words in movies
Phoebe: Whats the big deal, yknow? Its not like its a real marriage.
{Transcibers note: In case you havent heard, Courteney Cox got married to David Arquette during hiatus and changed her name to Courteney Cox Arquette. But David was a busy boy during the off season for not only did he marry but everyone else as well. For theyre all listed as Jennifer Aniston Arquette, Lisa Kudrow Arquette, in an interesting twist Matt LeBlanc Arquette, Matthew Perry Arquette, David Schwimmer Arquette, and even the creators of the show are now David Crane Arquette and Marta Kauffman Arquette. I just wonder what the new sleeping arrangements are }
[Scene: Rachels hotel room, shes waking up with a horrendous hangover.]
(Suddenly, theres movement beside her, startling her. Its Ross! He wakes up and they both start screaming in terror. Then they both grab their heads having aggravated their hangovers.)
Joey: Nah, Im too depressed to eat. Ill probably eat in like 5 minutes. So I guess Ill just fly home with you guys, what times your flight?
Phoebe: I dont know, its such a long trip.
Chandler: Its a buffet man.
Joey: Oh, heres where I win all my money back! (Gets up and heads for the buffet table with Chandler in tow.)
Joey: Sure! Whats up? (He grabs a plate and proceeds to load it with a huge pile of scrambled eggs. Chandler just stares at him and Joey reluctantly gives him a spoonful.)
Joey: Oh my God! Thats huge! (Hugs him.) Wait a minute, why come I wasnt invited? And who was going to be your best man? Dont say, "Ross." Do not say, "Ross."
Joey: Oh! Tell her shes not marriage material.
Joey: Girls say it to me all the time! And believe me, if shes anything like me, shes just gonna be relieved.
Monica: How do I tell Chandler that its too soon. Its gonna break his heart, hes not gonna think that I dont love him anymore.
(They both sit down and Rachel pours them both some coffee. Theyre acting like nothings happened and everyone is just staring at them.)
Rachel: No, we didnt get married! Thats ridiculous!
Chandler: Well, I think, I think, Ross already has one. Now, this ones free, right? Because you paid for the first two, so the third ones free.
Ross: Laugh it up, but the jokes on you. Because we dont need to get divorced, okay? We were just gonna get an annulment.
Joey: An annulment? Ross! I dont think surgerys the answer here.
Phoebe: Oh-oh, thats your thing.
Ross: No-no, thats-thats not my thing! I do not love getting divorced!
Monica: Thats a good question. Look umm, last night we let the dice decide. Maybe we should leave it up to fate again. I love you!
Chandler: Yes, we dont get married unless theres a sign! Okay, so say uh, say you roll another eight (motions to the craps table) then theres a definite sign that we should get married.
Chandler: That was so unlikely. Well, lets get married! I guess.
Chandler: Thats right! It was the wrong kind of eight, no wedding! Damnit!
Monica: Ohh, of course we are! (They walk up to the elevators.) We left it up to fate. (Pushes the elevator button.) If we were supposed to get married there would be a clear-cut sign. (The elevator door opens to a priest reading from a bible with Chandler and Monica standing side-by-side holding each others hands.)
[Scene: Phoebes cab, Phoebe and Joey are driving back. Phoebe is driving while Joey is sleeping.]
Phoebe: Okay, you have 19 questions left. Use them wisely. (Joey groans.) Come on Joey! You cant win if you dont ask any (sees that hes asleep) QUESTIONS!!!
Phoebe: Yeah! And until then you are going to sing to me because the radios broken and you are selfish but have a nice voice.
[Time lapse, Phoebe is asleep, Joeys driving and having a hard time staying awake.]
[Time lapse, Phoebe is still asleep only Joey is now passed out next to her and the cars still moving. She wakes up, sees Joey, and screams.]
Ross: Okay, look, how is this gonna affect you? Really? I mean you fill some form out once and a while and instead of checking the box that says Ms you check the box that says Mrs.! Its right next to it!
Monica: Okay! Oh God, yknow what? Its really bad.
[Scene: Phoebes cab, shes driving, Joeys in the back seat, and the hitchhiker is riding up front with Phoebe.]
Phoebe: (To Joey) How could you pick up a hitchhiker?! He could be a rape(She holds her hand in front of the hitchhikers face), a rapist or a killer or something!
Ross: I dont know if its true.
Rachel: Oh Ross, come on! This is not, this is not a marriage!! This is the worlds worst hangover! Ross, listen, if you do not get this annulment, I will!
[Scene: Phoebes cab, its the same arrangement as before.]
Phoebe: And I have your name and the fact that youre a drifter, so the balls pretty much in your court.
Phoebe: Stop it! Stop it no! Thats not fair! Yknow I cant resist that beautiful voice!
Rachel: Huh, thats funny. You look like youre gonna be the
Monica: Im sick of the signs! Its too fast, Im happy the way things are!
Monica: All right then, then nothing changes! Everything is great! Everything stays the same! And you go unpack because its been three days and its driving me insane!
Chandler: Jeez, relax! Its not like were mar-ah-ah!! (Runs out.)
Monica: Heres your key (Gets him one.)
Monica: Heres your key. All right, you have to christen it! Now, go out and come back in!
Monica: No, its not a sign! Its a very old key!
Chandler: Its an old key!
Monica: Oh my God its old!
Ross: Oh, yeah, no problems. Its all taken care of.
Chandler: The keys stuck in the lock.
(Joey goes back into the apartment, runs back into the hallway, throws his shoulder against the door, and knocks it down off its hinges.)
Joey: Whats the rush? What?
Phoebe: Well Its a date.
Phoebe: We found your test in the trash, if youre not pregnant(She sees Rachel shaking her head)Its because I am.
Phoebe: No Dr. Skeptismo! Im sure. First of all, okay, theres the feeling. (Chandler shrugs) Okay, and for another, how about the fact that she went into my guitar case which is lined with orange felt. (Rachel nods her head in unsure agreement) My Mothers favourite fish is Orange Roughy... (Joey thinks he understands, but then nods that he has no clue.) Cats....like....fish! (Ross and Rachel are totally lost) (to the cat) Hi, Mommy. (Rachel covers her mouth, in an Oh my God. gesture) Oh, I havent seen this smile in 17 years!
[Cut to Chandler and Monicas as they enter.]
Chandler: Well thats not fair, youve already had some!
Ross: Hey, yknow whats weird? After you guys get married, when you introduce me to people youre gonna have to say, "This is my brother-in-law Ross." Not, "My friend Ross," "brother-in-law Ross." Thats weird isnt it?
Chandler: Hey! Honey, can I ask you a question about the Valentines Day gifts?
Monica: Yeah and if I had seven, maybe I wouldve said something like this, "Wow! My boyfriends such a wise assseven!"
Phoebe: Thats good. I got to admit, I thought it was something else.
Phoebe: Thats really beautiful. What does it mean?
Rachel: Honey, honey, Im sorry, I know its our anniversary but I told you on the phone I dont have time to stop.
Robin: Why is this happening to me?! I dont know, maybe its my wound.
Monica: (looking up) Ross, whens this comet thing start?
Monica: Okay its time for the toast! Umm now-now, I know that Ross usually gives the toast, but this year Im going to do it.
Phoebe: Yeah. I actually am, yeah. Y'know life-lifes gonna had you all kinds of stuff, y'know you learn your little lessons and hopefully you grow. Wanna hear a new song?
Terry: Im sorry Joey thats thats the way it is.
Chandler: (looking up with her) Thats a plane!
Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Rachel: Thats a good call. Right.
Joey: Then why are you wearing Monicas jacket?
Ross: That bitch! (He gets up and they go over to ambush Frannie. Monica taps on Frannies shoulder.)
Joey: (standing up) Yknow, theres two women dude.
Rachel: Oh, heres that trench-coat that you wanted.
Monica: Shes sleeping.
Monica: Why dont you just weigh out the good stuff about the relationship against the bad stuff. I mean thats what I did when I first (looks at Chandler and pauses) weighing stuff.
Chandler: Thats correct.
Phoebe: Oh! Heres Joseph Francis!
Phoebe: Hes just trying to show Joey how much he means to him.
Tag: If this is your idea of sexy talk? (Shakes his head that its not working.)
Rachel: So I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out. Its just so frustrating!
Ross: Yes! Thats where we realized we were both super cool people!
Director: Whats going on over here?
Announcer: From New York City, New York! Appearing in his Ultimate Fighting Championship debut! Hes known for his confrontational business style. Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing Pete Beck-errrr!!
Tag: Its my sister.
Elizabeth: So uh, Monica is Rosss sister.
Tag: Its not here.
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas, theyre getting ready to leave for the party.]
Rachel: Oh hey you. Thanks for coming out of me. (The baby cries.) I know. Oh. Yeah. Oh, shes looking at me. Hi! I know you.
Joey: Listen I uh (He takes her hand.) Its a scary world out there especially if youre a single mom. Yknow, I always felt like you and I have this-this special bond. Yknow? So, (gets down on one knee again) Rachel Green will you marry me?
Tall Guy: Shes nice, huh? To think I almost brought my wife to this!
[Scene: Phoebes apartment building, in desperation she has wrapped up the smoke detector in a blanket and is going to throw it into the trash chute.]
Rachel: (interrupting) And thats Im so glad theres no problem.
Joey: Yeah? Really? No ones home?
Chandler: Well its just while Monica and I were dancing to them it was the first time I knew that you were the woman I wanted to dance all my dances with.
Rachel: Well you have to because maybe its stupid.
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, a locksmith has finished changing the locks on Rosss door.]
Phoebe: Thats not mine.
Joey: But Jos got a crush on Laurie. (Ross nods his head) Oh. You mean its like a girl-girl thing? Cause that is the one thing missing from The Shining.
Joey: No-no! Im fine. Its just Hey, can I ask you something? Have you ever looked at someone that youve known for a while and then suddenly suddenly see them a different way?
Monica: Child-birth, its a natural thing! Its beautiful.
Rachel: Are you seriousReally?! Its in such good condition.
[Scene: Joeys Dressing Room, Joey and Chandler are there.]
Ross: I picked up the divorce papers. Uh, Ive already signed everything and I put little Xs where you need to sign.
Joey: Thats true.
Ross: Whats wrong with this year?
Ross: No, no, that wont be ah, that wont be necessary (leans down and looks up Roberts shorts, seeing Roberts package.)
Phoebe: Oh thats right!
Joey: Apparently, theres like a million guys out there that can play Mac, and theres only this one robot and this one guy who controls it! I didnt know he could get me fired! What am I going to do?
Woman: Uh, actually I find Marions views far to progressionist.
Phoebe Sr: Youre Erwins daughter?!
Phoebe: Oh my God! Thats the creep that youre with at the Statue of Liberty.
Ross: Wow! Great! (Finds a pack of cigarettes.) Wait, dad who-whos cigarettes are these?
Chandler: Oh, and dont get me wrong, I appreciate the sentiment. Its just that I, I have a rather, sensitive posterior, and ah, besides, its making all the other guys jealous.
Rachel: Thats weird.
Chandler: God, its great to catch up! I cant believe how long its been!
Rachel: Oh God, oh God, its sowed on though.
Bobby: You bet I am! (To Joey) And to answer your earlier question, were straight-up gangster rap. (Joey shakes his head as if hes about to lose it.)
Phoebe: Okay, I understand why Superman is here, but why is there a porcupine at the Easter Bunnys funeral?
Rachel: Hey, hows hows the uh, miracle chair?
Guy: (walking past Earls desk) Hey guy!
Phoebe: Yeah, hes gotta go.
Monica: I dont know, my hand feels weird. I guess its because, Im engaged! (Shows off the ring.) How long before it starts getting annoying?
Joey: All right, and over there is Bradys Pub where I like to unwind after a long day of surgeoning.
Mr. Geller: Oh look, look theres your old makeup kit!
Ross: Hi. (They shake hands.) Its nice to meet you. I used to have a friend named Joey. I dont anymore.
Carol: Ohh, yknow, Susans gonna be shooting a commercial in London next week.
Phoebe: This is so cool, til Monica gets back, its like Im head chef and I get to make all the decisions. (She looks at the remaining butter, and then decides to add it to the dish.)
Phoebe Sr: Take it easy--if you want, theres cookies on the counter, or, or--sangria! (jumps up) I can make sangria!
Joey: Thats right!
Joey: Wait-wait-wait-wait! (To Chandler) Come on! Come on, lets trade! The timings perfect, I just clogged the toilet!
Janice: (notices Monicas engagement ring) Ohh! What is that on your finger?! Im blind!
Rachel: Oh its important!
Joey: (thinking) All right. Its a new day, and its just a crush, thats all! Just a little crush! All that worrying I was doing, that was crazy. Crazy! Like my friend here the bird would say, "it was cuckoo!" Everythings going to be fine. Its just a crush.
Rachel: Oh, its the best! (They both exhale contemplating the joys of marriage.) So, umm hows Monica?
Monica: (opening it) Whats this?
Monica: Its your birthday!
Mrs. Waltham: (Slapping the phone into Joeys chest.) Joey theres a girl on the phone for you.
Alice: Y'know, I mean, really we do realise that theres an age difference between us.
Joey: Thanks, Rach. Look, you guys are just terrific. Yknow? Now, how about clearing out of here so I can get some new customers. Its all about turnover.
Tag: Phoebe! Thats a great name.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, breakfast is finished but Rachels still down.]
Ross: Thats right! Thats right, dont you play a woman?
Joey: A woman in a mans body.
Rachel: I have so got it. Theres gonna be rumours about this, theres no way to stop it. Sophie knows, Monica and Phoebe know.
Phoebe: (getting out) Okay, whos next?
Joey: So yknow Ross its funny cause, you look familiar to me too. Have you ever been married?
Joey: Thats great, but isnt it gonna bother that people still think youre a porn star?
Chandler: (To Joey) Would you put that back on?! Monicas gonna be here any minute!
Chandler: also I was the point person on my companys transition from the KL-5 to GR-6 system.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Everybody hide! Hide! I saw her! Shes coming!