words in movies
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, he clipped on, he said call him as soon as you get a chance, hes at Flimbys.
Rachel: Whats Flimbys?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, thats the word I use when I cant remember the real thing.
Rachel: Okay. Hang up! Thats it! Come on!
Phoebe: No! Rachel, thats what they want me to do. My warranty expires tomorrow, if I dont get through, theyre not gonna fix my crappy, broken phone for free! We cannot let them win! Its us versus them!
Monica: Really? Whos number two?
Chandler: Whos number two? One of the more difficult games sewer workers play.
Ross: Uh, no, its-its just this person.
Ross: Yeah, kinda. Its this woman from work. I hope that wont be too weird. Will it, Rach?
Monica: Joey, what are you doing?! Its never gonna happen, shes seeing somebody.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is getting ready to go to Joeys premiere and Phoebe is still on hold.]
Monica: All right. Honey, thats-thats a sleeve. Okay?
[Scene: Joeys Premiere, Rachel is already there with her date, Tommy who's played by Ben Stiller who will be in There's Something About Mary and Meet The Parents, as Ross and his date, Cailin, arrive.]
Ross: So its looks like were the first ones here.
(They all try and shake hands at once. They end up criss-crossing theyre arms to shake each others hand, and Ross says )
Monica: Theres our star!
Chandler: So thats the girl you like.
Ross: (drags Chandler over to buffet table) Im telling you, this guy Rachel is with is crazy! Okay? He viscously screamed at total strangers! I think hes baaad news!
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait a minute, you dont like the guy Rachels dating? Well, thats odd.
Joey: Oh, hey, Lauren. Uh, you guys this is, this is Kates understudy, Lauren.
[cut to Joey as Estelle, Joeys agent, approaches]
Ross: Hi! Yeah! Tommys in line for the bathroom and someone just cut in front of him, I think hes gonna snap. (Hes watching very intently)
The Director: Kate Millers awkward and mannered portrayal is laughable. (Kate walks away depressed.) Badda-badda-badda. Ah-ha! Here it is! The direction by Marshal Talmant is (stops, reads it again, and throws down the paper in disgust) Thank you, boys and girls, youve ruined my life. Please, stuff your talentless faces with my Mothers crab cakes! (starts to leave) Excuse me!!
[Scene: Kates Apartment, Joey and Kate are returning from a night out on the town.]
Joey: I know! Thats why they trashed me!
Joey: (Checks to see if shes drooling on his shirt.) Okay. Okay, okay, hey. (Lays her down and covers her with a blanket.) There we go, lets get your feet up there. (Looks at her) Good night, Kate. Sweet dreams. (Picks up a garbage can) Im gonna put this can right here in case you have to hurl.
Joey: Yeah! I stayed at Kates, but ah, nothing happened. Hey, Pheebs, where were ya?
Rachel: Tommys supposed to be here soon, were going to lunch.
Ross: No, its not just cause Im jealous. (Both Monica and Chandler give him a Come on look) I mean Im not, Im not, Im not jealous, okay? Its Look, the guy, he screamed, he actually screamed at this couple sitting in our seats.
Ross: Okay, fine, fine. You dont want to believe me? No, thats fine. (starts to leave)
Tommy: Whats in the cup, Ross?
Ross: Okay, its coffee.
Tommy: Ice coffee? Tell me its ice coffee!
Ross: Its-its hot
[cut to inside Central Perk, we see Ross quietly tapping on the window, desperately trying to get the gangs attention, while Tommy is still screaming at him]
Rachel: (not seeing Ross) Whats your favourite thing about summertime?
Rachel: Tommyyyy! Say, whats your favourite thing about summer?
Chandler: Ohh, thats a good one.
[Scene: Backstage at Joeys play, Joey is arriving, late.]
Stage Manager: Look, we held the curtain for you buddy. Come on, lets go! Lets go!
Joey: (surprised its Lauren) (hugs her) (whispering) Wheres Kate?
Lauren: (at the window, shes looking down out of the window) What do you got down there, Vic? What do you got under that tarp?
Ross: No, but its-its-its hot!
(We see Tommy go into Joey and Chandlers apartment)
Rachel: Ross, would you just stop it! Its getting really old.
[cut to Chandler and Joeys apartment, Tommy is using the phone]
Tommy: (noticing the chick) Ooh, hey! Hey, there little fella. (picks up the chick) Mr. Fuzzy-Man, how are you doing? (starts to pet him) Aww. (The chick poops on his hand.) Eww! Oh! Eww! Gross! Idiot!! Stupid little, fuzzy, yellow creature!! Oh look at me, Im so cute, Im a little chick whos disgusting! God, youre so stupid, how are you not yet extinct!! (the duck wattles behind him and quacks) (to the duck) Quack-quack, quack-quack!! What are you quacking about?! Dumb Donald Doo-Doo!!
[Scene: Backstage at Joeys play, Joey is changing for the next scene as Kate arrives, carrying her bags.]
Joey: Wh-wh-whats going on? Wh-whats this about L.A.?
Kate: Flights in an hour. I-I gotta go.
Monica: Phoebe, its been two days.
Phoebe: Yeah, I know. Oh, good thing its one of those 801 numbers. Right?
Phoebe: No, no, no, oh no-no-no, its has to be 800. (picks up the instruction manual to check the phone number) Cause all those big companies have 800 numbers, every one. (Finds the number) Yeah, every big Utah-based company has one.
Chandler: And yet, shes still not hanging up the phone.
Phoebe: Well, I think I broke it. But thats all right, heres the number you can call.
Joey: Dont worry! Dont worry. I just told him, very nicely, "You dont go buying peoples babies, so back off!!"
Richard: Hes gonna go up to the counter with Citizen Kane, Vertigo, and Clockwork Orgy. (they both laugh) This is nice.
Rachel: Ross, shes gonna start getting ready soon!
Joey: Morning! Hey, hows my favorite genius and my little robot buddy?! (Pats C.H.E.E.S.E. on the head.)
Rachel: Now, you do realize that shes a cartoon, and way out of your league?
Phoebe: Well its just like youre trying too hard. Always making jokes, yknow, you justYou come off a little needy.
Rachel: Ross, um, don’t forget to get a shot of Emma’s cake. It’s in a box in the fridge.
Ross: Oh wow! I mean, wow! I mean, I-I-I think shes cute but I-I would never have thought of going out with her, never!
Monica: Please, don't listen to Joey, okay. Would you look at him? He-hes obviously depressed. He's away from his family; he's spending Thanksgiving with strangers. What he needs right now is for you to be his friend.
Guy: Oh, its you. I see you everywhere. Im Jim, Jim Nelson.
David: That reminds me of you so much, I mean umm, it-its actually of Lenin. But, yknow at certain angles
Phoebe: Oh, Ross, Mon, is it okay if I bring someone to your parents anniversary party?
Phoebe: Turkeys are beautiful, intelligent animals!
Rachel: Wait, but theres no money! Well this is terrible! You guys are gonna have to get married in like a, rec. center!
Phoebe: (turns around and hits Frank) So thats what you thought I did!! God! Thats not what I do!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there as someones cell phone starts to ring with one of those fancy ring tones.]
Rachel: Oh, I have to pee. If I dont come out in five minutes its because Ive choked to death on the potpourri stink. (Goes into the bathroom.)
Monica: He was in Rosss class marching band kinda overweight? Well, really overweight. I mean I was his thin friend.
Joey: Thats right, its all ruined! You guys ruined everything! You ruined it! (Steps into the apartment and Chandler closes the door.) (Joey struts over to the candy and starts eating it.)
Rachel: Ok, let’s keep talking.
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Joey enters the room]
Phoebe: Oh, it’s the worst way to propose!
Chandler: See, honey, theres(puts his hand on her leg)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is coming out of the living room carrying his salad and a puzzlebeer! Cold beer. And he decides to fold up Phoebes massage table, but being Ross has trouble with it as there is a knock on the door. He sets the table back up and opens the door to reveal a beautiful woman.]
Janices Voice: (singing) My funny valentine, sweet comic valentine! You make me high over my heart!
Joey: Ah, look who’s back! (he sees the bags) Why do you have bags? RACH, WHY DOES SHE HAVE BAGS?
Joey: And its not fake, its totally brutal.
Joey: 'Cause we will appreciate it more when she’s gone?
Rachel: Amy, that’s what I was supposed to wear today, that’s why I hung it on the door.
[Scene: Monica’s Apartment. Rachel, Ross, Monica and Chandler are there, Phoebe enters the room]
Rachel: Phoebe, that’s huge!
Monica: Okay ah, please dont freak out. Umm, but ah, theres a blue fingernail in one of the quiche cups, and theres no way to know which one.
Emily: Ross, are you there? Ross, I dont know if you can hear this but (Ross has moved to the window, apparently so that he can hear better.) Im gonna talk anyway, uh, Im in the States with you sister and your friends and its all over with Colin. I came here to tell you that, and to tell youYes, Joey you can have all the chocolate you want, just take it! Uh, I came here to tell you that I love you.
Chandler: (laughs) Isnt she cute? (On Monicas death stare) No!
Joey: Look, look lets pretend its a real bachelor party. Okay? Yknow? Before your wedding. Come on, itll be fun.
Joey: Okay, some tricks of the trade. Now, Ive never been able to cry as an actor, so if Im in a scene where I have to cry, I cut a hole in my pocket, take a pair of tweezers, and just start pulling. Or ah, or, lets say I wanna convey that Ive just done something evil. That would be the basic I have a fishhook in my eyebrow and I like it (Does it by raising one eyebrow, and showing off the pretend fishhook.) Okay, lets say Ive just gotten bad news, well all I do there is try and divide 232 by 13. (looks all confused) And thats how its done. Great soap opera acting tonight everybody, class dismissed.
Rachel: Boy, are you gonna be sorry if that�s true.
Ross: (in his head) Shes your cousin. Shes your cousin! If she knew what was going on in your head shed think you were sick! (She grabs some popcorn.) Or would she? Lets back up a second. She was the one who suggested opening a bottle of wine. She was the one who turned down the lights. She was the one that wanted to rent Logans Run, the sexiest movie ever. (She grabs the blanket from behind him and looks at him.) Oh, I know that look. Forget it. I want it. She wants it. Im going in.
Rachel: No, Im just kidding I would never do that to you! Okay, everybody, its trifle time!
Phoebe: You guys were right. Hes just too excited about everything. I mean Im all for living life, but this is the Gellers 35th anniversary. Okay? Lets call a spade a spade this party stinks.
Monica: Yeah, I dont hear Chandlers and he doesnt hear mine.
[Cut to Joannas outer office, where Rachel and Sophie work. They are both coming back from lunch.]
Rachel: All right. (She does so and it brings the cooler closer together.) Hey-hey-hey!! (Sees whats in the cooler.) Sandwiches!
Jill: Fine, then lets just say hes not my type.
Joshua: (getting up and backing away from they.) Is there ah, is there some way they can not be here. Its just ah, farm birds really kinda freak me out!
Monica: Yknow what? It really creeps me out choosing other peoples sex clothes.
Phoebe: I cant say because hes famous.
Rachel: Did I say I was done guessing? Okay, thank you for that. Oh wow! Whats this?
Monica: But still, its a big change. The end of an era, you might say!
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, shes pacing as Ross knocks on her door and opens it a little to stick his hands in.]
Ross: How come its always us left in the field holding the ball?
Rachel: Because its Richards son! Its like inviting Greek tragedy over for dinner!
Rachel: No! It didnt! Thats what I want to talk to you about. (starts to break up) Now, just to brief you (starts to cry) I may cry, but they are not tears of sadness or of anger, but just of me having this discussion with you.
(They disappear into the bedroom leaving Ross standing in the living room holding Susans coat.)
Joey: How about those fries though, huh? (Holds the plate between Sarah’s fingers and his plate, thus blocking her from reaching his)
Joey: Thats a nice picture. Maybe you can still have that!
Ross: No I left the diapers at the hospital! Theres some in the bag but Ill run out and get some more.
[Scene: The Mr. Bowmont (Joeys boat), shes shown to be in one of the waterways around New York, but in reality shes in a sound stage on the Warner Bros. lot and we see New York from the water in some rather poor green screen shots. Rachel and Joey are on board.]
(They both sit down at the table and the chick and the duck enter from Joeys bedroom.)
Phoebe: When I was you! Y'know what, its all Joeys fault, cause he left his nose open!
Monica: Well, Im never gonna listen to you again, thats for sure! (Mimicking her.) "Yknow, harm can it do if you go and put your name down?"
Monica: Rachel! Im never gonna think its okay for you to cheat on your husband!
[Scene: The hallway, Ross is coming up the stairs as Phoebe leaves Joey and Chandlers.]
Joey: There’s a part in a TV movie that I would be perfect for and I didn’t even be put up for it! She’d better have a good reason.
Phoebe: No-no, thats not, thats not me Phoebe, thats her pal Phoebe. According to her high school yearbook, they were like B.F.F. (Ross and Bonnie look at her quizzically) Best Friends Forever.
Ross: Oh. Oh, thats right. So-so you did see me that day because it seemed like you didnt.
Jill: (gasps) Thats the best one! Oh my God, (hugs him) thank you so much!
Chandler: No, the babys out! Look, look!
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Somebody knocks the door]
Ross: Okay, there are no stupid fights!! This isnt about the room, this is about what the room represents! And unfortunately, this room (Points to Rachels room) could destroy you!!
The Interviewer: So, thats it. I guess thats all I need. Thank you so much. I think they will be running this in the beginning of next month.
Joey: Listen that�s a pretty girly hour we just spent, we should add some manly make up for it.
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Somebody knocks the door]
Phoebe: (in her head) Say something! Say anything! Ask her out! Shes not your cousin!
Rachel: and I know Chandler is kidding but it happens every time he touches my stomach. I mean Im really worried the babys not going to like him. (Joey is staring at the table.) Are you okay?
Phoebe: Hey, buddy. Hows my favorite dog, huh? Hows my favorite dog? (the dog doesnt move) Youre subdued. (to Joey) Did you give him a beer?
Monica: Listen umm, Ive been thinking, its not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.
Woman: Hi, were the Rostins. Err, Im J.C., and hes Michael, and were having a boy, and a girl.
Chandler: Young! Youre a man-child okay?! Now go get changed because everybodys ready and please, oh please, keep my underwear!
Chandler: Yeah! Anderson just scored again! (To Phoebe) Theres no Anderson.
Monica: Sounds like shes got the ah, whole package.
Nurse: Hey, she just woke up! Shes hungry. Why dont we give this another try?
Joey: Okay, what do you have a fear of if you suffer from this phobia, Tris Holy cow, thats a big word. Trisc Seriously look at this thing. Chandler, how do you say that?
Monica: Its okay. I suppose it could happen to anyone, not anyone I know, but... By the way I can still see it.
Chandler: No! No! I dont want him to know were yet! Im not sure Im ready for that. And besides hes not gonna be too happy to see me either.
Phoebe: Please, dont play the music. Just uh one more. LIVE FROM NEW YORK! ITS SATURDAY NIGHT!!
Monica: Its almost 8 oclock, its almost past his bedtime. Where-where is he?
Chandler: They were just giving those away at the store (off Monicas look) in exchange for money.
Phoebe: And I have your name and the fact that youre a drifter, so the balls pretty much in your court.
[Cut to later in that episode. Rachel and Phoebe are going to a movie from Monica and Chandlers, and as Phoebe walks by Chandler she pinches him on the butt and exits.]
Rachel: Whats-whats going on? Phils really pissed!
(Monica screams, throws the mouse down, and rubs her hands on Rosss sweater to clean them.)
Ross: No. I... I wanted to be with you. I dont know, I feel like lately, I feel like youre slipping away from me, y'know. With this new job, and all these new people, and youve got this whole other life going on. I-I-I know its dumb, but I hate that Im not a part of it.
Ross: Uh thats an eighteenth century Indian artifact from Calcutta.
Monica: Its not like, I havent any opportunities. I mean, yknow, Im just waiting for the perfect guy. Im seeing this guy Roger, all right? Hes not perfect, but umm, I think maybe I should just get it over with. Yknow, give him my flower.
Joey: No-no, I cant! I cant! Not after the other night, its just its too weird, okay? Dont tell her Im here! (Turns to run to the bathroom and his bagel falls off the plate onto the floor.) Dont eat that! (Runs to the bathroom as Rachel enters.)
(Sarah picks up some fries from Joey’s plate and Joey looks very angry. Then we’re back to Central Perk and Joey does a you-see-what-I-mean look to Phoebe)
Phoebe: And how none of it matters when the people really love each other. (Chandler and Monica kiss.) And how people will believe anything you tell them as long as its a compliment.
Monica: No-no, its not okay! Its not! I mean you were just Youre so incredible! You went through all this time and effort to make this tape for me! Yknow Im just gonnaI, I am gonna make this up to you! I will! I-I am going to cook anything you want in here (points to the kitchen), and I am going to do anything you want in there! (Points to the bedroom.)
Monica: Come on Phoebe, lets go! Come on, its time to get serious, huddle up. Joey, keep your head in the game.