words in movies
Phoebe: Oh, Ross, Mon, is it okay if I bring someone to your parents anniversary party?
Joey: So, whos the guy?
Phoebe: Yeah, hes really great though. He has this incredible zest for life, and he treats me like a queen, except at night when he treats me like the naughty girl I am.
Monica: Yes! Every year Ross makes the toast, and its always really moving, and always makes them cry. Well this year Im going to make them cry.
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas, theyre getting ready to leave for the party.]
Chandler: Its a dog.
Monica: Its a dead dog. Thats Chi-Chi; she died when I was in high school.
Chandler: Its your parents anniversary and youre going to talk about their dead pet?
Monica: You got a present for my parents. Thats so sweet.
Ross: (picking up Chi-Chis picture) Aww! Chi-Chi! Oh, I loved this dog! Yknow Monica couldnt get braces because Chi-Chi needed knee surgery.
Monica: Thats my old dog. He passed away years ago.
Parker: Oh well, at least you were lucky to have him. Bow-wow old friend, bow-wow. So wheres the party?
Monica: Its out on the island. Its in Massapequa.
Parker: Maaaassapequa, sounds like a magical place. Tell me about Massapequa, is it steep in Native American history? {Transcribers Note: Interestingly Alec Baldwin was born in Massapequa.}
Ross: Well, there is an Arbys in the shape of a tee-pee.
Ross: Thats a good question, dad. Thats a good question
Mrs. Geller: Can we talk to you for just a yknow Its just a little thing. Well we think its absolutely marvelous that youre having this baby out of wedlock, some of our friends are less open-minded. Which is why weve told them all that youre married.
Rachel: No, I know I dont either, but ya know what, its their party, and its just one night. And we dont even have to lie; we just wont say anything. If it comes up again, well just smile. Well nod along.
Uncle Dan: Heres a little something to get you started. (Hands them a check)
Aunt Lisa: So, hows married life treating you?
Parker: What a beautiful place. What a great night! I have to tell you, being here with all of you in Event Room C I feel so lucky. I think of all the good times that have happened here. The birthdays, the proms, the mitzvahs both bar and bat, but none of them will compare with tonight! My God, I dont want to forget this moment! Its like I want to take a mental picture of you all! Click! (He takes a mental picture of them all.)
Parker: Dahaaa! (Punches Chandler in the arm and he makes a face of pain.) Im going to find the mens room, be right back.
Phoebe: So, he a little enthusiastic, whats wrong with that?
Monica: Its just that, its so much.
Phoebe: Well, so what I like him! Do I make fun of the people youve dated? Tag, Janice, Mona? No, because friends dont do that. But, do you want my opinion? Do you want it? Cause in my opinion, your collective dating record reads like the whos who of human crap. (Walks off)
Rachel: Yeah, Stevies an old family friend. (Hits Rosss chest)
Parker: And Im with you! What a great time to be alive! Look at this plate-bouncy thing. (Bounces the plates) What an inspired solution to mans plate dispensing problems.
Phoebe: No, thats not necessary.
Rachel: Oh yeah. Thats a great story.
Ross: Well, um, actually, I-I took her to the planetarium. Thats-thats where we had our first date. Um, she walked in and I had the room filled with lilies, her favorite flower
Joey: Yeah uh, Phoebe! Look umm, I want to apologize about before, okay? We were being jerks. Parkers a nice guy and Id like to get to know him.
Phoebe: You guys were right. Hes just too excited about everything. I mean Im all for living life, but this is the Gellers 35th anniversary. Okay? Lets call a spade a spade this party stinks.
Joey: I guess it couldve been, I didnt really look at it. Yknow, I just wiped it on Chandlers coat and got the hell out of there.
Phoebe: Hes just such a great guy Im so excited about him.
Joey: Oh hey, you should be excited about him. Theres nothing wrong with him hes a good guy.
Phoebe: Youre right. Youre right, hes just embracing life. We could all stand to be a little more like Parker. You know what? I am like him! Im a sunny, positive person.
Phoebe: Whats that now?
Phoebe: Oh look its Parker!
Parker: Look! Its the bunny hop!
Monica: Okay its time for the toast! Umm now-now, I know that Ross usually gives the toast, but this year Im going to do it.
Monica: No, no its going to be great. Really! Mom, Dad, when I got married, one of the things that made me sure I could do it was the amazing example the two of you set for me. For that and so many other things I want to say thank you. I know I probably dont say it enough, but I love you. (Pretends to cry hoping her parents will join her.) When I look around this room, Im-Im saddened by the thought of those who could not be here with us. Nana, my beloved grandmother who would so want to be here, but she cant because shes dead. As is our dog Chi-Chi. I mean look how cute she is. (Holds up the picture and pretends to cry again). Was. (To an old man by the stage.) Do me a favor and pass this to my parents. Remember shes dead. Okay, her and Nana, gone. Wow! Hey does anybody remember when Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in Terms of Endearment? (Chandler covers his ears) Didnt see that? No movie fans?! You want to hear something sad? The other day I was watching 60 Minutes these orphans in Romania, who have been so neglected, they were incapable of love. (Waits for people to cry, but doesnt get any tears.) You people are made of stone! Heres to mom and dad! Whatever!
Ross: Oh, no, Mom, its just Monica this year.
Mr. Geller: I just wish Nana were alive to hear Rosss toast.
[Scene: Phoebes apartment, Parker and her are entering.]
Parker: Its a haven. A third-floor paradise. A modern-day Eden in the midst
Phoebe: Lets try something else, lets play a game.
Phoebe: Shocking! Lets play the game of who can stay quiet the longest. (Giggles)
Phoebe: But, lets play this one first. And remember whoever talks first loses!
Parker: Im sorry thats who I am. Im a positive person.
(Theres a knock on door, and Phoebe opens it.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, theyre returning from the party.]
Ross: No, actually I thought about it when, when we were going out. Its how I imagined I uh, I would ask you to marry me.
Ross: Its a good thing I didnt do it, because it sounds like it wouldve been a very expensive wedding. (Rachel laughs) Okay, good night
Ross: Thats all Im askin
Monica: Okay thats it. I give up. At mom and dads 40th anniversary, youre the one giving the speech.
Ross: Whats uh, whats going on? Do you not, do you not like Katie?
Ross: Okay, so whats the matter?
Joey: Well, theres gonna be strippers there. He didnt say anything about no strippers.
Chandler: Well its very unsettling.
Monica: Do you guys know what happened to Chandlers barca lounger?
Joey: Rach, its, its ah, its not that we dont want to, really. (quietly) Are we talking models in their underwear?
Chandler: Hes not snoozing, hes teaching a class.
Phoebe: (reading from the note) Good-bye Phoebe and Ursula. Ill miss you. P.S. Your Mom lives in Montauk. You just wrote this!
Monica: Oh look, the pool tables free. Rack em up. Ill be back in just a minute. Get ready for me to whip your butt.
The Instructor: Okay ladies, that ends todays class, and lets remember, lets be safe out there.
Chandler: So, hows the hideously inappropriate crush on Rachel coming?
Monica: Shes over a week late! She gotta have it today, right?
Chandler: Its just so glamorous.
Monica: Chandler theres nothing wrong with crying! I mean you dont have to be so macho all the time.
Phoebe: Its interesting that you lost. Now, I forget, do you like to lose?
Joey: Thats not gonna happen. No. (Looks up) Because we have a new deal!
Monica: Shes in the bathroom.
Rachel: (entering) All right, all right. Lets go!
Monica: You know thats nice, y'know we could put it back there after the surgeons remove it from your colon!
{Transcribers Note: This is where Part II begins, which means this is now episode 616.}
Phoebe: Thats it?! You call that a fight? Come on! "We were on a break!" "No we werent!" What happened to you two?!
Joey: (announcer voice to the camera) Lets play Bamboozled!
Dr. Long: Okay, theres an herbal tea you can drink.
Ross: Its sex.
Rachel: Ross, whats the big deal? So I kissed the guy!
Phoebe: Thats all right, Ill work here. This is goo, next to this plant. (She picks a place in the lobby next to a plant.)
Elizabeth: Just hearing you describe it as forbidden, its really hot.
The Director: (returning) Okay, Im afraid to say this, but lets pick it up where we left off.
Joey: Hey! Look, if it didnt work its because you didnt tell it right! Show me how you did it.
Ross: Thanks. (When shes gone he collapses into Joey.) I-I think Im dying. I really do.
Joey: Oh? Oh! Okay! Okay! Lets hear their plan! Now, whats the future look like for Dina and Bobby?
Joey: That sounds like another word to me! Are you gonna take this seriously? (Theres no response from Chandler.) Okay.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Chandler is sitting on the couch staring at the tape on the coffee table with his eyes huge and his mouth wide open.]
Rachel: Thats so sweet.
Ross: Its funny you should mention diapers.
Monica: Thats it! Right there! Is all I wanted!
Joey: Yeah, but its not a big deal.
Don: Thats exactly what I said. Phoebe, isnt that strange.
Ross: Okay, whats up?
Ross: Oh come on! Thats-thats true.
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey. Whos that?
Joey: God. Hes crazy! Why doesnt he want to be with Rachel?
Gunther: We dont give anything away unless its someones birthday.
(Hes still spitting and Joey holds his script in front of his face.)
Mrs. Green: Now dont worry! Everythings gonna be okay. (Hugs Rachel while she is standing and Rachel is sitting, seeing this Monica decides to join in on the hugging by hugging Mrs. Green from behind her back.)
Rachel: Hes looking at me.
Monica: (the hands still there) When-when you were little you slept through the Grand Canyon. (She actually itches her nose this time.)
Monica: And its so clean!!
Ross: Thats it. Thats it.
Mr. Geller: I think I accidentally used Monicas boxes to keep the water away from the Porsche.
Monica: Rosss parents are my parents!
Joey: And-and theres no danger to her and the baby?
Mrs. Geller: (Looking around at the chapel.) Oh my God! Its like a fairyland.
Nurse: Hes in room 816.
Monica: Thats true! (Happily) I knew I married you for a reason!
Rachel: Come on, its not a big deal! We stayed up all night coming up with a plan so that us dating will not be a problem.
Rachel: Okay-okay-okay-okay-okay-okay-okay! I got it! I got it! I got it! I cant! I cant! I cant! I cannot go with you and my sister thing. Okay? I just cant. Its just too weird, all right? I imagine the two of you together and I freak out. It freaks me out. I cant do it! I cant do it.
Joey: (looks in the window) Hes not really my type.
Ross: Well lets just say (singing) Rosss caaaaan!
[Cut to later in that episode. Monica and Chandler are confronting Joey in his apartment about Phoebes knowledge.]
Monica: Okay, Joeys gonna catch it, and you and I are gonna block.
Nurse: (calling to the woman) This rooms available.
Ross: And yet somehow its true!
Dina: I cant believe shes really gone. Look around you, all of this is ours. (They move into kiss but; theyre stopped by Joey entering with a huge bandage wrapped around his head.)
Ross: (To Rachel) Squeeze your legs together and cover the babys ears!
Joey: Uh, well hes 33.
The Director: Okay. (to Alex) All right uh, Alex now when Joey says his line, "Take good care of your Momma son," thats your cue to cry. Got it? (Alex nods yes.) All right, lets do this.
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!
Janice: Its you. This is yours.
The Fireman: Please reattach this, its against the law to disconnect them.
Rachel: Ooh, I miss dating. Gettin all dressed up and going to a fancy restaurant. Im not gonna be able to do that for so long, and its so much fun! I mean not that sitting at home worrying about giving birth to a sixteen pound baby is not fun.
Cliff: Oh my God! Thats the doctor who was in my room before!
Cliff: That-thats him! You know him?
Rachel: I know! I know, she says its all mass-produced, nothing is authentic, and everyone winds up having the same stuff. (Ross looks at his table.) So come on, shes gonna be here any second! Can we please just cover this up with something?! Please?
Rachel: Oh, shes so tiny. (Starts crying) Whered she go?
Ross: Oh shes shes perfect.
(The band starts to play, and the recessional starts. Ross tries to take Emilys hand, but she snatches it away from him.)
Monica: Oh my God! Its like one mind.
Joey: Whats the matter now?
Monica: Whats the matter?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is trying to erase Chandlers dirty words while he looks on.]
Frank: MY SISTERS GONNA HAVE MY BABY!!!!!!!
Monica: Its okay honey, youll find a name.
Monica: Okay. Its Emma.
Monica: Its clearly an Emma.
Chandler: (giggles) My friends name is Joey.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Joey and Phoebe are reading a scene from Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.]
Ross: Yeah. Shes putting her down now, thats her. (Points to the nurse putting Emma now.)
Ross: Its its complicated okay?
Phoebe: Okay, you guys. You guys I think I know whats going on here. Okay, you guys STOP!! (They stop.) I know that, I know that youre acting mad because you think that itll make it easier to leave. But deep down youre still really sad. Deep-deep down.
Rachel: Hes perfect, hes never been better.
Rachel: Okay, you guys, just relax. (She goes over to open the door, and as she does, she says.) I doooo. (Sees that its Joshua, not Chandler that knocked on the door.)
[Cut back into Rachels room.]
Chandler: Nooo!! Shes really dull! And she gets this gross mascara goop thing in the corner of her eye!
Ross: Hey, wheres uh, wheres mom?
Evil Bitch: Shes in labor! You like that you sick son of a bitch!
Pete: I want to become the Ultimate Fighting Champion! Its the most intense physical competition in the world, its banned in 49 states!
Joey: Yeah uh look Rach, theres something I gotta tell ya.
[Scene: Rosss apartment, he and Emily are addressing their invitations.]
Joey: I dont know! Maybe shes crazy! (Storms out.)