words in movies
Joey: Oh, its this big budget period movie about these three Italian brothers who come to America around the turn of the century. Its really classy! Oh, and the director is supposed to be the next, next Martin Scorcese.
Joey: Yeah, theres this guy from Chicago whos supposed to be the next Martin Scorcese, all right? But then this guys right after him. (Joeys cell phone rings and he answers it.) Hello!
Estelle: Joey! Its Estelle! I just talked to the casting people; they loved you!
Estelle: Theres just one thing. Do you have a problem with full frontal nudity?
Phoebe: Whats the matter?
Joey: I know! My grandmothers gonna see this!
Phoebe: Grandmas gonna have to get in line.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, (although its really just Monicas now with Matthew Perry in rehab) Monica is folding her laundry with Ross reading the paper and Phoebe standing in the kitchen.]
Monica: Yeah. But a part of me also cant wait til its over. Chandler and I have this pact not to have sex again until the wedding.
Monica: Ross, shes 25 years old.
Joey: I dont know! Its not like its porn! This is a serious, legitimate movie. Yknow? And the nudity is really important to the story.
Monica: Thats what you say about porn.
Joey: Well thats true. And I am only naked in one scene. Plus it sounds really great. My characters catholic and he falls in love with this Jewish girl. Who run away together and they get caught in this big rainstorm. So we go into this barn and undress each other and hold each other. Its really sweet and-and tender.
Monica: Plus, everyones gonna see your thing. (Giggles.)
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe and Rachel are trying to plan Monicas shower.]
Phoebe: Well thats only two days away. What is the other option?
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe, this is impossible! We cant do this by Friday! We have to find a place. We have to invite people! We have to get food! Theres just too much to do! Its impossible! We cant do it! We cannot do it! We cannot do it!
Chandler: Thats me! Come on!
Ross: What?! Chandler shes our cousin!
Chandler: I was not staring at her. Okay? I was just listening intently. Its called being a good conversationalist. Watch. (Stares at Monicas eyes.) Say something.
[Scene: A Casting Directors Office, Joey is entering for his callback.]
Joey: Wow! Sure! Thats great!
Joey: Yeah! Yeah sure, just long as its handled tastefully and that barn is not too cold.
The Casting Director: Terrific! Well uh, theres one more thing. Uhh, uh its really important to the director that everything in this movie is authentic. Yeah and so in your love scene with Sarah she talks about how shes never seen a naked man who wasnt Jewish. So (Laughs.)
Joey: Thats right.
Monica: Wow! Wow! And its definitely all gone? Theres nothing there to work with? (Joey glares at her.) What were you thinking?
Phoebe: Hey! Ive got a great idea for party favors for the shower. Okay, we get some uh mahogany boxes and carve everyones names in them and inside is everyones individual birth stone.
Phoebe: Okay. Okay! Well okay, who do we know thats coming? Me. Are you?
Rachel: Hey! Whats up Mon?
Monica: No its umm, more like a wrap. Okay so uh, Im gonna go guys.
Rachel: (To Phoebe, after Monicas gone) We have to get her a present?!
Phoebe: Okay but look! Look at what I got! Its her address book! (Holds it up.) We have a guest list!
Cassie: (hugs him) Its been so long! Last time I saw you, you were setting up your tent in line to see Return of the Jedi.
Ross: Oh. Oh, thats right. So-so you did see me that day because it seemed like you didnt.
Ross: Its okay. Come, come on in.
Cassie: Thanks for letting me stay here! I mean Monicas place was nice, but her fiancee sure stares a lot.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Cassie is eating dinner and Ross is pacing behind her because of what shes eating.]
Cassie: Ill always remember that summer, because its when I got all of these freckles. (She pulls her blouse open to show him her shoulder and bra strap.)
Ross: (looking then moving away quickly) Uh-huh! Uh-huh! And-and-and Ill always remember that summer because thats when I realized that we are related.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, its Monicas bridal shower and Phoebe is passing out some finger food.]
Phoebe: Thank you. (To the other woman) No? (She nods.) All right. (She goes to another pairing.) Oh, its so nice to see you.
Rachel: Well, I dont know. I called all the people in Monicas phone book and these are the only ones who could show up on 24 hours notice.
Phoebe: Hmm, yknow theres another word for people like that. Losers!
Woman: Im very interested to find out whos been doing her taxes these last four years.
Rachel: Thats great!
Monica: Okay? (To a different group) Over here we have pink suede, which is nice. But umm, if it gets wet then you know its gonna shrink.
Monica: I also, did a little something in fur. But umm, thats really just for me. (Rubs it against her cheek.) Okay. So, why dont you go into your room and try these on and well seeget a better idea of whats gonna work.
Joey: The Silly Putty! Its not so silly anymore!
Ross: (in his head) Shes your cousin. Shes your cousin! If she knew what was going on in your head shed think you were sick! (She grabs some popcorn.) Or would she? Lets back up a second. She was the one who suggested opening a bottle of wine. She was the one who turned down the lights. She was the one that wanted to rent Logans Run, the sexiest movie ever. (She grabs the blanket from behind him and looks at him.) Oh, I know that look. Forget it. I want it. She wants it. Im going in.
Monica: Phoebe! Rachel! Its Monica! I wonder what you could possibly need me for on such short notice! (She bursts into the apartment to find only Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch.) Oh.
Monica: Well no wait a minute thats not true! No, what did, that was really sweet. And it kinda works out for the best.
[Scene: The casting directors office, Joey is there to show off to the director, so to speak.]
Joey: And whats cool is, the character is from Naples, right?
Joey: My whole familys from Naples!
The Director: Oh thats great! Okay, well Ive heard everything I need to hear. I just need to uh, Leslie
Joey: Oh! Hey right! Not a problem. (He starts taking off his clothes.) I totally understand. You need to yknow make sure I dont have any horrible scars or tattoos. Dont you worry; I have nothing to hide. (He drops his pants and stands back up and looks down.) So there you go, thats me. (We cut to a camera angle looking at the casting director and movie director through Joeys legs.) One hundred percent natural! (Suddenly, theres a thud as something falls off.) (Everyone is shocked.) I tell ya, that has never happened before.
Phoebe: (in her head) Say something! Say anything! Ask her out! Shes not your cousin!
Phoebe: Wait, am I missing something though? Cause I thought death was something thats supposed to be sad, in a way.
Joey: (To Chandler) (laughing) Funny one! Thats good!
Monica: Thats right. (A noise comes from the living room.) Did you hear something?
Ross: Yes. I mean, its what we always planned. And if you have a plan, you should stick to it. Thats why they call them plans. Hello? (Pause) Im fine.
Rachel: Ohh, theres a picture of her in the yearbook actually.
Phoebe: I KNOW THAT!!! You have to stop her!! Shes going to ruin the wedding!!
Rachel: Hi! Hey, Happy Valentines Day!
Kathy: Why not? Whats going on?
Phoebe: Do you think thats something that hed be mad at you for?
Ross: Listen, Im ah, Im sorry Ive been so crazy and jealous and, its just that I like you a lot, so...
Richard: The bedroom. Well its pretty much your typical... (opens the door as Monica hides under the covers, and quickly closes the door before his date can see the room.) bedroom.
[Scene: Rachels office, Phoebe hands Rachel a key card.]
Ross: (notices the table) HeyOoh! Whats-whats that, dinner stuff? You making dinner?
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, its the one with the fake chocolate. Monica has baked some cookies and Phoebe is trying them.]
Alice: Phoebes right Frank. I know its hard to hear, but it wouldve been wrong to go through with it. I-I-I was being selfish, even though we, we want the same things now, in the future we may not. (to Phoebe) Is that it, is that what it is?
Rachel: Of course its true and it hurts so bad.
Chandler: Well he doesnt have to know! Its not like we run in the same circles. I hang out with you guys, and he stars in a drag show in Vegas.
Joey: Thats not fair! I cant do that.
Chandler: Roberts coming out.
Chandler: Yes, yes, its just that we ah, we kinda all ready, made plans with Ross.
Tag: Well, its not out here. Is there any chance it could be in your office?
[Scene: Joshuas parents apartment, continued from earlier.]
Monica: Oh no, shes still at work, but she told me to tell you to call her.
[Scene: Treegers apartment, Joey knocks and Mr. Treeger opens the door.]
(Rachel turns and looks at the group on the couch and they move over. Chandler measures the room theyve made with his arm and decides its not enough and they all move over again.)
Rachel: Okay. Okay honey, hes fine, hes fine, lets just put him down. Come here, Ben. (sets him on the couch) See thats a good boy. (to Monica) How could you do that to him!! Ross trusted me, what is he going to say?!
Chandler: Oh, thats uh, thats pretty nice but Im gonna go with the one I picked first.
Ross: Thats the day youre gonna die? Seedarnit, Ive got shuffleboard that day.
Joey: Right, and you go with Rachel, Bonnies free tonight?
Chandler: Thats awesome! Thats great! What made you do it?!
Phoebe: Yeah! Its not like it spits out a Clark bar after every game.
Ross: All right here. Watch me execute the three Ps of championship play. Power. (swings the racquet) Precision. (swings the racquet.) and penache. (does a backswing and hits Sarah whos started up the stairs, knocking her down, they both watch in horror.)
Phoebe: Okay, I guess. I mean I dont know, its just, I guess I know its going to be over soon.
Phoebe: (seeing him) Okay, nows not the time Joey. All right? You can yell at me tomorrow.
Ross: Oh no! That-thatll just bring me down! This was great! I mean I-I-I was great! This is a great day! Yknow what? Im buying everyone coffee. All right? If someone would just grab my wallet, its in my pocket.
Joey: Well, its complicated. Shes with this other guy. For a long time. Someone from work, too. And I could never do that to the guy, because were really good friends.
Eric: I dont think they have a name for it. Its just I get nervous; I start sweating like crazy.
Phoebe: Okay, okay. Its James Brolin. James Brolin is the father of my baby.
Rachel: Yeah, but its okay, because when Ross left Mark came over.
Rachel: But ah, youre safe from it if its in the freezer?
Dr. Green: Who is the father? Oh no! Please dont tell me its her! (Points at Phoebe.)
Ross: (disappointed) Thats cool.
Chandler: (whispering in Joeys ear) The reason he just said.
Ross: How weird is that? Yknow? Youre moving in with me and have the one thing I dont have. Its like uh, in a way you-you complete me (Phoebe glares at him) kitchen.
Rachel: Well, someone was supposed to write "Rach, take down the lights" and put it on the re... frigerate... (finally noticing Monicas note stuck to the refrigerator) How long has that been there?
Ross: Yknow what? Maybe, Mrs. Green, its not absolutely vital that you live with us.
Chandler: Yeah, hes made phone calls, written letters, he even came to New York, but I always said I was too busy to see him. Yknow its all very Cats in the CradleI dont want to get into it. (The show starts.) Here we go.
Rachel: Oh please, I hate packing, its closer to work, and we do have fun. Although, Im really gonna miss living with you.
Phoebe: No!! wait, wait, wait!! Oh please, hold it up so I can listen. (Joey looks at Ross and holds the phone above Rosss shoulder.)
Rachel: I thought this might happen today. Ross, I know the holidays can be rough. Yknow? And its probably really hard for you to be alone right now.
Rachel: Oh, and somebody can get those leather pants shes always wanted!
Monica: You may be okay about getting hurt, but I am not okay with being the one who hurts you. Thats why I cant take this job.
Joey: Theres the waitress. Excuse me, Miss. Hello, Miss?
Ross: Look, its just did, did you ever go to a party and think, "Would really anyone miss me if I werent here?"
Pete: Okay, yeah. I mean... If thats, if thats really what you want, okay.
[cut to Joey as Estelle, Joeys agent, approaches]
Monica: Alright, you know what? Thats it. Youve had your chance.
Joey: Wow Dennis Phillips! Thats great! How did you guys meet?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bathroom, the scene is continued from earlier.]
Monica: (hangs up) I dont think this numbers right!
Emily: Oh, but the partys only just getting started!
Rachel: I know. (Starts to cry) Yeah, see, theres so much to do and I have so little time to do it in.
Ross: Sweetie, calm down, its gonna be okay.
Phoebe: No, its just that he got this new like home theater dealie, and he wants y'know, us to check it out.
Joey: Well, its not a part, no. Im teaching acting for soap operas down at the Learning Extension.
Monica: Rach, hes a friend of ours.
Joey: It was so stupid, I said some stuff in an interview that I shouldnt have said. But believe me, thats not gonna happen today.
Joeys Head: Okay, it all comes down to this. Whatever happens, happens. Destiny.
Phoebe: Yeah, um, I cant fly. Im having my brothers babies.
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, no, I dont, I dont know. But, y'know what, maybe its just all for the best?
Ross: Well, yeah, kinda. Um, but thats okay, see we have an understanding, um, see we each have this list of five famous people, (gets his out) so Im allowed to sleep with you. No, no, no, its flattery.
Ross: (answering the phone) Hello? (Listens) Hey Mon, hows the packing going? (Listens) Ben? Hes fine. Yeah, hes rightOh my God! (He looks over at the fake Ben and notices that the head has fallen off.) Get your head of your shirt there son! (He tries to push the pumpkin through the neck hole.) What? (Listens) Yeah, its a pumpkin. Ill come pack.
[Cut to Central Perk, Ross is taking Ben to visit Rachel whos working there.]
Joey: What theyre not invited?! Oh no, thats terrible! Theyre gonna be crushed!
Phoebe: Ooh! How was Kathys play?
Monica: Lets go big bunny!
Chandler: (angrily) I dont think thats what they were talking about Joe!!
Eric: Hi, Im Eric, Im gonna be Chandlers new roommate.
Monica: Pulling what? Its second down.
Waiter: It�s just that we do have some large parties waiting.
C.H.E.E.S.E: You can say that again Mac.
Phoebe: Thats so funny to think if youd just done that right after the last contest, no one would have had to move at all.
Rachel: Oh honey, dont worry. I really do feel like tomorrows the day.
Monica: Wow! Thats great! Dad must really like you, he doesnt ask just anyone to play.
Ross: I meanno, its just cause, its just cause you and I were like a nightmare. (Screams.) No, but there was some good times.
Phoebe: Isnt it funny how we kept running into each other? Its as if someone really wants us to be together.
(Joeys cell phone rings and he answers it.)
Phoebe: Look everyone, its the spirit of Thanksgiving!
[Scene: Rosss Building, they are approaching the apartment of the woman who died. Ross knocks on the door and a woman answers it.]
Ross: I dropped him off at Carols. (To Phoebe) Anyway, it turns out that Im not going to be able to get those tickets though.
Monica: Okay, look at this one. This is my favourite. (Its a little pink and white dress for the girl baby.)
Rachel: Ooh, Phoebes here! Okay, lets turn out all the lights and well just watch the movie!
Chandler: Come on Monica, its our Valentines Day. Please? Please-please, please?
Rachel: Yeah, I cant live with Joey once the baby comes. I dont want my childs first words to be, (in a babys voice) "How you doin?"
[Scene: Elizabeths apartment, she is packing for her trip as Ross watches.]
Ross: (showing them the page) Here, check it out. Its the first one, too.
Phoebe: I dunno, lets see! So, okay, I dreamt that we were gonna get married, and he left, becuz he had to go fight a fire. And, um, so okay, I went to a night club, and I saw him making out with a girl.
Phoebe: No! No! Its just that he gave me three tickets and there are six of us!
[Scene: Joey and Rachels, Joey is sitting behind a red drum set.]
Phoebe: Ewww! And "Oh no!" Itsthey just want me to be the surrogate. Its her-its her egg and her sperm, and Im-Im just the oven, its totally their bun.