words in movies
Chandler: Whats the matter honey?
Monica: I dont know, my hand feels weird. I guess its because, Im engaged! (Shows off the ring.) How long before it starts getting annoying?
Rachel: Yeah, so lets get started on the wedding plans!
Chandler: What in Gods name is that?!
Ross: And that should conclusively prove that I had the idea for Jurassic Park first! Now lets take a look at (Phoebe rushes in.)
Phoebe: I need to talk to you, its pretty urgent. Its about Monica and Chandler.
Ross: Oh my God! Of course, of course. (To the class.) Umm, would you please excuse me for a moment? Umm, do you know each others hometowns? Why dont you (Motions that they should learn everyones hometown.) (To Phoebe) Wh-whats going on?
Ross: Umm, okay, yeah, sure. But wh-whats wrong with Monica and Chandler?
Chandler: Well, you couldnt get them anyway. Ian doesnt plan anymore and Derrick (Off of Rachel and Monicas looks) And Derrick is a name I shouldnt know.
Monica: Oh my God! Its like one mind.
[Cut to Joey and Rachels, Joey enters and heads for his bedroom. He pushes open the door to find the duck.]
Joey: Hey little buddy, how are you feeling? (The duck does not get sick and Joey recoils in horror and heads for the couch.) What the hell is in that face cream? (Hes about to try out the couch but notices the bed in Rachels room. He walks into her room and feels the bed.) Thats so soft. (He pulls back the comforter.) Pillowcases! (He climbs in and groans in delight. Suddenly, he feels something under him and pulls out a little beat up paperback book. He opens it and starts to read from it.) (In his head.) Zelda looked at the chimney sweep. Her father, the vicar (Stops reading and thinks.) The vicar? (Continues reading) wouldnt be home for hours. Her loins were burning. She threw caution to the wind and reached out and grabbed his (Out loud.) Whoa! (Reads on in silence.) Whoa-ho-ho-ho! This is a dirty book! (Continues to read.)
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Phoebe has moved in and has a massage client on her table shes set up in the living room. Ross enters and is shocked to see a naked man lying on the table.]
Phoebe: Okay, lets talk outside.
Phoebe: Whats the big deal? I did it at Monica and Chandlers!
Rachel: Hey-hey, yknow what? I dont care! Im not ashamed of my book. Theres nothing with a woman enjoying a little erotica. Its just a healthy expression of female sexuality, which by the way, you will never understand. (She goes into her room.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is coming out of the living room carrying his salad and a puzzlebeer! Cold beer. And he decides to fold up Phoebes massage table, but being Ross has trouble with it as there is a knock on the door. He sets the table back up and opens the door to reveal a beautiful woman.]
Ross: Uh no-no, she-shes out for the night.
Ross: Okay! Now, Im going to touch you. (He does so, very gingerly.) Ohh, thats soft. (He starts poking him and notices his salad spoons and starts to massage him with those.)
Chandler: I dont know, my mother spent most of her money on her fourth wedding. Shes saving the rest for her divorce. And any extra cash my father has he saves for his yearly trips to (Pause) Dollywood.
Rachel: Wait, but theres no money! Well this is terrible! You guys are gonna have to get married in like a, rec. center!
Chandler: Honey, its gonna be okay.
Monica: No! No its not! Its not gonna be okay! It sucks! No swing band! No lilies!
Rachel: No, yknow what? Its gonna be okay. I mean you dont have to have this rustic Italian feast. Yknow? And-and you dont need, you dont need this custom-made, empire waisted, duchess, satin gown; you can wear off the rack. (She starts to cry, as does Monica.)
Monica: Its enough for wedding scenario eight.
Joey: No-no-no, Im serious. You dont smell it? Somethings on fire.
Joey: Oh, yknow what? Its probably just your burnin loins.
Ross: (takes a drink) Damn, this coffees cold! Hey Rach, do you mind if I heat this up on your loins? (Joey and he both laugh.)
Phoebe: Well, hes never coming back! Okay? You just cost me eight dollars a week!
Phoebe: Oh, its my fault?! You didnt have to massage him! You couldve sent him away! You couldve not rolled Tonka trucks up and down his back!
Monica: Listen umm, Ive been thinking, its not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.
Chandler: Yeah, Im putting my foot down. Yeah look, when I proposed I told you that I would do anything to make you happy, and if having the perfect wedding makes you happy then, then thats what were gonna do.
Chandler: Well, stuff like whered we live, yknow? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Yknow, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, wed have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.
Rachel: (sarcastically) Yeah. Look Joey, its enough all right?! You keep making these stupid jokes and this sleazy innuendoes and itsIm notits just not funny anymore!
Rachel: All right! Yknow what? Thats it! You wanna do it?! Lets do it!
Rachel: (starting to move closer to him) Thats right, I wanna do it with you! Ive been trying to fight it, but you just said all the right things.
Rachel: Yeah thats right! Come on Joey; sex me up!
Joey: Hey-hey, youre startin to sound like the butchers wife there in-in chapter seven.
Monica: Oh God! Hes gonna come by and borrow some candles for his big date!
Phoebe: I hope its you.
Joey: (shocked) I can do an English accent?! That babys going on my resume!
Joey: Well, I sorta am. I mean yeah, Im dating this girl whos also seeing another guy. But, I dont know, Im not to worried about it.
Monica: Yeah thats right.
Phoebe: But, lets play this one first. And remember whoever talks first loses!
Rachel: Yeah thats actually a pretty good idea.
Rachel: Great! Monicas moving!
Ross: But hey, its not just me, I mean the scientists and the tour guides never sit together.
Phoebe: Oh! Well, if thats what you want
Ross: Its also a sign of friendship.
Emily: (Yelling from inside the bathroom) Youve spoiled everything! Its like a nightmare! My friends and family are out there! How can I face them?! How can you do this to me?!
Chandler: Thats sweet.
[Scene: Phoebes cab, shes driving, Joeys in the back seat, and the hitchhiker is riding up front with Phoebe.]
Ross: (in a 5 year olds tone) (To Monica) You are such a tattletale! Mom, Dad, you remember that-that time you walked in my room and smelled marijuana?
Joey: Hey! Whats going on?
Joey: Oh its water under the bridge, forget it!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, (And thats the last time for that line, no more Chandler and Joeys or Monica and Rachels, ever!) Joey and Ross are carrying the last table of Rachels. Rachel follows slowly, but is stopped by Monica.]
Ross: Because its weird!
Monica: (entering and interrupting the guys escape attempt) Okay! The movers will be here in 11 hours. Rachel has not packed. Now, everybody has to help! Chandler, were gonna start with
Tag: All right then, its settled.
Ross: Uh okay, well theres-theres wine in the kitchen.
Rachel: its gonna be okay!
Phoebe: Oh, so this is all about money! Yknow its bad enough thatOw! Oh, you have got to be kidding!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is interviewing a potential roommate. And yes, shes a female, non-smoker and very non-ugly.]
Chandler: Okay, there are no famous Joeys. Except for, huh, Joey Buttafucco.
Ross and Joey: Oh! Thats nice.
Monica: Y'know if its any consolation, he really did sound like he was having more fun with you. (Rachel nods in agreement)
Joey: He said that he wasnt gonna apologize because you guys are living here illegally, so instead what hes gonna do is have you evictedIll see you later.
Monica: Its pretty clear.
Julie: Thats why you broke up with me?
Announcer: And his opponent, from Hunnington Beach, California! Hes a 300 pound street fighter, Tank Abbottttttt!!!!
Rachel: Why? Is he? He is! Isnt he? Hes dating that slut in marketing!
Chandler: So this is nice! I wish I didnt have to go, believe me! But unfortunately I have to. (He gets up and Joey moves over next to Ross.) Oh uh, by the way, whats the name the girl youre dating?
Rachel: Hmm. Do you thinkCould you tell me if shes hanging in, in a one bedroom or a two?
[Scene: Rachels Office, Tag is arriving as Rachel is standing there.]
Phoebe: Oh thats so sweet thanks.
Ross: Oh no-no, after you. (She grabs a chair and heads upstairs.) (When shes gone.) Oh my God! (He drops the box and Chandler cant pick it up.)
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe are there. Phoebes cell phone rings and she goes through her little routine of lighting a cigarette before answering the phone.]
Monica: (entering) Hey, whats going on?
Joey: (checks in the window to make sure it has them) Its got em!
Elizabeth: Oh. Well, so we have to hide our relationship from one more person. Big deal. Besides, its kinda fun hiding.
Kathy: Cute assistant! Whats his story? Is he
[cut back to Rachels bedroom with both of them hurriedly getting dressed]
Ross: What is Monicas biggest pet peeve?
Monica: I know!! (calls him) (on phone) Chip? Hi! Its Monica. (listens) Kay. (listens) Kay. (listens) Okay. (listens) Okay, good-bye. (hangs up) Oh my God, we just had the best conversation!! (goes into her room as Rachel enters)
Joeys Date: Hi!
Joeys Date: You must be Rachel, Im Erin.
Chandler: Wow thats actually pretty cool.
Joey: Why? (In Drakes voice.) Why cant the world stop turning, just for a moment? Just for us?
Phoebe: (Looking relieved. She puts down the phone.) Oh thank god. Oh, you changed your mind. Oh, look I know you probably want to be alone, and you dont want to talk about it, thats fine. I just want you to know, I think you are doing the right thing and...
The Colonel: OH MY GAWD!!!! (Yep, its Janice.)
Janice: So, whos the lucky guy?
Ross: Well, if hes angry, he really shouldnt just cover it up. I-I wish he would just tell me the truth.
Ross: What?! What is with everybody? Its Thanksgiving, not...Truth-Day!
Mrs. Geller: (pointing to herself and Jack) Well we left ours in Monicas bedroom.
Joey: Hey! Whats up?
Chandler: Well, the movie was great, dinner was great, and theres nothing like a cool, crisp New York evening.
Chandler: You cant just call Monicas room.
Chandler: Ahh, Hotties of the Paleontology Department, theres a big selling calendar, eh?
Rachel: Well now whats the rush?
Joey: Whos birthday party?
Erin: Whats wrong?
Rachel: Well look whos here!
Joey: Sounds great! Okay all right, well where does this go? (The lamp hes holding.)
Joey: Hey! Its my fashion girls! (They dont react.) Whats wrong?
Monica: Its actually going to be just family.
Erin: Yeah, lets go.
Joey: Thats right, all the ladies want to stay at Joeys.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's. Ross lays a lot off small papers, shaped like the U.S. states onto the floor making a map with the states. Phoebe enters]
Chandler: Its my joke.
Paul: Thats exactly what my dad used to say! (Starts to breakdown again.)
[Cut to Monica and Chandlers, Rachel is entering.]
Ross: Well sorry, thats what I do on dates.
[Scene: A judges chambers, Rachel and Ross are filing their annulment papers.]
Phoebe: I cant believe that! Now the only thing left of my grandmothers legacy is this crumb. (She picks it up with her finger and holds it out to Monica.) I wish you a long and happy marriage.
Phoebe: Thats right, you just enjoy.
Ross: (To Katie) Yeah, Im just gonna grab my coat. And uh, and my whip. (Katie looks worried.) Yknow because of the Indiana Jones? (Katie laughs) Not-not because Im-Im into S&M. (Katies worried again.) Im not-Im not into anything weird. Yknow? Just-just normal sex. (Katie is uncomfortable.) So, Im gonna grab my coat. (Does so, leaving Katie and Rachel alone.)
Doug: Bing! (Chandler stands bolt upright and turns around to face him.) Read your Computech proposal, a real homerun. (He goes to slap his butt, but Chandler slides over making him miss.) Ooh. Barely got ya that time, get over here. Come on. (Chandler goes over) Wham! (slaps him on the butt) Good one. That was a good one. (to a couple of Chandlers co-workers) Keep at it team. (goes into his office)
Joey: Well, maybe thats because youre closer to you. So you look bigger to you from where you are.
Rachel: YeahNo wait! Joey no wait it is. Its something. Its-its umm its my boss.
Elizabeth: No, its a water balloon fight! We started it!
Rachel: So hows it goin with Joey?
Joey: Yeah, lifes pretty great isnt it?
Monica: Yeah! Shes right in there! (Points to Phoebes room.)
Joey: I went back to Riffs. I think Ursula likes me. All I ordered was coffee, she brought me a tuna meltt and four plates of curly fries.
Ross: No thats not what I want. Uh, Im glad you guys were bonding but I
Kate: No, thats not it. So, youre a soap actor? Well this must be pretty exciting for you to be in a real play, hmm?
Monica: Oh yeah, whats the plan?
Waitress: Hey Monica, theres a customer who wants to complement the chef, should I let him in?
Rachel: (entering) Forgot my purse! (Sees them kissing.) Oh, you guys made up. (To Mona) Hes a good kisser isnt he? (Ross goes to close the door on her.) Im going! (Quickly leaves and Ross locks the door.)
Phoebe: (looking in the window) Right, oh yeah. Wow, oh, it looks like Ross is breaking up with her. Uff, I hope he lets her down easy. Lets go.
Monica: Joey, whats going on. What didnt you tell us you work here?
Ross: By the way, the week before your wedding you may not see a lot of me. (She glares at him and he quickly makes his way to Phoebes room.)
Melissa: Hey! Isnt that Tags backpack.
Joey and Chandler: Yeah, thats her.
Ross: Thats it, your doing great.
Tag: Thats kinda sad.
Rachel: Lets roll!
Ross: Hey, theres uh, some people outside, askin about candy.