words in movies
(She starts pushing the power button on the remote, but it's not facing the TV so it doesn't work.)
Past Life Phoebe: More bandages! More bandages! Please, can I get some more bandages in here! This man is dying(She is cut off by an exploding shell just outside the tent. When the smoke clears, she's missing an arm and the blood is pumping out like you'd see in a horror movie. And upon seeing her condition, she says ) Oh no.
Monica: Hey, did you get the turkey bastedOh my God! Oh my God! (She sees someone is stuck in the turkey.) Who is that?
Phoebe: Oh wait! That can't be the one Rachel's talking about. She didn't even know that happened. So which one was it?
Monica: I'll get it! (She runs in, and she's her old fat self like The One With The Prom Video. Not only that, she's out of breath after running a short distance. She goes over and opens the door to reveal Rachel with her old nose.) Happy Thanksgiving!
(As she is drinking, Monica laughs and Chandler's joke and Diet Coke comes out of her nose.)
Ross: Well, that's cool. So did (She walks away from him and he shuts up.)
[Time lapse, dinner has finished and Chandler is sitting on the couch eating some pie. Monica sits down beside him, and he gets pushed up a little by the wave she makes in the couch.]
(She opens the door to reveal Chandler and Ross. Unfortunately, they seem to have their holidays mixed up. They think it's Halloween and they're going as Crockett and Tubbs from that legendary TV show of the late 80's, Miami Vice. God, we looked silly back then!)
(Monica enters, but she forgot something. Oh, about 150 pounds. In other words, she lost weight, big time!)
Monica: What-what's the matter? Is there, is there something on my dress? (She turns around making sure he gets a good look.)
Ross: Oh mom! Okay, umm, her name is Carol. And she's really pretty. And smart. And uh, she's-she's on the lacrosse team and the golf team. Can you believe it? She plays for both teams!
(She heads for the kitchen and Chandler watches her leave and admires the view.)
Rachel: Well, like anything can be sexy. Like umm, oh-oh, like this dishtowel! (She grabs it and starts rubbing it on her cheek.) Ooh, ooh, this feels sooo good against my cheek! And-and if I feel a little hot, I can just dab myself with it. Or I can bring it down to my side and bring it through my fingers while I talk to him.
Rachel: Yeah? Okay! Good, good, because he's coming. He's coming. (To Chandler) Hey, what's up? (She leaves and closes the door behind her.)
Monica: Umm, I'd love too! (She goes over and picks up the box and decides to follow Rachel's advice and holds the box up to her cheek.) Ooh, I love macaroni and cheese. I love-I love the way this box feels against my cheek.
Monica: Boy, I love carrots! Oh! (She picks up a bunch of them and holds them between her fingers.) Sometimes I like to put them between my fingers like this and-and hold them down here while I talk to you. (She is rubbing her hip with the carrots.) Umm, and-and-and y'know if I get really hot umm, I-I like to pick up this knife (She picks up a knife without putting the box down. She's holding the box between her cheek and shoulder) and-and umm, I-I put the cold steal against umm, (Pause) my body. (She doesn't have any exposed skin within reach of the knife, so while holding the carrots in one hand and the box between her face and shoulder, she rubs the knife on her stomach.)
Monica: Oh yeah, of course. I'm fine it's just that(She drops the box and in a reflex action tries to catch it with her arm, the knife slips out and slowly flips through the air and comes point first down into Chandler's shoe.)
Monica: Oh yes! I have it right here, on ice! (She takes a bag of ice out of her purse and hands it to the doctor.)
Monica: Wait, wait, wait! (She puts a Shriner's hat on the turkey.)
Monica: Look! (She puts a big, yellow pair of sunglasses on the bird.)
Monica: I bet this will work! (She starts dancing and Chandler cracks up.)
Phoebe: No! No, she said you actually proposed to her.
Joey: Ah, look who’s back! (he sees the bags) Why do you have bags? RACH, WHY DOES SHE HAVE BAGS?
(She sets her bag down on the foosball table and Joey sees the Toblerone bar sticking out of it and gazes longingly at it.)
Monica: How does she do that?
Ross: Well, it turns out that she is going to Daytona for spring break woo-hoo. That means, that means wet T-shirt contests, guys doing shots off of girls bodies, waking up next to people you dont even know
Kiki: And while we're on the subject of news.. (She holds up here finger to show off her engagement ring and they all scream again.)
Rachel: Okay well Ross! Stop it please! Wait a minute! (Motions for him to follow her lead, but he angrily shakes his head no. So she pokes him.)
Ross: Oh, thank you. (She goes to kiss him, but he holds her coat up between their faces to stop her.) Hey, hey. (opens the door, sees Rachel, and hides Chloe behind the door) Rachel!!!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is packing her belongings to move to Rosss. Shes standing in the kitchen.]
Chandler: Then why-why is she going to a play?!
Ross: Yeeeeeep Yep-yep-yep-yep-yep. I remember when she took out on her dads boat she wouldnt let me help at all.
Phoebe: Maybe, maybe I'll dance for you. (She starts doing a rather suggestive and seductive dance that's silly at the same time.)
CHANDLER: Well she totally called me on it, okay. She said, 'cut it out, get real', and I did.
Rachel: Huh. Well, uh, thats uh, thats interesting. (She goes over and retrieves her note.)
Marsha: Well, she has issues.
Ross: (noticing a beautiful woman moving in down the street) Well hello! Shes cute! Should we uh, go try to talk to her?
Joey: Uh! (When she's done she throws her bra at him)
(She leaves.)
Phoebe: If she says no, can I have the ring?
Rachel: I think shes checking out your beehive Ross.
Chandler: Yknow, I cant believe Kathy did this too me. I really, thought that she was the one. I tell you what, from now on Im never getting out of this chair, ever! Okay? From now on, this chair is the one! You wanna what else is the one? My sweat pants!
Joey: Maybe you can tell me. My agent would like to know why I didn't show up at the audition I didn't know I had today. The first good thing she gets me in weeks. How could you not give me the message?!
Ross: Well, I-I want to give her another chance, yknow? She lives so close. And, at the end of the date, the other time, she-she said something that wasif she was kidding was very funny. On the other hand, if she wasnt kidding, shes not fun, shes stupid, and kind of a racist.
Chandler: Hey, look, youre in trouble either way! Okay? If she comes back and sees me locked to this instead of the chair, shes gonna know you were in here. So you might as well just let me go.
Frank: Okay, cool, all right, she just ah, parking the truck. (to Joey) Im gonna, Im gonna get my ah, my fianc�e man!
Phoebe: (holding a dinosaur) Okay, dinosaur attack!! Quick, everybody into the house!! Ahh-ahh! (the dinosaur starts attacking the house. She starts to bark like a dog.) Roof! Rrroof-roof-roof!
Phoebe: Well thats great! Congratulations!! (She hugs Rachel.)
(She opens the door and he leaves.)
Joey: Then she came back with "The question is, when are you gonna grow up and realise I have a bomb?"
Phoebe: Here, Monica, look what I got to wear when I play at the restaurant (she dons a top hat) uh, huh wait! (she raises a pair of spectacles to her eyes) Right? I mean, this might even class up the ballad of the uncircumcised man.
Monica: (disgusted) Limited seating! Oh, that is such a lame excuse! Thats not the reason shes not inviting me!
Eric: Oh, yeah, during the summer, I spend most weekends at my sisters beach house, which you are welcome to use by the way. Although, I should probably tell you, shes a porn star. (Chandler breaks his pencil in half)
Chandler: everything's great, just watching some regular television there, what a pleasant surprise. (She hugs him, and she knows what he was doing so she looks at the TV and sees sharks swimming around thinking Chandler was giving himself a treat to sharks.)
Kate: (she giggles) Im probably gonna need those. Huh? (she giggles some more)
(The gang swaps all the drinks for what they ordered as Phoebe enters. She sits down without saying hi.)
Rachel: Okay. Okay, see now the one with the feather boa? Thats Dr. Francis. She used to be a man. Oh look! There(Marcel (Katie) jumps away)Okay. (And runs behind her on the back of the couch for a little while.)
Rachel: Hello? Yes, she is, hold on a second, please. Monana, it's for you, the credit card people.
Ross: So, uh, how's she doing?
Ross: She looks so small.
Joshua: Anyway, she burned all of my clothes. I got away with two things. This suit and what turned out to be a skirt.
Rachel: So, um, did she...
Monica: Come on! So she comes to the wedding! I mean it wont be so bad.
Rachel: Im fine! Im fine! Im just losing a tooth, its no big deal. I have a dentist! Yknow. Im gonna go put some ice on it. Excuse me. (She goes over to the ice and Joey and Monica follow her.) What do I do now? What do I do now?
Phoebe: Probably? Yeah, I don't like that word. (Chandler and Monica look surprised) Kind of what probably really means. Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah, oh, "Your mom probably won't kill herself," yknow? I'm sorry, but I'm not hanging all my hopes of Rachel and I living together on-on "Probably!" Yknow? You gotta take care of yourselves! (She starts to walk out) In this world history teaches us nothing! (Exits)
RACH: That's just great. [she picks up her champagne and starts drinking]
Eric: Oh I feel very lucky, shes great. I think shes the most beautiful woman Ive ever seen.
Monica: I guess. Why? Who's she with?
Phoebe: Shes right! You have to stop!
Ross: Ah! (She hugs him.) Well uh-uh, t-take it downstairs, yknow give it a test ride.
(She hands the baby to Joey who pulls down the blanket to reveal Rosss face where the babys should be.)
Phoebe: Hey you guys! Look what I just got. (she shows them a pair of slippers)
Joey: Yeah, well don't get me wrong, you're a better agent than she is, but at least with her I don't want to blow my pretty dumb brains out.
Chandler: No-no-no-no, if we let her stay, she will stay forever!
Rachel: When you're sick, you do whatever you can to make yourself feel better! (she closes her robe)
Monica: I have been looking for them all week and she is wearing them!
Rachel: Okay, well, I'm gonna clear out some of these boxes. (She grabs a couple of the old pizza boxes and exits.)
Rachel: Oh, yknow I'm not that much of a sweet tooth. I(Chandler puts a forkful of the cheesecake in her mouth.)Wow. My God, so creamy. Oh my God, this is the best cheesecake I have ever had. Where did you get this? (She reaches over to look at the label on the box.)
Ross: Oh, she didn't think it would be that big of deal.
Monica: (very emotional) Because... We may not be who she thinks we are but no-one will ever love that baby more than us.
Monica: Well, she was shocked when I told her, but then again so were most people.
RACHEL: That is not a tattoo, that is a nothing. I finally got her back in the chair, bairly touched her with a needle, she jumped up screaming, and that was it.
Rachel: Ross, I am trying to help her become a better person. This is a huge breakthrough for her! She just offered to do something for another human being!!
MONICA: Yeah, well you promised Barry, you'd marry him. (Rachel glares at her, and she retreats to safety between Richard's legs)
Monica: No! No, she doesnt. Uh Phoebe, what she makesthats uhtheyre sock rabbits. They are completely differentOkay! Okay! Okay! I didnt make it! Im sorry! I totally forgot about tonight and the fact that were supposed to make the presents!
Ross: Laugh all you want but uh, she actually left me a message saying shed like to go out again.
[Scene: Lamaze class, Ross is again on the floor, cradled in Susans lap, but now Carol is cradled in his lap, and she has a pretend baby, on her lap. The teacher is showing her class a video, which is about to end.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe is telling Chandler and Monica how she fought crime in her own way with the badge she found.]
[Scene: Monicas bedroom, shes in bed with Richard.]
Rachel: There's no room under the bed. (looks around because she can't find Joey anymore)
Phoebe: Joey, shes so cool. She speaks four languages.
Ross: No. No, no. She doesn't want to see you right now.
Chandler: She doesnt know. Says she loves us both. Y'know I woke up this morning and I was in love, well I was happy. Y'know it serves me right for buying that twelve pack of condoms. And now I cant even return them, because she choked on the reciept!
Joey: I hate this woman!! I hate her! She told everyone in the company about that info-mercial, and now they all keep asking me to open their drinks. Okay, and whenever I cant do it, theyre all like-like laughing at me.
Aunt Lillian: You know, whatever we pick, she would've told us it's the wrong one.
Monica: In. (She joins in the dancing. She still flounders)
MONICA: I've not seen her since high school graduation. Oh my God, that night she got so dru. . . motional.
Joey: Oh Rachel look, don't say that, I think you just need a hug from Joey. Come on. Come on. (She hugs him and Joey looks out the window.) She's back! Hot girl's back!
Frank: Well, when I tell my friends about her she will be.
Phoebe: Hell yeah! Ill marry you! (She grabs the ring and puts it on.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebes baby shower, she is holding those leather pants, and isnt happy about it.]
Ross: Oh! ...Yeah, they were gross. Oh, you know what I loved? Her Sweet 'n' Los. How she was always stealing them from- from restaurants.
Monica: I can't believe they called, and we're actually getting a baby. (she kisses Chandler)
Phoebe: Y'know, if you want, you can call her machine, and if she has a lot of beeps, that means she probably didn't get her messages yet.
Rachel: Oh. (She tries to walk away from Josh, by he keeps holding her) Stop it!
Phoebe: Really? So she said, she didnt wanna live with me anymore?
(She leaves)
(She walks down the hall)
Chandler: Shes just doing her job!
Aunt Lillian: She may have died?
(They quickly take their places and Here Comes the Bride Begins to play. Everyone seated looks back. Emily is being escorted up the aisle by her father. She kisses him on the cheek and takes her place by Rosss side.)
Katie: No, you make them funny. You're the funny one! (She punches him again and he retreats to the arm of the couch.)
Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You looked at her. You never look. You just answer, it's just a reflex. Do I look fat? Nooo! Is she prettier than I am? Noo! Does size matter?
Ross: Well, okay, what-what did she say?
Rachel: Yeah, you know, was I looking forward to going to Paris? Sure. You know, was I excited about working in the fashion capital of the world? Ooh, absolutely... Oh...! Yeah, but you know, this is... it's fine. I'm fine going back to a job where I've pretty much gotten everything out of that I possibly can... (she sits down, and Ross who is stunned to hear all this follows her example)
Rachel: All right, okay, Laurie proposes to Jo, and she says no, even though shes still in love with him, and then he ends up marring Amy.
Joey: Oh, hey. Come on man, don't look at me like that, she used to drive you nuts before too, remember?
Mrs. Green: Now dont worry! Everythings gonna be okay. (Hugs Rachel while she is standing and Rachel is sitting, seeing this Monica decides to join in on the hugging by hugging Mrs. Green from behind her back.)
Ross: Yeah, and she still wants to go! It's pretty clear where she is.
Monica: People! People say it! Come here! (She grabs him and kisses him.)
Phoebe: Yeah! Sure! Ooh, I left my purse up at Monicas. Ill be right back. (She goes to get it.)