words in movies
Joey: Theres this woman, that I like. A lot. Well, its complicated. Shes with this other guy. For a long time. And I could never do that to the guy, yknow? Ccause were really good friends.
Joey: Yeah, hes the best.
Ross: Joey, its worth finding out. I mean, if you really like her.
Joey: Its Rachel.
Ross: (closes the door) Did you umIm sorry, did you just say its Rachel?
Joey: Yeah, but its not a big deal.
Ross: Its not a big deal? Oh, Im sorry I just um, I what about all the stuff you-you just said? I mean how about, I likeyou-you cant stop thinking about her. Like how you cant sleep?
Ross: Rachel whos carrying my baby? Rachel?
Joey: Look no, I-I know its bad, and I know its wrong. Okay? But-but its not like anythings ever gonna happen. Yknow? These-these are just feelings, theyre gonna go away.
Rachel: Oh-oh! Okay, shes kicking!
Chandler: Oh! (Puts his hand on her belly.) Shes growing inside you.
Chandler: I think thats the youngest girl ever to reject me.
Rachel: Oh yes I do. I do. I believe that there is one perfect person out there for everyone. And do you know how you find him? You stop looking for him. Thats why I stopped looking for Russell Crowe. Hell find me.
Phoebe: Well last night, I met Monicas.
Chandler: Come on, dont be crazy. (To Rachel) You dont think theres someone out there better suited for Monica than me, do ya? (Rachel looks at him.)
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Well, whats he like?!
Phoebe: Well hes tall.
Phoebe: Obviously, and hes British.
Phoebe: Yeah? And, hes-hes so centered and mature and confident.
Rachel: Oh, its so sad they never had a chance to meet.
Phoebe: Well, he may not be my soul mate, but a girls gotta eat.
Ross: Oh yknow, I stillI cant believe it. Joey and Rachel I mean its Its like you and me going out, only weirder!
Monica: Honey, I dont think thats something we need to worry about! First of all hes-hes never gonna tell her how he feels about her. And even if he did you have no idea how shed react.
Ross: Sure, because women never like Joey. Yknow, I think hes a virgin.
Monica: Joey hes not even thinking about going after Rachel!
Ross: Hes not?
Monica: No! All hes thinking about is how youre taking this! I mean, listen its totally freaking him out. Hes talking about moving to Vermont.
Ross: Hate him? I No, I dont hate him. (Pause) Its just its Rachel, yknow?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are on the couch as Phoebe enters with Monicas soul mate.]
Don: Oh, hello. (Shakes Chandlers hand.) Hello. (Shakes Monicas hand.)
Don: Thats exactly what I said. Phoebe, isnt that strange.
Chandler: Whats wrong with sun-dried tomatoes? (Everyone stares at him.) On a barbecue chicken pizza? (Still theres staring.) No?
Don: Well, Octavio, 27&7Oh! And theres this great little place, Alessandros.
Monica: Oh my God! Thats my restaurant, Im the chef there.
Phoebe: Theyre just talking, and yknow what? Just because I think theyre soul mates doesnt mean anythings gonna happen.
Monica: Yeah! Oh hes great, I love him. (Walks away and Chandler glares at Phoebe.)
[Scene: Joeys Apartment, theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it to Ross.]
Joey: Anyway, it uh look itll just take me a while to get over her, thats all. Im not even sure how to do that, I mean Ive never been in love before so
Joey: Okay thats the green stuff talkin.
Ross: No, Im serious. You-you need to find out where she is, because if shes not where you are, then you can start to move past this.
Ross: Yeah. Look if-if shes gonna end up with somebody else, the truth is she couldnt find a better guy. So
Ross: Im understanding, but lets not get carried away.
Chandler: Cheese you say? Thats some pretty smelly work, huh Don?
Chandler: Cheese, its smelly. You must smell a lot of the time too.
Monica: You know what Id love to do? I would like to go to France and eat nothing but bread and cheeseNot even bread, just cheese. No, I want the bread. Yeah. Ah, and pastries (Breathlessly) And pate. Oh, Im really not high, its just I used to be fat.
Rachel: Joey? Whats up?
Rachel: Okay whats up?
Joey: Okay umm, I just came by to tell you that I want to have dinner with you tonight. Thats all.
Joey: Okay. Thats good. Okay, that give you a couple hours to prepare what youre gonna say. Good. Yeah. (Someone comes out of his apartment and it startles Joey again.) Dont you people ever knock?!
Monica: All right, whats going on?
Rachel: and I know Chandler is kidding but it happens every time he touches my stomach. I mean Im really worried the babys not going to like him. (Joey is staring at the table.) Are you okay?
Waiter: Sure. Sure. (Turns away, then turns back) Seconds up! (Joey glares at him.) Not that kind of table. (He walks away.)
Rachel: (looking around) Who are you talking too? Oh, youre kidding! Oh, its a joke! (Laughs.) Its funny. Its funny. I dont get it. (Joey doesnt say any thing and Rachel realizes its not a joke.) Oh. (Pause) Okay. Umm I-I uh, wow. Are you uh How did umm When?
Joey: Yeah-yeah right. Thats okay. Thats fine. Thats uh, pretty much what I was expecting. So uh, its no big deal. All right? I think Im gonna go. (Stands up.)
Waiter No. 2: Whats the matter with them?
Waiter: I dont know. I think maybe one of them is dying. (Pause) I kinda hope its the girl. (The other waiter is shocked.) The guy is really cute!
Phoebe: (on phone) Hi! Yeah, Im calling on behalf of Monica Gellers eye, and is um, is Richard Burke in today. (Listens) (to Monica) Hes out of town, but does she want to see the on-call doctor?
Morse: You see, thats why I did so bad on this test. Im having a hard time concentrating. When youre up there (Points to the podium) and youre teaching and your face gets all serious you look so good. (In a sexy voice) You wear that tight little turtleneck sweater
Phoebe: Yeah. And believe me, this suit does not do justice to whats underneath it.
Joeys Sister: Finally, I thought wed never be alone. Can I just tell you something, I have not stopped thinking about you since the party. (kisses him)
Ross: So, do we really have to ask whos going up on the platform next?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is holding a football helmet; and apparently, in a rather disgusting scene, Joey wants Phoebe to beat him senseless. (Luckily it isnt a long trip.) Because hes made a miraculous recovery from his hernia and wants to take advantage of all those free surgeries he can get now since hes re-established his health insurance.]
Monica: Its a humdinger!
Ross: Actually this looks like pretty good! Yeah!(he turns and watches his back and there’s a sign on the back of the jacket, “boys will be boys”) Boys will be boys?
[Cut to Chandler and Joeys, Joey and Phoebe are watching TV. The TV is turning off and on, and each time Phoebe is blinking her eyes like the Genie did. The switch obviously controls the outlet which the TV is plugged into.]
Ross: Look this is starting to look really bad for me. Okay? Mona, Monas standing right over there. (Looks behind him.) Oh God, shes talking to Joey! You gotta let me win!
Cecilia: Youre not the fan whos dying are you?
Monica: Hey, its Phoebe and Rachel. Um, why dont you tell them what you were telling me earlier about me not being high maintenance?
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait a minute, you dont like the guy Rachels dating? Well, thats odd.
[Scene: Rachels office, shes there as Tag knocks on the door and enters carrying a plant.]
Joey: Its pretty, Okay date of birth?
[Scene: The corridor. Amy knocks Joey’s door and Rachel opens the door.]
Pete: Its time for me to conquer the physical world.
Chandler: Okay now it doesnt matter which one you choose, yknow? Its completely up to you. Our guy is perfect, or you can go out with the guy Phoebe deemed not good enough to go out with herself.
[This starts another series of flashbacks about Joeys hobbies. The first one is from Episode 703: The One With Phoebes Cookies, Rachel is teaching Joey how to sail his boat, the Mr. Bowmont.]
Joey: I dont know. Its-its just lately, Ive been feeling Okay, heres what it is (Pause) You know what? I feel a lot better, thanks! (Starts to leave)
Phoebe: No, yeah, we never find them! Shes always best at us that wily minx.
Joey: Hey, whats up? (He has solved the problem of eating the steak, hes eating it with his hands.)
Ross: Laugh it up, but the jokes on you. Because we dont need to get divorced, okay? We were just gonna get an annulment.
Ross: No! No its not. Joey, this is a smart idea.
Joey: So I uh, I just talked to the director. Thats it, were done for the day.
Mrs. Geller: (whispers to Jack a little loudly) I think hes stoned again.
Ross: Its just I always thought when I had another kid it would be different. Now I-I love Ben, but every time I have to drop him off at Carol and Susans, its likeIt breaks my heart a little. I mean Ive always had this picture of me and my next wife in bed on Sunday and, my kid comes running in and leaps up onto the bed. And we all read the paper together. Yknow? Maybe fight over the science section.
Phoebe: Oh, its incredible! I so want to be a Waxine girl.
Chandler: Oh its been going on way to long now. Yknow, I mean the first time he said it we were just passing each other in the hallway, so I didnt say anything. And then the next time he said, "Hey Toby, do you want a donut?" And I-I wanted a donut. And now its five years later, the donuts gone and Im still Toby.
Ross: Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldnt be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monicas older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down, and kick your ass! (Chandler laughs.) What? Im-Im-Im serious! (Chandler laughs harder.) ComeHey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? Im-Im not kidding here!
Monica: Okay. Phoebe thats it. Come on, get outout of the chair. Get out! (She goes to move Phoebe, but Phoebe goes limp and Monica cant move her.) Oh come Phoebe!
Chandler: We share a wall! So either hes great in bed, or she just likes to agree with him a lot.
Phoebe: Well, yknow Im wearing layers and its warm.
Phoebe: Thats nice. I like having things to read in the bathroom.
Phoebe: You think hes emotionally unavailable?
Chandler: Look, shes really nice. Okay? And she mentioned that she adored the way that you arranged the sponges.
Joey: (to Kate) That guys like a cartoon. What do you see in him anyway?
Ross: Well I, thats the thing, I dont know! I mean, whenever I brought it up with her she said, (In a British accent.) "This is so fantastic! Why do we have to talk about the future? Lets just enjoy "
Phoebe: (on phone) Hi, this Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies, can I speak to your supply manager please? (Listens) Earl, thanks. (Listens) Hi Earl, this is Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies Id like to talk to you about your toner needs. (Shes reading from the script.)
Monica: Okay, weve been out here for two hours and we havent seen any stupid comets. Can we go now? I mean, Chandlers getting chilly. (She walks over to where Chandler is bundled up in a big coat and shivering.)
Ross: Well, I lost. Some little girl loaned her uniform to her nineteen year old sister, who went down to the U.S.S. Nimitz, and sold over 2,000 boxes.
Monica: In one year?! My God what did she eat? Her-her family! Thats not the point.
Julie: Well, if you like you can feel Rachels and then feel mine to compare.
Phoebe and Rachel: 32. (Joeys not buying it.)
Phoebe: Youre thinking about this way too much. Just tell him and get it over with. Its like, its like ripping off this Band-Aid. (On her arm) Quick and painless, watch. (Rips it off.) Oh mother of See?
Richard: (outside the bedroom) Really?! Well, its just like everyone elses apartment. Its got rooms, walls, and ceilings.
Phoebe: HeyOoh, hows Hilda? Is she working out?
Ross: Im-Im sure thats not true.
Phoebe: All right so Earl, lets just forget about the people at the office, okay? There-theres gotta be someone else in your life worth sticking around for! What about-what about your family, your friends, or maybe your girlfriend?
Joey: (groans in disgust) Wow, its really long.
Joey: Thats ridiculous! Im not a "Star," just a regular famous actor.
Phoebe: Well maybe you dont talk about your feelings back then. Maybe you just say something about yknow all the things that hes taught you. Like (They all try to think about one example and dont succeed.) Or all the things you taught him.
Joey: (looking out the window) Ewww! Ugly Naked Guy is using his new hammock. Its like a Play-Doo Fat Factory.
TV Announcer: Pete Becker is circling the ring now. It looks like, hes just trying to feel him out. Oh, Bruiser is just...
(She goes out into the hall and when shes there and the door is closed; she rips off her robe to reveal her work clothes.)
Monica: Thats right! Maybe its time you took a good hard look at a mirror young lady old lady lady!
Joey: Rachel, there you are! Come on, lets serve that dessert already!
Rachel: Well yknow what they say, the 23rd times the charm. (Chandler enters.) Aww, look at you all handsome!
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is preparing to slip Joshua the note.]
Richard: No its not too soon, I had lunch at a eleven.
Phoebe: Yes!! Yes! Yes! Yes!! Thats my Dad, thats Frank! Yeah! Im sorry Im getting all flingy.
Rachel: Ohh! Its so nice to meet you. (She goes over and shakes their hands.) Hello.
Ross: (yelling in pain) I know nothing! Mike’s a great guy, it was hypothetical!
Ross: Monica said that did she? (He squeezes Monicas knee really hardly and Monica winces in pain.)
Chandler: No. He.....hes coming out of his shorts.
Chandler: Im only going to pretend Im moving to Yemen, its the only way I can get rid off her.
Phoebe: Well, lets see, its not. Really, like that. Because, you see that was an actual problem, and uh, yours is just like yknow a bunch of yknow high school crap that nobody really gives yknow
Ross: Fine, youre right. Lets ah, lets take a break, (goes to the door) lets cool off, okay, lets get some frozen yoghurt, or something.. (opens the door)
Monica: (telling Chandler the seating arrangement) Okay so this is where the band is. (Points.) And this is where the bar is. (Points) And all these pins have peoples names on them. (She has pins to show the seating at each of the tables.) And Rach, here you are. (Points to Rachels place.)
Ross: Oh my God! Of course, of course. (To the class.) Umm, would you please excuse me for a moment? Umm, do you know each others hometowns? Why dont you (Motions that they should learn everyones hometown.) (To Phoebe) Wh-whats going on?
Mona: Change of plans, I made you a special Valentines dinner! Surprise!
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, Rachel is entering carrying two glasses of wine. She gives one to Phoebe, keeps one, and completely ignores Monica.]
Chandler: (incredulous) I dont know what thats like?! Up until I was 25 I thought the only response to, "I love you," was, "Oh crap!"
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Hold on please. Joey, its your mom. (Hands him the phone.)
[Time Lapse, the babies are finally asleep. Good for Phoebe! The only problem is, Monicas apartment looks like a tornado, a hurricane, a swarm of locusts, fire, brimstone, hail, and giant man-eating, radioactive ants have torn the place apart. Needless to say, its messy enough to cause Monica to die of shock right away. Parents with small children know what Im talking about.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Joey is telling everyone about his impending termination at Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.]
Joey: (looks at the ground and at Ross) I dont know Ross! I-I tell you what, lets flip to see who does it, okay? You-you call it in the air, all right?
Monica: Its a dead dog. Thats Chi-Chi; she died when I was in high school.
Joey: (on machine) Hey Ross. Its Joey. Theres a hooker over here and we thought maybe youd know something about it.
Phoebe: Yeah, she clamed she had to go out of town suddenly. Shes avoiding me, she doesnt want to tell me where my Father is. She knows, and she wont tell me.
[Scene: Joey and Janines, Joey and Ross are playing Sony Playstation. Chandler enters.]
Rachel: You know the book says that whenever shes sleeping I should be sleeping so (She gives Monica thumbs and goes to lay down)
Joey: And while were down at the video store, you know what else we could rent? Die Hard! (Chandlers excited.) Oh, yknow what? I just remembered, that Everest thing is only available through mail order.
[cut to Joeys bedroom, Joey and Kate are emerging from under the covers.]
Jessica Lockhart: (crying) Oh, my baby! (Hugs Dina, but moves Dinas head to her other shoulder so that shes the only one in the picture.)
Ross: No, its not just cause Im jealous. (Both Monica and Chandler give him a Come on look) I mean Im not, Im not, Im not jealous, okay? Its Look, the guy, he screamed, he actually screamed at this couple sitting in our seats.
[Scene: A restaurant. Joey is on his date with Phoebe’s friend, Sarah. They are sitting opposite each other on a table for two. Their waiter approaches with two plates.]
Monica: Actually there is. Chandler usually helps me with this, but hes really into the game so I dont want to bother him. Could you help me fold these napkins? (Hands her a stack of them.)
Rachel: Oh okay, Ill fix that to. Whats her e-mail address?
Ross: So your dad dropped by. Hes a pleasant man!
Joey: Well if its free food, how come youre charging me for it?
[Scene: A womens self-defense class, the instructor is just finishing a class.]
(Matt grabs his plate and takes some of whats on Rosss plate.)
Joey: Oh, cause you can just match the evaluation to the exam with the same handwriting and boom, theres your admirer. (Ross is stunned.)
Joey: (announcer voice) All right! Lets play Bamboozled!
Chandler: But this is eleven. Its almost twice as hard up here.
Joey: Uhh, thats not them. Im gonna go call the police.
Chandler: Oh! Right. Umm, maybe thats because I didnt send him an invitation.
Rachel: Oh, I know, I know, its-its so, its so totally like, "Whoa! Can we do this?" Yknow, I mean, but I mean it just feels right! Dont you think? It does! I mean, it just feels right, dont you think?
[Scene: Joey and Janines, Joey is pacing around as Chandler and Monica enter.]