words in movies
Joey: Okay Rach, that muffin and espresso, $4.50. Ross, double latte, $2.75. Chandler, coffee and a scone, $4.25. And Pheebs, herbal tea, $1.25. So, all together thats (pauses to figure the total) $12.75.
Joey: Oh thats on the house courtesy of Joey Tribbiani.
Joey: Well, hes not used to women being so forward with him; but uh, I good check with himHe says its okay. (She hands him her card.) Great! Thanks! Bye-bye!
Phoebe: Oh I do! (She grabs her huge purse and starts rummaging through it and taking out various items in a futile search for the gum.) Oh, yknow what? No. (Pause) Wait a second. (She removes a bag filled with water that has a goldfish swimming in it.) I know its in here somewhere.
Rachel: Honey, no one thinks youre a pansy, but we do think you need a tissue. (She notices something hanging from Monicas nose, as does Joey.)
Monica: Im fine-d. Im fine-d! Yknow, its a really hard word to say.
(Theres a knock on the door. The gang is stunned and Phoebe counts to make sure that everyone is there. Out of curiosity Chandler goes and answers the door.)
Rachel: And thats Phoebe (points), and thats Joey.
Phoebe: (To Ross) Which-which sister is this? Is this the spoiled one or thats bitter?
Jill: That he wouldnt pay for my lawyer! Then he told me to come here and learn about the value of money from the one daughter hes actually proud off.
Rachel: Oh! Did you hear that?! My dads proud of me! My dads proud of me.
Jill: Oh, thats so great! Okay, Im really gonna do this! I dont know how to thank you guys.
Joey: Well if its free food, how come youre charging me for it?
Gunther: We dont give anything away unless its someones birthday.
Phoebe: Seriously, I dont Rachels gonna think its a good idea.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Whats goin on?
Rachel: (notices Jills bags) Jill! Did you shop?!
Rachel: You went shopping?! What, and then you just came in here and paraded it right under Jills nose when you know shes trying to quit. Wow, you guys are terrible!
Ross: Its a rug. (Jill winces.)
Rachel: Oh, come on! You think thats gonna work on me?! I invented that!
Rachel: All right, its okay. One little setback is okay, just dont let it happen again, all right? Now since daddy paid for all this stuff, I should take it all away. But Im just gonna take the-the pajmena. (Ross hands it to her.) And the uh, and the uh pants. Yknow what, Im just gonna take it all away, cause that way youll just really learn the lesson. Okay? All righty, Im gonna run a couple of errands and I will see you at dinner. (Leaves with all of Jills stuff.)
Jill: (gasps) Thats the best one! Oh my God, (hugs him) thank you so much!
Monica: Okay, so what do you, what do you want to do? Lets do something crazy!
Chandler: I know, lets rest and drink lots of fluids. (Holds up a glass of orange juice.)
Chandler: Dont take this personally okay? Its just that I just cant have sex with a sick person.
Monica: Im with you Chandler! I mean I cant have sex with a sick person either, thats disgusting! But Im not sick! Let me prove it to you. We are two healthy people in the pribe of libe.
Chandler: Thats the thing, see I would like to stay in the pribe of mwha-ah-libe.
Rachel: Whats up?!
Phoebe: Umm, I think theres something you should maybe know.
Phoebe: No. No. Its just I was umm, I was with Ross and Jill after you left and umm, Im pretty sure I saw a little spark between them.
Phoebe: Yeah I mean its probably nothing, but I just wanted to warn you that there might be something there.
Joey: Its just I cant because my manager said I (Gets an idea) (Starts singing) "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Annie
A Male Customer: Hey, thats weird, todays my birthday too!
Jill: (entering) Sorry Im late, whats up?
Jill: No! I mean hes nice.
Jill: Hes the kind of guy youre friends with, yknow? But hes not the kind of guy you date. Hes the kind of guy youd date because you did. Me, not so much.
Jill: Oh no-no-no, hes just I dont know, hes just a little bookish.
Rachel: Are-are you saying hes a geek?
Jill: Fine, then lets just say hes not my type.
Rachel: Oh no-no-no, no-no-no, thats not what I meant.
Rachel: Yeah but, hes not your type.
Jill: Yeah but maybe thats a good thing. Yknow Im doing all these different sorts of things, and maybe I should try dating a geek too!
Chandler: Oh what is it honey, you need some tea? Some soup? (He gets up from the couch and goes into the bedroom to find Monica, still in the robe, lying seductively on the bed. Or at least shes trying too and as he enters the room, she takes the robe off on of her legs.) Oh-ohhhh!
Chandler: I was asleep. (She takes off her robe and starts to shiver) Oh no! No-no honey! Yknow whats sexy? Layers. Layers are sexy. And blankets are sexy. And oh! Hot water bottles are sexy.
Joey: What? No-no its her birthday!
Ross: Oh wow! I mean, wow! I mean, I-I-I think shes cute but I-I would never have thought of going out with her, never!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still sick and is hobbling out into the living room for some help from Chandler whos on the couch reading.]
Chandler: Its nice.
Chandler: Its all very, very good. (She covers up and sits down.) So you wanna go uh, mix it up?
Jill: This is where Ross and I are meeting for our date. So, what do you think? (She spins to show Rachel the outfit shes wearing.)
Rachel: Its kinda slutty.
Jill: Its yours!
Rachel: Yeah I know, and I bet you thought it would be weird. But its not!
(Theres an awkward silence.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel enters and walks quickly over to the window to watch Rosss apartment. We see that Rosss apartment is empty.]
Rachel: Oh yes, its me! Sorry!
Monica: (entering with Chandler) Who? (She looks out the window at Rosss apartment) Is that your sister?
Rachel: Oh my God, look-look hes taking off her clothes!
Chandler: Hes taking off her coat!
(We see that Ross is taking off Jills coat.)
Monica: Oh no its not, no its not. Its a first date. Im sure that nothing is gonna (as she is talking we see Ross close his drapes.)
Chandler: Ho-oh, hes gonna get some! (Rachel looks at him.) Of the glare from the streetlight out of his apartment. Yknow so umm, hes closed the drapes there so he can have a nice, pleasant conversation with your little sister. (Pause) Well, Im off to bed! (Goes to bed.)
Phoebe: Oh, so this is all about money! Yknow its bad enough thatOw! Oh, you have got to be kidding!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is interviewing a potential roommate. And yes, shes a female, non-smoker and very non-ugly.]
Chandler: Okay, there are no famous Joeys. Except for, huh, Joey Buttafucco.
Ross and Joey: Oh! Thats nice.
Monica: Y'know if its any consolation, he really did sound like he was having more fun with you. (Rachel nods in agreement)
Joey: He said that he wasnt gonna apologize because you guys are living here illegally, so instead what hes gonna do is have you evictedIll see you later.
Monica: Its pretty clear.
Julie: Thats why you broke up with me?
Announcer: And his opponent, from Hunnington Beach, California! Hes a 300 pound street fighter, Tank Abbottttttt!!!!
Rachel: Why? Is he? He is! Isnt he? Hes dating that slut in marketing!
Chandler: So this is nice! I wish I didnt have to go, believe me! But unfortunately I have to. (He gets up and Joey moves over next to Ross.) Oh uh, by the way, whats the name the girl youre dating?
Rachel: Hmm. Do you thinkCould you tell me if shes hanging in, in a one bedroom or a two?
[Scene: Rachels Office, Tag is arriving as Rachel is standing there.]
Phoebe: Oh thats so sweet thanks.
Ross: Oh no-no, after you. (She grabs a chair and heads upstairs.) (When shes gone.) Oh my God! (He drops the box and Chandler cant pick it up.)
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe are there. Phoebes cell phone rings and she goes through her little routine of lighting a cigarette before answering the phone.]
Monica: (entering) Hey, whats going on?
Joey: (checks in the window to make sure it has them) Its got em!
Elizabeth: Oh. Well, so we have to hide our relationship from one more person. Big deal. Besides, its kinda fun hiding.
Kathy: Cute assistant! Whats his story? Is he
[cut back to Rachels bedroom with both of them hurriedly getting dressed]
Ross: What is Monicas biggest pet peeve?
Monica: I know!! (calls him) (on phone) Chip? Hi! Its Monica. (listens) Kay. (listens) Kay. (listens) Okay. (listens) Okay, good-bye. (hangs up) Oh my God, we just had the best conversation!! (goes into her room as Rachel enters)
Joeys Date: Hi!
Joeys Date: You must be Rachel, Im Erin.
Chandler: Wow thats actually pretty cool.
Joey: Why? (In Drakes voice.) Why cant the world stop turning, just for a moment? Just for us?
Phoebe: (Looking relieved. She puts down the phone.) Oh thank god. Oh, you changed your mind. Oh, look I know you probably want to be alone, and you dont want to talk about it, thats fine. I just want you to know, I think you are doing the right thing and...
The Colonel: OH MY GAWD!!!! (Yep, its Janice.)
Janice: So, whos the lucky guy?
Ross: Well, if hes angry, he really shouldnt just cover it up. I-I wish he would just tell me the truth.
Ross: What?! What is with everybody? Its Thanksgiving, not...Truth-Day!
Mrs. Geller: (pointing to herself and Jack) Well we left ours in Monicas bedroom.
Joey: Hey! Whats up?
Chandler: Well, the movie was great, dinner was great, and theres nothing like a cool, crisp New York evening.
Chandler: You cant just call Monicas room.
Chandler: Ahh, Hotties of the Paleontology Department, theres a big selling calendar, eh?
Rachel: Well now whats the rush?
Joey: Whos birthday party?
Erin: Whats wrong?
Rachel: Well look whos here!
Joey: Sounds great! Okay all right, well where does this go? (The lamp hes holding.)
Joey: Hey! Its my fashion girls! (They dont react.) Whats wrong?
Monica: Its actually going to be just family.
Erin: Yeah, lets go.
Joey: Thats right, all the ladies want to stay at Joeys.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's. Ross lays a lot off small papers, shaped like the U.S. states onto the floor making a map with the states. Phoebe enters]
Chandler: Its my joke.
Paul: Thats exactly what my dad used to say! (Starts to breakdown again.)
[Cut to Monica and Chandlers, Rachel is entering.]
Ross: Well sorry, thats what I do on dates.
[Scene: A judges chambers, Rachel and Ross are filing their annulment papers.]
Phoebe: I cant believe that! Now the only thing left of my grandmothers legacy is this crumb. (She picks it up with her finger and holds it out to Monica.) I wish you a long and happy marriage.
Phoebe: Thats right, you just enjoy.
Ross: (To Katie) Yeah, Im just gonna grab my coat. And uh, and my whip. (Katie looks worried.) Yknow because of the Indiana Jones? (Katie laughs) Not-not because Im-Im into S&M. (Katies worried again.) Im not-Im not into anything weird. Yknow? Just-just normal sex. (Katie is uncomfortable.) So, Im gonna grab my coat. (Does so, leaving Katie and Rachel alone.)
Doug: Bing! (Chandler stands bolt upright and turns around to face him.) Read your Computech proposal, a real homerun. (He goes to slap his butt, but Chandler slides over making him miss.) Ooh. Barely got ya that time, get over here. Come on. (Chandler goes over) Wham! (slaps him on the butt) Good one. That was a good one. (to a couple of Chandlers co-workers) Keep at it team. (goes into his office)
Joey: Well, maybe thats because youre closer to you. So you look bigger to you from where you are.
Rachel: YeahNo wait! Joey no wait it is. Its something. Its-its umm its my boss.
Elizabeth: No, its a water balloon fight! We started it!
Rachel: So hows it goin with Joey?
Joey: Yeah, lifes pretty great isnt it?
Monica: Yeah! Shes right in there! (Points to Phoebes room.)
Joey: I went back to Riffs. I think Ursula likes me. All I ordered was coffee, she brought me a tuna meltt and four plates of curly fries.
Ross: No thats not what I want. Uh, Im glad you guys were bonding but I
Kate: No, thats not it. So, youre a soap actor? Well this must be pretty exciting for you to be in a real play, hmm?
Monica: Oh yeah, whats the plan?
Waitress: Hey Monica, theres a customer who wants to complement the chef, should I let him in?
Rachel: (entering) Forgot my purse! (Sees them kissing.) Oh, you guys made up. (To Mona) Hes a good kisser isnt he? (Ross goes to close the door on her.) Im going! (Quickly leaves and Ross locks the door.)
Phoebe: (looking in the window) Right, oh yeah. Wow, oh, it looks like Ross is breaking up with her. Uff, I hope he lets her down easy. Lets go.
Monica: Joey, whats going on. What didnt you tell us you work here?
Ross: By the way, the week before your wedding you may not see a lot of me. (She glares at him and he quickly makes his way to Phoebes room.)
Melissa: Hey! Isnt that Tags backpack.
Joey and Chandler: Yeah, thats her.
Ross: Thats it, your doing great.
Tag: Thats kinda sad.
Rachel: Lets roll!
Ross: Hey, theres uh, some people outside, askin about candy.
[Scene: Phoebes, Phoebe is opening the door.]
Joey: Whats up buddy?
Joey: Well, its good thing you got out when you did, before she blew up like that Vesuvius.
Monica: All right, all right! Lets just cut to the chase, okay? (To Phoebe) Youre single. (To Tim) Youre single. (To Phoebe) He gets off work at eleven. (To Tim) Shell be waiting for your call. (To Phoebe) Ill give him your number if I can get one calamari and one Caesar salad!! (Everyone in the kitchen stops.) I did not yell. I am not putting a dollar in the jar.
Ross: Hey! Whats up?
Chandler: Then free as a bird. Whats up?
Joey: Wow, thats in like 20 minutes. Youd better get dressed.
Ross: Its a great class.
Rachel: (stopping at Phoebes entrance) Ha!
Phoebe: So hes probably really nervous around women, y'know? Maybe, you just have to make the first move.
[Scene: N.Y.Us University Library, Ross is entering with Chandler.]
Monica: Absolutely! (He goes to kiss her, but she stops him and rubs his head and says...) Now get out of here you!! (Pete leaves) (to the gang) Okay, Im running out of places I can touch him! Look, is there something wrong with me? I mean why am I only attracted to guys where theres no future? Either theyre too old, or theyre too young, and then theres Pete whos-whos crazy about me, and whos absolutely perfect for me, and theres like zip going on! I mean, seriously, does it sound like somethings wrong with me?!
Monica: Joey, youre this guys teacher. I mean how could you do this?
Joey: (entering, wearing the maternity pants from earlier) All right wheres that turkey!
Ross: Because its the highest. (Joey shrugs his shoulders) Okay, Rachel youre up first. (Rachel stands up and gets ready.) Situation No. 1: Youre with Monica, the wedding is about to start when Monica gets cold feet. Go! (Joey is playing the part of Monica.)
Chandler: Its a sock bunny.
Rachel: Oh sorry didnt mean to interrupt. Its just such a beautiful space; do you do a lot of weddings here?
Joey: (glances at Richard) No. Nope, I uh I thI thought it might be kind of a cool character thing. Yknow? Hes uh, hes a face toucher. (Behind his back, Richard is nodding no.)
Chandler: Well, I could make it seem like hes here. (Imitates him.) "Heres some little known facts about cous-cous. They didnt add the second cous until 1979." (Mumbles something further.)
Doug: So thanks for the warm welcome. Its good to have you guys on my team, and I come to play. I hope you do too. Now, lets go out there and get em! Huh? And remember, there is no I in team.
Ross: Thats right.
Joey: (thinking) All right. Its a new day. All that stuff about Rachel, you dont feel that now. It was crazy! Youre fine. Youre better than fine! You are, as your friend Tony would say, Grrrreat! Everythings normal! Shes just your friend Rachel! Your friend Rachel. Your friend! Rachel.
Joey: You spent a hundred dollars. Thats the limit. Youre screwed!