words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Janines, Chandler knocks on the front door. Joey answers the door.]
Chandler: Hi, my names Chandler. I just moved in next door and I was wondering if you would be interested in battling me in a post-apoplectic world for control of the galaxies last remaining energy source?
Joey: Uh, no, shes at dance class.
Chandler: (The room is filled with flowers and a floral print sheet on the bed.) Oh my God. What is th its like a guy never lived in here. Look, youve got to be careful. This girl thing is dangerous. (Looking around the living room.) Its spreading already.
Chandler: (Pointing to the table and picking up the box.) Is that your tiny little box, thats too small to put anything in?
Monica: It was okay. Shes still kind of depressed because she broke up with her boyfriend.
Phoebe: Im, uhh, making up flyers trying to get new massage clients. So, can I come to Bloomingdales and use the copy machine.
Rachel: Well, sure, but they might think its kinda weird considering I dont work there anymore.
Phoebe: Well thats great! Congratulations!! (She hugs Rachel.)
Chandler: Thats weird. I dont think my boss likes me either.
Ross: Maybe its a universal thing?
Joey: Or maybe, its because youre hanging around here at 11:30 on a Wednesday. (Everybody gets up.)
Chandler: Yeah lets head off to work.
[Scene: Rachels office, Phoebe hands Rachel a key card.]
Rachel: Phoebe, I mean, you do know hes married?
Phoebe: What am I supposed to do? Ask every guy I make out with if hes married? (Rachel looks at her.) No, yeah, I should.
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Joey stares at a picture of a bay on the wall. Janine comes out of her room.]
Joey: Yeah, thats what I was afraid of.. Okay, uhh Look Janine I really want you to feel at home here, but some of this new stuff. Its too girly.
Janine: Joey, its Anne Geddes. Shes a famous artist.
Joey: Look I dont know this baby. I dont know if shes a famous artist or not. You know, and I dont want to be a jerk but youre changing too much around here.
Joey: Yeah but its too much stuff. You know like, you got the candles and the foofy schmoofer thing here and over here you got a picture of a watering can.
Joey: Im sure its a famous watering can, okay. But, come on and what is with the really hot stick in the bathroom?
Janine: Its a curling iron.
Joey: Ohh, well, thats ok then. But, okay my towels for instance. I come in to the bathroom here and my towel is not on the floor where keep it. Its up here on some hook..and smells different.
Janine: Its clean.
Janine: Its dry.
Janine: No no no no, its potpourri. Youre supposed to smell it. (Joey takes a big whiff of the potpourri.)
Joey: (Voice cracking) Well thats like summer in a bowl.
Rachel: Ahh .So Wow The spring line, its really going to be great this year, huh?
Ross: Whats up? (He smiles. His teeth are freakishly white.)
Ross: I know. Thats why I did it. (With a big smile) Come on, are they really that bad?
Chandler: No, no no no. Youll be fine. (turning to Monica) Hillarys bind, right?
Phoebe: Hey. Here. (Hands Chandler a copy of her flyer and sees the picture of Ralph.) Ohh, whos the silver fox?
Phoebe: Thats not Ralph Lauren. Sounds like him though.
Phoebe: Yeah, no, Ralph doesnt look anything like that guy. Hes-hes young and hes got long hair and a beard and a hacky sack.
Rachel: Oh My God, Phoebe, thats not Ralph Lauren. Thats Kenny the copy guy.
[Scene: Rosss Apartment, Ross and Monica are there.]
[Scene: Chandlers and Monicas apartment, Chandler and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table making potpourri sachets.]
Chandler: Yes, God forbid we throw out old underwear. You-you know what? Im going to go over to Joeys.
Chandler: Nah, Nah, its okay. I feel like I need to be in guy place. You know, do kind of like a man thing.
Monica: Yeah. Go over to Joeys. Go over to Joeys and drink some beer and hammer up some drywall.
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Chandler walks in. Joey and Janine are knitting at the kitchen counter.]
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Chandler enters. Ross is putting on makeup.]
[Scene: Elevator at the Ralph Lauren offices, Kims waiting for it. The door opens and Rachel is inside.]
Rachel: Okay, two things didnt happen. Remember I told you that someone made out with Ralph Lauren in the copy room? Well, it turns out thats not true.
Kim: Thats not true?
Kim: Oh thats interesting? Because I checked and only one keycard was used to access the copy machine yesterday during lunch and that keycard belonged to you, Rachel.
[Scene: Hillarys apartmen,. Hillary and Ross are having dinner. He is avoiding opening his mouth.]
Hillary: After a while its like, shut your mouth, you know?
Ross: Hmm-Hmm-Hmm. (Putting his hand up to block his mouth.) Okay. I, uh, am from Long Island. I-I came to the city for college. Um, I, um, have a 5 year old son and in my spare time I like to read spy novels. But, but, lets talk more about you. Hmm.
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Joey and Monica are arranging flowers. Chandler walks in.]
Joey: So whats really neat. If you sear the stems of the flowers first in a frying pan, your arrangement will look fresh much longer.
Joey: No Im not. Why would you say that? Thats just mean.
Joey: Its not what you said. Its the way you said it .Oh My God, Im a women!!!
[Scene: Hillarys apartment, Hillary and Ross are finishing up their date.]
Hillary: Whats a matter with you?
Ross: Whats a matter with me? Youve got a black light. Its 1999!
Kim: Oh my God. He just gave you the coldest look I have ever seen. Its like he hates you. Then it is true.
Rachel: Of course its true and it hurts so bad.
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Joey paces the floor waiting for Janine. She walks in.]
Janine: Whats the matter? Are you upset?
Joey: Im sorry but weve got to get rid of all this girlie stuff in here. I, uh, I got to be a man! Okay. The living room has to remain a guy place, okay? Thats just the way it has to be.
Janine: Well, if thats what you want. Ill just put it all in my room.
(Why was this the trailer? Well, thats because it was an introduction into the special out takes episode that immediately followed the show. The entire out takes episode, Friends: The Stuff Youve Never Seen can be read by following this link.)
Mona: No-no thats a mans shirt.
Monica: This is Rachel. I mean, what are you gonna do, never going to talk to her again? I mean I know its weird, its awkward, but you gotta at least try.
Matire'd: (to Richard) Youre tables ready sir.
Joey: Okay, heres a good one for ya. Who do think would win in a fight between Ross and Chandler.
Ross: Heres your girlfriends button. (Holding the button.)
Monica: (lustily) Lets do it! (She kisses him and they fall back onto the bed.)
Joey: Thats your move? Boy Rach, youre lucky youre hot.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler have gone through the phone book and found Greg and Jennys number which Monica has just dialed.]
[Scene: Mr. Zelners Office, Rachel is knocking on the door.]
Mr. Zelner: Oh I think its best that I speak first.
Monica: Thats not your regular dry cleaners.
The Photographer: (taking pictures) Great! Thats great Monica! Great! Now, Chandler, you want to give us a smile?
Joey: Hey youre right. Yeah, its kinda been like us again a little bit.
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, hes snoring again and Chandler is there to roll him over.]
Joey: So, whos the guy?
Chandler: Its a dog.
[Cut to Monica and Rachels apartment as Rachel returns in tears.]
Student: Yeah, its the new building on Avenue A.
Mr. Geller: Oh yeah, well who serves steak when theres no place to sit, I mean how are you supposed to eat this?
Monica: Its just that, its so much.
Eric: Cause the sweats getting in my eyes and its burning.
Ross: Aw forget it, its from Pier One. (Theres an angry knock on the door.) Sorry. (Goes and opens the door to an irate Dr. Green.)
Rachel: Oh yeah. Thats a great story.
Ross: No, youve heard my practice. Okay? Just-just give me a chance to perform for you and then decide whatever you want. And Im not going to tell you what song Im gonna play either. But uh, lets just say when its over Ill bet there will be a we bit o celebration.
Phoebe: Whats that now?
Mona's Date: Its awfully pink. (Ross mouths, "Its salmon!")
Phoebe: Yeah well, she certainly knew what she was doing New Years Eve 1997.
Phoebe: Yeah, its for our catering business!
Rachel: No! No! No! No its not! No its not! Come on! Phoebe, ours is totally different! I mean we dont have the (Looks desperately for something different.) We dont have the that lamp! And-and that screen is yknow, on the other side.
Monica: What?! Youre crazy! Theres nothing sexual about the noises I make!
Parker: Im sorry thats who I am. Im a positive person.
Chandler: Yes, you got something from the Screen Actors Guild.
Ross: What? Is it the comet? (Runs over to where Joeys standing.)
Monica: Yeah. And yknow, if you wanna cry, thats okay too.
Joey: All right look, yknow how-yknow how when youre dating someone and you dont want to cheat on them, unless its with someone really hot?
Chandler: Im sorry. Youre not easy-going, but youre passionate, and thats good. And when you get upset about the little things, I think that Im pretty good about making you feel better about that. And thats good too. So, they can say that youre high maintenance, but its okay, because I like maintaining you.
Ross: Right. Okay, lets play. Lets go.
Joey: Thats kinda nice.
Chandler: Yeah, thats kinda a relief.
Phoebe: Your kid is seven?! (Ross nods, "Yes.") (To the rest) Hes really small. (To Ross) Please! Please get the tickets!
Chandler: Whats wrong with you?
Chandler: Thats still in there?!
[Time lapse, Ross and Joey are eating Rachels disaster.]
[The next one is from Episode 619: The One With Joeys Fridge.]
Monica: Whos David Lynn?
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
The Interviewer: Oh! I like that. Whats your name?
Monica: (interrupting) I love it! Its huge!! Lets open it! Open it!! (Monica rips open the paper.)
[Scene: Joeys. Joey is playing fetch with the dog.]
Phoebe: Then its really too bad that you cant tell me.
Dr. Drake Ramoray: Well that sounds simple enough, lets just do that.
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey and Phoebe are entering to see if his picture is on the wall.]
Rachel: Uh! Its horrible!
Monica: (entering) Did I miss it? (Phoebe nods no.) Rachel, I-I want you to know that, if its positive, were gonna
Phoebe: I am soo dead. (goes to Monicas room)
Rachel: Oh, I mean shes gonna be at the wedding waiting for him and people will be whispering, "Oh that poor girl." Yknow? Then shell have to come back here and live all alone.
[The next one is from Episode 722: The One With Chandlers Dad.]
Cecilia: Im supposed to meet and hug a fan whose dying, but thats not supposed to be until (to no one in particular) later!
Mr. Geller: Ok, I have dandruff. Theres no need to laugh and point.
Aunt Lisa: So, hows married life treating you?
Monica: (runs over to her) I tried to reach you at work. Theres....been a fire.
Monica: Great! Were hangin in the kitchen! (She drags him into the kitchen and turns his back to the living room) Lets stay in the kitchen!
Joey: Look, Ross, really its-its no big deal. Yknow you wear a white coat, I wear a blue blazer, if that means we cant be friends at work, then so be it. Yknow, hey I understand. Yknow? Hey, when Im in a play and youre in the audience, I dont talk to you, right? So its yknow, its uh, its cool. Ill see you tomorrow. (Leaves)
Monica: Lets take a walk. (They start to leave.) Yknow maybe you should consider writing for Talking Out of Your Ass magazine! (They exit.)
Rachel: So whats the final head count on my baby shower?
Phoebe: I know. I know, whats her number?
(Theres a knock on door, and Phoebe opens it.)
Phoebe: No, thats not necessary.
Chandler: Thats great.
Chandler: Look, I appreciate it, but uh, its a little creepy. Yknow? Im not a bachelor anymore.
Rachel: Honey, its so sweet that you want me to stay, but I-I cant do that to you. I mean it would disrupt your entire life.
Trudie Styler: Oh Im sorry, Jacks father is not available.
Ross: Oh, you have to call the police! Thats what I did to the kids in my building!
Ross: All right then. (Gets up, in an announcers voice) Rachel Green! Lets play Bamboozled! (Reading from a note card.) How do you test the temperature of the babys bath water?
Monica: Shes still mad.
Rachel: No-no, its really not huge.
Doug: BingWhats this?! (Grabs his hand.)
(Theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it to Wayne.)
Phoebe: How about you less important people, lets open your presents!
Rachel: (holding Ben) Look Benny, spoon. (moves it back and forth) Spoon. Come on! All right, y'know what I think hes bored.
Woman: Its a diaper genie.
Woman: Its actually a bassinet.
Chandler: Well, last time I saw him he was heading out the door with the brides maid and a bucket of strawberries. So uh, youre not still upset about what that guy told ya are ya?
Rachel: No. Shes going to live with us for eight weeks.
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: Its not looking good.
Phoebe: No, its positive.
Mrs. Green: Oh no-no-no-no sweetheart, you stay put. Ill let myself out. Its like Im not here, which I almost wasnt.
Ross: Okay lets put aside that you (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) "accidentally" picked up my grandmothers ring and you (Does it again) "accidentally" proposed to Rachel.
Phoebe: Its just y'know, been a couple of hours, and she hasnt called. Not that I even care, y'know.
Rachel: Yeah but yknow what they say Mon, "Theres no such thing as bad press."
Chandler: Thats what I do now.
Rachel: (to everybody) All right, let’s get this party started, huh? Joey and Phoebe are gonna perform a little something for us.
Phoebe: What the smell from Joeys? No, I can hardly smell it over here.
Ross: Thats my gym.
Tag: (entering) Yeah? (She holds up the folder) You found them!! (Rachel is not amused, because shes still going to try to blame him for her mistake like every good boss.) Yknow what? Im not even going to gloat. Im just really relived this whole thing is over.
Monica: (entering quickly) Shes a hooker! Shes a hooker! Shes a (Stops as she sees her.) Hi! Uh, we spoke on the phone. (Goes and shakes the hookers hand.)
The Cooking Teacher: Thats very good, whats your name?
Phoebe: Okay I cant let you do this! Shes lying to you.
[Cut to Monica and Ross leaving Joey and Chandlers hotel room in London. As they exit Joey and Chandler enter from the bathroom with both of their pants down around their ankles.]