words in movies
[Scene: The Hospital, Ross and Rachel, whos in a wheelchair, are arriving in the waiting room for the maternity ward.]
Ross: Yeah, guess so. Whew! Check these out! (Hes looking at the stirrups on the other bed in the room and Rachel groans. Ross then hops into the bed and puts his legs into the stirrups.) Never done this before.
Rachel: Thats so sweet.
Monica: Listen uh, I-Ive been doing some thinking, and I dont know whether its because were here or Rachels giving birth but umm, I think we should try to have a baby.
Monica: (freaking out) What-what-whats that now?!
Joey: Youre ready to have a baby? My boys all grown up!
Monica: Thats it! Right there! Is all I wanted!
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, time lapse, Ross is massaging out a cramp on Rachels hip as Marc opens up the privacy screen.]
Rachel: Oh, thats veryReally very-very okay.
Marc: Julies cervix is dilated a seven centimeters, thats about four fingers. The doctor let me feel it myself.
Julie: Have you felt Rachels cervix Ross?
Julie: Well, if you like you can feel Rachels and then feel mine to compare.
Ross: Hi! Im so glad youre here, but its gonna be a while. I-I wished youd called first.
Mrs. Geller: Oh thats all right, Im coming back later with your father.
Ross: Okay, whats up?
Mrs. Geller: This is your grandmothers engagement ring, I want you to give it to Rachel.
Ross: N-no! Okay? Weve been through this! Were not gonna get married just because shes pregnant, okay?
Joey: God. Hes crazy! Why doesnt he want to be with Rachel?
Joey: I mean seriously, shes like the perfect woman. I mean I know she turned me down, but if she hadnt and wanted to be with me, I would take her in my arms and (Realizes everyone is staring.) I havent bummed you guys out like this in a while have I?
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey. Whos that?
Rachel: Theyre having their baby! Its not fair Ross we got here first! Right after you left they wheeled her off into delivery. Oh but not before she gave me a juicy shot of little Jamie just crowning away.
Evil Bitch: Shes in labor! You like that you sick son of a bitch!
Rachel: Hes looking at me.
Monica: Well maybe Im ready now. I mean, its a little scary, but maybe its right.
Chandler: What?! Its not right! Were not ready to have a kid now!!
Chandler: Wait a minute, its perfect. We got a lot of time to kill and were in a building thats full of beds!
Monica: And its so clean!!
Phoebe: Well, its a long story. Its kind of embarrassing. Lets just say there was a typographical error with a sex manual. (The guy laughs.) How about you?
Man: Yeah. Me. (The elevator door opens.) Oh hey, thats me. (Rolls onto the elevator.) Hey uh, I take it youre just visiting someone.
Ross: Thats it. Thats it.
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Excuse me? Could you help me with something? The patient Im looking for has a broken leg and is in a wheelchair. And umm, hes like early to mid-thirties, very attractive.
Joey: (walks up) Uh, shes with me. (Introduces himself) Dr. Drake Remoray.
Joey: Remoray. Its Portuguese. We need that information; Im a doctor.
Joey: Damnit woman were losing precious time! Now do you want this mans blood on your head?
Joey: Hands! It is absolutely essential that you tell me what room the man my assistant described is staying in. Hes a patient of mine, Ive been treating him for years!
Nurse: Hes in room 816.
Chandler: Okay. Uh, well dim the lights, dim the lights. (He goes to the light switch and finds its not a dimmer switch when he flips the lights off.) Or turn them out all together. Uh, no scented candles. Okay here. Here we go. (He sprays an aerosol air freshener above her.)
Monica: Okay. Lets hurryOh wait! Do we have a condom? (He looks at her.) Oh right! (Laughs and they resume making out when a nurse catches them in the act.)
Phoebe: Ooh, this is it! (Looks in the window.) Oh, thats him! Thats him!
Joey: (looks in the window) Hes not really my type.
Phoebe: No not you, Dr. Drake Remoray. You can ask him questions and see whats he like. People tell doctors everything.
Rachel: Hey, yknow what? Im not waiting! Im gonna push this baby out! Im doing it! I mean its what? Three centimeters? Thats gotta be like this! (Holds her hands a couple inches apart.)
Ross: Actually its more like this. (Pushes her hands to less than an inch apart.)
Woman Giving Birth: (yelling from the hallway) Its coming! Its coming!
Joey: Oh thats terrible. Im-Im really sorry.
Nurse: (calling to the woman) This rooms available.
Rachel: Okay! Okay wait! You listen to me! You listen to me! Since I have been waiting four women, thats four, one higher than the number of centimeters that I am dilated, have come and gone with their babies! Im next! Its my turn! Its only fair! And if you bring in one woman and she has her baby before me Im going to sue you! Not this hospital, Im going to sue you! And my husband (Points at Ross) hes a lawyer!
Woman: OH .MY .GAWD!!! (Uh-huh, its Janice.)
Ross: And yet somehow its true!
Ross: (To Rachel) Squeeze your legs together and cover the babys ears!
Janice: Hi! Hi sweetheart! This is my husband Sid, I dont think youve met him. Ross, Rachel, this is Sid. I nabbed him a year ago at the dermatologists office. Thank God for adult acne huh? (Does the laugh.)
Janice: Oh yknow what? You have to speak very loudly when youre talking to Sid, because hes almost completely deaf.
Ross: Um uh Were-were just having this baby together but uh, uh thats all.
Joey: Uh, well hes 33.
Joey: He seemed like a stand up guy. Oh, and hes not into anything weird sexually.
Chandler: Should we tell Rachel theres an empty private room right next door to hers?
Chandler: If its not, then theres two of them. And that would mean its the end of the world!
Chandler: Weirdest thing. Did I hear(A nurse opens the privacy screen and Chandler sees Janice)Mother of God its true!
Chandler: Janice I didnt even know you were pregnant! Whos the unwitting human whos essence youve stolen?
Janice: Its you. This is yours.
Chandler: Thats funny. Does it-does it hurt? Does the labor hurt?
Cliff: No, Im sorry. Its just my foot itches like crazy.
Phoebe: Relax, its not like were forking.
Rachel: Oh thats five Ross. Five women have had five babies! And I have had no babies! Why doesnt she want to come out?
Cliff: Oh my God! Thats the doctor who was in my room before!
Joey: (entering) Rachels having her baby!! (Phoebe turns and looks at him.) Which is of no interest to me, Im a neurologist.
Cliff: That-thats him! You know him?
Phoebe: Youre right, that was wrong. Im sorry. Im so sorry. Its just that I liked you so much. Can we just, can we just start over?
Joey: Uh, if I may? Umm-umm look, Cliff, you told me a lot of personal stuff about you, right? And maybe-maybe it would if-if would help if-if you knew some personal stuff about her. Uh, she was married to a gay ice dancer. Uh, she gave birth to her brothers triplets. Oh! Oh! Her-her twin sister used to do porn!
Dr. Long: Its the babys buttock, shes breech.
Dr. Long: Shes gonna be fine. Okay, shes in a more difficult position so youre gonna have to push even harder now. Go! Push!
Dr. Long: Rachel youre gonna have to push even harder, nothings happening!
Ross: Hey! Hey! Come on! You can! I know you can do this! Lets go!
Ross: No! Come on letsOne more time! One final push! Ready? 1 2 3! (Rachel pushes so hard her head snaps up head-butting Ross and knocking him down.)
Ross: Oh! Oh! Shes upside down but shes coming! Shes coming!
Ross: Oh! Oh my God oh! Oh my God shes here.
Ross: Oh shes shes perfect.
Rachel: Oh, shes so tiny. (Starts crying) Whered she go?
Ross: Oh its okay. Theyre just-theyre just wrapping her up.
Rachel: Okay. Well be careful with her, shes really tiny.
Rachel: Oh hey you. Thanks for coming out of me. (The baby cries.) I know. Oh. Yeah. Oh, shes looking at me. Hi! I know you.
Dr. Long: Thats fine, for now well just call her Baby Girl Green.
(Ross and Rachel look into each others eyes and kiss.)
Phoebe: Oh, shes so beautiful.
Monica: Oh my God! Shes amazing. Oh, oh Im so glad you guys got drunk and had sex!
Chandler: Its incredible, I mean one minute shes inside you and then 47 hours later here she is.
Joey: (taking the baby) She looks so real! (The gang looks at him.) Yknow what I mean! Shes this whole tiny little person. She already has eyelashes and knees and uh-oh.
Monica: Whats the matter?
Ross: The doctor says its completely normal with all the hormones. Plus, you-youre sleep deprived.
Joey: Whats the matter now?
Phoebe: Oh, wait a minute its not gonna be Baby Girl? I thought that was so original!
Rachel: Thats not her name! Im sorry, she just doesnt feel like an Isabella.
Monica: Its okay honey, youll find a name.
Chandler: Oh no, its gonna be named after some snack or baked good isnt it?
Monica: Umm, okay. If its a boy its Daniel.
Rachel: And if its a girl?
Monica: Okay. Its Emma.
Monica: Its clearly an Emma.
Monica: Yeah, but I love you more. Besides yknow, nothing goes with Bing. So Im screwed. I mean (Rachel hands Emma to Monica.) Oh, hi Emma. Yeah, thats you. Youre our little Em. Oh whats that honey? What? Oh, you want a little cousin? (To Chandler) You want a cousin right now?!
Janice: Hes a keeper. How are you feeling?
Rachel: Well then he gets a divorce, its Ross!
Rachel: Well IThats never gonna happen with Ross.
Janice: Oh well thats what I thought about my first husband, now Im lucky if my kid gets to spend the weekend with her father and the twins and little Ms. New Boobs.
Rachel: Well Thats yknowThatsWeve been alone for the last twenty minutes were doing okay. Besides yknow what? I-IMaybe we wont be alone, cause lately I-Ithings have been happening between me and Ross, yknow? Right before I went into labor, we-we had this kiss. Yknow? So it might be the the beginning of something.
Ross: Whos this little guy? (Gasps when he sees Aaron.)
Rachel: No! No, of course not. No. Thats why I brought it up. (Pause) They didnt have any sodas?
Rachel: Thats all right. (He goes to get her a soda.) And so it begins.
Ross: Yeah. Shes putting her down now, thats her. (Points to the nurse putting Emma now.)
Ross: Oh what are you kidding? Shes gorgeous, its all Rachel.
Ross: Its its complicated okay?
Phoebe: Yeah thats true. Yeah, you love her. You always have. You have a child together. There is no right answer.
Ross: Look, weve been together. Okay? And then apart, and then together, and then apart, and now we have a baby. (Pause) Its just if-if we got together again and it didnt work out I could never do that to Emma. I mean she-she thinking everything(Starts to cry.) Oh thats now me. What do they put something in the water in this place? Since Rachel and I were doing really, were doing really well right now.
Joey: Hey. I just saw a woman breast feeding both of her twins at the same time; it is like a freak show up here. (Notices shes wiping her eyes.) Whats the matter?
Rachel: Really its nothing. Im just
Rachel: Im just saying that yknow, someday Ross is gonna meet somebody and hes gonna have his own life. Right?
Joey: Hey, listen to me, listen to me you are never ever gonna be alone. Okay? I promise thats not gonna happen.
Rachel: Oh, hon can you grab me my other box of tissues? Theyre right on that chair under Rosss coat.
(He moves Rosss coat to get the tissues and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that its an engagement ring.)
[Cut to Ross getting of an elevator carrying a bouquet of flowers and walking down the hall to Rachels room.]
{Transcribers Note: As with all the cliffhangers, there was no credits scene. There will be a ninth and final season of Friends starting sometime in September. See you then, have a good summer everyone.}
Rachel: Definitely! Phoebe, you will not find a single game show host, whos ass I cannot kick.
Chandler: Hmmm, thats very cool.
Phoebe: Thats what I said.
Phoebe: Excuse me, I dont want Greg and Jennys rejects.
(Ross just stands in the doorway, for like a minute Ahh! Whats going to happen next??!!! I cant make it all the way through the Olympics!!!)
Mr. Geller: All-right fine, but I just want to say, Im not paying for your wine cellar. You thieving, would be speaking German if it werent for us, cheap little man. (Emilys stepmum looks shocked. Jack and Judy get up and leave.)
Ross: Oh, come on, you know its a girl!
The Casting Director: Terrific! Well uh, theres one more thing. Uhh, uh its really important to the director that everything in this movie is authentic. Yeah and so in your love scene with Sarah she talks about how shes never seen a naked man who wasnt Jewish. So (Laughs.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is on the couch reading as Rachel enters. Its the next day.]
Leslie: Wow, thats great.
Tim: Actually shes my-my boss. Sous is French for under.
Monica: Its 9:30 in the morning!
Tim: I I-I dont know, but I would say its pretty good-o. (Phoebe laughs too hard.)
Ginger: Whats that?
Phoebe: (to Rachel, whos staying in the cab.) Arent you gonna go?
Gunther: They already do. Thats why they call it the tray spot.
Monica: Wheres that?
Joey: So Pheebs whats this guy like?
Melissa: Oh no, thats-thats an old card. Umm, I wanted to get out of that and-and do something where I can really help people and-and make a difference.
Monica: Wow! Its small.
Ross: Hey, whats going on?
Ross: Whats that on the bottom?
Chandler: Well, lets just say its ironic how footage of someone being born can make you want to kill yourself.
Phoebe: Then thats not breaking the law! Im there!
Ross: Hey, I think Elizabeth is a little more serious than, "Spring break!" (Imitates the party noise.) All right? I mean shes taken my class!
Rachel: Oh thats right! Im sorry! I-I am early! Finish! Please!!
[Scene: Pauls Bedroom, Elizabeth is entering.]
[Scene: Fortunata Fashions, Rachels new job.]
Chandler: Janice, I have something I need to tell you, and I want you to let me get through it, because its, its, its not gonna be easy.
Ross: Wow! Happy Monicas night!
Joey: Uh-uh, excuse me, I do have to interrupt on Rosss behalf. I-I think the rule applies here yknow, since she has a chance to get on broad back
Ross: First of all its Professor Pittain! And second of all, that little bone, proved that, that particular dinosaur had wings, but didnt fly.
Joey: Jos there, but I dont think theres anything she could do.
Joey: Whats going on?
Ross: Okay, its not, its not.
Girl: Im not gonna tell you! Youre the bad man who broke Sarahs leg.
Monica: Of course theres another guy!! This is even more perfect! Now you have to prove your love!
Mark: Its for me.
[Scene: The hospital, Ross and Monica are in Phoebes room. Phoebe is in the bathroom and Monica notices smoke coming out from underneath the door.]
Ross: Hi! Its me.
Ross: Whos that?
Ross: Ah, thats okay, thanks.
[Scene: Monicas bedroom, shes in bed with Richard.]
Ross: What was Monica’s nickname when she was a field hockey goalie?
Phoebe: Well, hes very charming.
(She hits the jukebox Fonzy style, and Its That Time of Season starts to play, as they start to kiss.)
Monica: Sorry. So hows it going with Joey?
Ross: Okay, its not, its not.
[Scene: Ross and Rachels apartment, Rachel is unpacking as the phone rings.]
Ross: Whos that?
Rachel: Oh Pheebs thats so sweet(Grabs a pair of pants)Ooh, those are so cute!
Ross: Thats crap!! Sister Brown Bird. (to Elizabeth) Good going. (does the salute)
[Scene: Rosss Kitchen, Ross is taking some aspirin and checking his messages.]
Monica: I know! I mean its like me and your dad, thats a totally separate thing.
Chandler: Joeys gonna be thrilled! He was hoping youd come by as a slutty nurse.
Chloe: Wait! Wheres my shoes?
Chloe: Thats so great for you guys!
Ross: Well then a small one!! Listen, lets, we kinda have to get going!
Joey: Yeah, I mean its never taken me a week to get over a relationship.
Chandler: Thats-thats my nubbin.
Monica: Rachel, what are you doing? Its freezing out here. Would you come back inside?
Chandler: Well, thats the part where you tell him that I moved to France. When actually Ill be in Cuba.
Ross: Oh, I-I dont think theres any trail.
Joey: Its all London, baby! Here we go. (He takes a picture of a less than enthused Chandler and starts towards the girls apartment.)
Monica: Its okay, its okay.
Monica: Thats right.
Rachel: Ross, what are you talking about? (she sees the cake) oh! Oh my God! They put my baby’s face on a penis!
Chandler: (on machine) Youve reached Monica and Chandlers, if youre listening to this message, were probably screening. (to himself) Yeah we are.
Rachel: What, whats it, whats going on?
Ross: Wheres Ben?
Carol: Hes sleeping.
Ross: Its a good thing I didnt do it, because it sounds like it wouldve been a very expensive wedding. (Rachel laughs) Okay, good night
Monica: So why-why wasnt Rosss stuff ruined? (Pause) And if you say the words medical marvel Im going to Easy Bake your head!
Joey: (screaming) Why God?!! Why?!! We had a deal!! Let the others grow old! Not me!! (He buries his head in Phoebes lap for comfort.)
Monica: YeahOh thats right. You, you always wanted me too. Hey, I see you got your mustache back.
Joey: Im the lead in Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.!!
Ross: Postpone it? Emily, do you think Monica realises how much our parents spent on this wedding? Do you my sisters teeny-tiny little brain comprehends that people took time out of their lives to fly thousands of miles to be here, huh? (He puts his pants on backwards.) This isnt right.
Chandler: Thats a bad duck!!! (to Ross) Howd the thing go tonight, Ross?
Rachel: Nooo! Its not okay! I cant believe you would want to after what he did to me!
Rachel: All right, lets go!
Ross: No, Monicas restaurant got a horrible review in the Post. (They all gasp.) I didnt want her to see it, so I ran around the neighborhood and bought all the copies I could find. (He hands the paper to Phoebe and they all read it.)
Rachel: You guys, theres a little girl in Soho looking for this cat. I mean, you know what that means?!
Monica: (to Joey) Whats so funny?
Joey: What-whats so funny?
Chandler: (to Rachel, whos entering) Hey! Howd the interview go?
Rachel: (to Ross) Whats your problem?
Joey: Well. I guess you think youre pretty special huh? Sittin up here in your fancy small hall building. Makin stars jump through hoops for ya, huh? Well yknow what? (Throws the script away) This is one star whos hoop This is a star that the hoopthis hoopI was Dr. Drake Remoray!
Phoebe: Ugh, its so exhausting waiting for death. Ohh, by the way, do you think you could(Groans, hacks, and then freezes with her eyes open and her tongue hanging out.)
Frank: Yeah, so we just thought wed stop by and let you know theres still no pressure.
[Scene: Outside Chandlers Office, Chandler is just about to go into his office when Bob calls for him from behind.]
Phoebe: What, hes 18.
Monica: It was okay. Shes still kind of depressed because she broke up with her boyfriend.
Chandler: Okay, thats like the least fun game ever.
Monica: Youre right, Im sorry. Its not like youre yknow, going out with an ex-girlfriend.
Joey: No, not really. They give you all the information, its uh, its like memorizing a script. (Making like a tour guide) "And on your left, you have Tyrannosaurus Rex, a carnivore from the Jurassic period.
Ross: Yeah, thats the one. Listen, I dont want to hurt her.
Chandler: Its the semi-finals of her botchy ball tournament.
Rachel: This bench, its hollow! I cant believe I never knew that! (She pushes all the pillows off it and opens it up) Oh, the presents!!!
Phoebe: Thankfully you dont need me at all (gets up and to leave) so Okay Super aunt see you later! Rachel lets give it six to eight months (she leaves).
Monica: Hows the big anniversary dinner?