words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachels, Joey is at the counter eating a bowl of Frosted Flakes.]
Joey: (thinking) All right. Its a new day. All that stuff about Rachel, you dont feel that now. It was crazy! Youre fine. Youre better than fine! You are, as your friend Tony would say, Grrrreat! Everythings normal! Shes just your friend Rachel! Your friend Rachel. Your friend! Rachel.
Joey: (thinking) Hey, its your girlfriend, Rachel!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Chandler is sitting on the couch watching TV as Monica comes out of the bathroom.]
Chandler: Honey, its not the bath I enjoy, its the wet, naked lady.
Chandler: Honey, its 2:00 on a Wednesday and Im watching Road Rules, how stressed do you think I am?
Chandler: Oh my God, whats up?!
Joey: I dont know. Its-its just lately, Ive been feeling Okay, heres what it is (Pause) You know what? I feel a lot better, thanks! (Starts to leave)
Joey: All right. Okay. You and Monica, friends for a long time, and sure there are rules, but then you went to London. Oh, no, but thats different. I mean, there are rules there, too! You know what I mean?
Rachel: Hi! Oh, Ross, dont forget, we have that doctors appointment tomorrow!
Ross: No-no, we talked about it. We dont want to know. All we care about is that its happy and healthy.
Phoebe: Uh huh! If its a girl, Phoebe, and if its a boy, Phoebo!
Rachel: Okay! I was thinking if its a girl, how about Sandrine? Its French.
Ross: Huh. Thats a really pretty name for-for an industrial solvent.
Ross: Well, OK, its for a boy. Well, I know its a little out there, but Darwin.
Rachel: Yeah! I dont think youre going to need it though. Okay, check this out. If its a girl, Rain.
Rachel: But only if its a girl.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Monica comes from the bathroom as Chandler enters.]
Monica: No, but someones really not going to get over that idea, are they?
Monica: Please, could you just try it for me? Come on, I used all my best stuff! I-I-I lit some candles. I put on some music. I used bath salts, plus bubble bath! And got you this little plastic Navy ship. So its a boy bath!
Monica: Bet I know how that discussions going to go.
[Scene: The Doctors Office, the doctor is writing something as Rachel is on the table, and Ross is standing.]
Rachel: But you have it right there in that file? You could tell us whether its a boy or a girl? Dayton or Sandrine? Phoebe or Phoebo?
Dr. Long: Thats right. But if you dont want to know
Dr. Long: (looks at her beeping pager) Oh, Ill be right back. And, uh, I know its really not my place, but please dont name your child Phoebo.
Ross: What? Rach! Come on, thats terrible! Theyre uh theyre babies. Theyre-theyre all beautiful.
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas, Monica is entering.]
Chandler: Im in the bathroom, can you come in here? I think theres something wrong.
Monica: Oh. (She goes into the bathroom.) Whats wrong?
Chandler: I drew my own bath, but I did it wrong! The waters tepid. The salt didnt dissolve and is now lodged places. And the scents I used dont compliment each other. Eucalyptus and chamomileOh!
Chandler: The bath salts! Theyre starting to effervesce! Its different. (Pause) Its interesting.
Monica: Okay, lets talk about something else.
Chandler: All right, lets break this down. What exactly did he say to you?
Monica: Just a minute! (To Chandler) Thats Mrs. Tribbiani!
Monica: Its a humdinger!
Phoebe: Then its really too bad that you cant tell me.
Monica: Its Joey!
Phoebe: Sure, yeah. I mean, its Joey. I dont want him to get hurt. Well, I must say, I am on fire! First Chandler, now Joey!
Ross: Rach, I-I cant tell you how-how much that means to me! Ohh Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You-you hated the name Ruth! Why-why would you change your mind? Unless, you know were never going to have to use it. You did see the folder. You know its a boy!
Ross: I dont think so! Youre just giving me Ruth so youll get to name it when its a boy, and thats when youll swoop in and name him Heath or Blaine or Sequoia.
[Scene: Rachel and Joeys, Joey is sitting on his recliner as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: Hey. Well, whats up?
Phoebe: Yes, and Im sorry. I-I know things worked out for Chandler and Monica, but thats very rare.
Joey: I know. I know. And this is so much more complicated than it was for those guys. I mean, its Rachel for God sakes.
Phoebe: For God sakes, its Rachel!
Joey: I know. I know. And shes not only my friend; shes my pregnant friend! Shes my pregnant friend whos Ross ex!
Phoebe: Yeah thats Rachel. (To herself) Beat me over the head with it.
Joey: She made me switch to light Mayo. Thats it! Thats all I got! And, you know what? It tastes the same and my pants fit better!
Joey: Yeah, just a crush! Thats all this is! Its a crush! Im Joey; I dont get deep feelings.
Phoebe: Thats right, there you go! Crushes happen all the time! I know Ive had them for all you guys. Well, except for Ross and Chandler. And Im sure youve had them for us.
Ross: Thats right. The student has become the master.
Ross: Oh, come on, you know its a girl!
Rachel: Thats what you just said!
Rachel: Im not! Were having a girl! Sometimes I cant believe its with youBut still! Were having a girl!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Chandler enters as Monica comes from the bathroom.]
Chandler: Oh, its so hard to care when youre this relaxed.
Monica: She pulled it out of me! Shes like a conversational wizard! Howd it go?
Chandler: (sarcastically) Because its a relaxing and enjoyable time!
Monica: Oh my God! A friend hes looking at differently, but its wrong. Its Rachel!
Joey: Its no big deal, okay? Phoebe and I talked about it. Its just a crush! Its going to go away! (Looks down) Dude, you gotta rearrange your bubbles! Oh!
Ross: (entering) Well hey! Whats going on? Ooh, cool boat(Sees why the boats there)Oh, no. (Averts his eyes by looking around the room) (To Rachel) Hey, did you, did you tell them?
[Scene: Joey and Rachels, Joey is sitting at the counter eating Cocoa Puffs.]
Joey: (thinking) All right. Its a new day, and its just a crush, thats all! Just a little crush! All that worrying I was doing, that was crazy. Crazy! Like my friend here the bird would say, "it was cuckoo!" Everythings going to be fine. Its just a crush.
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas bathroom. Both are sitting on opposite ends of the bathtub.]
Monica: Its the salts.
Ross: Thats, thats, thats a big candy bar. (Shes holding one of those huge Toblerone bars.) I had the most amazing time with you.
Fran: Think she got fired at Riffs?
Phoebe: No-no, oh, Im fine with the age thing y'know, until it starts sticking its tongue down my little brothers throat!
Phoebe: Eww! Oh, its all dirty. You should throw this out.
(Basically Chandlers face looks like hes not all there and is staring off into the distance )
The Vendor: Hes just jealous. Youll fit right in; all Londoners wear them!
Joey: Yeah uh, Phoebe! Look umm, I want to apologize about before, okay? We were being jerks. Parkers a nice guy and Id like to get to know him.
Joey: You know what I want? I want a lot of things! I want to be with the woman I love on Valentines Day! And I want her to love me back! And I want just one moment of relief from the gut-wrenching pain of knowing that thats never going to happen!
Ross: Yknow, its interesting! Most people think thats made with seawater, when in fact
[Scene: The rest stop, Phoebes pulling in.]
Monica: We are going to Dick Clarks New Years Rocking Eve!
Jill: All right, Im leaving! Because Im not going to spend one more day with someone whose out to sabotage my every move. Thats you Rachel!
Phoebe: (leaning to him) She said, "Hes obviously still in love with this Rachel girl." (He glares at her.)
Joey: Whoa-whoa, that-that was just a theory! Theres a lot of theories that didnt pan out. The lone gunman. Communism. Geometry.
Monica: How are we gonna do that? Theres no way.
(Theres a knock on the door. The gang is stunned and Phoebe counts to make sure that everyone is there. Out of curiosity Chandler goes and answers the door.)
Joey: No! Forget it! OkayI mean thanks, but Im done taking money from you. All right, I can take of myself. Now, whats next? Come on.
Mr. Douglas: (Shutting the door, then pointing vaguely at Ninas shapely departure) Shes still here.
Monica: Oh, thats great! I mean Im-Im sorry, but Im so happy for you. And now I can work for you!
Joey: Oh well, hey, Joeys loveable too! But the thing about Joey is, if you need him, hell be there.
(Theres a knock on the door and Chandler answers it.)
Monica: I know its last minute, but we decided to have a Halloween party.
Courtney: Its amazing like all week long weve-weve been saying the same lines and then the audience is here and we will mess up, and if you mess up once, then youll get nervous because youllyou know youll probably mess up again.
Joey: Ah-ah-ah Mr. Smartie Pants, its just not my character thats not brain dead. Hey, so Pheebs, we still on for tonight?
Rachel: Oh Im sorry mummys so sorry go back to sleep go back to sleep. Shh. Shhh! Go back to sleep
(Joeys shocked and everyone else looks at Rachel.)
Phoebe: They give you away! Theres just-theres just too much wisdom in there. (Joey nods in agreement.) Just put some tea bags on there for like 15 minutes.
[Scene: Rachel and Barrys bedroom, Rachel is returning from her disastrous attempt at an affair to find that Barry was much, much more successful with his.]
Joey: Yeah-yeah, its down to me and two other guys.
[The next one is from Episode 322: The One With The Screamer, its the end of Joeys play.]
Hooker: Whats taking you boys so long?
Phoebe: No! Its nice!
Male Jeweler: This ring is from the 1920s, its a one and a half carat diamond with sapphires on either side.
Phoebe: Its me. Its Phoebe. Listen theres something in here I want to eat, what-what smells so good?
Joey: Thats it?! Even if nobody helps me I can eat that no problem. At least give me a challenge!
Ross: Well, yeah. I cant-I cant stay here all night, and if I go in there shes-shes gonna wanna... do stuff.
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, theyre returning from the party.]
Chandler: Well, look its been a really emotional time yknow, and youve had a lot to drink. And youve just got to let that go okay? I mean you were the most beautiful in the room tonight!
Rachel: No, I-I live with Phoebe. I mean youre [pity-tone] alone, alone. And I just-its just not the time for us. Im sorry.
Joey: (trying to act like hes not the one that stinks.) Whoa! Yeah, what the hell is that? What smells so bad?
Joey: Oh thats okay. Hey, actually in a way its kinda nice. Me, bringing the food of my ancestors, you, the food of yours!
Monica: Here. Ben, do you wanna play the airplane game, do you wanna show Rachel? Come here. (takes Ben) Were gonna do something fun. Okay. (throws Ben up in the air a little bit and catches him) Weee!! (moves into the living room and does it again) Weee!! (starts to walk back into the kitchen as she does it again, and hits Bens head on that wooden beam across the ceiling.)
Rachel: (ecstatic) Oh my God! Its Joey Tribbiani of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.!!!!!!!
[The next one is from Episode 224: The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding, Joey has to kiss a guy in an audition and has been trying to find one to practice with.]
(Chandler leans over to fall asleep on the mans shoulder next to him, only the man catches his attempt.)
Rachel: Yeah, but Mon thats totally different. He was youre health teacher.
Rachel: Well IThats never gonna happen with Ross.
[Scene: The Doctors office, Phoebe is giving a pep talk to the petrie dish containing the embryos.]
Phoebe: (To Ross) Kyles ex-wife? You were supposed to divert her not date her!
Monica: (laughs) Well thats the best part. Umm, you guys get to decide!
Joey: Okay. Thats good. Okay, that give you a couple hours to prepare what youre gonna say. Good. Yeah. (Someone comes out of his apartment and it startles Joey again.) Dont you people ever knock?!
Joey: Well whats complicated? You spin the Wheel of Mayhem to go up the Ladder of Chance. You go past the Mud Hut through the Rainbow Ring to get to the Golden Monkey; you yank his tail and boom! Youre in Paradise Pond!
Chandler: Buh-bye. (Hangs up the phone) I just got us reservations at Michelles and tickets to the Musicman to celebrate our first holiday season as a betroughed couple.
Rachel: No, we didnt get married! Thats ridiculous!
Monica: Were going to Las Vegas to see your dad. Its time you two talked, and I want to get to know my father-in-law.
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is still dressing Joshua. He is trying on a pair of pants.]
Mr. Treeger:: Yeah, but yknow, I think the reason were not getting that spin right is because my apartments too small.
Monica's Boyfriend: Can anyone else name a well known seed thats been masquerading as a nut?
[Inside Monica and Chandlers. Joey is almost done explaining the situation to everyone.]
Rachel: Its good. Except he makes us watch the Discovery Channel all day long. Did you know that something really boring happened to someone really ugly in the Middle Ages? (to the waitress handing her a cup of coffee) Oh, thank you. Ill see you guys later.
Rachel: We just uh, we just met at the newsstand. We both grabbed for the last Field & Stream. (Chandlers shocked.) What? I read that.
Joey: Its the Knicks!
Joey: Yeah but its too much stuff. You know like, you got the candles and the foofy schmoofer thing here and over here you got a picture of a watering can.
[Scene: Phoebes hospital room, Joey and Ross enter as Phoebe comes out of the bathroom wearing her robe.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe’s reading, Joey has just entered the room]
Joey: I know! I know its awful.
Monica: Nobody cares about the Dakotas. (Thats true in so many ways, trust me, Ive lived in one and been to the other.)
Rachel: Oh. Oh yeah, dont get to worked up over it. I mean it-it sounds like hes a doctor, but hes not.
Ross: I am the guy who�s taking care of our baby while you�re out at bars meeting guys!
Rachel: Well, I gotta get up early and its almost seven oclock.
Chandler: All right, theres a nuclear holocaust, Im the last man on Earth. Would you go out with me?
Phoebe: Well, he may not be my soul mate, but a girls gotta eat.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its after Ross and Joeys talk with Frank, and Phoebes is finding out what happened.]
Monica: And everybody has to wear costumes. (And theres general disconcertment.) Come on! Itll be fun!
Ross: Okay. (goes over to the counter) (to Chandler) What ah, what is the matter with you? Whats going on?
Cassie: (hugs him) Its been so long! Last time I saw you, you were setting up your tent in line to see Return of the Jedi.
Rachel: Okay, its not Relaxi Cab. Its Relaxicab, like taxicab.
Rachel: We have to have a surprise Bon Voyage party for Emily. But its actually for Joshua. (Starts handing out party hats.) Look, he said hes not ready to date, so I had to invite him to a party if I wanted to see him outside of work, and now I have the perfect opportunity to seduce him! (Hands Ross a party hat.)
Rachel: Really! God Ross, what were you thinking? (To Phoebe, quietly) I know its really shallow, but a part of me wants him again.
Ross: Yeah, but it didnt fit. Well, luckily theres a store here that has one left in her size, but Im the groom, Im not supposed to see the dress
Joey: I know! Thats why we got to find Monica!! You know where she is?
Jessica Lockhart: Whats the matter Dina? Dont you recognize your own (Does a hair flip) mother?!
Ross: Thats correct! This is an audio question, what do you do when the baby makes this sound? (Makes a sound like someone is choking a cat.)
Chandler: We are. Hes meeting us here.
Chandler: Yeah okay. Well, whats the next little bit?
Ross: Carol, honey, shhh, shhh, everythings gonna be alright.
Monica: Phoebe, its okay. You dont have to tip toe around me. I-Ive been thinking about it and umm, yknow what? Im okay about not having that new relationship feeling
Dr. Green: So! (they both try to sit next to Rachel but Dr. Green is successful.) (to Ross) Hows the library?
Chandler: Ohh, thats a good one.
Sophie: Maybe hes intimated by really smart, strong, successful women.
[Scene: Rosss birthday, night has fallen and Joey and Ross are walking by where his car is parked to find that both cars blocking him in have left.]
Emily: Oh, theres tonnes of terrific stuffIll go with you!
Melissa: So last I heard you were gonna get married. (Grabs Rachels hand and notices that she doesnt have a ring on it.) (Sadly) Oh poor Ray-ray.
Phoebe: Well, but thats what he was for me. And she you know, kind of stole him away, and then... broke his heart... and then he wouldnt even talk to me any more. Because he said he didnt wanna be around... anything that looked like either one of us.
Joey: (still looking in date book) Hey! Thats the day after I stop menstruating! (They all look at him.) This isnt mine.
Joanna: Knowing youre here, waiting for me I think its kinda exciting.
Phoebe: (sips it) Its so good. (Monica and Rachel breath a sigh of relief.) Oh, thanks.
Phoebe: Yeah! No, thats right. And I thought it was a really good idea.
Rachel: Im fine, but thats not important. Whats important is how was she?
Phoebe: Theres a skylight?! (Runs to see and yells from the bedroom.) Wow!!