words in movies
Phoebe: Well thats no way to sell newspapers. Why dont you try, "Extra! Extra! Read all about it!"
Ross: No, Monicas restaurant got a horrible review in the Post. (They all gasp.) I didnt want her to see it, so I ran around the neighborhood and bought all the copies I could find. (He hands the paper to Phoebe and they all read it.)
Rachel: Yeah but yknow what they say Mon, "Theres no such thing as bad press."
Monica: You dont think that umm, (reading) "The chefs Mahi Mahi was awful awful," is bad press?
Joey: Yeah! Yeah Monica! You listen to me, okay? And Im not just saying this because Im your friend, Im sayin it cause its the truth. Youre food is abysmal!
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, its late at night, Rachel is sitting on the couch in the dark wide-awake as Ross walks to the bathroom.]
Ross: Its funny you should mention diapers.
Ross: Okay look, theres nothing to worry about. We have plenty of time. Theres a great baby furniture store on west 10th. Tomorrow, we will go there and we will get you everything that you need. Okay?
Rachel: Okay. Thank you. Thats great. Thank you. Wait-wait! Where on west 10th? Because theres this really cute shoe store that has like this little
Chandler: And people say you dont pay attention. No, this is a much better job. Its vice-president of a company that does data reconfiguration and statistical factoring for other companies.
Chandler: Thats what I do now.
Monica: Remember that guy that gave me a bad review? Well (Feeds him a spoonful of what shes cooking.) Im getting my revenge!
Rachel: Oh yeah! Actually, thats one of the reasons why were not a couple.
Rachel: Oh. Oh yeah, dont get to worked up over it. I mean it-it sounds like hes a doctor, but hes not.
Cashier: (looking at the completed address card) Oh, I love your neighborhood. Theres a great gym right around the corner from your building.
Ross: Thats my gym.
Rachel: No! Im not! I-I-I just think its wrong! Its-its that ImHere I am about to pop and hes out picking up some shop girl at Sluts R Us!
Phoebe: Is that a real place? (Rachels stunned) Are they hiring?
Chandler: Well, I got a job interview. Its kinda a big deal too. Its a lot more money and Id be doing data reconfiguration and statistical factoring.
Phoebe: Well its just like youre trying too hard. Always making jokes, yknow, you justYou come off a little needy.
Monica: Hi! Umm, Im Monica Geller, Im the chef at Alessandros.
Joey: Thata girl! Huh? We should get out of here; theres a new class comin in.
The Cooking Teacher: Thats very good, whats your name?
Ross: My son? Pretty serious. (Theres a knock on the door and Ross answers it.) Oh hey Katie! (The cashier from before) What uh, what are you doing here?
Rachel: Horny bitch. (They both look at her, pretending that the dinosaurs shes holding are arguing.) No! Youre a horny bitch! Noooo! Youre the horny bitch! No! Youre a horny bitch!
Ross: (To Katie) Yeah, Im just gonna grab my coat. And uh, and my whip. (Katie looks worried.) Yknow because of the Indiana Jones? (Katie laughs) Not-not because Im-Im into S&M. (Katies worried again.) Im not-Im not into anything weird. Yknow? Just-just normal sex. (Katie is uncomfortable.) So, Im gonna grab my coat. (Does so, leaving Katie and Rachel alone.)
Phoebe: Oh! Its okay, you calm down after a while and then people can see how really sweet and wonderful you really are.
Phoebe: All right, all right, well just do our best. Okay? So lets say Im the interviewer and Im meeting you for the first time. Okay. "Hi! Come on in, Im uh, Regina Philange."
The Cooking Teacher: Okay. Lets move on.
The Cooking Teacher: (To Monica) Oh! Something smells good over at Monicas station! (She tries Monicas fettuccini.) Oh my God! This is absolutely amazing! Youve never made this before?
Monica: Oh no! I dont know anything about cooking. I had to ask someone what its called when the, when the water makes those little bubbles.
Monica: Thats right.
Phoebe: Um-hmm, thats good to know. But lets stop focusing on what you dont do, and start focusing on what you do do.
(The teacher goes to Joeys station.)
Monica: Excuse me? He doesnt even know what hes doing!
Monica: I do! Im a professional chef! (The class gasps.) Oh relax! Its not a courtroom drama!
Monica: Im-Im sorry, its just that umm Well I-I cook at this restaurant, Alessandros, and umm I just got a really bad review
The Cooking Teacher: Oh Alessandros! I love that place!
Joey: Hey-hey-hey, if my friend says its time to go, its time to go. (Starts to leave, but comes back for his cookies.)
Chandler: also I was the point person on my companys transition from the KL-5 to GR-6 system.
The Interviewer: So lets talk a little bit about your duties.
Chandler: Oh my God this doesnt count! Okay? The interview was over, that was the real Chandler Bing in there, this is just some crazy guy out in the hall! Call security! Theres a crazy guy out in the hall!
Rachel: Im fine, but thats not important. Whats important is how was she?
Ross: Whats uh, whats going on? Do you not, do you not like Katie?
Rachel: No! No, shesShe was nice. I mean, shes a little slutty, but who isnt?
Rachel: No! Its just that, Kate bothered me.
Ross: Okay, so whats the matter?
Rachel: Yes! And not because I want you to go out with me, but because I dont want you to go out with anybody! Okay? I know its a terrible thing to even think this, and its completely inappropriate, but I want you to be at my constant beck and call 24 hours a day! Im very sorry, but that is just the way that I feel.
Ross: Oh-oh, Rach! I was just messin around! (Shes stunned) Like you did last night when I had to pee?
Rachel: No thats just(Laughs)Thats just cause Im such a good messer!
Joey: Well I had a great time! Learned how to bake, ate great food, thats the first A Ive gotten since seventh grade, and I didnt have to sleep with the teacher this time.
The Acting Teacher: All right, lets start with some basics. Can anybody tell me what the difference between upstage and downstage is?
Monica: I dont know, my hand feels weird. I guess its because, Im engaged! (Shows off the ring.) How long before it starts getting annoying?
Joey: All right, and over there is Bradys Pub where I like to unwind after a long day of surgeoning.
Mr. Geller: Oh look, look theres your old makeup kit!
Ross: Hi. (They shake hands.) Its nice to meet you. I used to have a friend named Joey. I dont anymore.
Carol: Ohh, yknow, Susans gonna be shooting a commercial in London next week.
Phoebe: This is so cool, til Monica gets back, its like Im head chef and I get to make all the decisions. (She looks at the remaining butter, and then decides to add it to the dish.)
Phoebe Sr: Take it easy--if you want, theres cookies on the counter, or, or--sangria! (jumps up) I can make sangria!
Joey: Thats right!
Joey: Wait-wait-wait-wait! (To Chandler) Come on! Come on, lets trade! The timings perfect, I just clogged the toilet!
Janice: (notices Monicas engagement ring) Ohh! What is that on your finger?! Im blind!
Rachel: Oh its important!
Joey: (thinking) All right. Its a new day, and its just a crush, thats all! Just a little crush! All that worrying I was doing, that was crazy. Crazy! Like my friend here the bird would say, "it was cuckoo!" Everythings going to be fine. Its just a crush.
Rachel: Oh, its the best! (They both exhale contemplating the joys of marriage.) So, umm hows Monica?
Monica: (opening it) Whats this?
Monica: Its your birthday!
Mrs. Waltham: (Slapping the phone into Joeys chest.) Joey theres a girl on the phone for you.
Alice: Y'know, I mean, really we do realise that theres an age difference between us.
Joey: Thanks, Rach. Look, you guys are just terrific. Yknow? Now, how about clearing out of here so I can get some new customers. Its all about turnover.
Tag: Phoebe! Thats a great name.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, breakfast is finished but Rachels still down.]
Ross: Thats right! Thats right, dont you play a woman?
Joey: A woman in a mans body.
Rachel: I have so got it. Theres gonna be rumours about this, theres no way to stop it. Sophie knows, Monica and Phoebe know.
Phoebe: (getting out) Okay, whos next?
Joey: So yknow Ross its funny cause, you look familiar to me too. Have you ever been married?
Joey: Thats great, but isnt it gonna bother that people still think youre a porn star?
Chandler: (To Joey) Would you put that back on?! Monicas gonna be here any minute!
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Everybody hide! Hide! I saw her! Shes coming!
Ross: No-no-no! Its mine! Its-its mine. (The woman walks away.)
Ursula: Oh, its you.
Phoebe: Wow, that sounds great! And what are you making Monica, in case Rachels dessert is...[about to say bad] so good that I eat all of it. Theres none left for anybody else!
Phoebe: Thats my first name.
Phoebe: Hey, whats going on?
Chandler: Monicas wasted.
Chandler: Monicas a little drunk.
Ross: Look, I (He has trouble sitting in his chair.) Look, Im having a great time with you and I just dont want us to move to fast or put to much pressure on us. So, Im sorry I just dont think we should go away together yet. Its-its too soon.
Ross: Thats right! Wait no, Ben.
Tag: (handing his to her) This ones from me.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are admiring Monicas wedding dress.]
(Phoebe throws another jab, and lands it on Joeys nose, causing it to bleed.)
Monica: Well, I�ll tell you what we�re gonna do: We are already late for Phoebe�s birthday dinner, so you point out put out that cigarette, we�re gonna put this fight on hold and go have sex.
Joey: Come on! Look just-just telllet her know that you really want them to be there. Lets not forget, this is a woman that has sent you many lasagnas over the years.
Chandler: I thought I broke Joeys chair! Thats why I replaced it with mine!
[Scene: Monica and Phoebes, Ross is on the phone, as Phoebe is walking by carrying a lamp.]
Joey: Ten. Okay. Now Tag theres such a thing as to many women.
Rachel: Oh wow. Thatyknow what? That is so unfair. Yknow what? Now I want to steal your thunder! Come on Ross, lets go have sex!
Monica: Its gotta be one of a kind. Yknow like umm, yknow uh, whats that God awful ceramic fruit bowl she has on her counter?
Monica: Hes gonna eat the cake!
Monica: Oh, Rach! Rach! Umm hey, could you do me a favor and would talk to Chandlers dad and try to keep him away from Chandlers mom?
Elizabeth: Its a bathing suit?
Tag: Whats up?
Rachel: Yeah, Im doing okay. Im um lets talk.
Ross: Whats the matter? You okay?
Rachel: Yeah, its just yknow
Chandler: Thats great!
Ross: Its ridiculous!
Ross: But-but, if you dont love this, well do it in any other place at any other time. Really, its fine, whatever you want.
Rachel: Umm Pheebs, remember when we were in the coffee house we decided that I was going to keep the uh, the cute guys cell phone?
Chandler: Whoa-whoa-whoa! You broke Joeys chair?
Joey: Oh-oh! (Shows him whats on the back, "Best Man Joey Tribbiani, with a huge picture of him.)
Monica: It sounds like its coming from across the street.
Chandler: (To Monica) Shes not as pretty as she was when she was 29.
(The cute guys phone rings.)
Phoebe: What?! Thats the first time today!
The Porsche Owner: Hey! Thats my car.
Tag: Come on, lets have some fun. Huh? (To Rachel) What do you want to do today?
Joey: Oh thats great! Oh thank you so much!
Kathy: (on phone) Hey. (listens) Oh no its fine, dont worry about it. (listens) Yeah-no, stop apologizing, its okay. (listens) Yeah! Ill talk to you tomorrow. (hangs up) (to Chandler) I should uh, probably go.
Phoebe: Yes, while I was in the chair! Thats why I take such good care of my teeth now, y'know, its not about oral hygiene, I floss to save lives!
Cecilia: But Well now, nows a different time for me. (Starts to cry.)
Phoebe: Because its my apartment!
Tom: No thats my assistant.
Joey: Yeah-yeah, I noticed that! Is that cause shes so passionate?
Rachel: (screaming) MONICA!!!! MONICA!!!! (Runs to Monicas.)
Cecilia: Well, its nice to know that you
Joey: They sent me todays script! They never send the script!
Phoebe: I dont know. I-I think its still gonna be a while.
Richard: Uh, no! No! Thats art! If it bothers you I can put my art out.
Monica: Oh my God! A friend hes looking at differently, but its wrong. Its Rachel!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to move Joeys chair and not having much luck at it as Joey enters.]
Ross: Whats the matter?
Monica: Honey, theres a reason.
Chandler: Yeah lets head off to work.
Rachel: Oo! Whens her birthday?!
Ben: Whats a virgin?
Kate: Look umm, I, I was, I was just caught up in the moment. Thats all it was. Joey, Im-Im sorry you feel bad, but havent you ever sleep with a women where it meant more to her than it did to you?
Ben: (laughs) Thats a good one.
The Woman From Poughkeepsie: (outside Rosss window) Ross? Ross! (she knocks on the window) Wake up! Ross! (the train starts moving) Ross! Ross!! Ross!!! Ross!!!!
Ross: Okay, each team will answer ten questions. The first team that answers the most questions wins. Okay, the categories are, Fears and Pet Peeves, Ancient History, Literature, and Its All Relative. Now, the coin toss to see who goes first. (He flips the coin and they all watch it hit the table and stop. Then they all look up at him, to see who goes first.) Okay, somebody call it this time.
Joey: Yeah, its this great part, this boxer named Nick. And Im so, so right for it, y'know, hes just like me. Except hes a boxer, and has an evil twin.
Monica: Joey look its really sweet
Chandler: Okay, well tonights the big night.
Chandler: Yknow its funny I started it but, now its scary me. So could you come out here please?
Monica: Yknow, lets face it, Im not a kid anymore! I-I need to be with someone who-who wants the same things that I do! I mean coming to my place of work and telling me that you love me, I want that! Talking about pig sex over lunch, I dont want that!
Monica: Emily has probably been planning it since she was five! Ever since the first time she took a pillowcase and hung it off the back of her head. Thats what we did! We dreamed about the perfect wedding, and the perfect place, with the perfect four-tiered wedding cake (Starting to cry), with the little people on top. (Ross gets thrown a box of Kleenex from the bathroom and he gives her one.) Thanks. But the most important part is that we had the perfect guy who understood just how important all that other stuff was.
Ross: Yes! My babys finally free!
Rachel: I know! I know, its such a huge, life-altering thing.
Chandler: Oh you got a wedding dress? Thats great!
Monica: I thought I was making headway, everyone was smiling at me all day, I get off work and I find out that they wrote this (puts on her chef hat) on my chefs hat. (The hat says Quit, bitch)
Rachel: Whoa-whoa, theres two living rooms? God, growing up here, this place mustve been a real babe magnet.