words in movies
EDDIE: Not Sean Penn. Alright, I, I've got a funny one, alright. My last girlfriend Tilly. Ok, we're eating breakfast, right, and I made all these pancakes, there was like 50 pancakes right. And all of the sudden she turns to me, alright, and she says, 'Eddie.' I say, 'yeah,' she says, 'Eddie, I don't want to see you anymore.' And it was literally like she had reached into my chest, ripped out my heart, and smeared it all over my life, ya know. And now there's like this incredible abyss, ya know, and I'm falling and I keep falling and I don't think I'm ever gonna stop. [finishes laughing] That uh, wasn't such a funny story, was it?
Phoebe: Yeah, and maybe that youre a real (She says something in Italian, and it doesnt matter what she said. Its not important so I dont need everyone who speaks Italian telling me what she said.)
Ross: Fine! Fine! But this break-up was not all my fault, and she, she says here, (reading from the letter) If you accept full responsibility... (to Chandler and Joey) Full responsibility! ...I can begin to trust you again. Does that seem like something you can do. (yells at Joey) Does it?!!
Mr. Geller: Everyone thinks they know me. Everyone says 'Jack Geller, so predictable'. Maybe after I'm gone, they'll say 'Buried at sea! Huh!'.
Chandler: Maybe we finish this for him! (he sits down on the sofa and he start typing on Ross' computer) "Also I cloned a dinosaur in my lab. She's now my girlfriend. I don't care what society says. It's the best sex I've ever had"... aaand SEND!
Joey: Oh, hey, how about this one. Ah, its says so in the script! Y'know ah, I-I dont know why my character likes you either, I mean it says in the script here that youre a bitch.
Monica: That's what it says here. Flight 421, leaves at 8:40, Newark airport.
Monica: Absolutely! (He goes to kiss her, but she stops him and rubs his head and says...) Now get out of here you!! (Pete leaves) (to the gang) Okay, Im running out of places I can touch him! Look, is there something wrong with me? I mean why am I only attracted to guys where theres no future? Either theyre too old, or theyre too young, and then theres Pete whos-whos crazy about me, and whos absolutely perfect for me, and theres like zip going on! I mean, seriously, does it sound like somethings wrong with me?!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, he's having his party, only he's the only guest. He gets up and puts on a nametag that says Ross, but doesn't quite like it. So he takes it off and puts on one that says Dr. Geller and he puts the Ross one underneath the Dr. Geller one. Then as he turns off the music, we hear the party for Howard raging in the apartment across the hall.]
Phoebe: He says, that he would cremate my fur coat for free if I umm, y'know, bring in the next person I know who dies.
Chandler: so then the farmer says, "Thats not a cow and youre not milking it." (Everyone laughs.)
Rachel: All right, okay, Laurie proposes to Jo, and she says no, even though shes still in love with him, and then he ends up marring Amy.
(Monica is taking a drink as Ross says that, laughs, and snorts her drink.)
Phoebe: Ooh, this is cool...it says in some parts of the world, people actually eat the placenta. (Joey grimaces)
Ross: Oh much, much worse. I did my impression of Joan Rivers as one of the earliest amphibians... (gestures with his hands and says in an impression voice?) "Can we walk"? (Phoebe starts laughing) Oh, you... you like that?
RICHARD: Okay, last chance. (Monica throws the candy and hits some woman in the back of the head, Richard turns around and says) Again, I'm sorry.
Past Life Phoebe: More bandages! More bandages! Please, can I get some more bandages in here! This man is dying(She is cut off by an exploding shell just outside the tent. When the smoke clears, she's missing an arm and the blood is pumping out like you'd see in a horror movie. And upon seeing her condition, she says ) Oh no.
(Sergei says something and leans in to kiss her, but just as hes about to....)
Mischa: Hes says, Walking with you makes this strange city, feel like home.
(They all try and shake hands at once. They end up criss-crossing theyre arms to shake each others hand, and Ross says )
Monica: Passport, check! (As she puts away each item, she says check.) Camera, check! Travellers cheques, check!
Phoebe: (sarcastically) Okay Ross! (Ross exits and she says quietly to the bike) Please dont die!
Phoebe: Well, I've been reading up and for your information, minks are not very nice. Okay, I admit it! I love this coat! Okay, Iit's the best thing I've ever had wrapped around me, including Phil Huntley! (She starts to leave but stops and says to Monica.) Remember Phil Huntley? He was fine!
Rachel: Oh God, it says he was hit by an ice cream truck and dragged for nine-(turns over the note)-teen blocks. Oh. (They all come out from Monica's bedroom) Oh my God.
Ross: Oh the bands ready! And wellI-Iwe gotta do what the band says, right? I dont care about the stinkin band!!
(Joey has made a little home movie that's his big scene. He braces himself against the door to his apartment and while holding a plastic gun and wearing the same sweater says )
Ross: She says Marcel's humping thing's not a phase. Apparently he's reached sexual maturity.
CHANDLER: I've met the perfect woman. OK, we're sitting on her couch, we're fooling around, and then suddenly she turns to me and says, 'Do you ever want to do it in an elevator?'
Chandler: Unless Snoopy says it to Charlie Brown, I think we're okay.
Joey: Well, I guess he says that because they were on a break when it happened, that she should of forgiven him by now.
(Ross looks shocked and says nothing.)
Rachel: (says something that cannot be understood)
CHANDLER:Well the package says you have to uh, constantly keep it moving. Stir and drink, stir and drink, never let it settle.
Frank Jr.: What's green and says "hey, I'm a frog"? A talking frog! (Laughs.) Oh, no, you can't have him, he's too funny.
Chandler: Because it says "Captain Ross" on the side and "I hate Monica" on the bottom.
Amy: Oh! It's Ross... Hey Ross! (She says hey to the guy at the falafel stand, whose only similarity with Ross would be his black hair.) Hello-oo Ross! (to Rachel) He's rude!
Rachel: And your horoscope says, "On the fifth a special someone is going to give you a gift."
Parker: No, no, no wait! Dont tell me. Let me guess. (Points as he says their names) Joey, Monica, Ross, Rachel and, Im sorry Phoebe didnt mention you. (Chandler makes a face) Chandler, Im kidding all ready youre my favorite!
Sandy: Actually studies have shown that the movement and colours help their cerebral development... The whimsical characters are just for us. (He winks to Joey and Rachel. Ross's face says he disapproves. Joey sees that and kind of angrily says...)
Chandler: I don't know. Except that, for one last time... (he touches the players as he says the following) Good game, good game, good game, good game, good game, good game, good game.
Ross: No, no. The vet says unless he's in a place where he has regular access to some... monkey lovin,' he's just gonna get vicious. I've just gotta get him into a zoo.
Phoebe: And! Yknow what Jake says? That womens underwear is actually more comfortable. And he loves the way the silk feels against his skin.
Rachel: Okay fine! Ill-Ill just tell her its an antique apothecary table, she doesnt have to know where it came from. Oh! Look at this little drawers! Oh look-look it says that it holds 300 CDs.
Rachel: Yes. Yes, he says Im damaged goods.
Ross: Yeah in fact, Im gonna go call her right now. And Ill make sure to tell her my friend Chandler says (He mimics the shy reaction Chandler did.)
Sarah: No. The one in Atlantic City, Dad loves the slots. He says hes gonna double the college money my Grandma left me.
(Now they kiss passionately... and then Ross enters with Emma. They freeze, pull away and look at Ross who looks like he just can't believe what he's seeing. Joey straightens his shirt, and Rachel says I'm so-oo sorry, and presses her breasts together, just like Joey did before.)
Ross: Right, I'm gonna go talk to Joey. I think this is the right time. He's always in a good mood after the flight attendant says "duty free".
(Joey turns around and sees his face on a poster in the subway. The poster says: What Mario isn't telling you...V.D., you never know who might have it. A variety of scenes are shown with the poster displayed all over New York City.)
Joey: Oh and (Ross begins to open the door and Joey says some gibberish word to indicate to Ross that hes not done yet. Ross closes the door again.) Okay, and uh if anyone needs help pretending to like it, I learned something in acting class, try uh, rubbing your stomach (Rubs his stomach) or uh, or saying mmm and uh, oh oh! And smiling (Smiles while pretending to stir a bowl), okay?
ROSS: Ohhh. Big boy, riding the bus--Hey, I have a question. How come it says Property of Human Services on his butt?
Tommy: Oh, you thought, huh? Yeah, well that didnt really work out too well for you did it you idiot!! What are you?! A moron!! Huh?! It says D-13! Okay?! Look youre surrounded by even numbers!! Did that give you some clue?!
Ross: Well let therewhat if a man comes along and puts a gun to your head and says, "You ride this bike or Ill sh Ill shoot you."
Phoebe: Okay. And, my, dead, mother, says, you, are, it. I'm with Rachel.
Rachel: Joey is says Best Supporting Actress!
[Scene: The Hospital, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there, along with Aunt Lillian. Ross and Monica enter and everyone says hi and kisses.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Monica, Phoebe, Joey and Chandler are waiting for Ross and Rachel to come home and Monica is looking at the sign Phoebe bought that says, "Its a Boy!"]
Monica: Phoebe, do you think that your favorite animal says much about you?
Hombre Man: (to a customer) Hombre? (The guy says yes, and gets his sample.)
Chandler: Do you think that theres a town in Missouri or some place called Sample? And ah, as youre driving into town theres-theres like a sign, and it says Youre in Sample. (He says it like urine sample.)
Ross: Hey! You were a closed book! Okay? Im not a mind reader! Besides, I hate those conversations. Im horrible at them. Really! Maybe-maybe I need kind of a gesture. Yknow, something that says were moving forward without having to talk about it.
Doug: says $30 Father; same as in town.
CHANDLER: Wow, it sounds even cooler when somebody else says it. I was awesome, ok? She was biting her lip to stop from screaming.
Phoebe: Okay, doctor says any minute now.
Joey: You guys have one of those signs that says: 'We don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in our pool.', you know.
Rachel: You know the book says that whenever shes sleeping I should be sleeping so (She gives Monica thumbs and goes to lay down)
Ross: It was hard... I remember... I was in my bedroom... playing with my dinosaurs... playing and learning... and my father walks in and says... he says... "What are you doing with those things? What's wrong with you, why aren't you... why aren't you outside playing like a... like a real boy?
Ross: Oh, Im actually on my way to tell her right now. Yeah, shes been away all week visiting her parents, but shell be cool. I mean, shes been so supportive. She-she even got the baby a tiny T-shirt that says, Fossils are my friends.
Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.
Monica: And-and-and if I die, from a long illness. And youre writing out my eulogy and you open a desk drawer and you find a note from me that says, "I will always be with you," and you still cant shed one tiny tear, I know youll be crying a river inside.
(They all start out, Rachel gives each one a kiss, and says "bye." In the hall, Joey says )
Phoebe: Okay, umm, if a kid gets straight As, his parents would say, "Yeah, he pulled a Monica." Y'know? Or a fireman saves a baby, and they go, "Yeah I know, he pulled a Monica." Or someone hits a homerun and the announcer says, "Yeah, that ones outta here." Though some things dont change.
Ross: The doctor says its completely normal with all the hormones. Plus, you-youre sleep deprived.
MONICA: Chandler look, I don't want to be one of those wives who says, "You can't go to the game.� You have to spend time with me."� So, if you could just realize it on your own . . .
Aunt Lillian: The doctor says it's a matter of hours.
Joey: (on phone) Yeah, my neighbor... (Listens) Yeah, the brunette... (to Monica) She says you looked very pretty the other day in the green dress.
Monica: Wait a minute, why dont you just call Mark. (they both look up in shock) I mean, who says you have to sit here and wait for him, youve got to make stuff happen.
Phoebe: Ross says hi.
Joey: (shaking his head as if to say: of course not!) No, no, my mouth says the words, my brain is thinking monster trucks!
Chandler: (reading the paper) Says here that a muppet got whacked on Seasame Street last night. (to Ross) Where exactly were around ten-ish?
Phoebe: But ifno look, okay. These jerks might not care about you, but the universe does! And that says a lot!
Ross: Well, of course you can defend yourself from an attack you know is coming, thats not enough. Look, I studying kara-tay for a long time, and theres a concept you should really be familiar with. Its what the Japanese call (he holds two fingers up to his temple, and he does this every time he says this word) unagi.
JOEY: That's what it says.
Joey: Hey, Chandler, when you see Frankie, tell him Joey Tribbiani says hello. He'll know what it means.
Chandler: She doesnt know. Says she loves us both. Y'know I woke up this morning and I was in love, well I was happy. Y'know it serves me right for buying that twelve pack of condoms. And now I cant even return them, because she choked on the reciept!
Chandler: Monica says that her Maitre D. is the funniest guy she's ever met.
Sarah: Yeah. My Dad says if I spend as much time helping him clean apartments, as I do daydreaming about outer space, hed be able to afford a trip to the Taj Mahal.
Mike: Not possible! (they kiss, and then Mike says proudly...) She's gonna be Mrs. No Balls.
(Joey hears the bell which means his answer is correct and is surprised. The screen now says "5 to win" and "Spanish words")
Monica: Come on Rach, when a guy says hes going to call, it doesnt mean hes going to call. Hasnt it ever happened to you?
Ross: (sarcastic) Oh! Oh-oh, the bands ready! Well, I-I-we gotta do what the band saysI dont care about the stupid band!!
Joey: (sipping red wine from a glass) Who says that wine has to cost more than milk!
Chandler: Pff, easy for you to say, he's a father killer. He probably loves him mommy. He's probably got a tattoo that says "mom" on his shovel-wielding arm!
Joey: It's called Shutter Speed, it's really cool! Yeah, umm, I meet this girl in the subway and we fall in love in like a day, right? And then, she disappears But I find out where she lives and when I get there this like old lady answers the door and I say, "Where's Betsy?" Right? And she says, "Betsy's been dead for 10 years."
Joey: Okay look Rach, I know this is a lot. You dont have to say anything. You-you uh, you take as much time as you need. (Long pause as Rachel says nothing.) Okay, you gotta say something!
ROSS: Mon, speaking of which, dad says he knows someone you can call for an interview.
Phoebe: (grins and walks to the kitchen and says to Chandler and Joey.) I helped!
Chandler: (peeping) Everything is so distorted! Looks like Joey has a giant hand! Which says "Rangers" on it. They went to the game!
Rachel: You know what, Im gonna do that, Im gonna call him up, and Im gonna ask him out. I can do that. Ask him out. (Practising) How you doin? (Calls him) Hi! Joshua? Its Rachel Green from Bloomingdales. (Listens) Yeah, umm, I was wondering if you umm, if you umm, left your wallet at the store today? Well, we found a wallet, and we(Listens) the license? Well, that is a good idea! Uh, well, lets see here this says this license belongs to a uh, uh, belongs to a mister uh, Pheebs, and umm, yeah, so sorry to bother you at home. Ill see you tomorrow. Bye. (Hangs up) (to Phoebe) Youve done that a thousand times?
Phoebe: Im sorry, okay, I-I wasnt looking, and the store says that they wont take it back because you signed for it...
Ross: Um. I know it says black tie optional, but, um this may be pushing it a little, um.