words in movies
[Flashback to 410 - TOW The Girl From Poughkeepsie] [Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing her holiday song.]
Phoebe: So here is a, a very special holiday song that I wrote for some very important people to me. (singing:)
"Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap. Asked him to bring my friends all kinds of crap. Said all you need is to write them a song. Now, you haven't heard it yet, so don't try to sing along. No, don't sing along.
Monica: Honey, you�re just in time, I�m about to sing another song!
Phoebe: (singing) Crazy underwear, creepin up my butt. (Jason enters) Crazy underwear, always in a rut. Crazy under-(sees Jason)-wear (In her head) Oh No! What is he doing here? All right, just keep playing, just keep playing. Youll get through this; youll be fine. (She tries to continue the song, but she has lost the ability to pronounce words, and the lyrics come out as gibberish.) (giving up on the song) Okay, thank you. And, as always no one talk to me after the show.
Ross: (not wanting to tell her) Uh-oh, uh-oh, the laundry's done. It's, uh, it's a song. The laundry song that we sing. (singing) Uh-oh the laundry's done, uh-oh, uh-oh.
[Ross and Rachel look at each other and then at Phoebe, realizing the song is about their situation.]
Ross: I just didnt see the fast song coming.
Chandler: Well, Joey, I wrote a little song today. It's called: Get Up.
Ross: You know the song! Sing along!
Phoebe: (singing) "Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap. Asked him to bring my friends all kind of crap. Said all you need is to write them a song. They haven't heard it, so don't try and sing along. No, don't sing along.
Monica: (entering) Hey guys! Do you wanna look at the song list for the wedding? (They ignore her.) Guys?
Phoebe: ...and then it goes back to the chorus... Smelly cat, Sme-lly ca-t / I-t's not your fau-lt. And that's the end of the song... I realise that you didn't ask to hear it, but uhm... no-one had spoken in seventeen minutes.
Phoebe: Oh God, I tried everything to make myself feel better. I even tried writing a song about it... but... I can't think of anything that rhymes with AARRGGHH!! (pause) Hey Monica, I really need your help getting through this...
ROSS: Well maybe, you know, maybe we should stay for one song.
PHOEBE: Ok, Love Story, Brian's Song, and Terms of Endearment.
Phoebe: Oh-ho yeah! A song with rhyming words. Oo, I never thought of that before.
[Scene: The desert outside of Las Vegas, Joey is arriving and we hear the song, Name. Y'know, (singing) I've been through the desert on a horse with no name! It felt good to be out of the rain. In the desert, you can't remember your name, 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain. La la la-la-la, la, la, la, la-la-la. You get the idea. Anyhoo, he pulls up and stops. As he gets out of the car, he spills a huge pill of fast food containers out of the foot well.]
Ross: Hey, would it be okay if I wrote a song about this.
Monica: Ok, for my next song I think I�ll sing something a little more upbeat. All right? Oh, how about the PointerSisters �I am so excited�. And make it bouncy!
Rachel: Okay, what? What is too sensitive? (There's music coming from the living room. Ross opens the door to the living room and he and Rachel see Sandy play a song for Emma on his recorder. Rachel is moved by this, but Ross only sees his point proven again, and walks back into the kitchen, angrily. The door he was holding, swings back and hits Rachel.)
Rachel: What song was that, Pheebs?
[cut back to Ross who finally finishes his so-called song with the same crash from before. He gets some applause, mainly cause hes done.]
Ross: Uh, huh. Yeah, right after I thank everyone for giving money to the museum, I sing a song about the wonder that is Joey.
Ross: There was no song. (to Monica) There was no song!
Monica: Wasn't there a little song?
{Transcibers note: Ill finish that one for those of you who dont know what theyre talking about. Where the towels are Hers and Hers and His, Threes Company too! Yeah, thats the theme song for Threes Company.}
Phoebe: That’s right, I've prepared a song for Emma. From my heart to hers. For there’s no greater gift, than the gift of music. (she starts singing) Emma! Your name poses a dilemma. 'Cause not much else rhymes with Emma! Maybe the actor Richard Crenna, he played the commanding officer in Rambo. Happy birthday Emma!
Frank Sr.: Yes. Yes it is. I burned the formula and I put your diapers on backwards. I mean, I made up a song to sing you to sleep, but that made you cry even more!
Monica: Oh, well, I bought Chandler a five hundred dollar watch and he wrote me a rap song.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is finishing up a song.]
Phoebe: (Takes mike) Thanks, hi. Um, I wanna start with a song that means a lot to me this time of year. (Shakes bell as an introduction) (Sung:)
PHOEBE: You know, I think I want to write a song about all this.
[Behind them, Joey goes up to the bandleader and interrupts the song.]
Chandler: Oh yeah, then uh, what was Phoebes song about?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is finishing up a song.]
Phoebe: Ooh! Brian's Song!
PHOE: Ok, um, hi, hello, hi, ok, so, um, this is a song about a love triangle between three people that I made up. Um, it's called, um, "Two of Them Kissed Last Night".
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Rachel is singing some kind of song.]
Ross: (to Chloe) I like this song.
Rachel: No, just singing. (Does a little song.)
[Scene: The slot machines, we see some guy not having any luck. Both Phoebe and the Lurker are lurking him and each stick their heads around the corner at different times This is all set to that Pink Panther song. Finally the guy gives up and walks past the lurker's position, thus giving her the advantage. She scurries in and quickly drops a coin in the slot before Phoebe gets there. Phoebe arrives slightly later and pulls the arm just after the lurker deposits the coin and wins.]
Rachel: Whats that song? It has been in my head all day long.
Ross: Yeahno, just that last song.
Rachel: Are you kidding?! With the, with the lilies, and-and the song, and the stars! It was really wonderful! Did you just make that up?
Ross: So Im thinking about asking Rachel out tonight. Y'know maybe play her that song we wrote last week.
(Phoebe has already hung up, leaving Joey in the dark. So Joey decides to watch some TV and turns on a rerun of Cheers, with the theme song playing. At first, hes happy, but as the song progresses Joey gets depressed and homesick.)
Monica: He cannot play at our wedding! I mean everyone will leave! I mean come on, that is just noise! Its not even a song!
(The rest of the crew start to drive away leaving Joey sad, alone, and holding his congratulatory balloons as the song comes up again. La-la-la. See, I've been through the desert on a horse with no name! It felt good to be out of the rain! In the desert you can't remember your name, 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain. La-la-la, la, la, la )
Ross: No, youve heard my practice. Okay? Just-just give me a chance to perform for you and then decide whatever you want. And Im not going to tell you what song Im gonna play either. But uh, lets just say when its over Ill bet there will be a we bit o celebration.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Monica are sitting on the couch playing cards, and Phoebe is working on a new song.]
Monica: "Take me to the mansion in the sky-y". I am sorry, the song is over. Did you see me out there?
Monica: No, only because that's the graduation song.
(Dan turns on the TV and the Happy Days theme song comes on.)
PHOEBE: Hey Rach, wanna hear the new song I'm thinkin' of singing this afternoon? I wrote it this morning in the shower.
[Scene: The casino bar, Phoebe and Monica are sitting at the bar, while Wayne Newton's signature song Danke Schoen is playing in the background.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is working on a new song.]
[Scene: Ross walks in the hallway to his apartment and stops in front of his own door. Now he hears two recorders playing a song. When he enters, Sandy and Joey are playing the recorder and Rachel listens.]
Ross: You know the song! Sing along!
Phoebe: Hi. Um, I want to start with a song thats about that moment when you suddenly realize what life is all about. OK, here we go. (plays a chord, then the lights go out) OK, thank you very much.
Phoebe: Hey! You guys, Im writing a holiday song for everyone. Do you want to hear it?
Ross: Well, I was just playing with him, and y'know we were doing the alphabet song, which he used to be really good at, but suddenly hes leaving out e and f. Its like they just ah, I dont know, fell out of his head.
[What follows is the final set of flashbacks that feature a whole lot of lovin between Chandler and Joey. Theres no words, just hugs and even the kiss from The One With The Monkey. All of this is set to the song, Youve Really Got a Hold on Me!]
Phoebe: I'm telling you! Oh, okay! This is the part of the musical where there'd be a really good convincing song. (Singing) "Bam-bam, don't take no for an answer. Bam-bam, don't let love fly away. Bam-bam-bam-bam..."
PHOEBE: (singing) I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song. Stop me if you've heard it. My skin is soapy, and my hair is wet, and Tegrin spelled backward is Nirget.
[Time Lapse, the interrupted song is finishing.]
[Time lapse. The band is finishing another song.]
Joey: Hey Pheebs, you know what? I was thinking... since you wrote a song, maybe I could do something for Emma using my talents! Phoebe: So you’re gonna... hit on her?
Phoebe: Thats okay. All right, Im gonna play song thats really, really sad. Its called Magician Box Mix Up. (she turns her guitar upside down to play it.)
STEPHANIE: Thank you. I'd like to start with a song that I wrote for the first man I ever loved. (singing) Zachary.
Woman at door in a sing song voice: Amy.
Phoebe: Oh good! Because we have an "I'm sorry" song.
Ross: You know, Barracuda was the first song I learned to play on the keyboard.
[Cut back to Monica and Rachel's apartment, Rachel is singing along with a song and dancing while facing the big picture window. Y'know, I think I'd pay real good money to be on the other side of that window!]
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Phoebe is playing a song. Chandler, Monica, and Ross are there as well.]
[Scene: The Philly, With or Without You is playing. (Which is the same song Ross played for Rachel in TOW the List.)]
(She lets her hair down and whips her hair around in Baywatch-esque slow motion with a Barry White song in the background. Chandler needless to say cant help but stare along with the rest of the male and lesbian population of North America.)
Phoebe: Okay, now you're just taking lines right out of the song!
Phoebe: Im sorry, but I just wrote the best dance song for your wedding. Check this out. (Gets ready to play.)
Phoebe: Yeah! I wrote Emma a song.
MONICA: Baddest. Otherwise the song would be Fat Fat Leroy Brown.
Joey: (He goes into a song and dance number)
Monica: Ohh come on, I love this song! Come on, youll be fine. (She starts to walk towards the floor.)
Phoebe: Can't a girl finish a song around here?
(She starts to play her song, but is stopped by Monica.)
Joey: Okay, its an audio question, name this television theme song. (Starts humming the theme to I Dream of Genie.)
(Rachel enters and interrupts Phoebe's song.)
(Mike takes off his coat to give to Phoebe and the steel band plays "The Wedding Song")
RADIO: Uh, we've just gotten a call from Rachel, and she told us what Ross did. It's pretty appalling, and Ross, if you're listening, I don't wanna play your song anymore. Why don't we devote our time to a couple that stands a chance? Avery, Michelle's sorry she hit you with her car and she hopes you two will work it out.
Chandler: Well, I did and it hurt. (they walk towards the bar) That's when I wrote the song: "Betrayal In The Common Room".
Singer: Okay, my next songs called: Phoebe Buffay, What Can I Say. I Really Loved When We Were Singing Partners, And I Shouldnt Have Left You That Way.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is working on her holiday song, Chandler is sitting on the couch reading a magazine, and Ross is sleeping on the couch.]
Big Nosed Rachel: I know, I know. And oh, and this time Chip promised that-that this time it will last at least for an entire song!
Carol: Oh please God, let there be a song.
PHOEBE: Yeah, much better. And you know what, don't feel bad, because it's a hard song.
Phoebe: (To Chandler) You're kinda stepping on the song. (She gets ready to play but is stopped by )
Joey: (on stage in an Austrian accent) Vell, Eva, ve've done some excellent vork here, and I vould have to say, your pwoblem is qviiite clear. (He goes into a song and dance number.)
Phoebe: Before I start, I just wanna say that umm, I have a cold, so if I sneeze in the middle of song, it's not on purpose. Oh, except the last verse of Pepper People. (Starts to sing) Smelly cat, smelly cat. What are they feeding you? (Stops singing) This chick sounds good. (Singing) Smelly cat, smelly--(stops singing) Hey Gunther, be a good little boy and bring me a whiskey.
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Chandler is looking for Monica while Tom Jones's signature song is playing in the background (Getting the theme yet? Tom Jones, Wayne Newton, casinos They're in Vegas people! Catch up!) It's Not Unusual, y'know, "It's not unusual to be loved by anyone! It's not unusual to have fun with anyone! But when I see you hanging about with anyone, it's not unusual to see me cry! I wanna die." Well, while that's playing he spots Monica playing craps and in victory hug the guy next to her. Chandler turns and walks out.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing a new song as the gang looks on.]
Joey: Hey-hey, Pheebs, check it out, we already learned a song. (To Rachel) Ready? One, two, three, four...
PHOEBE: Well I have a video, you have to pay attention. No this, this voice woman, she's so talented but, according to the producer people, they said she doesn't have like the right look or something, ya know. I mean, it's like, she's like one of those an imals at the pound who like nobody wants 'cause they're not pretty enough or you know. Like, like some old dog who's just kind of like stinky and. Huuuuh, oh my God, she's smelly cat. Oh, oh that song has so many levels.
Rachel: You WHAT? You sang... to our baby daughter... a song about a guy who likes to have sex with women with giant asses?