... nuget.... diffency.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, and Ross are there.]
Chandler: Tell us what happened, Brown Bird Ross.
Ross: Well, I lost. Some little girl loaned her uniform to her nineteen year old sister, who went down to the U.S.S. Nimitz, and sold over 2,000 boxes.
Ross: Oh, come here sweetie, listen, youre gonna go on like a thousand interviews before you get a job. (she glares at him) Thats not how that was supposed to come out.
Ross: That word was swans.
[Scene: The hallway between the two apartments, Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are coming up the stairs.]
Chandler: (to Ross) Should I tell her I ordered tea?
Ross: No.
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, Ross is bringing Sarah to Joey and Chandlers.]
Ross: Im, Im sorry you didnt get to go to Spacecamp, and Im hoping that maybe somehow, this may make up for it. Presenting Sarah Tuttles Private Very Special Spacecamp!! (opens the door and Chandler and Joey jump up, their apartment is decorated like outer space, one of the leather chairs is covered in tinfoil.)
Ross: Oh come on! Here we go! (picks her up and puts her in the chair) Stand by for mission countdown!
(They start shaking the chair likes its flying into outer space. Ross picks up a soccer ball and starts spinning it in his hand and runs around the chair beeping like a satellite. Chandler also starts running around the chair and saying...)
Ross: Oh no! An asteroid! (throws the soccer ball off the back of Joeys head.)
Ross: Why? What was wrong with her?
Ross: Okay, so whats the matter?
Ross: I liked her.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is returning from his date.]
Ross: (laughs) Why? What, what are you jealous?
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Do you feel better?
Ross: Uh Rach?
Ross: Just one thing umm
Rachel: (starting to cry) Oh Ross, thank you. Thank you. (They hug.)
Ross: that you actually
Ross: Rach?
Ross: (pause) Okay. Okay. Because for a minute you said you
Ross: The bathroom?
Joey: Hey Ross. This probably isn't the best time to bring it up, but you have to throw a party for Monica.
(Chloe gives Ross the thumbs up while still standing behind the door.)
Ross: Hey! What are you guys looking at?
Ross: Uh-huh, Carol, so were we. All right, just-just imagine for a moment, Susan meets someone and-and they really hit it off. Yknow? Say-say theyre coming back from the theatre, and they-they stop at a pub for a couple of drinks, theyre laughing, yknow, someone innocently touches someone else Theres electricity, its new. Its exciting. Are you telling me there isnt even the slightest possibility of something happening?
Rachel: Okay, whos next?! (She looks around the room, and stops when she comes to Ross.)
Ross: (entering with a pizza and beer) Hey!
Ross: Oh sure. (He sits on the apothecary table and touches her hand.)
Ross: Wow! It actually is in the handbook. I cant date you or have a hot plate in my office. I cant believe we have to stop seeing each other.
Ross: Rach, we gotta go.
Ross: Fine! Fine! Yknow what? Whatever you want. Okay? Youre the mommy.
Rachel: Ross.
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Uh-huh.
Ross: Wow!
Ross: Not even, say, breaking up with Janice?
Joey: So, Ross and Rachel got married, Monica and Chandler almost got married, do you think you and I should hook up?
Ross: Mmm?
Rachel: (silently) Okay. (Pause) Seriously, breathe louder Ross! Thats great!
Ross: (to Rachel) Oh, youre nice to her.
Ross: Yknow what? The doctor will be in soon, why dont we not speak until then.
Ross: Do them!!
Ross: Yeah? Hop on. (They start dancing and Mona sits down.) Is the pretty lady looking?
(Rachel turns and looks at Ross.)
Ross: Youve got to be kidding me!
Ross: Hey.
Ross: Monica!
Ross: Its sex.
Ross: Monica, what is the matter with you?
Ross: What?!
Rachel: Ross, whats the big deal? So I kissed the guy!
(Rachel turns her head to Ross and Phoebe and mouths, "No way.")
Ross: I chose those, Im a paleontologist.
Ross: Stop it.
Rachel: Ross IWe tried all the spicy food. Its not working.
Ross: Always a great way to get in a mans pants.
Ross: Yknow what?
Ross: I love when you talk dirty to me.
Ross: Forget it.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Not so much.
Ross: Oh, I know.
Ross: Were having a baby.
Ross: What's the part, Anti-man?
Ross: Uh, Pheebs, some people call that breaking and entering.
Rachel: Ross, you stay here and talk, Im gonna go have a baby.
Rachel: Hi! (Ross is stunned.)
Ross: Oh, see I-I dont know if were gonna be hungry at three.
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Thanks. (When shes gone he collapses into Joey.) I-I think Im dying. I really do.
Ross: What-what?
Ross: I really think theyre out of rooms.
Ross: Something couldve happened. All right? She-she really dug my slides. And-and she was definitely giving me the vibe.
Ross: Thank you.
Ross: Yeah.
(They stop when they see Ross who has to struggle to get out of the bed.)
Ross: This is Rachel. (Points at her.)
Ross: Hi Julie.
Ross: Oh, okay.
Ross: What?
Ross: I will, I will. See, I'm waiting for the right moment. (Joey looks at him) What? What, now?
Ross: Uh yes! Thank you.
Ross: Later.
Ross: Oh good.
ROSS: Hey, anyone hear from Phoebe yet?
Ross: Hey, both you guys should be up there with me. I mean, you two are-are my I mean, Im lucky to have just one good (They all start getting emotional.)
Rachel: No Ross! Ross! Ross! My child has no father!
Ross: Oh uh, Im sorry. (Runs out.)
Ross: N-no! Okay? Weve been through this! Were not gonna get married just because shes pregnant, okay?
Ross: Okay, whats up?
Ross: Mom no, come on! Thank you.
Ross: (laughing) Why, why you do, like with the-the toe separators?
Ross: (acknowledging the last part of her sentence) Well...
Phoebe: Right. And with who again? (Ross exits.)
Ross: Yeah-yeah, help me out here, when you come out of the "brain transplant," you are going to be her?
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Ross is explaining to the gang what happened with his mother.]
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey. Whos that?
Chandler: No, no, no, guys. She's right. We should get to work. I'll take stuff out of the closet, Joey you pack 'em and Ross you re-pack whatever Joey packs.
Ross: Youve sentenced him?!
Ross: Wow! Sorry. So uh, how are the new people?
Ross: Yeah? Okay.
Rachel: Ross.
Ross: What? What?
Ross: Ok, ok, now what is wrong with my Snuggles? What, it says I'm a sensitive, warm kinda guy, you know, like a warm, fuzzy bear. Ok, I can pick something else up on the way.
Ross: Just ignore them.
Ross: (to him) Hey! You wanna live to see your baby?!
Ross: Yknow what, I dont know how comfortable I am going to see how hot the sex is between some guy and your girlfriend.