words in movies
JOEY: Cause she uh, she steals stuff.
CHANDLER: Or maybe she doesn't steal stuff and Joey just slept with her and never called her back.
RACHEL: Ya know, I mean this is supposed to be a joyous occasion. My sister's graduating from college, nobody thought she would. It's a true testament to what a girl from long island would do for a Celica.
JOEY: Oh no, can't invite her. She also steals.
MONICA: Listen you guys, I don't mean to be a pain about this but, um, I've noticed that some of you are just placing them on. You wanna push the caps until you hear them click. [she demonstrates, Gunther starts to walk to the door] Gunther, where're you going?
MONICA: What? [she runs over to where Phoebe is, Phoebe signals for Gunther to go] I don't see anything.
PHOEBE: [enters with the three people she got out] Ok, welcome to the fu-oh.
MR. GREENE: ...what the hell does she want with half a boat...
RACHEL: This is it, isn't it? I mean, this is what my life is gonna be like. My mom there, my dad there. Thanksgiving, Christmas. She gets the house, he's in some condo my sister's gonna decorate with wicker. Oh, Chandler how did you get through this?
[Scene: Monica's party. She is seeing off the last of the guests.]
JOEY: Thanks for coming Mrs. Greene. [grabs her and kisses her to distract her. She goes limp in his arms. Mr. Greene leaves.] Well, ok, you take care.
MRS. GREENE: Oh, you kids [she caresses his face and chest] Well, this is the best party I've been to in years.
(Rachel looks shocked, gets over it, notices she's alone, and picks up the phone. The last part of which is something she shouldn't have done, because the phone is already in use. By Monica, and now Rachel can hear every word.)
Joey: So, so is she still going to Paris?
Phoebe: No, cause she didnt tell me I was gonna die until the very end of the session, and I was not gonna waste a whole another hour there! I mean Ive only got a week left, yknow? Ive really gotta start living now! (So she picks up the latest copy of Car and Driver (a U.S. auto magazine), leans back, and starts reading.)
Phoebe: Yeah, and maybe that youre a real (She says something in Italian, and it doesnt matter what she said. Its not important so I dont need everyone who speaks Italian telling me what she said.)
Ross: It used to be. Now she doesnt really have a face. Smokin body though.
Rachel: Shes doing it Look, shes breast-feeding look!
Doctor: Here she comes!
Chandler: (shocked) She? It's a girl?
Ross: And then she said it was the perfect way to say goodbye.
Joey: Yep. I just, I just watched her sleep for like hours, just breathing in and breathing out. And then I knew she was dreaming cause, cause her eyes keep going like this. (He closes his eyes and moves them around, kinda like hes been processed by the devil, or something.)
(She points at the stain.)
[Cut to Rachels bedroom, Phoebe and her are entering. And its obvious that shes not packed.]
Mike: But Rachel I thought she just had a baby with Ross
Chandler: What?! Im Chandler! (She nods towards the doorway, Chandler turns and looks) Oh, thats Richard!
Ross: Oh no. Dad! Dad! What (He goes to open one of her boxes and it rips apart.) Oh God everythings ruined! Dad, shes gonna be crushed!
(She leaves.)
Monica: What-what's the matter? Is there, is there something on my dress? (She turns around making sure he gets a good look.)
Joey: No, Chandler. Look, forget about it, okay? Look, I know things have been a little tight since Janine moved out. Oh, was she hot.
(She pulls him over to the door.)
Joey: Because she uh, she-she thinks that you are blah and that you, Monica, are too loud.
Ross: I am so over Janine. I mean, yeah, at first I thought she was hot, but now shes like OLD NEWS!
Phoebe: Roll playing You could be the warden; she could be the prisoner. You could be the pirate; she could be the wench!
(She does so.)
(Monica turns around and is about to leave when she steps on something.)
(She starts looking through her purse, but she can't find it.)
(She runs up to the gate and the gate attendant standing there.)
(She holds the phone down to the twins.)
(She holds down the phone to the twins again.)
Rachel: She was just crawling around and she found him, so I just let her sleep with him. That's all right? Isn't it?
Passenger #1: But she is sometimes.
Phoebe: Okay, here I wish you health and happiness. (She hands Monica a cookie in a plastic baggie.)
(She notices that everybody is leaving.)
Rachel: Ooh, Italian! (she also grabs a plate)
Ross: Where is she?
Phoebe: There she is!
Rachel: Good, good, good, good, good. (She runs to the drums and gets the sticks)
Rachel: There was nothing wrong with her! All right? She was perfectly lovely!
(She slips them some money.)
Chandler: No no no! Look, Carol, can I call you Carol? (Pause) Wh-why would I when your name is Elaine? Oh what a great picture of your son, strapping! (She glares at him.) Thats a picture of your daughter, isnt it, well shes lovely. I like a girl with a strong jaw. Ill call you from Tulsa. (Exits.)
Ross: Well, maybe the crazy fog has lifted and she realises that life without me.... a-sucks.
Monica: Yeah, she hates all mass produced stuff. She thinks her furniture should have a history, a story behind it.
Chandler: She went on one of those spray-on tan places.
Chandler: I know. See, yes. Thats Yasmine Bleeth, shes a completely different kind of chick. I love you both. But in very different ways.
Ross: Fine! Fine! But this break-up was not all my fault, and she, she says here, (reading from the letter) If you accept full responsibility... (to Chandler and Joey) Full responsibility! ...I can begin to trust you again. Does that seem like something you can do. (yells at Joey) Does it?!!
Rachel: Okay Joey, were luffing a little bit, so could you tighten up the cunningham? (The mainsail has started to flap in the wind and has stopped working efficiently; she wants him to tighten it so that it starts working again.)
Rachel: Well, youve been here for two months now and your boss is required to hand in a performance evaluation. But yknow, there is one thing that I have yet to evaluate. (She turns around and sweeps the stuff off of her desk and hops up onto it.)
Ross: And she feels the same way?
RACHEL: Oh yeah, I don't care how much she tells you she wants it, I don't care if begs, she pleads, she tells you she, she's gonna have sex with, with another man. That just means it's working.
Paul: And anyhow, Im sorry I was so harsh before, but you have to understand that I (pause) still look at Lizzie like shes a twelve-year-old girl.
{There's another continuity error here. Before Monica says I love you, Chandler's holding the vests so that you couldn't see the collar, you could see all three, and they were folding nicely. After she says the line and the camera cuts back to Chandler, you can only see two out of the three, you can see the collar of the top one, and it looks like it was folded sloppily, unlike before. Hey, you notice things while spending this much time on this!}
(Monica is dancing. At first she seems insecure and moves slowly, but then gets into the groove and swings her hips from side to side while holding her hands up. She then eats the last piece of pizza she was holding and again moves her hips from side to side, pushing her hands in the air in beat with the music. Her moves get more wildly while she's snapping her fingers. She loses balance and falls back onto a pink bean bag.)
Chandler: (picking up a video from the table) Candy and Cookie. Candy and Cookie? Monica got me porn?! Girl-on-girl porn?! She really must love me!! (Chandler runs over to the TV, puts the tape in, and sits down to enjoy some "porn")
Phoebe: Ohh! (She moves.) Oh my. Oh, that reminds me, I have to see my OB-GYN today.
Ross: No, because she hasnt come home yet. And she hasnt been home all night! Shes obviously staying with that other guy, and Im the stupid moron who spent the whole night outside her apartment!
Phoebe: Ross, Rachel doesn't know that you wanna get back together. If she did, she might feel differently. She might not even go.
Rachel: I'm hoping that if she hears it enough it will be her first word.
Phoebe: Its fine. I mean, this is something that youve been thinking about since you were what, 14? (Shes referring to the Halloween picture.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler walks in and starts raiding the fridge. Then Rachel comes out of the shower with a towel wrapped round her waist, drying herself with another towel. Chandler and Rachel startle each other and she drops the towel for a second and snatches the rug off the couch.]
(She opens the door to reveal Ross with a pencil mark from his forehead to his chin.)
Ross: BecDid you not hear me?! Shes an assistant professor in the Linguistics department, okay? Theyre wild! Why do you want to come anyway?
Rachel: Come on Phoebe, look at that! They are not breaking up, look at them. Okay thats, you know what that is? That is a, that is a second date, thats what that is! Look at that, she just put her hand on his thigh...
Ross: Monica had such a crush on him. Yeah, she used to kiss his poster every night before she went to bed.
Ross: I dont know. I mean I-I guess I could. Its just that we didnt really end things such good terms. And if I go over there Id be ignoring the one thing she asked me to do when we broke up, jump up my own ass and die. (Walks away.)
Phoebe: Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start. (she reads a note). My friend Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I... (Monica is twirling her hands in order to make Phoebe speed up her speech) oh I... hum... I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because... (Monica is tapping her watch with her finger) it's not important... she is in rehab. Anyway, so, ok, Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just brought, uhm, my Mike and, and (Monica clears her throat) but despite, you know... it got... it got good. Ok, I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here...
Rachel: Okay. Thank you! Thank you! BecauseI'm sorry, all right. Because y'know what? She didn't want menot important. The point is, I was right. Your decision. Okay? I was right. (She starts for the door.) (Stops) Your decision.
Rachel: Yeah, so what is she, like a... like a spokesmodel, or an aerobics instructor, what?
Monica: Hey! (She jumps up and throws Emilys wedding dress into Rachels room.)
Phoebe: Regular Celery! (Starts to write that on her list) Oh, I already have that. (She gets up and heads for her room)
ROSS: Well, pretty incredible according to the message she left you on my machine. Hey, Chandler, why is this woman leaving a message for you on my machine?
Ross: Seven years. I mean weve been together seven years, shes the only woman whos ever loved me, and the only woman Ive-Ive ever....
Rachel: Oh, that was just my crazy friend. She told me I should get off the plane, because she had a feeling that there was something wrong with the left Philange.
Rachel: Ohh... (Ross mouths HA-HA at Monica and takes two cookies and she looks at him angrily)
(Rachel opens the trash chute, winces at the smell, and throws the garbage bag in. She then tries to throw the pizza box in, but since its so big she jams it into the opening and it prevents the door from closing. She then turns around too see Mr. Treeger watching her.)
Ross: Oh, thats not true! Ive got her lots of stuff she never took back.
Rachel: Barry, I'm sorry... I am so sorry... I know you probably think that this is all about what I said the other day about you making love with your socks on, but it isn't... it isn't, it's about me, and I ju- (She stops talking and dials the phone.) Hi, machine cut me off again... anyway...look, look, I know that some girl is going to be incredibly lucky to become Mrs. Barry Finkel, but it isn't me, it's not me. And not that I have any idea who me is right now, but you just have to give me a chance too... (The maching cuts her off again and she redials.)
Chandler: Yeah, shes dying Of a cough apparently.
Ross: Here they come, here they come. Oh-ho, if she kisses him goodnight, Im gonna kill myself, I swear. I cant, I cant watch this. (turns away, then quickly turns to look again) Come on, date over! Date over! Uh-oh, here we go, shes going in.
Monica: Oh, she was a cruel, cranky, old bitch! (Ross gives her a look) (to Ross) And Im sorry she died. Did Dad say I get the dollhouse?
(She exits and as Chandler picks up his coat, the phone rings and the answering machine gets it.)
(she knees him in the crotch. He jumps up a bit)
Monica: Uh, good hands. (she holds Chandler hands) Healing hands.
Rachel: Oh my God! I can not believe that! I mean I dont really like it when Ross goes out with anyone, but my sister isnt that like incest or something?! Oh my God, and theyre gonna have sex! Oh! Oh no what if he marries her too?! Oh this is just terrible, this is just terrible. And I cant stop it! I cantI dont own Ross! Yknow? And Jill, she should be able to do whatever it is that she wants to do! And oh my God, I cant believe Ross is marrying my little sister, this terrible. Oh my God, this is just the worst thing that could have ever happened to me.
PHOEBE: I don't know. I mean, she obviously has some kind of unfinished business. [Mrs. Adelman's voice] Sit up!
Phoebe: Oh I do! (She grabs her huge purse and starts rummaging through it and taking out various items in a futile search for the gum.) Oh, yknow what? No. (Pause) Wait a second. (She removes a bag filled with water that has a goldfish swimming in it.) I know its in here somewhere.
Phoebe: All right. Hold on. (She starts digging in the chair.) I got it. Nickel! (Donates it.) How much more do we need?
The Museum Official: Yes. Were very popular. Theres a two-year waiting list. Sorry! (She kinda storms out with the couple.)
Phoebe: Look, look! (She lifts up the roof, and the front panel falls revealing the interior.)
Pete: Her names Ann, shes a journalist. Ahh, we met on the plane. She asked me if she could finish off my peanuts, I thought she said something else, we had a big laugh. Yeah, I just, I mean I got, I got tired of waiting.
Rachel: Aww, Joey, come here. (She takes his hand.) Look honey, I know this must be really, really difficult for you and I--Oh, I'm sorry. Am I hurting you?
RACHEL: (after a pause with everyone staring at her, she goes up to the microphone) Ya, know what Barr, I'm not gonna leave. I probably should, but I'm not, see 'cause I promised myself that I would make it through at least *one* of your weddings (da-doom-chesh). See now, tonight, all I really wanted was to make it though this evening with a little bit of grace and dignity. Well (laughing), I guess we can all agree that's not gonna happen. There's nothing really left to say except....(starts singing) "Her name was Lola. She was a showgirl. With yellow feathers (band joins in), feathers in her hair, and a dress cut down to there. She would..."
Phoebe: (Trying to get up.) Wait!! Where are you going?! What are you doing?! No!! Wait!! (Not able to get up.) God!! Why am I always pregnant when she does that?!
Ross: Oh, oh, ok, great. You know what, while you're at it she said another word the other day, why don't you, why don't you look up: pbbqqt....
CHANDLER: They were huge. When she sneezed, bats flew out of them.
Charlie: (her mobile phone rings) Oh, I'm sorry. I'll take this. Excuse me. (she cuts herself off for a moment)
Chandler: Look, she's not backing down! She went like this! (He does a little mimic of her dance.)
(As Joey goes to the bathroom, Corporate Phoebe enters. Shes wearing a business suit and carrying a briefcase.)
Rachel: (entering) You guys, youre never gonna believe what I just found tacked up on a telephone pole! (Shes holding a flyer.) Look kinda familiar?
Joey: Uh, why, it’s a... (he picks a book up) one of her favorites, uh, (he reads the title of the book) “Riding the Storm Out. Coping with post-partum depression” eesh! (he puts the book back and picks up another) “Love you forever”. Love you forever. By Robert Munsch. Published by Firefly books. Printed (he pauses and changes the tone to a dramatic one) in Mexico. A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and while she held him she sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”. (the picture fades and Joey is now finishing the book). And while he rocked her, he sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”.
Phoebe: (coming back from the bathroom) What's up? (she sees the gift certificate in Rachel's hands) Hey, Rachel!!
Rachel: Oh, okay. Hey, can I ask you a question? Was it me, or-or was the guy who took my blood sample really cute? Yknow who Im talking about, bald haircut, hairy fingers (Stops when she realizes it was her.)