words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Ross and Rachel are entering with the rest of the gang already inside.]
Ross: Hello!
Ross: So, how was the honeymoon?
Chandler: Ross! Its got your wavy black lines!
Monica: All right, so now that Ross knows can you tell us yknow how it happened? I mean, when did it happen? How many times did it happen?
(Rachel looks at Ross and gets his approval.)
Rachel: Well it happened about six weeks ago, and uh I had just got home from work and Ross was already there cause I guess he had been hanging out with Joey.
Ross: (glaring at him) Yeah, thanks. (Joey nods no problem.)
Rachel: And so I had a lot of work to do so Ross, nice guy that he is, offered to help me out. And then we had a little wine, we got to talking, and the next thing you know out of nowhere Ross comes on to me.
Ross: (laughs) Umm thats thats a little misleading.
Ross: The lie you just told.
Ross: Theres the one!
Ross: Yes lets. Yknow what? Uh, its-its not important. What is important is that, is that were having a baby. And its notDoesnt matter who came on to who.
Ross: What? What?! You were begging me to kiss you! You-you-you were sending me signals all over the place!
Ross: Yeah!
Rachel: Oh please. Okay, anyone in this room think that I would send Ross begging symbols, please show of hands. (Ross raises his hand and no one else.)
Ross: Yknow what?! It doesnt matter! It doesnt matter what you believe! What matters is what happened!
Rachel: Okay. So these signals Ross, explain this to me, cause maybe I need to be more careful. I mean, am I sending you these signals right now?
Ross: Yknow what? Yknow what? Rachel, just-just drop it.
Ross: I can show you, I have it on videotape! (Stunned silence) Its an expression.
Ross: (entering) Rachel wont talk to me! She wont even open the door!
Ross: Okay, listen I am not a pervert!
Ross: Filming Rachel is not something I planned. Okay look, heres what happened, and Joey you-you can back me up on this. All right, about-about a month and a half ago I came to you with a problem? Umm, a personal thing.
Ross: About about sex? (Joey looks at him confused) That I hadnt had sex in months?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is reading a cereal box as Ross enters wearing the red sweater.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Do you have a minute? Id like to talk to you about something Im, Im really uncomfortable talking about.
Ross: I actually had a topic in mind! Im, Im kinda going through a dry spell, sex wise.
Ross: Five to be lying, six.
Ross: Well, I mean its not all bad. Im learning to appreciate the uh, smaller things in life. Like the sound of a bird and the color of the sky.
Joey: The skys blue Ross and I had sex yesterday!
Ross: Please, help me! I have a date tonight. It has to go well okayIm scared for my health!
Ross: Really? Well then tell it to me.
Ross: (sarcastic) Ill try to control myself.
Ross: (laughs) You were backpacking across Western Europe?
Joey: Have a nice six more months Ross! (Starts to leave.)
Ross: (stopping him) Okay! Okay! Okay. Im sorry. Please, please, you were in Western Europe and?
Ross: (intently listening) Why?
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, Ross is on his date with Kristen and theyre drinking wine.]
Ross: Its from France In Europe Western Europe. Yknow umm, a few years ago I actually was backpacking across Western Europe.
Ross: Uh-hmmWait! It gets better. Um, yeah I was in Barcelona.
Kristen: I studied for a year in Barcelona. (Ross is stunned and worried.)
Ross: Anyway, umm so I was um, I was hiking
Ross: (whines) Oh thats great! I was hiking along the foothills of Mount Tibidaybo
Ross: Okay! Do you wanna tell the story?!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is standing at the counter as Ross enters.]
Ross: Great! Im across the street having sex with her right now. Your story sucks!
Ross: No! No, I dont dont want to.
Ross: I was backpacking across Western Europe.
Ross: I was just outside Barcelona, hiking
Joey: No! No! No Ross! Im not hot! Are you hot?
Ross: Its been six months! Im always hot!
Ross: Ill try that.
Ross: Thanks.
Ross: Thanks. And-and hey Joe?
Ross: Listen, if you ever have any problem with the ladies you know Ill help you out.
(Ross pours himself a glass of wine, hits record, and sits down in front of the camera.)
Ross: Hello! Can I get you anything? Huh? Lens cleaner? Your battery okay? (Rachel bursts in carrying two boxes and Ross jumps up.) Rachel!
Rachel: Oh Ross!
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Thats less embarrassing, yes. Yes I was.
Ross: (voiceover) So when she came in, I got distracted and totally forgot about the camera. [Cut back to the present day.] It kept rolling and recorded everything.
Ross: What a great idea! That will get Rachel to forgive me!
Ross: Thank you. (Joey mouths to Ross, "Youll show me right?") No!
Ross: Joey! No!
(Ross storms out.)
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Is Ross still here?
Rachel: Oh really? Well how would you like it if I had sex with you and I taped it? (Joey smiles luridly) Oh forget it! (Ross enters.) Oh there he is now, the father of my child, the porn king of the west village.
Ross: Look, it was accident! Okay? I-I feel bad that it happened, but I swear, I didnt even watch it! Anyway, here. (He takes the tape out of his coat pocket.) I thought you might be more comfortable destroying it yourself. (Tosses her the tape.)
Ross: Forget it, shes destroying it.
Ross: Look, forget it Phoebe. Okay? Its Rachels tape and she can do whatever she wants with it. And she wants to destroy it. So, end of story.
Ross: What?!
Ross: I dont want people to see it for your sake.
Ross: Rachel, please
Ross: Fine. Fine, but I want the record to show that I tried to take the high road, because in about five minutes Im gonna be saying (He laughs and points at Rachel sarcastically.)
Ross: (on tape) Hello! Can I get you anything?
Ross: (on tape) You didnt do it?
Rachel: (on tape) (Ross hands her a glass of wine) I cannot believe that I did this. Especially after Monica just went on and on and on about it! (Mimicking Monica) "Okay Rachel! Here are the invitations Rachel! Now be very careful Rachel! Please, drinking no liquids around the invitations Rachel!" (She tilts her wine glass above and moves it back and forth across the invitations) Whoa oh! Oh-oh-oh! Oh oh-oh-oh
Ross: (pause) Not on the ones we sent out.
Ross: (on tape) I know. Hey remember remember the night they got engaged? How uh, you and I almost
Ross: (on tape) I mean I I know I wanted to. I just, I just wasnt sure if you wanted to.
(Ross and Rachel trade looks while watching the tape.)
Ross: (on tape) So we we both wanted to.
Ross: (on tape) Yeah. (Pause) Anyway umm, it probably worked out for the best.
Ross: And in about five seconds youre gonna see why.
Rachel: (on tape) Ross did I ever tell you about the time that I went backpacking through Western Europe?
Phoebe: Oh, you came on to Ross!
Ross: Now Im so happy.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is looking at the tape sitting on the counter as Ross enters.]
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Yeah. Listen about that, the whole uh, who came on to who thing really doesnt matter. I mean, I think it wouldve happened either way. I mean if you hadnt initiated it I-I-I know I wouldve.
Ross: It was. It was an amazing night.
Ross: I uh I dont know. I mean I I honestly didnt watch it.
Ross: Uhhhhhh that-that may be weird.
(Ross grabs the tape and heads for the VCR as Rachel goes over and puts the chain on the door and locks it.)
Ross: Good luck.
(Ross pushes play.)
Ross: Mind if I mute?
Ross: Oh, oh there go the clothes.
Ross: Six months Rachel, six months.
Ross and Rachel: Ah. (Pause) Oh.
Ross: Hey. We-we look we look pretty good.
Ross: Oh nice tan!
Ross: Ah .
Ross: I have been working out.
Ross and Rachel: Ohh! Ew!
Ross: Oh thats not pretty.
Ross: No!
Ross: Oh no!
Ross: Oh no!!
Ross: No!!
Ross: No!!!
Ross: (fakes a laugh) Please start drinking! (exits)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are napping together again and both wake up at the same time.]
Ross: Its okay, Im ready.
Ross: Oh great! That means Im stuck with, "So, we were watching you in there (Points to the TV) and you were sittin right here! Whoa!"
Ross: Yknow what? Youre just upset because youre losing.
Joey: This one right here. (Ross whines.)
Ross: What?!
Ross: (To Chandler) You dont think its a little crazy that you get all my points just cause you
Ross: (on the phone) Yes, hello. I have a question. Umm, I used your pen to draw on my friend's face. (Listens) A beard and a moustache. (Listens and laughs) Thank you. (Rachel turns around and glares at him.) No, she didn't think so. (Listens) I know it's like (turns and sees Rachel staring at him and quickly changes the subject) anyway, umm well make-up didn't cover it and we've tried everything to get it off and nothing's worked. What-what do we do? (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Oh! Okay. (Listens) Okay, thank you! (Rachel gets excited at his tone.) (Hangs up the phone) Yeah, it's not coming off.
Rachel: Hey Ross! Check it out! I learned a new trick!
[Cut to Ross and Monica, who are finally on a platform!]
Ross: My nana used to do it. That's how she paid for all my dancekarate lessons.
Ross: How much did you pay for that?
Ross: You were the 200-pound 11-year-old who rode her!
Ross: Id like to spin the wheel!
Ross: Shut up! I Dream of Genie!
Ross: Is there a hopping bonus?
Ross: Yeah!!
Ross: Queen Victoria.
Ross: Noooo!!! Every time!!!
Ross: Ben Franklin.
Rachel: Phoebe! You picked Joey and Ross?! You can not have two backups!
Ross: (entering, out of breath) Hey!
Ross: Uh, what?
Ross: Well uh, yknow what? Even if she doesnt know anything, I do! I have a son. And his mother and I didnt live together, and whenever he was with me I took care of him all the time, by myself.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Yes! Yes, youre gonna be so missed.
Ross: Wow! That is a good one! Wow, it looks like a, like a holiday card yknow, with the tree in the middle and the skaters and the snow.
Ross: Oh. (Rachel and he start to stand up.)
Ross: Im telling you.
Ross: Okay lets put aside that you (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) "accidentally" picked up my grandmothers ring and you (Does it again) "accidentally" proposed to Rachel.
Ross: Well, yeah, of-of course Im okay! What? Im just being supportive. Supportive of you and this whole trip, and-and (notices something) what-what is uh, whats this? (He holds up a rather skimpy bathing suit.)
Ross: You sure?
Ross: Fine, fine, Rachel your with Monica, Joey youre with me.
Phoebe: Listen Ross, we ran out of gas, and we dont know where we are, so we cant get a tow truck.
(Ross runs over and tackles him.)
Ross: Umm
Ross: Yeah, they all know.
Rachel: Ross!
Ross: What are you doing up?
Ross: Are ya?
Ross: Wow! The only thing I got from my Grandmother was her eyes. I mean not-not her actual eyeballs, but, but people say that my eyesDo-do you want to make out?
Ross: What?! Look, were trying to rebuild a relationship here, right. How am I supposed to do that here, without being totally honest with each other?
Ross: (stunned) (thinks) Well uh
Ross: (annoyed) Yeah!
Ross: But I-I was going to see if yknow, maybe you uh, start dating again but thatI mean that-that was all, Rach.
Rachel: (stopping him) Oh, wait Ross! Im sorry, one more thing!
Ross: Let me see that! (Grabs the invitation and reads it.) Oh man!
Ross: Hey, remember how Chandler and Phoebe blew us off yesterday?
Ross: Oh.
Monica to Ross: Hi.
ROSS: I told you there was going to be sub-titles.
Ross: Oh, okay.
Ross to Monica: Hi.
Ross: Yeah! I-I teach it in my class.
Ross: Thats my gym.
Ross: Cool! Dad! My report cards! Hey, check this out dad, (reading his grades) Math, A. Science, A. History, A. Gym (He puts it away and finds something else.) Oooh, my rock polisher!
Ross: God, you're amazing... I didn't even have to ask you to call me that.
Ross: Oh y'know what, girls don't like it when I start talking about science.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, continued from before.]
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, Ross and Mona are sitting on the couch.]
Ross: Oh dude, don't worry about it, I found an unattended maid's car. We're way ahead of the game.
Ross: Its funny you should mention diapers.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and the gang is watching Sumo wrestling on TV.]
(Someone knocks the door, Joey goes to open it and Ross is on the other side)
(Rachel looks bored. At this point, Rossa figment of Rachel's imagination shows up on the balcony and starts talking to her.)
Ross: Hey.
Ross: How are you?
Ross: Why? What was wrong with her?
Ross: Okay, so whats the matter?
Ross: I liked her.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is returning from his date.]
Ross: (laughs) Why? What, what are you jealous?
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Do you feel better?
Ross: Uh Rach?
Ross: Just one thing umm
Rachel: (starting to cry) Oh Ross, thank you. Thank you. (They hug.)
Ross: that you actually
Ross: Rach?
Ross: (pause) Okay. Okay. Because for a minute you said you
Ross: The bathroom?
Joey: Hey Ross. This probably isn't the best time to bring it up, but you have to throw a party for Monica.
(Chloe gives Ross the thumbs up while still standing behind the door.)
Ross: Hey! What are you guys looking at?
Ross: Uh-huh, Carol, so were we. All right, just-just imagine for a moment, Susan meets someone and-and they really hit it off. Yknow? Say-say theyre coming back from the theatre, and they-they stop at a pub for a couple of drinks, theyre laughing, yknow, someone innocently touches someone else Theres electricity, its new. Its exciting. Are you telling me there isnt even the slightest possibility of something happening?
Rachel: Okay, whos next?! (She looks around the room, and stops when she comes to Ross.)
Ross: (entering with a pizza and beer) Hey!
Ross: Oh sure. (He sits on the apothecary table and touches her hand.)
Ross: Wow! It actually is in the handbook. I cant date you or have a hot plate in my office. I cant believe we have to stop seeing each other.
Ross: Rach, we gotta go.
Ross: Fine! Fine! Yknow what? Whatever you want. Okay? Youre the mommy.
Rachel: Ross.
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Uh-huh.
Ross: Wow!
Ross: Not even, say, breaking up with Janice?
Joey: So, Ross and Rachel got married, Monica and Chandler almost got married, do you think you and I should hook up?
Ross: Mmm?
Rachel: (silently) Okay. (Pause) Seriously, breathe louder Ross! Thats great!